


Ordinary Heroes

by Raziel12



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: F/F, Family, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-20 02:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 109,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/580307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raziel12/pseuds/Raziel12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fang and Lightning might have been able to survive the fal'Cie, but can they survive their own children? The life and times of the Yun-Farron family, told snippet by snippet. Chapter 1: Dressing up can be fun... and not just for kids, either. A companion story to "Tell Me A Story".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Giddy Up

Giddy-up

 

“Come play with us, mommy!”

Fang looked up from where she was polishing her spear and grinned. Her two daughters had just come into the living room and as usual, it looked like they were up to something. Little Diana had somehow managed to convince her older sister, Averia, to give her a piggyback ride. Naturally, however, that wasn’t the end of things. The older of the two was wrapped in what looked a lot like a white bed sheet and to complete the picture, Diana had draped a pink towel over her head and her right hand was clutching a rolled up magazine like a sword.

Fang put her spear down for a moment and raised one eyebrow. “Hmm… what are you two supposed to be?” It wasn’t the first time that the girls had played pretend and when they did, they had a tendency to go a little bit overboard. For instance, they’d once spent almost a week pretending to be Snow and Hope. They’d even scrounged up two wigs, along with some gloves for Averia and a boomerang for Diana. The latter had amused Lightning, whilst the former had enraged her. Fang, though, had found the whole thing wonderfully amusing. Besides, an angry Lightning was a Lightning on the look out for stress relief and Fang was only too happy to oblige her in that regard, whether it was through some sparring or other… even more pleasant activities.

“Can’t you tell, mommy?” Diana huffed and narrowed her eyes in a very Lightning-like fashion. Unfortunately for Diana it was a little hard for Fang to take her daughter seriously when the girl was about half her size and clinging onto her older sister’s back like some kind of monkey. “I’m telling you, mommy, you should be able to tell! It’s really, really easy to tell!”

Fang took another long look at the pair and then shook her head. “Nope… I still can’t tell.”

“You meanie!” Diana growled. Eyes still narrowed she gave Averia’s hair a pull, earning a scowl from the older girl along with a poke in the side. “Giddy-up!” Diana shouted. “Come on, giddy-up!” 

“All right, all right,” Averia muttered, tugging at Diana’s hands. “I’m going, I’m going. Now stop pulling my hair, it hurts!”

Averia staggered forward and Fang watched with thinly veiled amusement as Diana kicked her legs around. Honestly, if Averia hadn’t had such a good sense of balance, the two of them would have ended up on the floor long ago.

“Take this, mommy!” Diana cried as she gave Fang what was supposed to be a tremendous whack with the rolled up magazine. Due to her size, however, it was more of a tap, and Fang just chuckled. “Do you get it now, mommy?” Diana said. “We’re playing Eidolon!” She reached down and tugged at the white bed sheet wrapped around Diana. “See, Averia is Odin and I’m mom!” She smiled happily and pointed at the pink towel wrapped draped over her head like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Now, don’t you feel silly you couldn’t tell?”

Fang struggled to hold back her laughter. Just like Lightning, Diana hated being laughed at and while the little girl had absolutely zero chance of actually hurting Fang, she could be absolutely devious when it came to pranks, something that Fang blamed entirely on Vanille. “I see,” Fang said, somehow managing to keep her face straight. “How silly of me.”

“Yes, very silly.” Diana nodded sagely. “Really, really silly.”

Fang smirked. Now that she thought about it, it wasn’t all that surprising that Diana had decided to play at being Lightning. The girl absolutely idolised Lightning and despite the fact that her hair was perfectly lovely – it was, after all, very much like Fang’s hair – Diana was always complaining that she wanted pink hair. Indeed, the issue of her colour had been at the centre of one of Averia and Diana’s few fights, with the younger of the two demanding that her sister ‘share’ her hair colour with her. Still, even if she would never say it out loud, Fang wouldn’t mind too much if Diana took after her a bit more.

“You know,” Fang said, a smirk forming on her lips. “You look really good, Diana, but what about me? Don’t you like my Eidolon?” She put on a blatantly fake sad face that somehow neither of her children saw through. “And what about poor Mr Snaggles?” She pointed at the Bahamut plush toy that was perched on the couch watching everything unfold like the elder statesman that he was. “What would Mr Snaggles think?”

Both Diana and Averia’s eyes widened comically.

“You’re right!” Diana wailed. She pulled on Averia’s hair. “Come on, turn around, we need to go change into mommy and her eidolon. We can’t just forget about Mr Snaggles!”

As the two children stumbled off, no doubt to go looking for something that would make Averia look like a metallic dragon, Fang returned her attention to her spear. The weapon was in need of a bit of maintenance and while Fang didn’t particularly enjoy the process of sharpening and polishing it – she much preferred actually using her spear – there was nothing worse than going off to fight a Behemoth King with a blunt spear. Hell, the last time that had happened, she’d been forced to use her spear as a club. She winced at the memory. Not only was clubbing a Behemoth King to death a very slow, tiring process, it was also messy, very messy. 

“Mommy,” Averia shouted from the direction of the kitchen, “We’re going to use some stuff from the kitchen.”

Fang chuckled. What did they need in there? “Sure,” she shouted back. “But remember the rules. Don’t touch the knives or set anything on fire.” She grinned. “And don’t take any food from the fridge.” There was a clatter as Averia bumped into something in the kitchen. “Yes, Averia, I know you’ve been sneaking cake. I don’t mind that much, but you need to get better at hiding it.” Back in Oerba, stealth had been one of the key skills that hunters needed to develop. Fang had honed hers sneaking extra food for her and Vanille out of the orphanage’s kitchens. 

“How did you know it was me, mommy?” Averia shouted from the kitchen.

“Because every time you stole cake you came back with icing on your mouth,” Fang shouted back. “That, and I kept finding cake crumbs in your bed. Next time, wipe your mouth and make sure you put a tissue out to catch any crumbs.” 

“Drat!” Averia growled.

“Don’t worry,” Fang said. “You’re still young, you’ve got plenty of time to learn.” She looked over at the clock and then smiled. “How long will you two need to get your costume ready? Your mom is going to be back in about half an hour and I’m sure she’d love to see it.”

For the next half an hour, Fang kept her eyes on her spear and her ears on the activity going on in the kitchen. The two girls were making a lot of noise banging things around and arguing, and Fang was certain that Averia even cursed once or twice in Pulsian, which Fang would probably have to speak to her about. Not only was Averia a little young to be using that particular word, but Lightning would probably also make both of them – Averia and Fang – wash their mouths out with soap. 

Fang was just putting the finishing touches on her spear when the front door opened.

“I’m home,” Lightning shouted. 

Fang put her spear down and ambled over to the front door. Lightning was there and Fang spent a good moment or two admiring the fine figure that the other woman cut in her Guardian Corps uniform. Now, Fang would never be caught dead in a uniform, but she didn’t have any objections at all to Lightning wearing one, especially one that fit so well. The only downside to how good Lightning looked in uniform was all the looks she got, from men and women, although Fang had found that a good glare and the casual offer of a “sparring match” put a stop to people ogling her Lightning, at least while she was present.

“What’s that you’ve got there, sunshine?” Fang asked, pointing at the thick folder of papers that Lightning was holding. “More paperwork?”

Lightning made a disgusted sound. “I don’t mind being promoted, but I just wish they’d let me see more action and less paperwork.” She shoved the folder down onto a table by the door. “I was filling out requisition forms for two hours and I still didn’t finish.” She glared savagely at the folder. “If I didn’t know I’d have to redo them, I’d burn the lot of them.”

“Hey, hey, enough of that.” Fang tugged Lightning to her before the pink haired woman really did set the folder alight. “You’re home now, which is all that matters.” She smirked and then pulled Lightning into a kiss. The other woman relaxed immediately and Fang was struck, once again, by how amazing it felt to kiss Lightning even after all these years and two wonderful kids. She hoped that never changed. 

“How was your day?” Lightning asked as they moved apart. They’d learned the hard way that kissing more than once or twice was not a good idea. They had a tendency to forget themselves and with the kids around… well, as parents it was their duty to not mentally scar their children. 

Fang shrugged and led Lightning into the living room. “Pretty boring, actually. I spent most of this morning looking over the reports from that last expedition into the mountains.” Lightning winced and Fang gave a light chuckle. “Yes, the one where they all got food poisoning because they didn’t bring enough rations and no one bothered learning what was poisonous and what wasn’t.” She took a seat on the couch and pulled Lightning onto her lap. “On the upside, at least they didn’t die, although reading through the report, the food poisoning they got was bad enough to make them wish they were dead.”

Lightning’s lips twitched. “Ah, yes. I think they referred to it as ‘extreme intestinal distress’ in their report.”

“Yep, although I guess you’ve got to give them points for coming up with an interesting euphemism.” Fang pressed her face into Lightning’s hair. Even after a hard day at work, the other woman still managed to smell nice. “You want some coffee,” Fang asked, pointing to the still warm cup on the table beside the couch.

Lightning nodded gratefully and pulled the cup of coffee over, somehow managing the feat without leaving Fang’s lap. “So, what are the kids up to? I hear a lot of noise from the kitchen, Fang.”

“Oh, I think it’ll be good if you just let them finish,” Fang said before she raised her voice and called out to her children. “Are you kids done yet? If you are, come show mom and mommy what you’ve come up with.”

“We’re almost done,” Averia shouted back. “Just wait a second.”

And sure enough, a few seconds later, Averia and Diana stumbled out of the kitchen and into the living room. For a moment Fang and Lightning just stared… and stared. 

“That’s…” Fang trailed off, her shoulders shaking as she tried to hold back her laughter. On her lap, Lightning gave her a dark look before moving off as Fang dropped to her knees on the floor and burst into full-blown laughter. “That’s… that’s just too good,” Fang managed to get out between fits of laughter. “You two are just too cute!”

Diana gave Fang a scowl and then looked over at Lightning. “It looks good, doesn’t it, mom?”

To her credit, Lightning managed to keep a straight face. “It sure is.” She paused. “But what are you?”

Diana smiled broadly. “Can’t you tell? I’m mommy and Averia is Bahamut!”

Finally managing to get a hold of herself, Fang leaned back against the couch and looked back at her daughters. Averia was wearing a bizarre mix of black and purple towels and aluminium foil shaped rather crudely to resemble Bahamut. That alone though, wouldn’t have been enough to have Fang in hysterics. No, the real icing on the cake was the two coat hangers that had been taped to Averia’s back in place of wings. They were draped in purple and pink dishcloths and there were even little strings attached so that when Diana pulled on them they flapped. And speaking of Diana, Fang and Lightning’s younger daughter had a big blue blanket wrapped around her and she was holding a mop in place of Fang’s spear. Mr Snaggles, Fang thought with an almost manic grin, would be very proud indeed.

“I see,” Lightning said. “Is this a new game then?”

Diana nodded quickly. “Yep. We’re playing Eidolons.” She paused and looked at Fang. “Before you came home, mom, I was playing as you and Averia was being Odin, but then mommy said that Mr Snaggles would be sad if we didn’t dress up as him so me and Averia went into the kitchen and got lots of things and then…”

“Well, I think you two did a very good job, didn’t they Fang?” Lightning stood and patted both girls on the shoulder and then shot a vicious glare at Fang. “You even have flapping wings. I’m really proud of you both.”

Fang stood up. Laughing aside, the girls really had done a great job and it would be a damn shame not to acknowledge it. “Yeah, your mom’s right,” Fang said. “You two did a great job. You look even better than me and the real Mr Snaggles.”

Diana gave a little cheer and even Averia grinned widely. 

“Mom,” Diana said, poking Lightning with her mop-spear. “Why don’t you play with us?”

“What do you mean?” Lightning asked before she reached over for her cup of coffee and took a long sip of it.

Diana smiled and waved her mop-spear through the air in crazy circles. “Well, mommy couldn’t play with me and Averia before because you need two people to play Eidolon and since I was with Averia, she didn’t have anyone to play with.” She pulled out a white bed sheet from the mass of black and purple towels and aluminium foil around Averia. “You can be you and mommy can be Odin.” She nodded to herself in satisfaction. “Mom, you can ride mommy!”

“Gagragghgh!”

Fang burst out laughing as Lightning spat out her mouthful of coffee and let loose a series of ragged coughs. “What?” Lightning muttered as she struggled to recover, her cheeks a rich, rosy pink. “What did you just say, Diana?”

“Well,” Diana said, looking a little puzzled at Lightning’s lack of understanding, “See how I’m mommy and Averia is Mr Snaggles? That means there’s no one being you or Odin, so you can be you and mommy can be Odin.” She shrugged. “You ride Odin, don’t you, mom? So that means you’ll be riding mommy instead.”

“…” If it were possible, Lightning’s cheeks just got redder.

As Fang watched the whole debacle unfold, she was hard pressed not to burst out laughing again. Diana had absolutely no idea of how her words could be taken and neither did Averia, by the looks of it. Slowly, a smirk formed on Fang’s face. Oh, Lightning was going to kill her later, but this was just too good an opportunity to pass up. Putting a dejected look on her face, Fang reached out and took Lightning’s hands in hers. “What’s wrong, Lightning?” Fang asked softly, her eyes twinkling with mirth even as she carefully schooled her features to look utterly distraught. “Don’t you want to ride me?”

“…” Apparently, Lightning’s face really could get redder.

Still with a sad look on her face, Fang turned to her two daughters. “Poor mommy,” Fang put one hand over her face and sighed dramatically, “It doesn’t look like your mom wants to ride me at all.”

“Damn it…” Lightning muttered, cheeks still aflame. “Stop doing that, Fang.”

Fang grinned, certain now that the only reason she wasn’t dead was because Lightning would probably feel bad about killing her in front of their children. “Well, sunshine, aren’t you going to hop on?” She bent down and gestured for Lightning to climb onto her back.

“Yay!” Diana cheered as Fang lifted Lightning up onto her back. “Mom is riding mommy!”

X X X

Later that night, Fang awoke, her danger sense screaming that there was trouble close by. In an instant, she was fully alert. With the girls and Lightning in the house, there was no way that she’d ignore even the slightest hint of danger. However, she scarcely managed to roll over in bed before she found herself stopped, pinned down with her hands held above her head. She struggled for just a moment and then stopped as she took in the familiar form on top of her.

“You had a lot of fun at my expense today, Fang,” Lightning whispered, her lips only a hair’s breadth from Fang’s. In the near darkness of their bedroom, Lightning’s eyes glittered with cold fire, her cerulean gaze a heady mix of fury and desire. “That wasn’t very nice of you at all.”

Not bothering to struggle, Fang did her best not to shiver. Over the years she’d come to know Claire Farron very well. Claire Farron was kind and gentle, and sort of shy, and almost too easy to embarrass. Fang loved her with all her heart. Lightning Farron, though, could be cold, ruthless, and absolutely without pity. And it was Lightning looking down at her now with her lips drawn into something that was almost a snarl, not Claire. Most people would have been terrified out of their wits. Fang wasn’t most people. In fact, Fang loved Lightning every bit as much as she loved Claire.

“Really?” Fang murmured, leaning up to try and kiss Lightning only for the other woman to pull away with a cold smile. “You could have fooled me.”

Lightning’s eyes narrowed to little more than slits and Fang felt a surge of heat run through her. Oh, she was in for it now. “You said you wanted me to ride you, Fang,” Lightning whispered, voice thick with passion as she leaned down and brushed her lips against Fang’s throat. “Well, I’ve only got one thing to say to you.”

“What’s that?” Fang could barely get the words out as Lightning began to plant little kisses up her jaw.

Lightning smirked and pulled back, licking her lips and locking eyes with Fang. “Giddy-up.” 

X X X

The next morning, Fang sat down for breakfast with a groan. Lightning had been very… passionate the night before and although neither of them had minded at the time, she knew for a fact that they were both feeling the after effects of some of their more, ahem, interesting activities. Needless to say, neither Diana nor Averia were likely to miss the fact that both of them were hobbling around like cripples.

“Are you okay, mom?” Averia asked as she watched Lightning bend over very slowly to pull some hot bread out of the oven.

Lightning nodded and reached for a cup of coffee. “I’m fine, honey, I just strained my back a little.” She took a sip of her coffee and tried to ignore the lecherous look Fang sent her way. It probably hadn’t been a good idea to let the other woman get to her so much, but Fang had pushed her just a little too far with some of those taunts, especially when Diana had insisted on an Eidolon jousting match and Fang had urged Lightning to “ride her harder”.

Diana put her food down and tilted her head to one side. “Was it when we were playing Eidolon, mom?” She looked over at Fang. “Was it when you were riding mommy?”

Lightning spluttered wildly as she scrambled to find a cloth to wipe up all the coffee that she’d just spewed all over the kitchen counter.

“Diana,” Fang said, smiling as she ignored the death glare that Lightning sent her, “You’re one smart kid.”

X X X

Author’s Notes

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off this.

So… how do I explain this? Well, one of the things that I tend to do when I’m writing is daydream about other things that I could be writing (is that odd?) and while I was thinking of the next story to cover for “Tell Me a Story”, an idea popped into my head and while I was thinking about that (it involved the kids playing pretend but in a different fashion) this popped into my head (or rather fell out of my head, whichever you prefer). The end result, I guess, is something that is a bizarre mix of humour (hopefully) almost smut (really?) and a random assortment of other stuff, like how much fun it is to pretend that you are a giant metallic dragon that can crush stuff. 

For those of you who haven’t read “Tell Me a Story”, Averia and Diana are Lightning and Fang’s two daughters. Our intrepid heroines might have conquered the fal’Cie, but children are an entirely different (and altogether much more piranha-like) kettle of fish, if you’ll pardon the idiom. Honestly, if I have kids and they turn out anything like me, I’m in serious, serious trouble. 

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	2. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lightning is out sick, and now it's up to the kids and Fang to do the shopping. It can't be that hard, can it? Oh yes, it can. There's also ice cream.

**Shopping**

Fang looked down at Lightning and felt her lips twitch. The temptation too smirk was almost overwhelming, but she liked living a little too much to just give in to it. Still, Lightning cut quite a picture on their bed, her lithe form hidden beneath a nest of blankets as she sniffled miserably and pawed around for yet another tissue. 

“You’re looking a little under the weather there, sunshine,” Fang drawled. “But that’s what happens when you spend the whole night tromping around in the rain.”

Lightning blew her nose and then turned to glare at Fang. “It wasn’t like I had a choice, Fang. You know there have been a couple of attacks out near the edge of town.” She coughed and reached for the glass of water on the bedside table. “I needed to be out there.”

“Really?” Fang loved Lightning, she really did, but the soldier had a tendency to take on a little too much responsibility. “Because if I remember correctly, those ‘attacks’ were all on livestock and none of them were that bad. A few of your lackeys should have been able to handle things just fine.”

“They’re not my lackeys, Fang, they’re my subordinates.” Another sneeze wracked Lightning’s frame and for a moment she just looked so pathetic that Fang was hard pressed not to just scoop her up into a hug. “Besides, this year’s new recruits have been nothing but trouble. It’s a miracle none of them have been killed yet.”

A miracle? Not exactly. Fang had seen the new recruits, had even had the dubious honour of training with them a few times. The only reason that some of them were still alive was sitting right in front of her looking utterly miserable. Lightning expected the best out of her soldiers, but in return she gave them her best. For all that Lightning often grumbled about the competence of her new recruits, Fang knew that Lightning would give her all to make sure that every one of them made it through each mission in one piece. That was probably why she’d joined them last night in the pouring rain to look for the creature responsible for the attacks on some of the farms on the outskirts of town. 

“You’re laughing at me, aren’t you, Fang?” Lightning muttered. 

“What makes you think that?” Fang smirked and danced out of the way as a pillow shot through the air where her head had been only a moment ago. Even sick, Lightning had a good arm on her. “Do you hear me laughing?” Of course, Fang wasn’t stupid enough to laugh out loud. She was, however, laughing her ass off on the inside.

“I know you, Fang, and just because you’re not laughing at me out loud doesn’t mean you’re not laughing at me on the inside,” Lightning grumbled before she had to reach for another tissue. At the rate she was going, they’d be out of tissue before lunchtime. “Now, how about instead of just standing there and teasing your poor, sick wife, you go and make yourself useful.” Lightning scowled, but with her puffy, watery eyes, the expression lacked its usual force. “I was supposed to go shopping today, Fang. We’re out of milk, bread, and just about everything else.” Fang opened her mouth to make a suggestion, but Lightning simply threw another pillow in her direction. “And no, Fang, you cannot just out and kill us something for dinner.”

“Fine,” Fang said. “Although I don’t see why you’re so against my going out and hunting for something. It won’t take long and whatever I bring back has got to be healthier than some of that packaged rubbish they sell down at the supermarket.”

Lightning scowled and looked for another pillow to throw. Damn, there were only a few more. “Remember the last time you went hunting?” Fang nodded slowly. “Do you remember how great Averia thought it was?” Fang nodded again, this time with a big smile on her face. “Now… do you remember how Diana took it?”

“Ah…”

“Yes, Fang, ah.” Lightning coughed and took a long sip of water. “You know how much Diana loves watching that Gary the Gorgonopsid show on television, so what on earth possessed you to kill one in front of her?” Lightning made a disgusted sound. “She was absolutely convinced that the gorgonopsid you killed was Gary until the next episode aired.” 

“In my defence,” Fang said, “That show isn’t exactly accurate. Real gorgonopsids don’t dance around and sing. They usually spend most of their time trying to rip your face off.” Fang shrugged. “It was probably better that she find out how gorgonopsids really are sooner rather than later. Can you imagine what would happen if she actually tried to drag a real gorgonopsid into a sing along…” Fang trailed off at the look on Lightning’s face. “I’m putting my foot in my mouth again, aren’t I?”

Lightning smiled faintly. “More like your whole leg.”

“Okay,” Fang said. “I guess it might not be such a good idea to go hunting. How about I take the girls shopping then?” She grinned. “You can just stay here and take things easy.”

“Nice save,” Lightning remarked dryly before her lips curved into a smile. “Now, when you go shopping, don’t let the girls boss you around.” She reached for another tissue and wiped her nose. “And don’t even try to deny it, Fang, we both know how you get when they start begging. You just can’t say no to them.”

Fang laughed and scratched the back of her head. “Well, they just look so cute, you know.” She grinned at Lightning. “And it’s not like you find it easy saying no to them either.”

Lightning scowled. “I still say no to them more often than you.”

Fang was just about to say more when the door to their bedroom burst open and a small black haired blur hurled itself at Lightning. 

“Don’t die, mom!” Diana wailed. “You have to live!”

Fang chuckled and reached over to try and pry Diana off Lightning. However, the little girl was quite firmly attached to her mother, with her arms around Lightning’s neck and her legs around Lightning’s middle. “Diana, what are you talking about? No one is going to die.” 

“Really?” Diana pulled back a fraction and looked up at Lightning, her big blue eyes seemingly on the verge of tears. “You’re really not going to die, mom?”

Not sure what else to say, Lightning simply nodded. “Of course not, what makes you even think that?”

Diana eased her hold on Lightning a fraction and curled up onto the pink haired woman’s lap. “Well… I was watching this show on TV yesterday and someone else got the sniffles and they were sneezing and coughing and then… then they were dead.” She paused and gave Lightning’s cheek an experimental poke. “But their head did sort of explode first…”

Lightning raised one eyebrow. “Wait... their head exploded?” She could feel a headache coming on. Stupid television. “What was the show called?”

“I don’t know,” Diana replied. “But there were lots of people in white coats in it.”

“I see.” Lightning sighed. Thank the Maker for medical dramas. “You know, Diana, those shows are just make believe. People don’t really die like that.” Indeed, Lightning could count on one hand the number of times she’d actually seen someone’s head explode.

“Really?” Diana’s smile was almost too big to fit onto her face.

“Really, really,” Lightning said as she shooed Diana off her lap. “Now, why don’t you go wake up your sister? Mommy is going to take the two of you shopping.”

“Yay!” Diana cheered before she ran for the door only to stop just shy of it to look back at Lightning. “Get better, mom, and no dying!”

Once Diana was out of the room, Fang smirked at Lightning.

“It’s not funny,” Lightning said. “We need to be more careful about what they watch, Fang. It’s bad enough that both of us do some dangerous work. I won’t have them thinking that we’re just going to roll over and die from something like a cold.”

“Look, I know that,” Fang said seriously. “I’ll talk to them about that later, set them straight.” She paused for a moment and then grinned as a strangled scream echoed through the house followed by a roar of fury. Diana had probably just awakened Averia using her favourite method: by jumping on her. “Look, I’m going to go keep those two from killing each other. You just sit tight and rest. If you need anything, just call me. Or…” she glanced out the window. “Give Serah a call, she does live next door, you know.”

Lightning frowned. “I’ll manage.”

Fang smiled at the truculent expression on Lightning’s face. Lightning had no problems dropping everything to look after Serah, but she seemed to hate it when their roles were reversed. “Oh, by the way, is there anything special you want me to get you while we’re down at the supermarket?”

Lightning licked her lips. “Get me some ice cream, the usual flavours.”

Fang laughed. “Really, you want me to get you ice cream? I don’t know how you can stomach the stuff when you’re sick.” Indeed, Fang had always found Lightning’s desire for ice cream when she was sick to be absolutely bizarre. It was only when Fang had asked Serah about it that she’d understood. Apparently, Lightning and Serah’s parents had taken them out for ice cream quite a lot when they were little. Serah could only barely remember those outings, but according to the younger Farron, Lightning had always looked back on those times very fondly. If Fang had to guess, Lightning asked for ice cream when she was sick not because she particularly liked the taste of it, but because it made her feel better thinking about the long ago days when her mother and father had been around. Of course, when Fang had asked Lightning about it, she’d firmly denied that it was anything quite so sappy and Fang’s jaw knew better than to press the question any further. 

“Fang, your wife is feeling cold and sick and miserable. She wants you to get her some ice cream.” Lightning’s brows furrowed. “So what should you do?”

Fang wisely chose to make a hasty retreat for the door. “Fine, fine, I’ll get you your ice cream, just don’t blame me if you get a stomach ache later.”

X X X

After leaving Lightning up in their bedroom, it took Fang the better part of fifteen minutes to calm her two daughters down. Diana didn’t help matters much by using Fang as a human shield as she alternated between throwing pillows at her older sister and explaining that jumping on her really was the best way to wake her up. And as much as Fang sympathised with Averia, she couldn’t exactly support her suggestion of letting her jump on Diana as way of equalising things.

“Look,” Fang said. “Stop arguing both of you.” She glanced behind her at Diana. “Diana, no more jumping on your sister. It’s not nice and you might hurt her.” Averia grinned triumphantly and Fang rolled her eyes. “And Averia, no more trying to jump on your sister. She might have jumped on you, but that doesn’t mean that you can jump on her. Besides, you’re a lot bigger than her. You might really hurt her if you did that. Do you want that?”

Averia actually paled at that. “No,” she mumbled. “I don’t.”

“Good.” Fang’s voice softened. “It’s okay to get angry about stuff like this, Averia, but Diana is your little sister, so you need to cut her a little slack.” She gave Diana a little poke in the side. “And you, Diana, need to behave and start treating your older sister with respect.” She sighed. “Now, both of you get dressed, we’re going to go shopping.”

Of course, averting one crisis only led to another. Just seconds after the two girls had gone off to get dressed, an aggravated wail echoed down the corridor.

“Mommy,” Diana cried. “I can’t find my favourite shirt!”

“It’s in the wash,” Fang shouted back. “Just wear something else.”

“But I want to wear my favourite shirt!” Diana shouted.

Throwing her hands up in despair, Fang strode into the girls’ bedroom and took a quick survey of the available shirts. “How about this one?” Fang suggested, holding up a bright orange Gary the Gorgonopsid shirt. “It’s got Gary on it.”

Diana shook her head. “I don’t want to wear orange today.”

“Maybe this one?” Averia suggested holding up another shirt. “It’s got Mr Snaggles on it.”

Diana hesitated for a moment and Fang was just about to do a mental victory dance when the little girl shook her head. “No. I wear my Mr Snaggles shirt on Wednesdays. It’s Saturday today so I can’t wear it.”

“Maybe this one?” Fang held up a T-shirt with Hecatonceir on it. “It has Mr Grabby on it.”

Diana huffed and looked at Fang as though her suggestion was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “Mommy, you know I only wear my Mr Grabby T-shirt when I’m with Aunt Vanille.”

Fang bit back a curse and looked around for another T-shirt.

“How about this one?” Averia said as she held up a pink T-shirt. “It’s almost the same colour as mom’s hair.”

Diana’s eyes widened. “You’re right!” She giggled. “I’ll wear that one.”

As Diana shrugged the T-shirt on, Fang leaned over to whisper into Averia’s ear. “Nice work, I owe you one, kiddo.”

Averia smirked. “That trick always works on her.”

With both girls finally dressed, Fang drove them over to the shopping centre. As always, she took a moment to just stand and stare at the big building. Even after all these years, she still found the whole place a little odd. It was probably because of her childhood – shopping centres hadn’t exactly been commonplace on Gran Pulse – but she did have to admit that it was pretty convenient to be able to get most of the things you wanted in one place. 

“Okay,” Fang said as the three of them walked through the doors of the shopping centre. “We’re here to go shopping…” She trailed off as both Averia and Diana headed away from the supermarket, Averia toward one of the stores selling weapons and Diana toward the pet store. “Damn it,” she muttered. “Who should I after first?”

The all too eager way that Averia was eyeing one of the spears on display made Fang’s mind up for her.

“Can I get that?” Averia asked the moment Fang was next to her. “I promise I’ll take good care of it and practice everyday.”

Fang grinned. “Averia… that thing is twice as tall as you are.” She tilted her head to one side and examined the spear more closely. “Anyway, that one isn’t any good.”

“Well, how about that one?” Averia asked, pointing at another spear. “Is that one better?”

“Actually…” Fang shook her head. What was she doing? “Look, come on. We’re here to go to the supermarket. Besides, you’re still a little too young to handle a real weapon.” She reached down to ruffle her daughter’s hair. “Maybe when you’re a bit older.”

Averia huffed. “But when will I be old enough?”

Fang smiled. “Soon,” she said. “But not today. Now, come on, we need to get your sister before she tries to get all of the animals out of their cages.” Fang glanced over at Diana and paled. The little girl was already making good progress toward liberating the various animals in the pet store to go join Gary in the wild. “No, Diana!” she shouted. “Don’t touch that!”

X X X

After only just barely preventing a mass exodus of pets from the pet store, Fang stepped into the supermarket with something akin to relief. Surely things could only go more smoothly now that they were finally where they were supposed to be.

“Right,” Fang said as she pulled a trolley over. “Today we’re going to do the shopping because mom is sick.” She paused. “And you’d better behave or so help me…” she trailed off, unsure of what kind of threat to use. She loved her daughter too much to really do anything too horrible to them, but she could probably come up with something if she put her mind to it. Perhaps she’d ask Lightning about it once they got back. Yes, she thought with a grin, that would definitely be a good idea.

“Um… mommy,” Averia said. “Did you bring a list?”

“A list?” Fang’s eye twitched. “A list?”

Averia’s green eyes narrowed a fraction and Fang almost flinched. It was almost like Lightning was right there scolding her. “Yeah. Mom always brings a list of things to buy. She says it makes everything quicker and more efficient.” Fang shivered. For an eight year old, Averia could look pretty intimidating when she wanted to. “You do have a list, right?”

Fang put on her most confident smile. “Nope, I don’t have one, but don’t worry.” She tapped the side of her head. “I know exactly what we need.” She ignored the dubious look that Averia gave her and looked around. “How about we start at this end of the supermarket and just work our way around, aisle by aisle. We won’t miss anything that way and you two can tell me if I do happen to forget anything.”

Things started off quite well. For instance, Fang was very proud of herself for remembering to pick up several loaves of bread, and not just plain white bread either, but the whole meal variety that Lightning insisted they get. Frankly, to Fang, bread was bread, but she knew better than to argue about this sort of thing with Lightning. However, the first sign of trouble emerged when it was time to pick up some fruits and vegetables.

“Now, how about some fruits and vegetables?” Fang asked. “What does your mom usually get?”

With a completely straight face, Averia replied, “Mom never gets any fruits or vegetables when we go shopping.”

Beside Averia, Diana nodded. “Yeah. She never does.”

Fang chuckled. She had to hand it to them – they did look very much like they were telling the truth. Unfortunately, she knew for a fact that Lightning picked up a lot of fruits and vegetables when she went shopping and she made sure that both girls ate plenty of them come lunchtime and dinnertime. “Really?” Fang said. “Because I seem to remember us having vegetables with dinner yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that too.” She paused and put on a mock thoughtful look. “And there was fruit in both of your lunches too, every day this week.”

Both girls looked a little nervous now.

“You two wouldn’t be lying to me now, would you?” Fang smirked. “Because if you were, I’d have to punish you.” Averia grimaced and Diana took a step back to hide behind her older sister. “So, are you going to tell me the truth?”

Averia looked away. “I suppose she does get a few fruits and vegetables.”

“That’s what I thought.” Fang cackled. “And as punishment for trying to lie to me, I want you two to pick out the fruits and vegetables that your mom usually gets and get twice as many as usual.” She tapped her foot on the ground as the two girls slowly – very slowly – walked toward the fruits and vegetables. “And don’t even think of trying to get less than you should. If you do, I’ll ask your mom and when I find out, I’ll come back and get even more!” Both girls shuddered and Fang grinned. It would be a while yet before her daughters could pull a fast one on her, although she very much looked forward to seeing them try.

After the little battle over the fruits and vegetables, things settled down for a while as they wound their way through the supermarket picking up vital supplies like biscuits, juice, and vast quantities of coffee. However, the makeshift peace between Fang and the girls came to an abrupt end the moment they set foot into the candy aisle.

“Damn it…” Fang muttered as she stared down the length of the aisle. There was nothing but candy here, lots and lots of candy. And that meant trouble.

“Can we please get this, mommy, please?” Diana begged holding up some brightly coloured thing that Fang was sure was nothing more than seventeen different kinds of sugar.

“How about this one, mommy?” Averia asked, the girl’s serious side gone for a moment as she gleefully waved around some marshmallows in the shape of a flan. “This one is really good.”

With a sigh, Fang shook her head. “No.”

Immediately, Diana’s eyes began to tear up and Fang had to grit her teeth to stop herself from just going over there and throwing her arms around her little girl. She needed to be strong. There was no way that Diana was actually going to cry. Diana was just faking it to get Fang to buy her the candy. 

“But mommy…” Diana murmured, eyes big and watery and so very, very blue. “Mommy…”

“I said no,” Fang said as firmly as she could. “There’s too much sugar in that. It’ll rot your teeth and then…” 

Diana now had her hands clasped in front of her and her bottom lip was jutting out and quivering just so.

“Please, mommy, please…”

It would have been easier if Diana had just thrown a tantrum. As it was, the quiet, mournful way that the little girl was asking for the candy made it infinitely harder for Fang to say no. Maybe she could just get it for her… no! She needed to stay strong. Turning away from Diana, Fang tried to gather her thoughts only to come face to face with Averia.

“We promise we’ll be good, mommy,” Averia said, voice soft and gentle and so very, very earnest. “So, please, mommy…” And then, just to add the finishing touch, Averia added, “I’ve been really good at school, haven’t I? And you did say that you’d get me something if I didn’t get into so many fights…”

Fang wavered. She had sort of promised to get Averia something if she didn’t get into so many fights at school and the girl had been keeping out of trouble lately. Not that Fang really blamed Averia for those fights all that much – anyone who made fun of the girl’s hair probably deserved a punch in the face, because, damn it, her hair was beautiful. “I guess I could get you one each…”

“Yay!”

And before Fang knew it, the trolley was filled with about a dozen candy bars and the looks of sorrow on the girls’ faces had vanished, replaced instead with broad grins that let Fang know just how completely she’d been played. Damn, Lightning was going to kill her.

“Okay, now how about you two go get some cereal,” Fang said. “I’ll just wait here.” Naturally, the moment the two girls were out of sight, Fang surreptitiously returned a few of the candy bars back to the shelves. She might have caved, but she still had a few tricks up her sleeve.

A few moments later, Averia and Diana returned, each with a big box of what had, over the years, become the family’s favourite cereal: Bahamut-Os. Grinning, Fang thought back to when the cereal had first come out. Lightning had been horrified but that horror had quickly been replaced by a sense of competitiveness when it had emerged that there was a cereal brand for each of their Eidolons. Their daughters might like Bahamut more than Odin, but perhaps they might like Odin-Os more than Bahamut-Os.

No such luck.

The girls had taken to Bahamut-Os with the same fervour that they’d taken to the actual Eidolon and despite Lightning’s best efforts, each box of Odin-Os she bought remained lonely and unopened until there was literally nothing else in the house to eat. Fang, of course, had found the whole thing utterly amusing and had commented, quite seriously, that she was sad that there weren’t any Lightning-Os. Why? Because she wouldn’t have minded eating Lightning for breakfast each morning.

Lightning had punched her in the jaw for that. Twice.

But it had been so worth it.

“Okay, mommy, what do we get next?” Averia asked, breaking Fang from her reminiscence.

Fang looked down into the trolley and then frowned. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d forgotten to pick up a number of things. “Say, Averia, I’m not missing anything am I?”

For the next half hour, Fang was hard pressed to contain her embarrassment as they backtracked through the supermarket. It turned out that she had missed quite a few things – toothpaste, tissues, and school supplies, to name just a few – all of which Averia was only too happy to point out to her. If it weren’t so pathetic, Fang would have found the idea of being ordered around by a miniature Lightning to be absolutely hilarious. As it was, she simply got a few understanding looks from a number of fathers that they passed who were also, apparently, in much the same boat as her.

“Well, that looks like just about everything,” Fang said with a sigh of relief. Her legs were killing her. “The only thing left to get is ice cream.” She waved weakly in the direction of the ice cream. “Why don’t you two go get some ice cream? Mommy will just wait here for you.” 

The two girls scurried off, but stopped just shy of the ice cream.

“What flavour should we get?” Averia asked.

“Get chocolate and strawberry,” Fang said. “That’s what your mom likes.”

Averia nodded. “Right.”

A few moments later the girls came back with several large tubs of Neapolitan ice cream. 

“Is this okay?” Averia asked.

Fang shuddered. “Uh… actually, why don’t you two put those back and just get some chocolate and some strawberry.”

Averia made a face and pointed at the cover of the Neapolitan ice cream where it very clearly showed that it had strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream. “But why? It has strawberry and chocolate in it.” 

Beside Averia, Diana nodded her head up and down several times. “It does, mommy.” 

Fang winced. “Trust me, your mom doesn’t like Neapolitan ice cream, so you should put it back.”

“Okay…” Averia gave Fang a curious look. “But why doesn’t mom like Neapolitan ice cream?”

“Well…” Fang wasn’t sure quite how to explain. “She just doesn’t okay, so just put it back and get a tub of strawberry ice cream and a tub of chocolate ice cream instead.”

As the two girls ambled back over to the ice cream section, Fang shuddered again. She’d never understood why Lightning hated Neapolitan ice cream so much, but she’d never, ever make the mistake of getting it for the pink haired woman again. Ever.

X X X

“Fang…”

Fang groaned and rolled over in a vain attempt to get back to sleep. She’d been in the middle of a wonderful dream involving her and Lightning in a heated sparring session that had, somehow, become heated in another, even more pleasant way.

“Fang…”

“What?” Fang mumbled as she pulled her pillow over her head. In her dream, Lightning had come up with so very, very interesting uses for the handcuffs that she carried with her as part of the Guardian Corps. “I’m trying to go back to sleep.”

“Fang!” This time Fang’s name was accompanied by a sharp poke in the stomach and Fang tossed her pillow aside and rolled over to find herself staring into the very blue, and very aggravated eyes of her wife.

“Oh… uh… hey, Lightning.” Fang winced. Dream-Lightning’s eyes had been darkened and narrowed with the heady passion that so often flared between them. Real-Lightning’s eyes, however, were darkened and narrowed with the dangerous anger that also flared between them quite often. 

“Fang…”

“Yes...” Fang replied slowly as she looked past Lightning to where the clock was on the bedside table. Damn, it was only four o’clock in the morning. “Are you okay? It’s a little early to be up, don’t you think.”

Lightning’s smile was cold and Fang was suddenly struck by the urge to run. That wasn’t Lightning’s 'Don’t waste your breath asking for mercy – I’m going to ravish you senseless smile’, no, that was her ‘Don’t waste your breathing asking for mercy – I’m pissed off and you’ll find none’ smile. 

“I know what time it is, Fang,” Lightning growled. “And I want you to do something for me.”

“Uh… sure.” Fang tried to edge away, but Lightning’s embrace was just a little too tight for her to get away. “What do you want me to do?”

Lightning’s reply was simple. “Get me some ice cream.”

“Um… sunshine, you know I love you very, very much,” Fang said, “But we don’t have any ice cream.”

Lightning tilted her head to one side and smiled. Very toothily. “Fang, you know I love you very, very much, but I don’t think you understand.” Her cerulean eyes narrowed ominously as her voice dropped to a deathly whisper. “I want some ice cream and I want it now.”

“But… it’s four o’clock in the morning, sunshine and…”

Lightning gave Fang a shove and the Pulsian tumbled out of the bed. As she scrambled up onto her haunches, Fang could only stare up at Lightning with a mixture of awe and terror.

“Fang, I am your wife,” Lightning said as she glared down at Fang, one hand over her swollen belly. “And right now, I am very, very pregnant with your child. Do you know what that means? It means that every morning, I wake up and puke my guts out. And when I’m not puking my guts out, I’m feeling miserable and as bloated as a whale so if I say that I want some ice cream, what do you think you should say?”

Fang shuddered. What scared her the most was that during the whole thing, Lightning’s voice had remained eerily calm. “Uh… which flavour?”

Lightning smiled sunnily. “Good.” She patted Fang on the head and then pointed out the door. “Now go. I want chocolate and strawberry.”

“Okay…” Fang looked at the bed, which looked awfully inviting and then out the window. It was pouring rain outside. “How about I get some for you in the morn –” The clock sailed through the air just shy of her head. “Okay!” Fang yelped as she stumbled to her feet. “I’m going, I’m going!”

Of course, when she drove down to the supermarket, the damn place was closed. Not sure about what her chances were of living to see the next day if she didn’t come back with something, Fang drove around until she finally found a convenience store that was open and did sell ice cream. They didn’t have any strawberry or chocolate ice cream, but they did have Neapolitan, which she supposed was good enough.

Apparently it wasn’t.

“This isn’t what I asked for.” Lightning looked at the tub of Neapolitan ice cream with utter disdain, her regal features drawn into a scowl. 

“But it’s got chocolate.” Fang opened the tub of ice cream and pointed to where a third of the tub was filled with chocolate flavoured ice cream. “And it’s got strawberry too.”

If it was possible, Lightning’s scowl deepened. “But it has vanilla.” Lighting pointed at the offending third of ice cream and her fingers curled into claws. “I don’t like vanilla. I hate vanilla. It ruins the taste of the chocolate and strawberry.” She folded her arms over her chest. “I don’t want it if it has vanilla in it.”

Fang drew in a deep, deep breath. She loved Lightning. Lightning was pregnant with their child. Only a few more months to go… “Okay… okay… how about I get rid of the vanilla?”

Lightning’s eyes softened. “Really? You’ll get rid of the vanilla?”

A little taken aback by the sudden shift in mood, Fang edged away. “Uh… yeah?”

“Okay,” Lightning leaned forward and pulled Fang into a passionate kiss. “If you get rid of the vanilla, then it’s okay.”

And that was how Fang found herself downstairs in front of the kitchen sink, scooping all of the vanilla ice cream out of the tub of Neapolitan ice cream.

When she got back upstairs and presented Lightning with the now vanilla-less tub of ice cream, the pink haired woman’s lips curved into a soft, gentle smile.

“Oh, Fang, you really got rid of all the vanilla for me.” She pointed at the tub of ice cream. “Look, it’s just chocolate and strawberry, the way it should be.” She threw her arms around Fang and then began to dig into the ice cream – the chocolate especially – with frightening gusto. “Oh, Fang, I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too, sunshine,” Fang said. Yep, next time, she would definitely be the one carrying the baby. Hell, it’d be nice to order Lightning around for a change.

“Fang…” Lightning cooed, offering the huntress a big spoon of strawberry ice cream. “Eat up.”

X X X

Fang snapped back to the present as Averia and Diana put several tubs of strawberry and chocolate ice cream into the trolley. 

“Are we done now, mommy?” Diana asked.

Fang took one last quick look at the contents of the trolley and the nodded. “Looks like,” she said, before adding much more softly, “Thank Etro.”

With the shopping done, they headed back home. As they pulled to a stop in front of the house, Fang wasn’t the least bit surprised to find that Snow and Serah were there, along with little Claire. In fact, by the looks of things, Hope and Vanille were there too. A little grin crossed her face. It was almost like being on their Focus again, only without all the horror. Oh, and Sazh was missing, as well, most likely showing Dajh the ropes on one of the transports he owned.

“We’re back!” Fang shouted as she opened the front door. The instant the door was open, Diana and Averia shot past her to go play with their cousin.

“Hey,” Lightning said from her position on the couch, still all wrapped up in blankets. “How did things go?”

“All right, I guess,” Fang said. She glanced back out the door. “I could use a little help with the shopping though.”

Lightning nodded and then glared at Snow. “Well, what are you waiting for? Go help Fang with the shopping!”

Fang grinned. Lightning had to be feeling a fair bit better if she could snap at Snow like that.

Once they’d gotten all of the shopping cleared up, it wasn’t long before they got stuck into the ice cream. With the number of people there, Fang was glad that the girls had ignored her instructions to just get one tub of strawberry and one tub of chocolate and had instead grabbed as many as they could carry.

“I don’t know how you can eat that,” Snow muttered as Lightning devoured a curious mix of strawberry and chocolate ice cream.

“Mind your own business,” Lightning growled. “Besides, everyone knows that strawberry and chocolate ice cream go well together.”

“I guess,” Snow said. “But I prefer strawberry ice cream myself.” He glanced over at Fang. “You wouldn’t happen to have any cherries, would you? I like to have a cherry on top.”

“What are you, a little kid?” Fang said. “If you really want one, there’s some in the kitchen.”

“Oh, wait a second, Snow,” Vanille said. “I’ll go with you.” The red grinned and followed Snow into the kitchen. “I like chocolate, but I don’t mind some strawberry and a cherry on top sounds pretty nice.”

As Snow and Vanille went off to into the kitchen, Serah sighed.

“You didn’t get any vanilla did you?” Serah asked. “I really like strawberry ice cream, but I like vanilla too.”

Fang laughed nervously. “Lightning hates vanilla.”

“Oh.” Serah pouted. “That’s a shame. I think vanilla is really nice.” She looked over at Hope who had just finished his own ice cream. “What about you, Hope?”

Hope nodded. “Strawberry is pretty good, but I probably like vanilla best.” He shot Lightning an apologetic glance.

“Vanilla?” Snow laughed as he came back into the room, a single, deep red cherry on top of his strawberry ice cream. Next to him, Vanille had also added a cherry to the top of her ice cream. “Everybody knows strawberry is the best.” He grinned at Fang whose own glass was filled almost to the brim with strawberry ice cream. “Isn’t that right, Fang?”

Fang chuckled. “I guess strawberry is the best, although I suppose vanilla isn’t all that bad.” She glanced over at the three kids who were, quite happily, mixing their candy into their ice cream. “Although I think they might be on to something there.”

Lightning followed her glance and then frowned. “Fang… where did they get that candy?”

Everyone else was wise enough to take a big step away from Fang.

Fang laughed nervously. “Uh…”

X X X

Author’s Notes

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off this.

I’m not sure exactly what to put here, so I’ll just say whatever comes to mind…

Shopping has always been something of an interesting experience. I remember quite clearly, the agony that my siblings and I put my parents through whenever we went to the supermarket. I won’t say that we employed the dreaded ‘puppy dog eyes’ technique (mainly because none of us were any good at it), but I can say that we were very ‘persuasive’ (by which I mean we complained a lot). Given how ingenious both Fang and Lightning are, I have absolutely no difficulty imagining their children resorting to all manner of underhanded tactics when it comes to the shopping experience.

With regards to Gary the Gorgonopsid, I’m not sure why I decided to include him, let alone mention the rather traumatic incident involving Fang and an unlucky gorgonopsid. If I had to blame anyone, I’d blame Barney the Dinosaur. He is, quite literally, a giant purple monster. For those of you who are curious as to what Gary looks like, imagine a nice, fluffy gorgonopsid that is the most garish orange imaginable. Now imagine that gorgonopsid holding hands with an equally nice and equally friendly Bahamut King with the two of them singing children’s songs beside a gently burning campfire – you now have what is essentially a typical episode of Gary and Friends. 

Now… with regards to the cereal, I just couldn’t resist slipping this in after introducing Mr Snaggles. Seriously, you know that something is popular once it has its own plush toy and cereal. For the record, I would probably go for Odin-Os, although I’m curious to know what each of you would go for. At this point, I would also like to tip my invisible internet hat to Kuma Kuma, author of the hilarious “OtomeO’s” a Mai Hime fanfic that takes the gag that I’ve used for Fang and Lightning involving cereal to an entirely new level (indeed, the entire fanfic is centred around that gag).

Finally, what to make of the last section of the story… the one involving ice cream. I’m not entirely sure if I should explain the meaning behind the flavours (indeed, I’m not sure if it’s even necessary). However, for those of you that don’t quite get the reference (specifically, why Lightning might strongly prefer strawberry and chocolate to vanilla), let me provide the following explanation:

Lightning = Strawberry   
Vanille = Vanilla   
Fang = Chocolate

And Serah? Well… with a big invisible internet hat tip to E. G. Szyslak…

Serah = The cherry on top (or, as I prefer it, strawberry with the cherry on top) 

What then, do our favourite l’Cie’s ice cream preferences have to say about their personal preferences? Hmm…

As a final (this time for real) side note, Hecatonceir is called Mr Grabby due to his rather, well, grabby nature. Really, does he (it?) need so many hands?

If you’ve made it this far (this may well be my longest author’s note yet) thank you for reading and putting up with my rather twisted, and at times bizarrely complicated, sense of humour. With any luck, this chapter actually made sense (in so far as anything involving characters like Gary the Gorgonopsid can make sense).

As always, I appreciate the feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	3. Whispering In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fang and Diana are off to learn some survival skills in the wild. But things aren't easy for Lightning or Averia either. Bad dreams have a way of finding those left alone.

**Whispering in the Dark**

Lightning looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Her years as a soldier meant that she could get to sleep almost anywhere. Yet, somehow, it felt wrong to just try and doze off in the bed that she normally shared with Fang when Fang wasn’t there. Really, that shouldn’t have made that much of a difference. The bed was soft, the sheets were smooth, and even if it had been a couple of days, Fang’s scent still lingered on the pillow that she normally used. Still, it wasn’t the same, she thought as she pulled Fang’s pillow over and pressed her face into it. But how could anything be the same without Fang’s body entwined so closely with hers that it was easy to forget where Fang began and she ended? And how was she supposed to sleep when the only sounds in the room were her own breathing and the gentle rustle of the wind against the windows? And as often as she complained about it, she wanted to nod off to the soft, occasionally louder, rhythmic rumble that Fang continued to deny was a snore. The fact was that this bed wasn’t just hers. It was theirs, and without Fang in it with her, it just wasn’t the same.

Convinced that she wasn’t about to get very much sleep, Lightning got out of bed and padded down the corridor toward the stairs. Her throat was a little dry and downstairs in the fridge was an ice-cold pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice. Yet, as she walked, her footsteps as quiet as ever, she felt her mouth curve into a frown, as she remembered just why Fang wasn’t around.

Apparently, it was Yun custom for five year-old children to spend some time out in the wilderness to learn basic survival skills. Fang had done it with Averia and now she and Vanille had taken Diana out into the wilderness for the weekend. Lightning had wanted to go, had even pointed that technically speaking, Vanille wasn’t a member of the Yun clan. However, Fang had brushed that particular objection aside. After all, other than Fang there really weren’t any other fully-fledged members of the Yun clan, and as a member of the Dia clan, Vanille was ultimately the next best thing. It wasn’t that Lightning begrudged Fang the opportunity to teach their children about their heritage, but she just couldn’t understand why she and Averia couldn’t come along, as well. At least this particular custom didn’t involve Diana having to kill anything, because for all her tough talk, Lightning knew that Diana wouldn’t be able to bring herself to actually kill anything for real. 

Lightning was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost missed the quiet, muffled sounds that came from the room that Averia and Diana shared. As she reached for the door to open it, she couldn’t help but wonder how much longer it would be before the two girls got separate rooms. Just like her and Fang had been very protective of Serah and Vanille, Averia was also very, very protective of Diana. The mere suggestion that the two of them might want separate rooms was met by a furious glare from Averia and no small amount of yelling from Diana.

Slowly, Lightning opened the door and stepped inside the bedroom. For a moment, she stood there, her back to the hallway light, before she shut the door behind her and waited for her eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. Once her eyes had grown accustomed to the long shadows that filled the room, it wasn’t hard for her to identify the source of the sounds she’d heard. It was Averia.

The girl was curled up into a ball in the middle of her bed, her blankets pulled tightly around her and Diana’s pillow clutched closely to her chest. As Lightning watched, a little tremor ran through Averia and she gave a quiet sob and clutched the pillow even harder. Lightning swallowed thickly at the sight and for a moment, she could only stand there and watch, as the ache in her own chest grew almost unbearably painful. Just the sight of Averia in pain made Lightning hurt and before she knew it, she was sitting on the side of Averia’s bed, one of her hands running gently through her daughter’s hair as she made soft, nonsensical sounds of comfort.

“Mom?” Averia murmured, though she made no effort to turn and face Lightning, preferring it seemed, to bury her face in Diana’s pillow. “Why are you here?”

Lightning’s hands continued to move through Averia’s hair and across her back, kind, yet firm. “I heard you from outside.” As gently as she could, she reached over to loosen Averia’s grip on Diana’s pillow. If Averia held it any tighter, she’d probably rip the pillowcase and then Diana would throw a fit. After all, Vanille had made it just for her and it had both Bahamut and Odin on it. “Why were you crying?”

“I wasn’t crying!” Averia growled, although the hitch in her voice suggested otherwise. “I wasn’t!”

“Averia,” Lightning murmured as she swung her legs up onto the bed, no easy task given her height and the relatively small size of the bed. “Averia, look at me.” And before her daughter could even think of complaining, Lightning scooped her up, blankets and all, to cradle her in her arms.

“I’m telling you, mom, I wasn’t crying,” Averia insisted, but when Lightning gently, very gently, took her chin in one hand and turned it toward her, it easy enough to see the silvery tracks of fresh tears in the pale, shallow moonlight that wafted in through the window. “Well… maybe just a little.”

Lightning pressed a kiss to Averia’s forehead and then hugged her daughter to her chest. Averia was like her, maybe too much like her, and she knew that it would be easier for Averia to talk if she didn’t have to look Lightning in the eye. Like so many children, Averia wanted to be older than she was, and somewhere along the line, she’d picked up the idea that it was wrong to cry, that tears were always a sign of weakness. “Why were you crying?” Lightning whispered, her voice strangely loud in the near silence of the shadow-draped bedroom.

A long, long moment passed before Averia finally replied, and when she did, Lightning had to strain to make out the words, spoken as they were into her collar as Averia cuddled closer. “I had a bad dream.” Averia sniffled. “It’s stupid… I’m supposed to be a big girl now and… and I cried because of a stupid bad dream.” 

“Averia,” Lightning said softly, but firmly as she eased away just far enough for her to meet Averia’s gaze. How green her daughter’s eyes were. How proud and fierce even with the glitter of tears in them. How very, very much like Fang’s. No matter how many years passed, she realised, or how big a girl Averia became, she would, always and forever, be Lightning’s little girl. “Being a big girl doesn’t mean that you can’t ever cry and bad dreams can make anyone cry if they are bad enough.”

“I bet you never cry,” Averia said as she tightened her hold on Lightning just a little. “ You’re big and strong and… and nothing could ever make you cry.”

“You’d be surprised,” Lightning murmured. “You’d be surprised.” 

“What?” Averia stuttered. “But… but what could you dream about that could make you cry, mom?”

For a moment, Lightning wondered whether it would be all right to tell Averia, but in the end, she decided that Averia was old enough to know that her parents weren’t invincible, that like her, there were things that could make them laugh, or even cry. “Before you were born, Averia, right after Cocoon fell, I used to dream that your mommy was somewhere far, far away, a place so far that no matter how long I ran, or how fast, I’d never be able to reach her. I dreamt that I’d never see her again.” Lightning dragged in a deep, deep breath and then pressed on. “That dream made me cry because I love your mommy very, very much, and the thought that I’d never see her again, never be able to be with her again…” she trailed off. “Now… Averia, what did you dream about?”

Averia’s shoulder shook and Lightning rubbed her back and pulled her closer to try and soothe her. Whatever her daughter had dreamed about, it had to be quite something, because Averia was not someone who got scared easily. She was brave, much braver than Lightning had been at her age. “I… I dreamed that something bad happened to mommy and Diana.”

Lightning closed her eyes as she felt that tightness in her chest again and for a second it was hard to breathe. She should have thought of that sooner. Averia had always been so attached to the other members of their family and just like Lightning and Fang, she saw it as her responsibility to look after all of them, especially Diana. With Fang and Diana gone for the weekend, Averia had probably come up with any number of horrible things that could have happened to them.

“I dreamed that they were out on the Steppe,” Averia said, the words coming quickly now, all but spilling out in a half-mumbled torrent as the dream flooded back to her, the horror of it bright in her emerald eyes as she looked to Lightning for support. “There… there was a monster and it snuck up on mommy… and… and…” Averia had to force herself to say the next words, as if she was afraid that just saying them would make them come true. “The… the monster got mommy and then it went after Diana and… and Diana tried to get away… but she’s so little, you know… so little and the monster was so big and it got her and… and all I could was watch!” The last few words came out as a wail. “I tried to tell them that the monster was coming and then… and then I tried to help Diana, but I couldn’t. I yelled and I yelled, but they just couldn’t hear me and then I tried to get to Diana, but I couldn’t move and… and all I could do was watch.” Averia sobbed into Lightning’s chest. “All I could do was watch…”

Tears gathered at the corners of Lightning’s eyes, but she blinked them back and pulled Averia closer. Softly, she began to rock her daughter back and forth until Averia’s sobs finally subsided into soft, fragile, little whimpers. Lightning knew all too well what dreams like that felt like. She’d had them growing up and it was only through a combination of good luck and hard work that she’d been able to hide them from Serah. She’d gotten them during her journey with the others too, her nights filled with countless variations of her failure to look after Serah. Fang had woken her from her dreams once, but instead of making fun of her, or even just shrugging it off, Fang had taken Lightning’s hands in hers and held them until the shaking stopped. Fang hadn’t just cared – she’d understood.

“It was just a dream, Averia,” Lightning said at last. “You know that, don’t you?”

“I know,” Averia said miserably. “I know it was just a dream, but what if something like that really does happen?” She looked up at Lightning again, eyes wide and pleading. “We don’t know what’s happening to them right now, do we? And… and what if I’m at school or something and Diana gets into trouble and I’m not around to help her, or what if mommy goes on another trip… and… and…”

“Shhh,” Lightning cut Averia off before the girl could work herself into another jag of terrified weeping. “It’s going to be okay,” she said softly. “They’ll come back fine, you’ll see.”

“But we don’t know that, do we?” Averia cried. “Accidents happen all the time and Diana’s always getting into trouble and…” she closed her eyes and looked away. “You probably think I’m being silly. You’re always so brave… I bet you’re not afraid of anything.”

Lightning sighed. Not afraid of anything? Hardly. “You know, Averia, this is just like with crying. There are things that even I’m afraid of.”

Averia’s eyes widened and had the situation been any less serious, Lightning might have laughed. It was like she’d suggested that the sky wasn’t blue, or that the sun and the moon didn’t exist. In a way, it was nice that her children thought she was fearless, but Averia needed to know that it wasn’t wrong to be afraid. “But… but you’re… you’re mom,” Averia said. “You’re not afraid of anything.”

“Well, that’s not exactly true,” Lightning said, her voice soft and addressed as much to Averia as the semi-somnolent dark around them. The memories, as always, came almost without being asked. “When my parents died, and it was just me and your Aunt Serah, I used to be afraid that I wasn’t going to be good enough for her, that somehow I’d let her down. I was the only one she had and I was so, so afraid that I’d mess it up.” And despite everything that had happened since those days, it still hurt to know that in the end that fear had gotten to her and she had messed up. “And then… when you and Diana were born, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be a good mother. I’d messed up with your Aunt Serah and I was afraid that I’d mess up with you two.” She buried her face in Averia’s hair. “I don’t ever, ever want to let you or your sister down.”

“You haven’t!” Averia cried. “You’re a great mom! A really great mom!”

Lightning laughed softly and reached up as discretely as she could to wipe some of the moisture from the corner of her eye. “I’m glad you think so.”

“But… but if you were afraid of all those things, how did you keep going?” Averia asked softly. “How could you keep going if you were afraid?”

Lightning looked down into her daughter’s eyes and she knew, somehow, she just knew that what she said next would matter, that it would be something that her daughter would hold onto through all the long and winding years of growing up. It would be something that her daughter would look back on, would whisper to herself on all the nights when the shadows seemed too dark and the silences too deep. And so rather than say anything at once, Lightning thought, her eyes closed as she searched for the right words.

“Being strong doesn’t mean that you’re never afraid,” Lightning said at last, her voice warm and firm and wise with the wisdom that only years of struggle could provide. “No, being strong is doing what you need to do even though you’re afraid.” Her eyes shimmered in the dark, twin pools of cerulean effulgence. “There are going to be times, Averia, when you wonder if you’re strong enough, if you’re tough enough, if you’re brave enough, and what you need to do when those times come is give everything you have. You need to push past all the fear and doubt and pain because there are people that matter, people that make all that fear and doubt and pain worth it. Those people, Averia, will keep you warm when you’re so cold that you can barely think straight, will help you stand back up when you don’t think that you can even move.”

“But what if I’m not strong enough?” Averia asked. “What if… what if one day Diana needs me, or you or mommy need me and I’m not good enough? What do I do then?”

Really, Lightning though, Averia was too much like her. “Then you get stronger, Averia.” She smiled, and it was a bittersweet smile. “And if the first time you find that you aren’t strong enough, then you get stronger and you try again. And if that doesn’t work then you get stronger and you try again and you keep trying and you keep getting stronger until the day that you are strong enough.”

Averia looked up at Lightning, her lips trembling slightly. “If… if I do that, does that mean that I’ll be able to look after everyone? That I can make sure that nothing bad ever happens?”

Again, Lightning felt tightness in her chest, a clamp around her heart that made her think of another girl so many years ago who had sworn that nothing bad would ever happen to the people she loved again, that she’d become so strong that no one could ever hurt her or the people she cared about. “Averia, you can’t protect everyone from everything. Not even me or your mommy can do that.”

“But I can try, right?” Averia said, as she tugged at Lightning’s arm. “I can try really, really hard, can’t I?”

Lightning smiled and pressed her forehead against her daughter’s. “You can try, Averia, you can definitely try.” 

“Then I will,” Averia said. “I’ll try as hard as I can.”

After that, Averia fell silent and for a few minutes, Lightning stayed there, holding her and rocking her. “Averia,” Lightning said. “How about you come sleep in my bed?”

Averia cuddled closer to Lightning and shook her head. “No… I… I’ll be fine.”

Lightning sighed. Averia’s tears had stopped and she was calmer now, but it was easy to see that she was still badly shaken. “Well then, how about I sleep here with you? It’s a little lonely in my bed without your mommy there.”

Averia stiffened in surprised. “Oh… I guess that’s okay.”

Lightning chuckled. Averia would never ask for her help, but at least she’d take it when it was offered.

“You know,” Lightning murmured as Averia stilled and began to drift off. “You don’t have to do everything yourself. We’re a family, Averia, and that means that we look out for each other. Whatever you do, what happens, we’ll be there with you. We’ll look after you just as much as you look after us.”

Averia nodded sleepily. “I know, mom.”

“Good,” Lightning said. “Now go to sleep and this time, I want you to dream of something better.” She pressed a kiss onto Averia’s forehead. “Good night, Averia.”

Later, much later, Lighting was still awake. Her eyes wandered to the moon that shone through the window. Was Fang looking up at the moon, as well? Were they thinking the same thing? She closed her eyes, a small smile on her face. There were times when she still wondered if she was good enough for her children, if she’d be able to do the right thing by them. But right now, with Averia curled up against her breathing soft and slow and easy, Lightning found it difficult to worry. She’d just have to do the best she could and maybe she would make a few mistakes along the way, but between her and Fang, there was no way their children could end up anything but wonderful.

X X X

Fang grinned and reached behind her back to pat Diana on the back. The girl had snagged a piggyback on her back and had slung her arms around Fang’s neck. “Be really quiet, okay,” Fang said as she opened the front door of their house. “We’re going to sneak in and give your mom and Averia a big surprise.”

Diana giggled and smirked evilly. “Okay, but if we get into trouble, I’m blaming you.”

Fang chuckled and bopped Diana lightly on the head. “That’s not going to work, kiddo. Your mom’s really smart, she’ll know it was both of us and we’ll both get punished.” Although, Fang thought, after a whole weekend without Lightning around, Fang wouldn’t mind a bit of ‘punishment’.

However, when they crept into the bedroom that she shared with Lightning, Fang was a little surprised to find that the other woman wasn’t there. Still, she wasn’t worried. Knowing Lightning, she’d probably gone to check in on Averia and ended up staying the night in the girls’ room. Just like her, Lightning had a tendency to be a tad – okay, a bit more than a tad – overprotective.

Sure enough, when she opened the door, Lightning was there. However, rather than sitting on one of the chairs, the pink haired woman was sharing a bed with Averia. It was, all things considered, quite a sight. The bed was far too small for both of them and Lightning had been forced to curl up rather awkwardly with Averia cradled against her. For a moment, Fang wondered what had prompted Lightning to climb into bed beside Averia, but then she noticed that Averia had Diana’s pillow clutched against her chest.

Ah, that explained it.

Averia must have missed Diana a lot while they were gone, and to be fair, Diana had missed her a lot too. That was why Fang had been very careful to keep Diana occupied, teaching her all about the plants and things that she needed to watch out for in the wilderness, along with how to find water and that sort of thing. Diana might not be able to hunt yet, but after their trip, Fang was certain that her little girl would be able to survive if they got separated in the wild long enough for Fang to find her again.

“They look weird,” Diana said, still on Fang’s back. “Mom’s too big to fit in the bed with Averia.”

“Yes, she is,” Fang said. “But make sure you say that she’s too tall. Calling her too big might give her the wrong idea.” A smirk crossed her lips as an idea came to mind. “How about you go wake them up?”

Diana’s eyes twinkled. “Okay.”

Still smirking, Fang lowered Diana onto the bed and watched as she crept over until her face was level with Averia’s.

“Boo!” Diana shouted as loud as she could.

The result was instantaneous. Lightning and Averia shot up with near identical looks of surprise. A split-second later, a pillow was headed Fang’s way as Lightning grabbed Averia and rolled out of bed and readied herself to deal with any kind of attack. Seemingly oblivious to the trouble that she was about to be in, Diana was rolling around on the bed laughing her head off and it was only Fang’s keen sense of self-preservation that stopped her from joining in.

“Fang, don’t do that,” Lightning growled as she lowered the lamp she had snatched up to use as a club.

“Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself,” Fang said, as she put her hands up in mock surrender. “Besides, it was all Diana’s idea, anyway.”

“Mommy!” Diana wailed. “It was not my idea it was all your –”

Diana was cut off mid-sentence as Averia jumped onto the bed and pulled her into a headlock. “Don’t ever wake me up like that again,” Averia growled.

As the two girls rolled around on the bed, Fang couldn’t help but notice that Averia wasn’t putting in the usual amount of effort she usually did when it came to strangling Diana. 

“What happened?” Fang asked, confident that the two girls were too caught in their struggle to take notice of anything else.

“She had a bad dream,” Lightning said as a dark look crossed her features.

“Ah.” Fang didn’t even need to ask what kind of bad dream it was. Between the look on Lightning’s face and the way that Averia was acting, it wasn’t hard to work out. 

“Okay,” Lightning said as she stepped forward and pried the two girls apart. “Enough fighting. Now, how about we have some breakfast? I’ll make some pancakes and Diana and mommy can tell us all about their trip.”

“Yay!” Diana cheered as she jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. “Pancakes!”

“Stop running,” Averia shouted, only a few steps behind her sister. “You’ll fall down the stairs.”

Alone in the room, Fang pulled Lightning into an embrace. “Miss me?” 

Lightning rolled her eyes. “Come on, Fang,” she said as she pulled away, smiling slightly as Fang pouted. “I need to get breakfast started.” Just as she reached the door, she stopped and turned. “But yes, Fang, I did miss you.” Then she smirked and Fang felt her heart skip a beat. Lightning looked far, far too good smirking. “But I’ll bet you missed me more.”

X X X

**Author’s Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off this.

So… this chapter was a little bit different from the others (and hopefully in a good way). For one, the tone is a little more serious, but that is largely, I think, a result of the subject matter. On the subject of subject matter, I would like to tip my invisible internet hat to ElissaCousland and the other people who posted on the thread about Lightning’s fears on the Fang x Lightning forum. This chapter was written after reading through some of the responses there, and so I’d like to give credit where credit is due. The second thing that makes this chapter a little different from the others is the kind of language used. In particular, the language that Lightning used in the first section of this chapter has a different tone and texture, if you like, than the language used when Fang is the focus of the chapter. This is partly because Lightning is different from Fang, but also because it’s the middle of the night. People tend to think differently then, and I wanted to go for something that captures some of that middle of the night feeling.

On another note, if you want to know about the content of this chapter, I strongly encourage you to read through the discussion on the Fang x Lightning forum about Lightning’s fears. I would also like to advocate, once again, for a change from Flight as our acronym for Fang x Lightning, to a new acronym. Specifically, I’m advocating that we all switch to Clang (Claire x Fang = Clang), as I believe it is far more humorous and emulates the sound made when Lightning, inevitably, whacks Fang over the head with a frying pan. I had also considered Caang, but that was just a little too weird, even for me.

More seriously, however, it is not uncommon for children to have the issues that Averia has. In particular, many children struggle with the ideas of certainty and fairness. Children want to believe that it is possible to control everything, that, so long as they are good or do good things, bad things will not happen (this is termed the ‘just world’ fallacy, i.e., that good thing happen to good people and that bad things happen to bad people, when in fact, bad things can happen to good people and similarly, good things can happen to bad people). As a result, children may struggle to deal with the idea that things can happen that we can’t control, and often the thought of that terrifies them. This is particularly true when it comes to how children feel about their primary caregiver. For example, if you are a fireman and your child sees a news report about firemen getting hurt, they will most likely freak out about you getting hurt, regardless of any statistics or information that you provide them with. Of course, there are adults who struggle with this issue, as well, so we should probably cut children some slack in this regard. In any case, I just wanted to make the point that what Averia worries about is not actually that unusual, although it is likely exaggerated by her protective feelings toward her family.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	4. Of Grandfathers And Chocobos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to pay the chocobo ranch a visit! Waiting for the Yun-Farron family are everyone's favourite grandpa (Sazh) and everyone's favourite chocobo (Chirpy). There's nothing quite like a day in the saddle, and there's never been a chocobo quite like Chirpy.

**Of Grandfathers and Chocobos**

“Come on, mom! Hurry up!” Diana cried as she grabbed Lightning’s hand and tried to pull the pink haired woman along. Needless to say, however, the disparity in size made her efforts quite pointless. That didn’t stop her from trying though. “Come on, we need to hurry up!”

Fang chuckled and tossed an amused look Lightning way. “She’s pretty excited about this, isn’t she?”

“Isn’t she always?” Lightning nodded and then glanced over at Averia who was holding Fang’s hand. The older of their two daughters didn’t look quite as enthusiastic as Diana, but there was no mistaking the excited gleam in Averia’s eyes. “In fact, I think they’ve both been looking forward to this quite a lot.” A hint of a smile crossed her lips. “Averia was up at the crack of dawn getting ready.”

Averia scowled. She was certain she’d been quiet enough for no one to notice. “Well, it’s just that it’s been ages since we’ve seen Uncle Sazh.”

Pausing for a moment in her attempts to drag Lightning along, Diana looked ahead and then let out a happy cry. Sazh was there, the dark-skinned man looking quite comfortable on a bench not too far from a pen full of chocobos.

“Grandpa!” Diana screamed as she ran over and hurled herself at Sazh.

Sazh managed to get up in time to catch her and he sighed good-naturedly as he reached down to ruffle her hair. “It’s nice to see you too, Diana, but what have I told you about calling me grandpa?”

Diana pulled back a little and gave him a puzzled look. “But you’re old…” She squinted and pursed her lips before she gave a firm nod. “Yep, you’re definitely older than mom and mommy, so that makes you a grandpa.”

“That’s not how it works,” Averia said as she came over to give Sazh a hug, as well. “And Uncle Sazh isn’t that old.”

Sazh grinned and patted Averia on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit, Averia. I might not be as young as those parents of yours, but I’m not that old.” He poked Diana in the cheek prompting an outraged cry from the girl. “Now, how about you follow your sister, Diana, and call me Uncle Sazh instead.”

Diana pouted. “Nope, you’re Granpda Sazh.” She turned and pointed at Fang. “After the last time, I even asked mommy and she said that’s what I was supposed to call you.”

Sazh looked over Diana’s head at Fang who had a smirk on her face. Honestly, he should have known. “Fang…”

“Hey, what can I say?” Fang grinned. “I think ‘grandpa’ suits you pretty nicely – ouch!”

Lightning lowered her hand and inclined her head at Sazh. “It’s nice to see you again, Sazh.” She sighed. “I have tried to get Diana to call you uncle, but Fang got to her first.” She glanced sideways at Fang who was rubbing the back of her head. “What?”

“You didn’t have to whack me over the head,” Fang said. The blow hadn’t really hurt - when Lightning hit someone for real they either ended up with something broken or unconscious – but that didn’t mean Fang wouldn’t complain about it. If she was lucky, she might even be able to convince Lightning to kiss it better later.

Lightning looked distinctly unimpressed. “Actually, yes. I did.”

Sazh laughed at the look of mock hurt on Fang’s face. “You two haven’t changed a bit.” He looked back at the two kids. “How about you two go see Chirpy now? It’s been a while since you’ve seen him and I know he’s missed you.”

Diana nodded eagerly and ran past Sazh toward the chocobo pen. Averia watched her and managed to keep to a walk for all of three steps before she also broke into a run. The three adults watched them go, content to move at a more sedate pace.

“So, how have you been doing, Sazh?” Fang asked.

Sazh shrugged. “I’ve been keeping busy. Dajh is getting old enough now that he’s been thinking about leaving his old man behind and striking out on his own.” He chuckled. “If you ask me though, he’s still got a few years to go, and I’m not letting him go anywhere until he finishes getting his engineering degree. He might be doing it by correspondence, but if I let him go off on his own, he’ll just stick to flying rather than worrying about all the assignments and coursework he has to do.”

“He’s still asking for a ship of his own then?” Lightning asked.

Sazh nodded. “Only everyday, but like I said, he’s still a couple of years too young for that. Once he’s got his degree done and he’s got a bit more flying time under his belt, I won’t mind him flying out on his own, but right now he still likes to mess around just a little too much for me to be comfortable with letting him go off on his own.” He sighed heavily. “Makes me feel a little old, thinking about this kind of thing.”

Fang grinned. “Hah! So, you admit it?”

Whack.

“Damn it,” Fang growled as she glared at Lightning. “What was that for?”

Lightning smirked back. “I think you know.” She rolled her eyes as Fang clutched at her head and gave her an absolutely pitiful look. “Oh, come on. Diana hits you harder than that when the two of you are playing around.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Fang whined as she looked at Sazh for support. She didn’t get any. “I think you gave me a concussion.”

Lightning sighed. “Don’t be such a little kid, Fang.” Fang gave her another pitiful look and she closed her eyes. Fang was a little too persuasive when she pouted like that. “What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?”

Fang brightened immediately. “Would you?”

Sazh coughed and stepped between them. “Now, hold it right there. I know how the two of you get.” Fang smirked and Lightning looked away. “Nobody is kissing anybody. There are children around and you two don’t know the meaning of self-control when it comes to each other.” He pointed up ahead to the chocobo pen. “And speaking of children, maybe we should get a move on before those two get up to something crazy again.”

“You mean like punching a chocobo?” Fang asked. 

Sazh nodded. “Exactly.” He made an exasperated sound. “I still can’t believe that Averia punched a chocobo.”

“Apparently, it was looking at Diana funny,” Fang said. “So she whacked it over the head when it leaned down.”

“She’s just lucky it didn’t whack her back,” Lightning muttered. They might be laughing about it now, but she’d almost had a heart attack when it had actually happened. An adult chocobo was no joke. All it would have taken was one hard peck or kick and Averia would have been in all kinds of trouble. “But I don’t think she’ll do that again. We gave her a pretty good lecture about why that wasn’t a good idea.”

“Well, that’s good then.” Sazh gave Lightning a smug look. “But it must run in the family. I remember a certain someone who looked like she was about to punch a chocobo too, the last time you were here.”

Lightning folded her arms over her chest. “That was different, Sazh. That chocobo was about to attack Diana.”

Fang laughed. “Lightning, are you serious? That thing was smaller than she was. It couldn’t have hurt her if it tried.”

Lightning scowled. “Oh, as if you weren’t about to run over there yourself, Fang.”

As Lightning and Fang continued to bicker, Sazh slowed his pace a fraction so that he could hang back and watch. It was nice to know that no matter how much some things changed, there were others that stayed the same. Fang and Lightning had been arguing for as long as he’d known them and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that they’d keep right on arguing for the rest of their lives. It just wouldn’t be the same otherwise.

A gentle wind rustled past and Sazh let out a sigh of contentment. In the years since Cocoon had gone down, he’d done pretty well for himself, they all had. People and things needed to be able to get from one place to another and Sazh had been more than happy to provide that service – and for a pretty reasonable price too. It didn’t hurt either, that right after Cocoon had fallen, he’d been one of the few people who actually knew anything about Gran Pulse. That had been a pretty big advantage to start off with and he’d leveraged that to set up what was now one of the largest, most successful transport companies on Gran Pulse.

That was how he’d been able to afford the ranch out near the Edge of New Bodhum. It was a nice place with more than enough room to keep a decent sized flock of chocobo. He and Dajh might not be around all that much – they both loved flying too much to spend all their time on the ground – but that was why he’d set the place up so that it could run as an actual ranch complete with its own staff while they were gone.

“Look at those two,” Fang said as she pointed ahead to the chocobo pen. “They do this every time.”

Up ahead, Diana and Averia had just reached the chocobo pen. The two of them scaled the fence like it wasn’t even there and it wasn’t long before one of the big, yellow birds broke away from the others and ambled over. It stopped just shy of the pair and gave a loud, happy ‘kweh’ before it leaned in close to nuzzle first Diana and then Averia. 

“It’s hard to believe that Chirpy there used to fit in your hair, Sazh,” Fang murmured before her lips curled into a smile. “Do you think he still can?”

Sazh laughed and shook his head. “Are you kidding me? Look at him. He’s bigger than I am now.” He glanced back at the kids. “What are they doing?”

Inside the pen, Chirpy had taken a few steps back. He looked at the girls. They looked back. He tilted his head to one side. They tilted their heads to one side. He narrowed his eyes at them. They narrowed their eyes right back. Finally, he went ‘kweh’ and flapped his wings. The girls went ‘kweh’ and waved their arms around. Then the two girls burst out laughing as Chirpy let out several happy squawks of amusement.

“Okay,” Sazh said with a slow shake of his head. “Am I the only one who finds that just a little bit creepy?”

Fang grinned. “Creepy? That’s one of the more normal things they’ve done this week.” A smug look crossed her face. “Besides, members of the Yun clan have always had a way with animals.”

Lightning gave her a clearly sceptical look. “So, that’s why a bunch of gorgonopsids tried to claw your face off last week?”

Fang scowled. “That’s different. Those things are evil, vicious creatures.” She lowered her voice. “But don’t tell Diana I said that.”

Sazh chuckled. “I’m guessing she still likes that Gary the Gorgonopsid show then?”

Fang shuddered. “I’m hoping she grows out of it soon, although knowing my luck they’ll come up with some ‘Harold the Friendly Behemoth King’ show or something.”

Back in the pen, Chirpy had knelt down and the two girls scrambled to climb up onto his back. They knew the rules about trying to ride chocobos on their own, but Chirpy was different, everyone said so. 

“Are they going to be okay in there?” Lightning asked. It wasn’t Chirpy. She trusted him well enough, but if even one of those other chocobos tried anything… 

Sazh patted her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, they’ll be fine. Chirpy will look after them and those are the chocobos we rent out to beginners, so they’re all pretty friendly.” The three of them reached the fence and watched as Chirpy took Averia and Diana on a trip around the pen. A couple of the other chocobos gave the girls some curious looks, but they seemed content enough to leave them be. “I know how much you love that velocycle of yours, Lightning, but you have to admit, there’s something different – in a good way – about riding a chocobo.” He smiled faintly and gestured vaguely at the rest of the ranch around them. “You’d be surprised just how much money we make renting out chocobos for people to ride. Besides, both Dajh and I kind of have a soft spot for them.”

And then, almost as if he’d heart his name, Dajh came out of one of the nearby buildings. The boy – young man, really – broke into an easy smile the moment he caught sight of them.

“Hi,” Dajh said as he came over to stand beside them. 

Fang watched and bit back the urge to laugh as Dajh took what he must have thought was a discrete look around. Most likely, the young man was looking around for Vanille. It was pretty cute the way that he’d developed a crush on the red head. Of course, it helped that it gave Fang something nice to tease Vanille about, especially since Vanille had teased both her and Lightning pretty heavily when they’d been trying to sort out their own feelings for each other. Not that she thought Vanille actually liked Dajh that way. Even if Dajh hadn’t been too young, there was already someone that Vanille had her eye on and Fang was looking forward to the day when the person in question would come to her looking for approval. She could then proceed to scare them witless. She grinned. Oh, she was definitely looking forward to that, although Lightning probably wouldn’t approve too much.

“Nice to see you again, Aunt Lighting, Aunt Fang.” Dajh looked around again, more obviously this time. “Uh… are any of the others here today?”

Fang shook her head. “No, it’s just us today.” She hid a smile at his crestfallen look and clapped him over the shoulders. “But don’t worry, Dajh. Everyone knows that you two just got back yesterday, so I’m sure they’ll all drop by soon enough.” She made a show of thinking very hard. “In fact, I think Vanille has some free time tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll come around.” She ignored Lightning’s scowl and the warning look from Sazh. “Anyway, your old man here was just telling me that you’ve been thinking of getting out on your own.”

Dajh nodded. “Well, I’m not a little kid anymore, you know?” He laughed lightly at his father’s exasperated look. “But I guess he is right about my not being completely ready for it yet.” He pointed up at the sky. “Up there, you only get one chance, so it would probably be better to wait until I’m sure that I can handle it.” He shot Fang a slightly pleading look. “But maybe, if you talked with my dad then…”

Fang chuckled as Sazh shot her glare. “Sorry, kid, but this is something you’ll have to work out with your old man.” Sazh’s glare morphed into a sunny smile. “Besides, I’m probably not the best person to ask about flying anyway.” She paused. “After all, I don’t exactly go flying the same way you do.” Or anyone did, for that matter, given how rare big metallic dragons were. 

Dajh sighed. “I suppose you’re right.” He looked at Sazh. “How about I let Chirpy out of the pen? They’ve got lunch ready inside, but we could take it out, maybe have lunch over there.” He pointed to a clump of trees out on a nearby hill.

Sazh nodded. It was a nice day to be outside, warm, but not hot. “That’s a good idea.” He grinned as Chirpy turned and ran over to the side of the fence where Dajh was, the two girls on his back holding on for dear life as he leapt and cleared the fence in one easy jump. “Well, it looks like Chirpy heard you, son.” 

X X X

The group of them took some baskets of food and headed out over to the clump of trees on the hill. The climb aside, it was a good spot with a nice view over the whole ranch. As they settled down to eat, the older members of the group were content to talk over a few things, mostly current events, and in the case of Dajh, future plans.

However, Diana and Averia spent almost all of lunch next to Chirpy. As they ate, the pair talked to Chirpy about everything that had happened since the last time they’d seen him. For his part, the chocobo was pretty pleased to have them around. Not only were Diana and Averia the chicks, so to speak, of two people that he liked quite a lot – although Lightning could be quite scary, even to him – they always had plenty of treats too. Today was no different and he found himself hard pressed to keep up with the steady stream of treats headed his way.

“I swear, those two are going to make him fat,” Sazh muttered as Diana slipped Chirpy yet another treat.

Dajh grinned. “I don’t think that’s too likely. After all, he gets plenty of exercise carrying us around whenever we’re here.”

Sazh frowned. “Are you calling me fat, son?”

Dajh looked away innocently. “Your words not mine.”

“Still, I do kind of wish that he could still fit in my hair,” Sazh said. “It was pretty nice having him around all the time.”

Dajh nodded. “We’d be able to bring him with us whenever we went flying. As it is, he can’t even fit into the cockpit.”

“Wait!” Diana shouted as she stopped midway through an attempt to climb onto Chirpy’s back. “Is that true? Did Chirpy really used to fit in your hair, grandpa?”

Sazh’s eyes twitched at the use of ‘grandpa’ and he shot Dajh a quick look to cut off the laughter that he knew was coming. “Remember what we talked about, Diana? Call me Uncle Sazh. But to answer your question, yes, back when your parents and I were on our journey, Chirpy really did spend most of his time in my hair.”

“Wow.” Diana’s eyes were filled with awe. “Grandpa… you must have the strongest neck ever.”

The others burst out laughing and Averia walked over to give Diana a light bonk over the head.

“Diana,” Averia said. “Chirpy wasn’t always as big as he is now. Remember? We’ve seen chocobo chicks before and they’re really little.”

Diana nodded and then looked at Fang. “Mommy,” she said as she pointed at her sister. “Averia hit me.”

See,” Fang said to Lightning. “Your violent tendencies have begun to corrupt our children – ouch!”

Lightning lowered her hand and looked sternly at Averia. “Don’t hit your sister, Averia.”

“But you just hit mommy,” Averia protested.

Lightning smiled. “That’s different.” She paused and shot Fang an amused look. “Your mommy is a masochist.” Sazh burst out laughing as a deep blush covered Dajh’s face. Lightning and Fang might be like aunts to the young man, but the thought of Fang being a masochist was one that took his mind places it probably shouldn’t be.

Averia frowned. “So, does that mean she likes it when you hit her?”

Lightning’s eyes widened. “Wait, how did you know what that means?”

“I read it some place,” Averia said slowly.

“I see.” Lightning resolved then and there to pay closer attention to just what Averia read in her spare time. Averia was smart and if she was anywhere near as curious as Serah and Lightning had been at her age, then she was probably snooping around for anything she could read, even if she knew that she wasn’t supposed to.

“Don’t listen to your mom,” Fang said as she swooned dramatically to land in Lightning’s lap. “Your mom bullies me all the time.” She sighed. “She’s horribly mean.”

“Just ignore her,” Sazh told the two girls. “Your mommy is just fishing for sympathy.” He looked at Fang. “Now, get up, otherwise Lightning might shove you off her lap and then you really will end up with a bruise.”

“Spoilsport,” Fang muttered.

“Anyway, Diana,” Sazh said as he wondered, not for the first time, how he’d ended up with such strange people for friends. For that matter, how had Dajh managed to turn out pretty much normal when NORA and the other former l’Cie had played such a big role in his upbringing? “Your sister is right. Back when I got Chirpy, he was about the size of my fist.”

Diana walked back to Chirpy and gave him a pat on the head. “Wow, you sure got big didn’t you?” She grinned. “You’re so lucky.” And she meant it too. Diana had really started to get a bit sick of being smaller than her sister and Claire. However, no matter how much milk she drank, she hadn’t managed to close the gap at all. In fact, she was starting to wonder if maybe her mom had lied to her about milk making her taller. It didn’t help much either, that her mommy found the whole thing funny. But, of course, she would. Her mommy was taller than lots of people, so she probably didn’t know what it felt like to be little. At least Aunt Serah and Aunt Vanille understood how it felt to be shorter than their sister.

“Mom,” Averia said. “Can we get a chocobo?”

Diana’s eyes lit up. “Can we? We’d take really good care of it and we’d walk it every day.”

Lightning shared a look with Fang and sighed. She’d really been hoping that her daughters wouldn’t ask for that. She hated telling them no – even if it was something she did on regular basis – but they just weren’t ready for that kind of responsibility yet, not when she and Fang were out of the house so often. A chocobo also needed wide, open spaces and although their front lawn and backyard were more than big enough for a couple of kids, they were not going to be big enough to take care of a chocobo properly once it grew a bit bigger.

“No,” Lightning said.

“But, mom, Dajh got one when he was little.” Diana pointed at Dajh who did his best to make himself as small a target as possible.

“And when it got bigger, you wouldn’t have to drive us around anymore,” Averia added. “We’d be able to ride it wherever we wanted to go.”

Lightning felt the beginnings of a headache and turned away before her kids could begin to apply their not inconsiderable cuteness to the task of persuading her. However, what really bothered her was the though of her children driving. If they were anything like her or Fang, there was no way she’d let them take her velocycle or her car out. No, they’d start off on something else, something a lot slower and less expensive that wouldn’t go fast enough to kill them if they crashed. “Look, we’ll talk about this later.”

“But mom…”

“Hey,” Fang said. “Stop complaining, you two.” She reached forward to poke both of them on the nose. “A pet isn’t something that you should take lightly. It’s a real, living thing and if you can’t take care of it, you really shouldn’t get it in the first place.” The two girls sobered for a moment, most likely remembering the pet rock they’d tried to keep the previous year. To this day, Fang still didn’t know how they’d managed to break it. It was made of rock, for crying out loud. “But, I’ll tell you what, you’ve both been very good this week, so maybe we could go for a ride today, that is if Sazh says it’s okay.”

“Grandpa!” Diana cried. “Can we go? Can we?”

Sazh looked up at the sky. It really was a good day with just a couple of wispy white clouds and a whole lot of sunshine. “I don’t see why not.” He glanced at Dajh. “You up for a ride?”

Dajh smiled at Chirpy who nodded back. Clearly, the chocobo was looking forward to riding about just like old times. “Definitely.”

“Good.” Sazh stood and dusted himself off. “I guess the best thing to do would be to head back down to the ranch. We can pick out a couple of chocobos for you and Lightning, Fang.” Dajh can take Chirpy out and I’ll pick out another for myself.” He paused. “Or do you want to let the kids have a ride on their own chocobos?”

Lightning and Fang winced almost together and then shook their heads. They both knew how that would go. Diana would, without a doubt, try to go as fast as she possibly could on her chocobo, which definitely wouldn’t end well. Averia would probably manage to stick to the rules for a while, at least until she got sick of going slow and tried to see just how fast she could go. Honestly, their kids loved the thrill of going fast every bit as much as they did, maybe more. 

“I think they can ride with us,” Lightning said at last.

“Yep, that’d probably be for the best.” Fang pursed her lips. “But I suppose they could probably take a turn in charge for a bit if we were riding with them.”

Dajh nodded. “That sounds like a good idea, but what if we run into some trouble?” The ranch itself was quite safe, but a little farther out it wasn’t unheard of for the local wildlife to get a little frisky.

Fang just grinned. “Dajh, look who you’re riding with.” She gestured at Sazh. “Your old man’s a pretty good shot, and I know he’s taught you a thing or two.” Her eyes twinkled. “And don’t forget I’ll be around, not to mention the colonel over there will probably kill anything that even looks at us funny.” She waved a hand at Lightning who, as usual, was wearing her gunblade. Not that she any different. Her spear was right next to her. “Right now, Dajh, I don’t think we’ve got to worry about running into trouble.” She smirked. “We are the trouble.”

Dajh chuckled. “Fair enough. Now, how about we get lunch finished off so that we can go take that ride.”

X X X

The prospect of a ride had both Diana and Averia eating at almost superhuman speed, so it wasn’t long before they headed back to the ranch to pick out their chocobos. Rather than go for speed, they decided to stick with the friendliest of the bunch. Fang and Lightning could both ride quite well, but the last thing they wanted was for an angry chocobo to ruin the day. Of course, it probably would have taken a pretty brave – or suicidal – chocobo to mess with Lightning. Just to be sure that she wouldn’t have any problems, the soldier made sure to give her chocobo a quick glare to let it know who was boss before she and Diana hopped on. As for Fang, she was content to rely on the old Yun charm to settle down her chocobo before she and Averia climbed on.

They headed out at an easy sort of trot. Their destination was a small stream about an hour and a half’s ride from the ranch. It was a nice place to take a rest and the animals there were mostly harmless and used to the occasional rider passing through.

“This is really fun,” Diana said as she bounced along in front of Lightning. “But my bottom hurts.” She reached down to rub said bottom and winced before she glanced back at Lightning. “How come yours doesn’t hurt?”

Fang was not about to miss a chance like that. “It’s because your mom’s bottom is wonderfully –”

“It’s because you’re not used to riding yet and I am,” Lightning said as she scowled at Fang. She wasn’t that worried about her kids hearing that kind of talk – they were used to it by now – but poor Dajh was blushing so fiercely that it was easy to see, even with his darker skin. “Once you’ve done a bit more riding, you should be fine.”

“Oh.” Diana wiggled around a little more to try and get into a better position. “When did you first ride a chocobo, mom?”

Lightning eased the chocobo around a fallen tree trunk. “It was when I journeying with the others.”

Fang grinned and, to Averia’s delight, had her chocobo jump the fallen tree trunk. “You know, your mom learned how to ride pretty quickly, but I think part of that was because the chocobos knew not to mess with her.” She chuckled. “Your Uncle Snow on the other hand…”

“What happened?” Averia asked. Both her mom and her mommy had mentioned this story a couple of times, but she’d never had the chance to find out exactly what had happened. Maybe this time she’d find out, and then she’d be able to tell Claire.

Sazh took one look at the big grin on Fang’s face and decided that it might be a good idea if he told the story instead. “The thing you have to remember, Averia, is that chocobos can pick up on how you’re feeling. If you go up to a chocobo all mad or scared, then that’s going to make them nervous, which is no good for riding.” 

“Did Uncle Snow get mad at his chocobo?” Averia asked, surprised. Her Uncle Snow was one of the nicest people she’d ever met. She’d never seen him get mad, not even when she, Diana, or Claire did something bad, like the time they’d accidentally broken something fighting in the living room, or the time they’d been having a water fight and had gotten him wet instead of each other. 

Sazh laughed. “Snow? Not a chance. That guy hasn’t got a mean bone in his body. No, he didn’t get mad, but he did get really, really nervous.” He grinned. “I’m not sure why though, because I just can’t see a chocobo actually being able to hurt him, not when he can actually take a punch from your mom and keep on his feet.” He nodded in Lightning direction. “Anyway, your mom got so sick of him hesitating, that she just grabbed him and practically threw him onto the poor thing. As for what happened next, let’s just say that the chocobo didn’t like that too much.”

“It threw him off,” Fang said. “And then it tried to peck him.”

Lightning’s lips curled. That had been a fairly amusing sight, although to his credit, Snow had picked himself back up and tried again and again until he’d finally gotten the hang of it. As much as it sometimes pained her to admit it, he really was brave in his own way, and he’d turned out to be a pretty decent rider once he got used to it. Besides, unlike Fang, she hadn’t laughed at him. Not out loud, anyway.

“And if you think that’s funny, you should have seen what happened to Hope.” Fang’s shoulders shook and even Chirpy let out an amused ‘kweh’.

“What happened to Uncle Hope?” Diana asked. She really liked her Uncle Hope. He always knew about the shows and games that she and the others liked, and there was always a candy in his pocket that he was willing to share, although he was always careful never to let her mom see. He was also a member of the Guardian Corps, just like her mom, which only made him better in her eyes. “Did he get attacked by a chocobo too?”

“Oh yeah.” Fang smirked. “You see, not all chocobos are that friendly and Hope decided to try and prove how brave he was by going after one that really didn’t like him. It took one look at him and then went after him.” She laughed. “It took us fifteen minutes to get it to stop chasing him. It was hilarious.”

Lightning frowned. “It wasn’t funny, Fang. He could have been hurt.”

Fang looked at Lightning. “Oh, come on. It wasn’t even fully grown and after all we’d been through at that point, there was no way a chocobo was going to do any real damage.” She tossed a teasing look at Lightning. “Besides, I noticed that you didn’t exactly step forward to help him right away. I think I even saw you smile.”

Damn, Lightning thought. Not only had Fang noticed back then, but she’d remembered, as well. Drawing herself up straight in the saddle, she gave Fang a cool look. “I was waiting for the correct opportunity to help him.” However, when both Fang and Sazh shot her frankly disbelieving looks she was forced to change her tune. “Okay… so maybe it was a little bit funny.”

Sazh puffed his chest out. “Well, you two should have seen Dajh when he first tried to ride a chocobo. He was just like his old man, got it right the first time.”

Dajh smiled at Diana and Averia who were looking at him in admiration. “Dad, I think they remember, they were there. Besides, that chocobo was probably too scared of what you and the others would do to it if it threw me off to even think about trying anything funny. Not to mention, I used to go everywhere with Chirpy.” He reached down to give Chirpy an affectionate pat on the head. “So the other chocobos already knew that I was friendly.”

“Say what you want, I think it’s all in your genes.” Sazh smiled softly. “Your mother was pretty good with animals too, you know.”

A brief silence fell over the group. Lightning had always wondered what sort of person Sazh’s wife had been. From what Sazh had told them, she sounded really special, and Sazh must have loved her a lot because he’d never remarried.

“So, speaking of things changing,” Sazh said to break the silence. “How are you two kids going in school?”

Lightning looked up at the sky.

“That bad, huh?” Sazh grinned.

“Oh, they’re smart,” Lightning said as Diana grinned evilly. “Too smart.”

“They’ve got a talent for finding loopholes in the rules and they’re not afraid to pick a fight if they think they have to.” Fang ruffled Averia’s hair. “And they win just about all of their fights too.”

Sazh laughed. “Now, why doesn’t that surprise me?” He looked ahead to where the terrain had flattened out onto a big, grassy plain. He shot the kids a smile. “Why don’t we speed things up a little?”

They got to the stream pretty quickly after that as they let the chocobos speed up and stretch their legs. When they got there, Diana and Averia were quick to hop down onto the ground. Diana made a great show of how much her bottom hurt while Averia discretely found a place to go flop onto her back. As for the chocobos, they ambled over to the water for a drink as Lightning took a place up on a rock nearby to keep an eye out for trouble. However, it wasn’t long before the girls recovered and they headed over to the chocobos with Dajh, most likely to cause some trouble.

“So, have you two started to teach them how to fight yet?” Sazk asked as he and Fang rested up against a tree. It wasn’t all that hot yet, but they were both feeling in a lazy sort of mood as they slowly got afternoon tea ready.

Fang looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “We’ve been teaching them for a while now, actually.” She paused for a moment and watched as Diana leapt at Chirpy who nimbly dodged, leaving the girl to belly flop into the stream. “Diana is seven now and Averia is ten. Back in the old days, it was pretty normal from someone in the Yun clan to already be handling a bladed weapon by the time they were ten.” Sazh’s eyes widened. “The weapons had their edges blunted, but you get the picture.”

“I’m guessing that Lightning doesn’t want to do anything like that,” Sazh said. 

Fang shrugged and smiled as Averia tried to sneak up on Chirpy, only for the chocobo to catch her off guard and tug her into the stream. “Not really, and I don’t blame her. I grew up during the war, Sazh. Back then, you either learned quickly or ended up dead.” She shook her head to try and clear the memories away. “But we’ve been teaching them things anyway. I guess you could call it martial arts, but without all the flashy stuff, just the stuff that works.” She smirked. “Diana’s surprisingly good when it comes to chokeholds and Averia is no slouch when it comes to stand up fighting.” She smiled. “Really though, the most important thing at their age is to just make sure that they’re getting out and about, you know, getting exercise, not that we’ve got a problem with that. Some days we have to practically chain them indoors and they’ve already started to win most of the athletics competitions they compete in.” There was no small amount of pride in Fang’s voice at that last part.

Sazh nodded. “Yeah, Lightning sent me some video of that last competition Averia was in.” He whistled. “She sure can run.” He looked down at the stream and grinned. Averia and Diana were circling Chirpy together as the chocobo called to Dajh for some help. “Remember that time they climbed that big tree by the stables and Lightning had to go up and get them? I honestly thought she’d strangle both of us for letting them get up there.”

“Good times,” Fang said. “But Lightning has been loosening up a little. I think she’s just worried that we’re pushing them too fast. Anyway, I started teaching Averia how to use the staff last year and she’s already pretty good at it. I’m think that maybe some time later this year she’ll be ready to start learning how to use a spear, a blunted one though.” Pride filled her features. “She’s just like I was when I was a kid, faster maybe.” She glanced back at the stream to where things had degenerated into a three-way water fight between Averia, Diana, and Chirpy. Dajh and the other chocobos were wise enough to move a little further upstream to get away from the worst of it. “Diana’s been getting a little restless about it though. She sees Averia learning all these new things and she wants to learn them too, but she’s just not ready yet.”

“Has Lightning taught either of them how to use a sword?” Sazh chuckled as Diana – sopping wet – waved one fist at Chirpy, only to be splashed some more. 

“She has,” Fang replied. “But I still think Averia’s a little better with a staff than a sword.” Although Lightning would never admit it, Fang knew that little fact irked the other woman. “I think Diana will probably end up better with a sword, although it’s too early to be sure. She’s fast and tricky and you should see her with a rolled up magazine.” Fang lowered her voice and took a quick look around to make sure that Lightning wasn’t listening. “I think Lightning would teach them how to shoot too, except she’s worried about how it might look and what sort of trouble they’d end up. She doesn’t want to push them too hard, but she wants to make sure that if anything ever happened to us, the kids would be okay.” Her voice hardened a little. “People are already watching them you know, measuring the kids against me and Lightning, and that’ll only get worse as they get older. Then there are the crazies…”

Sazh sighed heavily and nodded. All of the former l’Cie were famous. Some of them, like Lightning and Fang, were particularly well known because of their occupations. It didn’t surprise him one bit that people liked to compare Diana and Averia to their famous parents and he could only hope that girls never let those comparisons get them down. And as for the crazies… some people actually thought it would have been better to continue the lie that had been Cocoon. He couldn’t deny that life up there had been pretty good, but it had all been a sham, a way of keeping them ignorant to the fact that they were nothing more than a sacrifice for the fal’Cie. Life on Gran Pulse was different. True, it had been pretty rough, especially the first couple of years, but it was real, honest. And every year it got better as people got used to the way things were. Heck, there were times when even he could scarcely remember living anywhere else, and none of the children born since the fall of Cocoon knew any other kind of life. 

“Well,” Sazh said at last. “I’m sure they’ll be fine. After all, they’ve got us.”

Fang smiled. “Yes, yes, they do.” She looked down at the river again. Somehow, Averia and Diana had convinced Dajh to help them, but Chirpy was no fool. In fact, he was probably smarter than most people. Using his size and speed to his advantage, he made short work of the trio, and it wasn’t long before they were forced to retreat under a deluge of water. “How about we tell them to dry off for afternoon tea?”

Sazh chuckled. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Okay,” Fang shouted as she waved around a basket of food. “Who wants afternoon tea?”

“Me!” Diana and Averia chorused as they ran over, Chirpy just behind them.

“Kweh!”

X X X

Lightning took a deep breath as she watched Diana wrap her arms around one of Chirpy’s legs.

“Can he come home with us, mom?” Diana asked tearfully. “It’ll only be for a couple of days and then we can bring him back.”

“He won’t fit in the car,” Lightning said. “He’s bigger than I am.”

“Then maybe he can run to our house,” Diana said. “He is a chocobo.” 

Chirpy nodded. “Kweh.”

“And he’s family, right?” Averia said as she wrapped her own arms around Chirpy’s other leg. “Family just like Aunt Serah and everything…”

“I suppose he is.” As crazy as it sounded, Lightning really did consider Chirpy family. The not so little bird had been there throughout their entire journey and then again as humanity had pulled itself together to make a home for itself on Gran Pulse. Chocobo or not, Chirpy really was family.

“Well, if he’s family, then we can’t just leave him behind!” Averia said as Diana nodded forcefully. “You and mommy are always saying that we shouldn’t ever leave family behind, so how can we live Chirpy behind?”

Finally, Fang decided to speak up. She could see just how uncomfortable this was making Lightning feel. Averia’s words about family cut just a little too close to home, even if the girl didn’t know it. Fang knew how much Lightning still regretted the way she’d handled things with Serah back when they’d become l’Cie and more than once she’d had to hold the pink haired woman after a nightmare where they hadn’t be able to save the younger Farron.

“We’re not leaving chirpy behind,” Fang said. “Sazh and Dajh are family too, right?”

Lightning gave Fang a grateful look. “That’s right, Chirpy will be staying with them, so he won’t be alone, okay?” 

“I guess,” Diana mumbled.

Slowly the two girls loosened their grips on Chirpy’s legs. The chocobo bent down to nuzzle them and gave a few comforting squawks.

“Look,” Lightning said. “Sazh ad Dajh are going to be around for at least another fortnight, so we’ll definitely be able to come visit Chirpy again. And even when they do go another trip, there’s no reason that we can’t visit Chirpy anyway.”

Sazh nodded. “That’s right. You’re all welcome here any time.”

Fang smirked as a rather mischievous idea came to mind. Time to kill two birds with one stone. “Actually, maybe you two could come back tomorrow with your Aunt Vanille.”

“Really?” The two girls looked at Lightning for confirmation.

Lightning nodded. “Sure, so long as your Aunt Vanille is okay with it.”

“Yay!”

“Is Vanille… um… Aunt Vanille really coming around tomorrow?” Dajh asked, quickly covering his slip of the tongue. It would be a real shame if anyone noticed his crush on the red head. Of course, unknown to him, pretty much everyone already had.

Fang’s smirk widened as Sazh covered his face with his hands. “Yep, she wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Ah, Dajh was so cute blushing like that. Still smirking, she started to herd Diana and Averia back to the car, Chirpy alongside.

“That was really funny,” Sazh said, as he walked beside Fang. He lowered his voice a fraction. “But have you thought about what you’re going to do when those girls of yours get their first crush on someone?” 

Fang froze. Etro help her, she hadn’t considered that.

Sazh cackled. “Enjoy the ride home.”

X X X

**Author’s Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off this.

Some people have been asking where Sazh is and, well, here he is. In all honesty, however, I would’ve liked to include him earlier, but he just didn’t fit into the earlier chapters. Based on his ending, I’ve always kind of seen him as being a little apart from the other l’Cie. I don’t mean in the sense that he doesn’t like them, but rather he’s not the type to just settle right back down after their adventure.

The way I see it, Sazh puts those piloting skills of his to use to set up a transport company. That way he can keep right on flying (that ‘long trip’ he refers to at the end of the game), and have enough money to buy a place so that whenever he’s not flying, he and Dajh have a place to stay. The choice of a chocobo ranch was something I felt just fit. Dajh has a soft spot for chocobos and I can see Sazh wanting to have something a little different, something that would let him really savour the beauty of Gran Pulse, which I think he really appreciates. 

Another thing I’d like to say up front is that I am not supporting a Dajh/Vanille pairing. In case it wasn’t obvious enough, it’s a crush. Vanille is the youngest and friendliest of the l’Cie, and Dajh would have grown up seeing her a fair bit, so it’s not that unlikely that he would’ve developed a crush on her as he got older. Of course, his having a crush on Vanille also gives Fang something to tease Vanille about, because you just know that Vanille would have given her a lot of lip when she and Lightning were getting together.

As for Chirpy… yes, I am an unabashed chocobo chick fan. The name itself (i.e., Chirpy) isn’t exactly original, but that’s what I thought when I saw him in the game the first time, plus I’ve already used it in Stetson’s and Fal’Cie, so I’ve gotten used to it. If you’re wondering why I refer to Chirpy as male, it’s because it got really horrible to write ‘it’ the whole time, especially when Chirpy does have a definite personality. ‘It’ makes him sound like a robot or something, and I’ve always kind of thought of Chirpy as male (don’t ask why, I don’t actually know).

The whole idea of Diana and Averia getting along with Chirpy is one I’ve been really looking forward to using. Chirpy is more than a pet, he’s family, and Diana and Averia love him to bits. I don’t know how long a chocobo can live, but I do hope Chirpy has a good, long life. Even if he dies, I’m sure he’ll be fine. After all, if all dogs go to heaven, then surely Chirpy can get there too. 

I would also like to acknowledge the influence that the manga Yotsuba&! had during the writing of this chapter. If mangas could have souls, then truly Yotsuba&! would have a good one. I wanted to try and capture that same sense of simple happiness and wonder in this chapter, and with any luck I managed to capture at least a little bit of it. If you haven’t read Yotsuba&!, I’d definitely recommend it. Everyday, truly is a wonderful day in that manga, and yet it somehow avoids coming across as cheesy.

The last thing I want to mention (and this author’s note is getting a little too long, even for me) is the point that Fang made about their children being compared to them. I don’t think that the l’Cie will be able to remain unknown, especially if, as in this story, they retain most of their powers. Someone is going to have to teach people how to live on Gran Pulse, and who else is there but them? That said, they are going to cast long shadows, shadows that their children will one day have to step out of and there’s a good chance that any resentment for them could be displaced onto their children. Serious issues, all of them, but don’t worry. Our favourite l’Cie (plus Chirpy) will be more than up to the task of handling them.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	5. Class Pet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This weekend it's Diana's turn to look after the class pet. Can Mr Cuddles possibly make it through the weekend in one piece?

**Class Pet**

Lightning felt a tiny smile tug at the corners of her lips as she watched the first few groups of children begin to make their way out of the school gates. It was easy sometimes to lose track of the important things in life, but seeing all of the children smiling and laughing without a care in the world made everything she did, from the late night patrols to the never-ending stream of paperwork, worthwhile.

A few of the children even waved at her as they passed by and she nodded crisply in their direction. Diana and Averia were quite popular, and although most people still viewed her with a mildly amusing mix of awe and trepidation, their friends had learned that despite Diana’s many boasts to the contrary, Lightning was not some kind of invincible killing machine just waiting to unleash mayhem upon the wicked. Of course, that didn’t stop some of the parents from looking a little nervously at the gun blade she carried at her side. 

Several more minutes passed before her children emerged from the gates. As usual, Diana was running at full tilt, the little girl somehow managing to weave her way through the crowd before she flung herself at Lightning with a happy cry.

“Mom!” Diana yelled.

Lightning caught Diana easily and the girl giggled as Lightning spun her in a lazy circle. “You know,” Lightning said. “You don’t have to run everywhere.”

“But running is fun,” Diana said before she grinned up at Lightning. “But you were too fast for me, mom. I was sure I’d get you that time!”

Lightning chuckled softly. Lately, Diana had stepped up her attempts to ‘get’ Lightning. Most of the girl’s attempts consisted of either trying to tackle Lightning out of nowhere, or somehow surprise her. Needless to say, Diana still had a long way to go before she’d be able to catch Lightning off guard. 

“Don’t worry,” Lighting said. “You’ll get me one of these days.” She ruffled Diana’s hair and then reached for her schoolbag. Diana, of course, was only too happy to hand her schoolbag over, and she made a great show of how tremendously heavy it was. To Lightning, however, the schoolbag weighed nothing at all, and she had to bite back a smile at the sour look Diana gave her.

“It’s not fair,” Diana grumbled. “I wish I was as strong as you.”

“Don’t worry, you will be one day,” Lightning said. “Now, how was school?”

Diana’s face lit up. “School was really good today! We went outside and did some drawing. We drew all kinds of things too, like birds, and trees, and buildings, and lots of other things. It was great!” 

“Really?” When Diana had first started school, Lightning had been a little concerned about how her younger daughter would cope with the structure involved, but thankfully, she’d adjusted reasonably well. “Do you have any of your drawing with you? If you do, I’d like to see them.” In Lightning’s completely objective opinion, Diana was about a billion times better at drawing than most children her age.

Diana shook her head. “No, I don’t have any with me right now. We had to leave them in the classroom because Miss Gainsborough said we’d be doing more drawing next week.” She paused. “But she said we could take them home on Monday, so I could show you then, mom.” 

“Okay.” Lightning looked away from Diana for a moment to see what Claire and Averia were up to. The two older girls were talking with some of their friends, but it didn’t take long for Averia to turn and meet Lightning’s gaze. Just like Lightning and Fang, Averia seemed to just know when people were looking at her. 

After a few goodbyes, the two girls made their way over to Lightning and Diana. 

“Hi, mom,” Averia said.

Lightning’s eyes narrowed just a fraction. Averia had always been more reserved than Diana, but she seemed a little upset. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Did something happen at school?”

Averia scowled and Lightning felt her lips twitch. Over the years Fang had steadfastly insisted that Averia’s scowl was a perfect copy of hers, but Lightning had just as steadfastly denied it, if only because Fang could be utterly insufferable when she was right about something like that. Now, however, she was forced to agree. She and Averia really did have exactly the same scowl. 

“We got an assignment today,” Averia grumbled. “A really bad one.”

“Oh?” Lightning swayed slightly as Diana decided to amuse herself by climbing her like she was some sort of tree. “What kind of assignment?”

“We’re studying plants right now, so we’re supposed to try and grow some.” Averia held up a packet of seeds. “We’re all supposed to try and grow the same kind, and we need to keep a diary of how it goes.” She scowled again. “It’s boring, and I don’t know why we can’t do what one of the other classes did – they got to go on a field trip to look at some interesting plants.”

Lightning hid a smile. Although the idea of keeping a diary of how well a plant grew was far from interesting – especially for a girl in the fourth grade – that probably wasn’t why Averia was so annoyed. Her daughter had many talents, but looking after plants wasn’t one of them, quite the opposite actually, and given how much Averia hated to lose, keeping a diary would only make it worse. “It’s not that bad,” Lightning said at last.

“Yes, it is, mom! You know how bad I am with plants.” Averia threw her hands up in disgust. “And I’ll come last for sure. Everyone’s plant will be better than mine!”

Claire and Diana both giggled, and Averia rounded on them with a vicious glare. Claire quickly darted behind Lightning, but Diana just glared back from her perch on Lightning’s back.

“It’s not funny,” Averia growled as she waved one fist around threateningly. Sighing, Lightning reached out and pulled Averia a little closer before she could accidentally hit someone. “Everyone will laugh at me!”

“They won’t, Averia,” Lightning said. “And I don’t think the assignment is about whose plant is the biggest.” And that was probably for the best, Lightning thought, because Averia really was quite horrible with plants. It had started when she was in kindergarten when each of them had been given a plant to look after for a week. It was a simple enough task, and Averia had followed the teacher’s instructions perfectly. Nevertheless, her plant had lasted all of three days before mysteriously expiring. Things had only gotten worse the following year when she’d gotten a plant for her birthday. That plant had lasted two weeks before dying, and since then all of Averia’s attempts to look after plants had met with failure. In fact, even the moss on the pet rock that Averia and Diana had kept for a while hadn’t lasted more than a week or before it too joined the long list of Averia inspired botanical fatalities.

“That’s not the point, mom,” Averia muttered. “My plant is going to die and I won’t have anything to put in my diary. It’ll be horrible!”

Lightning sighed. “Look, if it’s really bothering you, we can ask your Aunt Vanille for help, okay?” 

That seemed to relax Averia a little. Vanille had something of a green thumb, which would, hopefully, balance out any problems that Averia might have because a diary in which the only entries were about how dead the plant was probably wouldn’t look very good.

“How about you, Claire?” Lightning asked. “You two are in the same class, so you’ve got the same assignment.”

Claire grimaced and Lightning gave her a curious look. As far as she knew, Claire didn’t have any problems with plants. The girl took a quick, furtive look around, and then spoke in a whisper. “Is my daddy here?”

Lightning raised one eyebrow. “No, he’s not. I’m the one picking you girls up today. Why, what’s wrong?”

Claire took another quick look around. “Would it be okay if I kept my plant at your house.”

Now, Lightning was definitely confused. Keeping it at their house meant exposing it to Averia and potential death. “I don’t mind, but, why?”

Claire winced. “You know that rose you bought mommy a while back?” Lightning nodded. Serah had always liked roses, and she’d been delighted when Lightning had bought her one that she could plant in her garden. “Do you ever wonder why you don’t see it anymore?”

Lightning’s brows furrowed. Now that she thought about it, it had been a while since she’d seen the rose. By now, it should have been big enough to go from its pot to a nice spot in the front of Serah’s yard. “What happened to it?”

“Promise you won’t get mad at my daddy?” Claire asked. Lightning nodded slowly. “Well… my daddy sort of killed it,” Claire blurted before she took another quick look around. It was almost as though she expected Snow to jump out from behind some bushes to accuse her of betraying him. “He thinks he knows how to care of plants, but he doesn’t. Mommy almost strangled him when she found out.” 

Well, Lightning thought, that would definitely explain the afternoon that Serah had stomped over with murder in her eyes, demanding that they go out and do something. However, the thought of Serah actually strangling Snow was ludicrous. For one, she wasn’t sure if her sister could even reach Snow’s neck, and even if she could, Serah’s hands probably weren’t large or strong enough to actually choke him. No, if Serah wanted Snow strangled, the best way to do it would be to just ask Lightning to do it for her. 

“Really?” Lightning murmured. “He killed it?” This was definitely something she could hold over Snow. She must have been grinning evilly, because Claire gave her a worried look. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything to your daddy. Your mommy probably already did something to him, anyway. Still, I don’t mind if you keep your plant at our house.”

Claire smiled. “Thanks and…” she looked at Averia.

“Hey!” Averia growled. “Don’t look at me. Your plant won’t die just because I’m there.”

Claire gave Averia a doubtful look and Lightning decided that it would probably be best to step between the pair before things got out of hand.

“Mom,” Diana said as Lightning turned to lead them back to the car. “We can’t go yet. We still have to go see Miss Gainsborough.”

Lightning turned her head a little and Diana giggled as Lightning’s chin poked her in the forehead. “Are you in trouble, young lady?” Lightning asked as she tried to give Diana a stern look, a task made much more difficult by how close Diana was to her face. “Well?”

Diana laughed and quickly shifted her position so that her head was now resting on Lightning’s other shoulder. Sighing, Lightning reached back and pried her off. “Of course, I’m not in trouble, mom. When am I ever in trouble?”

Lightning rolled her eyes at the angelic look on Diana’s face. She wasn’t fooled for a second. Diana did plenty of troublemaking, she was just very good at not getting caught, and when she was, she was even better at charming her way out of trouble. Lightning blamed that entirely on Vanille and Fang, because Lightning couldn’t remember the last time she’d charmed her way out of anything. No, glares and scowls were much more her style.

“So, what do we need to go see Miss Gainsborough about then, Diana?” Lightning asked.

Diana smiled. “Remember, mom? We’ve got Mr Cuddles for the weekend.” She grabbed Lightning’s hand and started pulling her toward the school. “So, come on, we have to go get him!”

Lightning allowed Diana to drag her along. No wonder Diana seemed so happy. Mr Cuddles was the class pet for Diana’s class, and he was one of the main reasons that Diana was so happy to go to school each morning. He was a hamster with light brown fur, and he was, without doubt, one of the fluffiest, cutest, most adorable things that Lightning had ever seen. Not that she’d ever admit it. 

It was the job of the children in Diana’s class to look after Mr Cuddles during the week, and each Friday one of them would get to take him home for the weekend before bringing him back on Monday. Diana had been looking forward to bringing Mr Cuddles home for a long time, and now it was finally her turn.

Along the way to Diana’s classroom, Lightning listened as her daughter rambled on about everything around them. Diana had a word to say about everything, from the tree that she liked to try and climb when no one was looking, to the shoe that one of the other children had thrown onto one of the roofs. She even had a lot to say about the where all the best places to hide were whenever they played hide and seek.

Unbeknownst to her children, Lightning knew all of these things already. One of the first things she’d done after enrolling the girls was to take a thorough look at the layout of the school and the neighbourhood around it. She knew everything, from points of exit and entry, to what the school’s procedures were for any type of emergency. Fang had called her paranoid, but she’d caught her doing the same thing just a few days later. Snow had done it too, although he’d been much more upfront about it than either of them. It was just common sense. There were no words for how precious her children were to her, and although she and the other l’Cie could look after themselves, the same couldn’t be said for the girls.

Finally, and only after an impromptu detour to Diana’s favourite spot in the school, they reached Diana’s classroom. As they stepped inside, Lightning was once again impressed by how nice the place felt. Unlike some of the schools she’d visited, this place actually felt like it was for children. All of the furniture was sized just for children and the walls were painted a warm, friendly shade. Hanging up by the windows and arranged on a few shelves were some of the projects the children were doing, and Lightning smiled as she picked out several things that Diana had made. True, the classroom was a little untidy in places, but it was just the kind of place that she wanted for her children. A school, especially an elementary school, should be a welcoming place.

It was why she and Fang had chosen this school over the others. Money wasn’t an issue for them, and they’d gotten more than a few offers from school eager to claim that the children of the famous l’Cie were students. However, most of those other schools had felt almost like military academies and that wasn’t what either of them had wanted for their children at all. It hadn’t helped matters either, that some of the people there were the most pretentious, stuck up people that Lightning had ever met. And if Lightning thought they were bad, there were probably no words for how poorly Fang thought of them. 

“Ah, there you are, Diana, and I can see you’ve brought your mom too.”

Lightning turned. Aerith Gainsborough was several years younger than Serah, and although she’d only been teaching for a few years, she seemed like a natural with the children. She had just the right mix of gentleness and firmness to deal with young children, and there was a twinkle in her emerald eyes that let everyone know that she didn’t mind it if they were a little mischievous every now and then. Diana absolutely loved her, and Lightning had to give her credit – it took a special sort of person to deal with twenty hyperactive first graders for six hours a day, five days a week.

“Good afternoon, Aerith,” Lightning said. “Diana says it’s our turn to have Mr Cuddles for the weekend.”

“That’s right.” Aerith smiled warmly. “And how are you doing, Lightning?” Originally, Lightning had tried to call her Miss Gainsborough, but she got enough of that from the children. So, she’d addressed Lightning as ‘Colonel Farron’ until they’d agreed that maybe first names were better. 

“The usual,” Lightning replied. “Busy. There hasn’t been a lot of trouble around here lately, but there’s been a fair amount of activity in some of the towns nearby, so we’ve been helping out.”

“Is that so? I hope no one’s been hurt.” Aerith tilted her head to one side. “Come on, let’s go see Mr Cuddles.”

Lightning followed Aerith to the back of the classroom to Mr Cuddles’ cage. As soon as he saw them, he darted forward, and Lightning smiled faintly as the hamster nuzzled up against the finger that Aerith stuck into the cage. He perked up even more when he saw Diana and the other girls, and the pair engaged in an impromptu staring contest, which Mr Cuddles won after Diana burst into giggles at the serious look on the hamster’s face. When Lightning bent down to look at him, he backed away for a moment, before approaching her. He sniffed at her hand a few times and the nodded, apparently satisfied that she wasn’t dangerous. Most likely, he’d smelled Diana on her, and given how well the two seemed to get along, that probably qualified her as friendly. 

“Here,” Aerith said as she handed Lightning a sheet of paper. Beside her, Diana bent down and pushed some food into the cage for Mr Cuddles. “I’ve already told Diana how to look after him, but just in case, I’ve written everything down.” She pointed at the bottom of the page. “There’s my number. You can call me if there are any problems.” She laughed softly at Lightning’s surprised look. “Don’t worry, everything should be fine, but I’ve found that it usually makes people feel better if they think they can call me for help. Besides, you never know what might happen.”

“Yeah,” Diana said. “One time, someone brought Mr Cuddles home and he nearly got eaten by their dog!”

Aerith laughed weakly. “Yes, well, that was a bit of an accident.” Quietly, so that only Lightning could hear, she added, “That was a bit of a close call and the children were very upset, no one more so than the child whose dog almost ate him. So, if there are any problems, don’t hesitate to call, okay?”

“All right, but it should be fine, we don’t have any pets at home.” Lightning folded the piece of paper and put it into her pocket. “But thanks for the advice. We’ll have him back to you just fine on Monday.”

“All right then,” Aerith said. “Have a good weekend, all of you.”

“Have a good weekend too, Miss Gainsborough!” Diana said as they left the classroom with Mr Cuddles and his cage.

The drive back home took much longer than usual. Because the cage was too bit to fit with the girls, Lightning had to put it in the back of the car. However, every time she accelerated into anything faster than a crawl, or even turned, Diana would shoot a worried glance at the back of the car and tell her to go slower. Apparently, Lightning was going to kill Mr Cuddles with her ‘reckless and dangerous driving’. Just where Diana had learned that phrase, Lightning wasn’t sure, but she sincerely doubted that just turning right at five miles per hour was going to kill Mr Cuddles. Hamsters were fragile, but they weren’t that fragile. Diana was probably just worried about what would happen to her if something happened to Mr Cuddles when she had him. Not only would the other children be upset with her, she’d have to explain to her favourite teacher just how she’d managed to kill the class pet. Well, she didn’t have to worry. One way or the other, Lightning would make absolutely sure that the hamster made it through the weekend in one piece.

When they got home, Lightning quickly got Mr Cuddles’ cage set up in the living room. It would only be for the weekend, so it would probably be all right, but just to be sure she put it in the corner and put plenty of newspaper under it. Besides, hamsters were pretty easily spooked, and although they didn’t have any pets of their own, there were quite a few neighbourhood cats and dogs that might find the hamster an appealing snack. His cage might keep him safe for a while, but animals could be quite clever when going after something they wanted. No, the best thing she could do for him was to keep him inside.

“Okay,” Lightning said as she dusted her hands off. “I’ve still got a few things I need to get from the car. How about you feed him something?” She passed Diana the sheet of paper that Aerith had given her. “Now, remember to only feed him what your teacher told you, and if you can’t remember, then only feed him what’s on this list, okay?” And with that she headed back to the car. She might be done with work for the day, but the recent increase in activity in the nearby towns had left her with more paperwork than she liked. 

As Lightning gathered her paperwork from the car, she couldn’t help but sigh. The sooner that Hope got promoted to a position where she could start fobbing some of her paperwork off on him, the better. He was one of the few people she trusted not to make a mess of things, and it didn’t hurt one bit that having him around meant she had someone else who could deal with the occasional bout of stupidity from one of her subordinates. Indeed, most of them had learned that if they had done something stupid the safest option was to ask Hope about it. Hope would then relay things on to her, and because she actually liked him, she could then deal with the problem without killing anyone. 

One of these days though, she was definitely going to pay a visit to the Guardian Corps central administration in New Eden City. Paperwork had been at an all time low in the years right after the fall of Cocoon, but recently, they seemed to be doing their best to make up for that and then some. Yes, she’d find the people responsible and put a bullet in each of them. It would be just her luck though, if they promoted her for that, which would mean even more paperwork to fill out, not to mention how much paperwork she’d have to fill out for actually shooting other members of the Guardian Corps. Sometimes there was just no winning.

When she finally got back to the living room, she wasn’t sure whether she should be angry or proud. The girls were feeding Mr Cuddles, just like she’d said. Only, they were feeding him what looked like every scrap of broccoli in the house along with most of the other vegetables.

“What are you doing?” Lightning asked quietly. “Well?”

Diana smiled up at her sunnily and pushed some more broccoli into the cage. “We’re feeding him, mom, just like you said.”

“Yes, I can see that,” Lightning said, her eyes narrowed. “But why so many vegetables?” She paused. “And why all of the broccoli?”

Averia held up the piece of paper that Aerith had written instructions on. “Look, mom, it’s on the list. Broccoli and vegetables are good for him. We didn’t want him to feel hungry so we gave him lots.”

Lots? That was an understatement. About half the cage was filled with broccoli, and another quarter with vegetables. Any more, and the poor hamster would probably suffocate. Gritting her teeth, she shooed the girls out of the way and took most of the vegetables and broccoli out of the cage and put them onto some newspaper next to the cage. Mr Cuddles looked extremely relieved.

“Well, you’re right,” Lightning said as she looked at the piece of paper. “Broccoli and vegetables are on the list. How kind of you three to give him all of the vegetables and broccoli we have in the house.”

Claire nodded sagely. “Well, we do have to look after him. We wouldn’t want him to starve.”

Lightning gave the three girls a calculating look. All three of them seemed to view vegetables, and broccoli in particular, as the sworn enemy. The chance to have Mr Cuddles dispatch the vegetables and broccoli must have been too good to pass up.

“So, the fact that there won’t be any vegetables for you three to eat at dinner has nothing to do with this?” Lightning asked.

Diana shook her head. “No. We were just feeding Mr Cuddles.” She smiled beatifically. “We were just doing what you told us too.”

Lightning felt a smile tug at her lips, but forced herself to frown. “Is that so? Well, who came up with this idea?” To their credit, the three girls refused to incriminate each other. “Well, don’t worry, I can always go get some vegetables tomorrow. It would be an absolute shame if you didn’t have any to eat after you so generously gave yours to Mr Cuddles. I can even get a bit extra just for you.”

Diana’s mouth opened and closed several times before she could speak. “But what about Mr Cuddles? If you give us all the vegetables, he’ll starve!”

Lightning eyed the small mountain of vegetables beside the cage. “Don’t worry, he’s got more than enough to last him the weekend.” She grinned. “You shouldn’t have been so greedy. If you’d only given him some of the vegetables and broccoli, I probably wouldn’t have noticed.”

Ignoring the murderous glare that Averia sent her, Lightning took a seat on the couch and got started on her paperwork. It would be a while yet before the kids were ready to take her on again.

An hour later, Lightning was in the middle of filling out a requisition form for more grenades when Diana let out a horrified cry. She was on her feet in an instant, her eyes scanning the room for any kind of threat. 

“What’s wrong, Diana?” Lightning asked.

Diana pointed at Mr Cuddles’ cage. The door was open. “We were fooling around and I bumped into the cage and… and the door opened and he ran away and…”

Lightning caught a flash of movement by the front door. In a bid to let some of the cool afternoon air into the house, she’d left it open. Now, however, it looked as though Mr Cuddles might use it to try and escape. “He’s over there!” she shouted, pointing at the front door. “Come on!”

All four of them ran for the door, but Mr Cuddles was already out on the lawn and well on his way to freedom.

X X X

Fang grinned as she opened the front gate and walked into her yard. After a week in the mountains helping some researchers establish a new facility, she was glad to be back. A week without Lightning and the kids felt like a year, and she couldn’t wait to get some time in with her favourite people. The prospect of some alone time with Lightning, in particular, put a silly smile on her face. 

Up ahead of her, the front door was open, which wasn’t unusual. It was a cool afternoon, and they lived in a good neighbourhood. Besides, the girls usually spent a lot of their time running in and out of the house, and anything dumb enough to try and get in through the front door without permission would be met by quite possibly the scariest colonel in the entire Guardian Corps.

“I’m back!” Fang shouted. She was a day early, so she wasn’t surprised that no one was out there to greet her. “How is everything?”

To her surprise, scarcely a moment passed before Lightning, together with Diana, Averia, and Claire, all spilled out of the front door.

“Mommy!” Diana and Averia cried.

“Fang?” Lightning said.

“Uh… hi?” Fang asked. “Is… something wrong?”

Diana glanced down at something in the grass and pointed. “Stop him, mommy!”

Fang’s eyes dropped to where Diana was pointing. There was a flash of movement in the grass – it was definitely time to mow it – and on instinct, her hands went to her spear. It might be a snake or something, she thought, just before she lashed out, her spear moving almost too fast to see.

“No, mommy!” Diana wailed. “Don’t spear Mr Cuddles!”

Mr Cuddles? Fang jerked her spear to a halt just in time. In the grass a few feet in front of, a small furry thing came to a stop. It’s shiny black eyes looked from her to the tip of her spear less than a quarter of an inch from its head. Her eyes narrowed. Was this Mr Cuddles? What was it? It looked kind of like a rat, but different at the same time.

Finally, the little thing gave a quiet squeak, and keeled over, it’s leg sticking straight into the air.

“No!” Diana screamed as she picked up the small furry thing and cradled it to her chest. “You killed Mr Cuddles!”

“Huh?” Fang lowered her spear. Uh oh. Now that she thought about it, Diana’s class had a class pet, one that she’d never seen actually seen. What was its name again? Oh… Mr Cuddles was its name. Fang grimaced. “Oh crap.”

X X X

Luckily for Fang, it soon emerged that Mr Cuddles was not actually dead. Rather, the shock of coming less than a quarter of an inch from death had rendered him unconscious. Fang wasn’t sure whether she should laugh or cry about how relieved that made her feel. Soon enough, the little critter was back in his cage, eyeing her warily, almost as though he expected her to come after him with her spear again. 

“Don’t worry, Mr Cuddles,” Diana cooed as she put herself protective between Fang and the cage. “I won’t let mommy spear you.”

Fang ignored the glare that Diana was giving her and turned to Lightning. “Say, Lightning, what is he?”

Lightning looked at her for a moment and then tilted her head to one side. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what is he?” Fang said. “Is he… some kind of rat?” Suddenly four pairs of eyes were on her and Fang took a slow step back. Had she said something wrong?

“Wait,” Lightning said. “Are you telling me you don’t know what a hamster is?”

“A hamster?” Fang shrugged. “Nope, never heard of them before.”

Lightning’s lips twitched and before she knew it, she was laughing so hard that she had to sit down. “Are you seriously telling me that you don’t know what a hamster is, Fang?”

Fang folded her arms over her chest. She didn’t like being laughed at, nor did she like the fact that the three girls were doing their best not to laugh, as well. “So, what if I don’t? They didn’t have these… hamster things when I was young, okay?” She pointed at Mr Cuddles. “I mean look at him, he’s so small, and he doesn’t even have any claws or anything. He wouldn’t last five minutes on Gran Pulse without ending up as something else’s lunch.”

Lightning took a deep breath. “I suppose you’re right. Hamsters probably wouldn’t survive very long on their own out here.” She snickered. “But on Cocoon they were quite popular as pets. Someone must have saved some of them when Cocoon fell, since they’ve become quite popular again recently.” 

“So, it’s a pet?” Fang peered into the cage. Mr Cuddles had, apparently, decided that she wasn’t going to try and kill him again, because he’d started to run on some kind of wheel that had been set up in his cage. “What does he do then?”

Lightning gave her another puzzled look. “What do you mean, what does he do?”

Fang scowled. Lightning was still looking at her funny. “Well, can he help you hunt? Can he scout? You know, that kind of thing.” Fang pursed her lips. “Or is he more like a cat, you know, keeps pests under control.”

Lightning looked like she was about to laugh again but settled when Fang shot her a glare. 

“What’s so funny?” Fang growled.

“Nothing.” Lightning coughed. “It’s just, whatever he does, well, he’s doing it right now.”

Fang looked back at Mr Cuddles. He was still running on the wheel. “Huh?”

Lightning smiled softly. “Okay, I think I get it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m assuming that back in Oerba, people only kept animals around if they were useful.”

Fang nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. During the War of Transgression times had been very tough. Animals were only kept if they could do something useful, like track or hunt. Cats were something of an exception, but even they were useful in getting rid of pests like rats. A hamster on the other hand… what exactly did running on a wheel do?

“Look, life was usually much easier on Cocoon,” Lightning explained, “So, we didn’t have to worry about all of our pets doing something useful. People like hamsters because they don’t take up as much space as other animals. Besides, they are kind of cute.”

Fang narrowed her eyes. She supposed Mr Cuddles was kind of cute in a helpless sort of way.

“And people like taking care of things,” Lightning continued. “If someone didn’t look after Mr Cuddles, he wouldn’t last very long at all on his own. Taking care of him makes people feel good, it makes them feel needed.”

Now that was something Fang could understand. People liked to feel needed and Mr Cuddles definitely needed someone to look after him. Out in the wild, a small, furry little guy like him was just begging to be eaten by a gorgonopsid.

“And I wouldn’t say he doesn’t do anything,” Lightning said as she pointed to the pile of vegetables by the cage. “The girls have already managed to give him all of their vegetables.”

Fang looked over the vegetables and then at the girls who were crowded around the cage with big smiles on their faces. “Ah, no wonder they like him so much.”

X X X

It was the middle of the night when Fang headed down to the kitchen to make herself a late snack. She hadn’t been able to eat very much at dinner with the kids doing their best to convince Lightning that Mr Cuddles deserved a spot at the table with them. In between watching Lightning almost crumble before Diana’s puppy dog eyes, and watching the girls try and sneak some of their dinner over to the cage, Fang had spent so much time laughing that her stomach had hurt too much for her to eat. And after dinner… well, after a week apart, Lightning hadn’t let her linger for more than a few moments after Serah had come to pick up Claire and they’d put Diana and Averia to bed. They’d spent the better part of the night getting reacquainted and Fang was feeling deliciously sore in all the right places.

As she passed the living room with her snack – a cheese sandwich – she paused. There was a series of quiet squeaks coming from the hamster’s cage. Not bothering to turn on the light, Fang made her way over to the hamster’s cage and knelt down.

A pair of bright black eyes met hers.

“Can’t sleep, huh?” Fang whispered. She felt a little sorry for Mr Cuddles. He’d spent the whole day with people and now he was all on his own in a house he wasn’t used to. No wonder he couldn’t sleep. “Must be tough.” The hamster squeaked back and Fang had to admit, he really was kind of cute. “I know you’ve got a big cage, but I bet you wouldn’t mind getting out of it a bit more.” She chuckled. “That’s probably why you tried to run away this afternoon, right?”

The hamster nodded and Fang laughed. She doubted he could understand her, but he did spend all of his time around children, so he maybe it wasn’t too far fetched.

“Tell you what,” she said, mind made up. “How about I let you out for a while?” She grinned. “But if you try and run away again, there’ll be trouble, okay?” Just to make sure he understood, she pointed at her spear, the weapon propped up against one wall. He seemed to understand because he shivered for a moment and then nodded. “Okay then.” Fang opened the cage and stretched one hand out. “Out you get.” 

Mr Cuddles came forward slowly and sniffed her hand for a moment before he climbed onto her palm. Fang chuckled. He barely weighed a thing. Gently, she set him on the ground. He nuzzled her foot and then darted over to a ball that the girls had left out. It was as big as he was, but he braced himself against it and managed to get it rolling. Following the ball, he gave several quiet squeaks as he tried to get it to change direction.

“Well, look at that,” Fang murmured as she sat on the couch. There was more than enough light coming from the corridor for her to follow Mr Cuddles with her eyes as he pushed the ball back toward his cage. However, it was too big to fit through the door, and the hamster tilted his head back and forth several times before looking at Fang for help. “Don’t look at me,” Fang said. “Find something smaller if you want to put something in your cage.”

Mr Cuddles looked at her and Fang could have sworn he rolled his eyes before he darted over toward her and nudged her feet. 

“What?” she asked.

The hamster jumped and managed to clamber halfway up her leg before he slipped.

“Lazy thing,” Fang murmured as she scooped him up and put him on her lap. The instant he was in her lap, Mr Cuddles gave a sigh and closed his eyes. “So, you’re sleepy now, are you?” She looked back at the cage. It seemed a little mean to just put him back in there on his own when there was plenty of space on her bedside table. Hopefully, Lightning wouldn’t kill her. “All right, just this once, I guess.” And with that she headed back upstairs with Mr Cuddles perched on her shoulder. 

The next morning, Fang was sleeping peacefully, her body curled up around Lightning, when the other woman gave a yell and jerked out of her embrace. Grinning, Fang watched as Lightning rolled out of bed naked and dropped into a fighting stance. The source of Lightning’s alarm was none other than Mr Cuddles who had, during the night, decided that the bed was much better than Fang’s bedside table. 

“What is he doing here?” Lightning growled as Mr Cuddles quailed beneath her glare.

“Oh, him?” Fang picked up Mr Cuddles and patted him on the back. “I took him out of his cage yesterday. He seemed kind of lonely.” She smirked. If a hamster was all it took to have Lightning running around naked in the morning, then they would definitely have to get one, maybe even ten.

Lightning must have noticed Fang’s look because she sighed and slipped back into bed. “You took him out of his cage? Why isn’t he running?”

“We came to an understanding,” Fang said with a grin. “After the way we first met, I think he knows not to mess with me.” Mr Cuddles nodded and Fang gave him a scratch behind the ears. “I have to admit, he is kind of nice to have around, even if he doesn’t do anything.” She grinned. “Now, what’s for breakfast?”

Lightning’s only response was to hit her in the face with a pillow.

X X X

“Cool!” Diana said as ignored the pancakes on her plate in favour of watching Fang feed Mr Cuddles a strip of lettuce. “How did you get him to sit on your shoulder like that, mommy?”

Fang smirked. “We Yun have always been good with animals.” She gently lifted Mr Cuddles off her shoulder and placed him on Diana’s shoulder. “Here, just be gentle with him, and be careful not to move too quickly, otherwise he’ll fall off.”

Mr Cuddles spent the rest of breakfast on Diana’s shoulder, and apart from an incident where she tried to feed him a slice of pancake absolutely covered with maple syrup, things went quite well. Since it had been established that Mr Cuddles was not about to try and escape, Diana took him everywhere with her after breakfast too.

When she was drawing in the living room, he was on the couch beside her. When she and Averia were playing fort, Mr Cuddles was on her team, and when they were watch some television, Mr Cuddles was there on her lap. He was even there to watch Averia plant her seeds although they had to warn him several times that he was not allowed to eat them. 

Later that day, when Averia and Diana were having a nap, Fang was sitting on the front steps of the house working on her spear. She would have liked to spend the afternoon with Lightning, but an emergency had come up at work that the other woman had to deal with. It was annoying, but Fang understood. 

Something soft nudged her back and she turned to find Mr Cuddles there. The hamster gave her a quick look before he clambered into her lap. It was a little awkward with her spear slung across her lap too, but he didn’t seem to mind, and she couldn’t quite bring herself to get rid of him.

“You really like people, don’t you?” Fang asked. “Although I suppose that makes sense, seeing as how you are the class pet.” She chuckled and then looked around. Good, no one was there to see her talking to a hamster. “You know, it’s just you and me right now. How about I tell you all about my trip into the mountains?”

Over the next hour, Fang told Mr Cuddles all about how the trip into the mountains had gone. He might not have been much of a talker – he was a hamster, after all – but he seemed to be able to listen just fine. Before she knew it, she’d finished working on her spear, but she was still talking when a quiet cough got her attention. She winced. Lightning was standing there, an amused smirk on her lips.

“Hey,” Fang said. “I was just –”

Lightning chuckled. “It’s okay.” She sat down beside Fang and ran one hand through Mr Cuddles’ fur. 

“So, you’re not going to make fun of me?” Fang asked.

Lightning gave her a look. “Did you really think I would?”

Fang grinned. “In a heartbeat.”

Lightning laughed lightly. “Maybe, but after all of the crazy things you’ve done, somehow talking to a hamster doesn’t seem very strange at all.” She paused. “Besides, Chirpy is a chocobo and we all talk to him.”

“Yeah, well Chirpy is smarter than most people,” Fang said.

“That’s true,” Lightning said. Out on the street, a few of the neighbourhood children passed by and waved. Fang waved back and Lightning nodded in their direction. “You have to admit, he does kind of grow on you, doesn’t he?” Fang heard a hint of something softer, something that was much more Claire than Lightning in the other woman’s voice, but wisely chose not to mention it. “Animals aren’t like people. They don’t judge you. They don’t tell you that you’re silly, or make fun of you for being different.” She scratched Mr Cuddles behind the ears and the hamster made a pleased sound. “When I was younger, I really wanted a pet, you know. But after my mother died…” She shook her head. “I was always busy and then so was Serah. It wouldn’t have been fair.” She laughed softly. “Animals are good listeners aren’t they?”

Fang tugged Lightning over to her and Mr Cuddles had to scramble to stay on her lap. “Funny how things work out, isn’t it?” she asked.

“I guess it is.” Lightning handed Mr Cuddles back to Fang and stood up. “We should probably head back inside. The girls will be up soon, and we need to get dinner started.” She smiled. “Besides, it’ll be dark soon, and somehow, I don’t think it would be a good idea to leave Mr Cuddles out here in the dark.”

Fang chuckled. During her time with him on the front steps, more than one bird had eyed Mr Cuddles a little hungrily. “No, I don’t think that would be a good idea.” 

X X X

When Monday rolled around, Fang was the one to drive the girls back to school with Mr Cuddles. The hamster gave her a sad look as she put his cage back in its usual spot at the back of the classroom.

“Thanks for looking after him,” Aerith said. “He can be a real handful sometimes.”

“It was no problem,” Fang replied. She paused for a moment and then reached into her pocket for a treat. She pushed it into the cage and watched with a small smile as Mr Cuddles nibbled on it. “You know,” she said, still looking at the hamster. “If you ever need someone to watch him, we wouldn’t mind taking him in for a while.”

Aerith smiled softly. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

Fang knelt in front of the cage. It was true that Mr Cuddles didn’t have claws, and he couldn’t track, or hunt, or even really look after himself. Out on the Steppe he’d be lucky to last five minutes, but maybe that was okay. Not everything had to be about survival and somehow, even if he didn’t really do anything, she couldn’t bring herself to call him useless. He was just a little… subtle in what he did.

“Take care,” she whispered to the hamster. “I’ll see you next time.”

Aerith watched Fang leave and gave the hamster a small smile. “You really are popular, aren’t you, Mr Cuddles?”

The hamster didn’t say a word, but he nodded just the same. He might not be much of a talker, but he could listen just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author’s Notes**
> 
> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off this.
> 
> So, after several weeks of writing a story in which our intrepid heroes have to cope with the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse, I was definitely looking for something a little more saccharine. The idea of a class pet seemed ideal for that, especially since when I was younger, bringing home the class pet was like a rite of passage. You’d bring it home and hope with everything you had that you weren’t the kid who screwed it up. I remember how horrible it was when one of the people in my class lost the class pet. It was bird, so, when they opened the cage to clean it, it just flew away. Needless to say, no one was happy. Not the child, not the other people in the class, and not the teacher, either.
> 
> Originally, I had intended to have Lightning interact with Mr Cuddles a bit more, but after writing out a horrible first draft, I realised it didn’t fit as well as I would have liked. Life during the War of Transgression must have been very hard, so I thought that perhaps Fang could use a little lightening up. I can certainly see them not bothering with something as outwardly useless as a hamster during such a difficult time, but the thing with animals is that it isn’t always about what they can do, at least, not in an obvious sense. Animals have a way of just accepting people, which really is something quite special when you think about it. 
> 
> For those of you wondering where the name Mr Cuddles came from, I basically wanted something as cutesy as I could think of, and Mr Cuddles fit the bill. As for Mr Cuddles’ ‘character’, I’m a huge fan of Stephen King, and I’ve always had a soft spot for Mr Jingles, the mouse from The Green Mile. That mouse was made of so much win.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	6. The Art of War

**The Art of War**

“Here you go, Fang.” Serah smiled and handed Fang a mug of hot chocolate before she settled down beside the other woman on the front porch to enjoy her own sugar filled beverage. As she sat down, she noticed the large bag of marshmallows on the table in front of them. “I didn’t know you had any marshmallows.”

Fang took a sip of her hot chocolate and opened the bag of marshmallows. She handed one to Serah and grinned. “I picked up a few packs last week. The girls really like them, and you wouldn’t believe how cranky Lightning gets if she doesn’t have any to go with her hot chocolate in the morning.”

Serah giggled and dipped her marshmallow into her hot chocolate before taking a bite out of it. Heavenly, she thought, absolutely heavenly. “I can see why my sister keeps you around, Fang.”

“For the marshmallows?” Fang smirked. “I always thought it was because of the amazing se –”

“Fang!” Serah cried as she brandished her half-eaten marshmallow like a weapon. “I do not need to know about your sex life, especially when it involves my sister.” She glanced over at the front lawn, a light blush on hr cheeks “Besides, there are innocent ears present.”

“Them?” Fang sent an amused look over at the front lawn. It had been snowing for almost a week now, and the front lawn had vanished under a thick carpet of white. Right in the middle of it all were Claire and Averia, the two girls working on what appeared to be snowmen. Or perhaps calling them snow families would be more appropriate, considering that each of the girls seemed to be making a snowman to represent each member of their respective families. “They can’t hear us from over there.”

“Are you sure?” Serah asked. “They do have very good hearing.” And just to demonstrate her point, she whispered, “Ice cream.” Immediately both girls perked up and looked her way. She quickly hid her smile and waved back at them. They both gave her a puzzled look for a moment and then returned their attention to their snow families. “See?”

“Okay,” Fang said. “Maybe you do have a point.”

“I told you so. By the way, Fang, where is Diana?” Serah asked. Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen the little girl since coming over, and Lightning would not be pleased if they’d lost her. Fang didn’t seem worried, so Diana was definitely still around somewhere, but the girl had an incredible ability to find trouble and cause mischief.

Fang said nothing more for a moment and took another sip of her hot chocolate. The first time that Lightning had ordered this particular brand of hot chocolate, Fang had been quite puzzled. Lightning wasn’t stingy, but this brand cost three times the normal. However, one taste had made Fang a believer. It didn’t hurt either that the taste of it on Lightning’s lips was just incredible. But that wasn’t even the best part. They also had a wonderful chocolate sauce that she and Lightning had put to some very interesting uses. Heh. If she told Serah about those, she’d definitely break the younger Farron’s brain.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Fang said deciding that it would probably be better not to tell Serah what she and Lightning got up to. It would be funny, all right, but not after Lightning found out about it, and at this time of the year, Fang was none too keen to sleep on the couch. “Diana’s fine.” She pointed to the far side of the lawn. “Over there.”

Serah glanced over to where Fang was pointing and her eyes widened. On the far side of the lawn, using the fence at the edge of the property as the back wall was a good-sized snow fort. There were thick walls of piled up snow on the other three sides, a carefully constructed arch for a gate, and even a long stick with bright orange Gary the Gorgonopsid T-shirt on it to serve as a flag. “Did Diana do all of that on her own?”

“You bet.” Pride was all over Fang’s face. “She got up extra early this morning and woke one of us to watch her so that she could come out here and do everything.” She set her mug of hot chocolate on the table and shook her head slowly. “It’s really something isn’t it? But that wasn’t the only thing she was working on this morning. She’s already got her snow family finished.” She pointed to the patch of snow that ran along the front fence.

“Those are hers?” Serah looked at the snow family that Fang was pointing at in amazement. The snow people in the snow family weren’t as big as the ones that Claire and Averia were making, but they were very well made. There was a snow-Fang complete with a large stick for a spear and a black dishcloth for hair. Beside snow-Fang was snow-Lightning, who had a pink dishcloth for hair and a toy gun blade. In front of snow-Fang and snow-Lightning were snow-Averia and snow-Diana, both of them with appropriately coloured dishcloths for hair, and each about the right size. There was even a snow-Chirpy there, although Serah had no idea how Diana had managed to make something that actually looked like a chocobo out of snow. “I actually thought you and Lightning might have made that – it’s really, really good.”

Fang laughed. “It is really good, isn’t it? But I’ll tell you the truth. Both Lightning and I are hopeless when it comes to making snowmen.” She paused and looked around. “But you better not tell Lightning I said that.”

Serah bit back a laugh. Neither Fang nor Lightning liked to lose, and she had sneaking suspicion that the two probably had argued about who was better before realising that both of them were actually quite terrible. It would be just like them. “My lips are sealed.” Serah lowered her voice. “But really, I don’t want to sound mean, but Diana’s snow family is a lot better than Claire’s or Averia’s.”

Fang nodded. “Definitely, which is why we haven’t told those two that the ones up the front are Diana’s. If they knew, they wouldn’t stop until they’d made some that were at least as good and given how they’ve gone so far, well, they’d probably freeze to death or starve before they managed that.”

“Probably.” Serah looked at Claire and Averia’s snow families and winced. As much as it pained her to admit it, Fang was right. They weren’t nearly as good as Diana’s.

However, the problem wasn’t that Claire and Averia were bad at making snowmen. They were actually pretty good at that. It’s just that they weren’t anywhere near as good as Diana. Claire’s problem seemed to be that she wanted to make a life sized snow family. That wasn’t too bad when it came to making a snow-Claire or even a snow-Serah, but a snow-Snow? She couldn’t even reach that high. So right now she was stuck, trying to make something as big as her father and failing pretty miserably at it. Most people probably would have realised that it probably wasn’t possible to make a snowman that big, but much like her father, Claire had a never give up attitude. Unfortunately for her, a never give up attitude didn’t necessarily mean that she could defy the laws of physics and basic engineering principles. 

Averia, however, had an entirely different problem. The girl had already worked out that she couldn’t build a snow family that was exactly the same size as her real family. However, she seemed absolutely determined to make her snow family as perfect and detailed as possible. That was definitely something she got from Lightning because as much as Serah loved her sister, she had to admit that the older woman could be a little… neurotic when it came to certain things. Somehow, Averia had decided that her snow family needed to look exactly like her real family, right down to the hairstyles, facial features, and body shapes. Unfortunately, the snow wasn’t – or rather, couldn’t – cooperate.

In any case, it was quite clear to Serah that the lack of success was beginning to get to the two girls. They were constantly looking back and forth at each other’s snow families and comparing them. She sighed. This was one thing that she didn’t envy them for. Despite all their ups and down, she and Lightning had never really competed as children, which was probably for the best. Lightning could be incredibly competitive and stubborn, and if Serah was honest, so could she, although she would swear till her dying day that the only one as bad as Lightning was Fang. Honestly, the two of them had once gotten into an argument over who could fit more marshmallows into their mouth at one time. It had ended in a technical victory for Fang after Lightning had almost choked, and even then, Serah was sure that her sister would have demanded a rematch if Diana hadn’t run off with the rest of the marshmallows while Lightning was busy remembering how to breathe.

“Wait, if Claire and Averia have been working on their snow families the whole time, does that mean Diana has been on her own all morning?” Serah asked. “Isn’t she bored?” She took another sip of hot chocolate. 

“Probably,” Fang said lightly. “And that’s probably why she’s not working on her fort anymore.” She looked back at the front lawn.

Serah followed Fang’s gaze and almost spit out her hot chocolate. There, on one side of the lawn and making steady progress towards Claire and Averia, was Diana. However, the little girl wasn’t approaching them in anything even approximating a normal manner. Instead, she was slinking through the snow on her stomach dressed entirely in white. Add to that the maniacal grin on her face – an expression that was now on Fang’s – and Serah just knew there was going to be trouble.

“What is she doing?” Serah asked.

Fang smirked. “She’s using everything that Lightning and I have taught her about stealth.” In front of them, Diana got up to her feet and darted over to one large mound of snow. She peeked carefully around it and then darted over to another mound, using it to hide herself from Claire and Averia who continued to work on their snow families completely unaware of the blue-eyed menace that was now only a few yards away. “And now, well, I think she’s going to stir up a little trouble.”

Serah raised one eyebrow. “You’re not going to stop her?”

Fang shrugged. “If it gets those two out of their bad mood, it should be fine.” Her eyes twinkled. “And don’t tell me that you’re not curious to see what Diana has planned.”

Serah opened her mouth to reply, but then shut it. Okay, she was a little curious. Actually, she was more than a little curious. Not only did Diana take after Fang when it came to the mischief department, she’d probably spent more time with Vanille than any of the children, and the red head was nothing if not exceedingly devious when it came to pranks and the like. Diana was like Vanille’s short, evil apprentice, and there was a small – okay, large – part of Serah that couldn’t wait to see what she’d come up with.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt,” Serah said.

“I thought you’d say that,” Fang replied.

Serah settled back to enjoy the view. “Now, if Lightning asks, I tried to stop you, okay?”

Fang chuckled. “Sure, although it would probably make more sense if I said it was your idea. She’s less likely to strangle you.”

“I suppose that’s true, but she’d never believe you.” Serah clasped her hands in front of her and batted her eyelashes at Fang. “After all, who would believe that sweet, innocent Serah would condone such behaviour when there’s you to blame things on.”

Fang grinned. “You’ve been spending far too much time with Vanille lately, Serah.” 

Serah smirked. “Well, when you want to learn something, you go to the best.” Serah had lost count of the number of times that Vanille had managed to squirm her way out of trouble by acting cute, although she couldn’t really blame the red head. It was probably Lightning’s only weakness, and Fang seemed largely content to let Vanille have her way most of time.

On the front lawn, Diana was now only about fifteen feet away from the other girls. However, she was crouched behind a small bank of snow, so there was no way that they would see her. Smirking, Diana formed a snowball with one hand and then lobbed it right into the middle of Claire’s back.

Claire let out an outraged cry and whirled around to glare at Averia. “Hey! What was that for?”

Behind the bank of snow, Diana had both hands clamped over her mouth to stifle her giggles.

“What are you talking about?” Averia replied. “I didn’t do anything.”

Claire’s eyes narrowed ominously and she took one step toward Averia. “I know you’re jealous of my snow family, but you didn’t have to throw a snowball at me!”

Averia’s eyes narrowed right back and she stepped closer until the pair was almost nose-to-nose. “I didn’t throw anything at you, and I’m not jealous of your snow family. Why would I be? They look horrible.”

Claire’s mouth firmed into a thin line. “Well, at least mine are almost finished.” She pointed at the unfinished snow family behind Averia. “It looks like you just started.”

“Yeah, well it’s taking me longer because they’re going to be better.” Averia turned and stomped back to her snow family. “Don’t blame me for your problems.”

Claire glared at Averia’s back for a moment and then flounced back to her snow family to make another attempt at building a sufficiently tall snow-Snow.

“Wow,” Serah murmured with wide eyes as she reached for another marshmallow. “That was a little over the top, don’t you think?”

“Not really,” Fang said. “They’ve been annoyed at each other for a while now, and it’s not like you and Lightning are much better.” She grinned. “Remember the wedding dress?”

Serah glared and Fang actually flinched. Honestly, was a killer death glare some kind of Farron genetic trait? “She wanted to wear her uniform, Fang, her uniform to her own wedding.” Serah sighed. “I just wanted her to look beautiful, Fang, you know, as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. She shouldn’t have to look like a soldier at her own wedding.”

“Well, I for one think that her uniform looks great.” Fang smirked. “Although she does look better without it.”

Whack.

“Ouch.” Fang rubbed her head. “Are all Farrons this violent?”

Whack.

Fang opened her mouth to say something else then thought better of it when Serah raised the pack of marshmallows again. “Fine, forget I said anything.” She pointed back at Diana. “Now, watch.”

Diana waited patiently for the two other girls to settle back down before she snuck another look out from behind her hiding place. Grinning evilly, she made another snowball and threw it, this time right into the back of Averia’s head. The older girl stumbled and had to work very hard to keep from falling into her snow family. When she had recovered, she rounded on Claire with murder in her eyes.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Averia growled, each syllable coming out as a snarl. “I’m going to get you.”

Any other child would have backed down in the face of Averia’s anger, but Claire wasn’t just any other child. She had Serah Farron for a mother and Snow Villiers for a father, and there was nothing and no one scary enough to make her back down. She squared her shoulders and met Averia’s glare with one of her own. “I didn’t do anything,” she ground out. “Maybe you’re just clumsy.”

Serah bit back a laugh. Despite the murderous looks the children were giving each other, it was actually kind of adorable. She’d never really fought with Lighting, at least not until Snow, and that wasn’t the kind of fight anyone could enjoy. However, Averia and Claire had gotten into a few scraps, and this was definitely shaping up to be another. They might be angry at each other during it all, but afterward they always made up, and became even closer than before. Still, a part of Serah wondered if maybe she should step in. One look at the hysterical expression on Diana’s face was enough to convince her otherwise.

“You threw a snowball at me, admit it!” Averia screamed.

“I did not!” Claire screamed back, even louder than Averia. Clearly, whoever could yell the loudest had to be right.

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too times a billion!”

“Did not times a trillion!”

“Did too times infinity!”

“Did not times infinity plus one!”

The two girls glared at each other for a long, long moment, and then went back to their respective snow families, glancing over their shoulders the entire way.

“Infinity plus one?” Fang said. “I didn’t know they’d even heard of infinity yet.”

Serah chuckled. “It’s something the children at school have been using.”

“I see.” Fang reached for another marshmallow. “One more push should do the trick though.”

And she was right.

Diana stifled her laughter and once again waited for the other two girls to turn their attention back to their snow families. This time, she formed two snowballs and threw both of them at the same time, one at Averia, and one at Claire. That was all it took. The two girls turned to face each other and then there was a blur of motion before they went down in the snow in a tangle of limbs. Averia came out on top and used one hand to hold Claire down as she grabbed snow with the other. Averia managed to get one handful of snow onto Claire’s face, before Claire grabbed Averia’s arm and threw Averia over her head.

Averia landed with a thump but was up on her feet in an instant. As the two girls circled each other, Serah couldn’t help but wonder just what Fang and Lightning were teaching Averia, and for that matter, what Snow was teaching Claire. She could almost imagine the two girls holding knives, they looked that intent on ripping each other limb from limb. Beside her, Fang was doing her best to hold her laughter in with her hands wrapped around her middle.

“This is priceless,” Fang said as Claire took Averia down with a flying tackle. The two of them skidded through the snow kicking and screaming. “I should go get a camera.”

Serah winced as Averia got back to her feet and threw Claire head first through snow-Snow. Claire let loose a howl of outrage and returned the favour, tossing Averia through snow-Lightning. “Don’t you dare, Fang,” Serah said with a smile before Claire ripped off snow-Fang’s head and used it to whack Averia. “They’ll probably be done before you get back.”

Fang looked at Serah for a moment and then grinned. “I always knew there was a reason the two of us got along so well.”

As Claire and Averia continued to battle, they moved away from their snow families and out into the rest of the yard and traded punches, kicks, and snowballs. Out of the corner of her eye, Serah saw Diana move again and she had to clamp her hands over her mouth to stop her laughter. Grinning madly, Diana had snuck around each of the snow families to where Averia and Claire had been keeping the food they would be eating for lunch. Incredibly, the other girls didn’t even notice as Diana tucked one lunch under each arm and stealthily made her way back to her snow fort.

“She’s not going to eat those lunches, you know.” Fang smiled. “She’s just doing it to show that she can.”

Serah nodded. Diana couldn’t possibly eat that much, especially when neither lunch contained any candy. “You know though, they’re going to notice eventually and when they do…”

Fang’s smile was infectious. “Then we’ll find out just how fast Diana can run.”

It took about ten minutes before Averia and Claire finally slumped into the snow exhausted. Both of their snow families has been destroyed in the struggle, and both of them were covered in snow. Slowly, they pulled themselves up to their feet and retreated to where their snow families had been, scowling at each other the whole time.

Averia dug around in the ruins of her snow family for a moment and then froze. “You took my lunch!” she yelled.

“I did not.” Claire looked for her lunch and came up empty handed too. “Hey… where’s my lunch?”

“Don’t try that, I know you took my lunch,” Averia said.

“I did not,” Claire replied. “I was fighting you the whole time.”

“But then…” Averia’s eyes widened.

Serah laughed as both girls fell silent. A harsh wind blew across the front lawn, but neither of them moved, not even when the snow began to blow onto their faces. She could practically see the wheels turning in their heads as they pieced everything together. Finally, they snapped out of their dazes and turned to each other.

“Diana!” they shouted together.

Moving together, the two girls immediately headed toward the snow fort. Claire came in from one side and Averia from the other. They hadn’t said another word to each other, but their cooperation was prefect. Both of them knew how tricky Diana could be, and if they wanted to catch her, they needed to be ready for anything. However, they hadn’t counted on the escape tunnel that Diana had dug into one side of her snow fort. As Claire and Averia leapt over the walls of the snow fort, Diana emerged from behind a large mound of snow. Quickly, she began to move across the lawn toward Serah and Fang. It wasn’t like Claire and Averia could strangle her if she was with the adults.

Unfortunately for Diana, it was going to be that easy.

Just as Serah was sure that Diana would make it to her and Fang without being noticed, Averia turned and spotted Diana. The older of the two sisters had an uncanny ability to find Diana when she wanted to, much in the same way that Lightning had never been able to hide from Serah, especially not when the younger Farron decided she needed a good talking to.

“She’s over there!” Averia bellowed. “Get her!”

Diana yelped and abandoned all attempts at stealth. She broke into a ragged run through the snow toward Serah and Fang only to be cut off by a hail of snowballs. She dodged the first three, twisted around one, but a fifth caught her in the back and sent her spinning. Somehow, Diana managed to keep on her feet, and Serah laughed as she caught sight of a certain unsuspecting someone walking in through the front gate.

Vanille.

The red head was smiling and waving a big bag of marshmallows at Serah and Fang, utterly oblivious to the storm she was about to walk into. Diana took one look at Vanille and ran right to her, vaulting over a mound of snow before she ducked behind Vanille and wrapped her arms around Vanille’s waist.

“You have to save me, Aunt Vanille. I took Claire and Averia’s lunches and turned them against each other and now they’re going to kill me!” The words came out so fast that even Serah and Fang could barely followed them.

As for Vanille, all she could manage was a confused, “Huh?”

And then she couldn’t even manage that as a veritable storm of snowballs slammed into her. She actually twitched as each projectile struck, body jerking back as she struggled to keep her footing under the barrage. Diana, of course, was perfectly fine having used Vanille as a shield.

As the attack died down, Vanille slowly put her bag of marshmallows on the ground. Then she wiped the snow off her face and looked at Claire and Averia. Then she pried Diana’s arms off her waist and looked down at the little girl, face oddly calm. “Did you just use me as a human shield?”

Diana laughed nervously. “Maybe?”

Vanille’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe?”

Diana winced. “Um… yes?”

And then it wasn’t just Claire and Averia going after Diana.

“Cut her off!” Vanille screamed as Diana turned tail and ran. “Don’t let her get to Fang and Serah!”

“On it,” Claire shouted as she barred Diana’s path to safety.

“And let me throw the snowballs,” Vanille cried. “Your arms are too weak!”

Averia grimaced. Wasn’t this a little too much. But it wasn’t like they were really going to kill Diana, and Diana had plotted against her and Claire. “Okay!” 

Up on the front porch, Serah gave Fang a concerned look. “Isn’t this just a little unfair?”

Fang laughed. “Maybe, but she’s having the time of her life.” Fang nodded at Diana. The girl was laughing crazily as she dodged back and forth between the mounts of snow that littered the lawn. Her small size and agility made it hard for the others to keep up with her, even Averia and Claire.

Serah took a sip of her hot chocolate, eyes narrowed as she noticed something new about the layout of the lawn. “She didn’t just make the snow fort and the snow family did she?” Now that she looked at it, the mounds of snow that littered the lawn weren’t randomly placed, nor were the small trenches and other obstacles. In fact, the only person who seemed to know how everything was set up was Diana.

Fang couldn’t have looked more proud. “Nope. She takes after your sister a lot that way. She spent the whole morning getting everything set up. She finished just before you got here, and Averia and Claire were just too busy to notice.” She turned back to the spectacle. Vanille had just tripped over something buried in the snow and Diana had taken the opportunity to pelt her with snow. “It seems only fair that she gets the chance to enjoy it all.”

“Fair enough.” Serah smiled and pointed at the sidewalk in front of their house. “And help is on the way.”

Walking along the sidewalk was Lightning. The pink haired woman went through the front gate and Diana was behind her in a flash. Several snowballs sailed through the air, but Lightning’s gun blade was free in an instant. With a flick of her wrist, Lightning cut the projectiles out of the air. Bending down, she picked up the bag of marshmallows that Vanille had dropped and opened it. 

“Well, is anyone going to tell me what is going on here?” Lightning popped one marshmallow into her mouth and then handed the bag to Diana who was all too happy to accept it.

What followed was a hastily blurted account of the morning’s events with as much exaggeration as possible about how treacherous, underhanded, and generally evil Diana had been. At the end of it all, Lightning set a vaguely amused look at Serah and Fang and then turned back to the others.

“So, let me get this straight,” Lightning said. “Basically, Diana outwitted all of you.” Averia, Claire, and Vanille winced. It sounded pretty bad when she put it like that. Lightning held their gazes for a moment longer and then turned to face Diana. “And you, Diana, you woke up really early to set all of this up didn’t you?” Diana nodded enthusiastically and Lightning’s eyes softened. “But you really shouldn’t pick on the others. Still… it must have been hard fighting three people on your own, especially when they’re all older and bigger than you.” 

Diana looked up at Lightning hopefully. “Only a little bit.”

Lightning ruffled Diana’s hair and reached for some snow. “Well, you won’t have to fight on your own anymore.”

Whack.

Whack.

Whack.

Averia, Claire, and Vanille just stared at Lightning as the snow dripped off their faces.

Lightning grinned and reached down for some more snow. She passed a handful of it to Diana. “Three against one sounds a little unfair. Three against two sounds a bit better.” The others just continued to stare and Lightning smirked. “You know, you really should be running.”

Averia, Claire, and Vanille ran.

Serah laughed. “You want to join them, Fang?”

Fang chuckled as Lightning brought Vanille down with a hail of snowballs. Elsewhere, Diana leapt onto Averia’s back and stuffed a handful of snow down the older girl’s shirt. “Join those lunatics? I think I’ll just sit back here and enjoy the view.”

Serah caught a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye. “Here, give me your mug.”

Fang handed Serah her mug. “Okay, but why?”

Whack.

Snow fell from Fang’s face and Serah looked over to where Lightning was staring at them with another snowball in hand and her arm drawn back and ready to throw. Beside Serah, Fang slowly got to her feet and stretched her arms and shoulders.

“You three!” Fang shouted to Averia, Claire, and Vanille. “You worry about Diana, Lightning’s mine!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off this.
> 
> There’s nothing quite like a snowball fight for a bit of fun. When I was first thinking about this chapter, I had originally planned to have the children – Averia, Claire, and Diana – on one team and the adult on another team, but I realised that probably wouldn’t be fair. Not only are there only three children, but also having Fang and Lightning on the same team is pretty ridiculous. After a bit of thinking, I decided that having Diana start off the battle would be a better way of doing things. 
> 
> With regards to Diana setting the whole thing up, I’m constantly amazed by what children can come up with. Two of the people in my family are primary school teachers and some of the things the children in their classes come up with are incredible. Any adult who underestimates how crafty children can be does so at their own peril. Don’t forget as well that Diana knows Claire and Averia very well – after all, she spends most of her free time with them, so she knows just which buttons to press.
> 
> For those of you wondering where the title comes from, it’s a nod toward Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”, which is a military treatise that was written in Ancient China. If you’re at all interested in military history or tactics, it is definitely worth a read. That aside, it contains two pieces of advice that are particularly relevant to this chapter. The first piece of advice is to know yourself and your enemy. If you can do that, you’ll be much more successful. Clearly, Diana has done her homework. The second piece of advice is to know the terrain, and if possible choose a place of battle that best suits your strengths. Again, this is something that Diana has done, much to her advantage. Of course, I’m not saying that Diana has read the Art of War, but Fang and Lightning have no doubt explained a few of the basics of military strategy to her.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	7. Tricks, Treats, and Halloween Fun

**Tricks, Treats, and Halloween Fun**

Fang sighed and reached over to pull Lightning closer. After a good night’s sleep, there was no better way to start the day than with a bit of a cuddle. However, rather than encountering Lightning’s warm, enticing body, her arm was instead met with empty space. She cracked one eye open and frowned. Lightning wasn’t there.

“Damn,” Fang muttered as she got out of bed and pulled some clothes on. “What are you up to, Lightning?”

Still a little sleepy, Fang made her way down the stairs and over to the kitchen. Most of the time when Lightning wasn’t in bed, it was because she’d gotten up early to make breakfast for the kids. Diana and Averia had bottomless pits for stomachs and leaving breakfast too long typically resulted in the two girls barging into their bedroom with complaints about how they were only moments from starvation. Thankfully, however, the kids hadn’t yet caught them in a compromising position, although there had been more than a few close calls.

When she got to the kitchen, Fang felt a smile slip onto her lips. Lightning was there at the stove with her back to Fang and she was even wearing that wonderful little apron of hers. As quietly as she could, Fang crept up behind Lightning and pulled the other woman into her arms. Lightning let out a most un-Lightning like squeak and Fang pressed her lips against the pink haired woman’s ear only to realise something very, very bad, something that snapped her from half asleep to completely awake in half a heartbeat.

She and Lightning were almost the same height. However, the person in her arms – the person whose earlobe was currently in her mouth – was noticeably shorter than her. And she only knew two people with pink hair.

Crap.

“Uh, Fang,” Serah said, struggling a little to pull herself out Fang’s arms. “Do you think you could let go of me?”

Double crap. 

“Yes, Fang, why don’t you let go of her?”

That was Lightning’s voice and it was coming from the doorway of the kitchen behind them.

Triple crap.

“It’s not what you think, Lightning!” Fang blurted as she spun around to face the older Farron, one arm still wrapped around Serah’s middle, the other arm somewhat – and very dangerously – higher.

“Really?” Lightning murmured, mirth dancing in her cerulean eyes. “Then what is your hand doing on my sister’s chest?”

Fang looked down and sure enough there her hand was on Serah’s chest. Absently, she noted that the younger Farron wasn’t quite as well endowed as Lightning, but that was probably due to the difference in height. Fortunately, however, she had enough self control not to mention that, because right now Lightning had that gleam in her eyes that told Fang that this was either going to end with a great deal of laughter at her expense, or in a whole lot of bloodshed. 

“Ah!” Fang shouted as she tore her hands off Serah and practically threw her at Lightning. Luckily, Lightning seemed to be expecting that, because she was right there to steady Serah as the younger woman flailed to keep her balance. “It was an accident, I swear!”

Lightning looked at Serah whose cheeks had taken on quite a rosy hue and then at Fang. Calmly, like it was the most normal thing in the world, she walked past Fang and took a large carving knife from the rack over by the sink. 

“What’s the knife for, Lightning?” Fang asked as she took a slow step back. Even though she was fairly sure that Lightning wasn’t about to stab her to death in their kitchen, she couldn’t help but look around for something to defend herself. Unfortunately for her, Lightning was standing between her and the rest of the knives, and apart from a dishcloth there really wasn’t anything else for her to use. Oh, hell, it was better than nothing, she thought before she grabbed the dishcloth and brandished it in what she hoped was a menacing manner.

“This?” Lightning twirled the knife expertly around in her hands and then smiled a little too brightly. “What do you think it’s for?”

Fang bit her lip. Now that was a loaded question. “I don’t know… cutting things?” she finally managed. Behind her, Serah giggled and Fang had to stop herself from turning and glaring. At this distance, Lightning would only need a split-second to close the gap between them.

“Honestly, Fang, you’re being silly.” Serah grabbed Fang by the wrist and dragged her past Lightning toward the sink. “Here, carry these.” And before Fang could get another word out, she found the dishcloth taken from her as Serah thrust a pile of pumpkins at her. “Go take those outside, and Lightning, you know it was an accident, you can stop messing around with her now.”

“Huh?” Was all Fang could say as she looked from Lighting who was now struggling very hard to hold in her laughter to the pile of pumpkins in her arms. “What is all this?”

Lightning moved the knife lazily through the air. “Have you forgotten, Fang?” She grinned. “It’s Halloween.”

“Halloween?” Fang gave a sigh of relief. “Thank the Maker, I thought you were going to kill me.”

Lightning walked out of the kitchen and tossed a glance back at Fang. “Of course not, it was an accident.” Her eyes narrowed and her lips thinned. “But if I ever catch you with your hands on my sister’s chest again, so help me, Fang, I’ll make you sorry.” 

Swallowing thickly, Fang looked over at Serah. “Yeah, uh, sorry about grabbing you. I was a little sleepy and you and Lightning do sort of look a little similar from behind and…”

Serah grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” She put one finger to her lips. “Although, now that I think about it, I do sort of understand why Lightning thinks you’ve got talented hands.”

Fang’s eyes widened for a second and then she was running out of the kitchen, Serah’s laughter following her all the way out the front door. 

“Really,” Serah murmured as she continued to work on breakfast. “It’s never boring with those two around.” She giggled. “But she really does have talented hands.”

X X X

“You’re finally awake, mommy!” Diana shouted as Fang practically sprinted out of the house and onto the front lawn. “And you’ve got more pumpkins.”

Fang scowled as Lightning sent an amused look her way. It would be just her luck if Lightning had actually heard what Serah had said to her. Heck, she wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the two Farrons had planned the whole thing out. Lightning might not be one for pranks, but Serah certainly was.

“I sure do,” Fang said. “Now, what are we using these for?”

Lightning pointed over to a table where several pumpkins had already been carved to resemble scary faces. “We’re making jack-o-lanterns.” 

“Right.” Fang put the pumpkins on the table and then shot Lightning a sceptical look. “You do know what Halloween is, don’t you?”

Lightning nodded. “Based on what you’ve told me, Cocoon’s Halloween wasn’t all that different from Gran Pulse’s. It’s a festival where everyone gathers to try and scare away the wandering souls of the Cie’th.”

“Yes,” Fang said. “It is. Now, how exactly are those jack-o-lanterns going to scare away the souls of the Cie’th? They’re not scary at all.”

Lightning raised one eyebrow. “Oh? You think you can do better.”

Fang smirked. “You bet I can.” She picked up one pumpkin to get a feel for the weight of it. It was a good size, perfect for carving up into a jack-o-lantern. “What about we have a competition, Lightning? Unless you don’t think you can win.”

Lightning’s eyes narrowed and her hold on her knife tightened just a little. “Fine, we’ll see who can come up with a scarier jack-o-lantern.”

“Can we help?” Averia asked. “Or are you two going to keep all the fun to yourselves?”

Fang pursed her lips for a moment and then nodded. “Sure. Why don’t you help your mom, Averia, and Diana can help me.”

“What about me?” Claire asked. 

Fang winced. “Uh…”

“Don’t worry, we can make one of our own,” Snow said as he opened the front gate and walked over to the table of pumpkins. “How does that sound, Claire?”

Claire’s smile was almost blinding. “Okay, daddy!” 

Much to Fang’s chagrin, it quickly became apparent that any success that her team would be having would be attributable primarily to Diana. Even though the girl was too little to use a carving knife, she was more than capable of drawing the shape of what she wanted Fang to carve out onto the surface of the pumpkin. After almost half a dozen pumpkins, they had finally stumbled upon what Fang was certain would be the winning pumpkin: a jack-o-lantern carved to show an image of Bahamut with his wings unfurled as he roared at the sky.

“You did really well, Diana,” Fang said as she stepped back and admired their pumpkin. “We’ll win for sure.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Lightning murmured as she pointed at the pumpkin that she and Averia had come up with. Rather than Bahamut, it featured Odin carrying a headless rider with a gun blade. “Our isn’t half bad.”

“What about ours?” Snow asked. “I think that we can safely declare me and Claire the winners.” He gestured extravagantly at the jack-o-lantern that he and Claire had come up with.

“Really?” Fang tilted her head to one side. “What is it?”

“You can’t tell?” Snow said, waving at the pumpkin as though that would make it clearer. “It’s me and Claire on Shiva.” When all four of the Yun-Farrons continued to stare blankly at the pumpkin in question, he gestured harder. “Come on, it’s obvious.”

“No, it’s not,” Lightning said. “Wait… do you even know how to use a carving knife?”

Snow’s smile faltered. “Well… uh… I can’t say that I spend my time waving a sword around as much as you do, and I don’t exactly use a spear, but I definitely know how to use a knife.” He struck a confident pose. “A hero always knows how to use a knife.” Beside him, Claire nodded sagely, her faith in her father absolute and unwavering. Frankly, Fang wasn’t sure whether to find that adorable or disturbing.

“Well, I think it’s wonderful,” Serah said as she walked over with a plate of pancakes for all of them. “Now, how about we take a vote to see who the winner is.”

Not surprisingly, Lightning and Averia voted for theirs. Likewise, Fang and Diana voted for their own jack-o-lantern, and Snow and Claire for theirs.

“Looks like it’s a tie,” Fang grumbled. “Although I still think ours was the best Diana.”

“Actually,” Serah said with a grin as she popped a slice of pancake into her mouth. “It isn’t, after all, I haven’t gotten a chance to vote yet.”

Immediately, six pairs of eyes zeroed in on the younger Farron. Anyone else would have looked nervous, but Serah seemed perfectly calm, but of course she had reason to be. She’d played the whole thing quite nicely, Fang thought, a little too nicely.

“Maybe I’m just a little bit biased, but I like Snow and Claire’s one the best.” Serah grinned. “I think it’s very… unique.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Lightning mumbled.

“Yes, it is,” Serah replied serenely. “Now, come on, stop sulking and start putting them up.” She eyed the other jack-o-lanterns that hadn’t quite made the grade. “And don’t forget to put the other ones up too. I can’t believe you used so many pumpkins.” She eyed the bowl that they had used to store what they’d scraped out of the pumpkins. “Well, at least you saved the insides. Hold on for a second, and I’ll see if I can’t use them for something else.” Smiling, she stood and headed back into the house. “Now, behave.”

Of course, they didn’t.

“You cheated,” Averia said with a scowl as she waved her fork at Claire, a slice of pancake still on it. “Your mom shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”

“Well, your mom and your mommy both voted, so I don’t see why mine can’t,” Claire shot back.

“But you got your daddy to vote too,” Averia said. “So it’s not fair.”

“Yes, it is,” Claire replied. “You had your parents vote and I had mine vote, it’s not my fault that your mommy didn’t vote for your jack-o-lantern.”

Averia’s eyes narrowed and Fang had a split-second to wonder just what kind of luck it took for Averia to be seated within reaching distance of the bowl they used to store the insides of the pumpkins before the girl scooped up a handful and flung it at Claire.

To Claire’s credit, she seemed to be expecting it, because she leaned to the side and instead of hitting her, it hit Diana right in the face. 

“Averia!” Diana wailed. “Why did you get me?”

“I wasn’t aiming at you,” Averia growled. “I was aiming at Claire.”

Apparently that wasn’t a good enough answer, because Diana scrambled over to grab a handful of the pumpkin and throw it back at her sister. Averia dodged and the handful of pumpkin got Lightning in the face. Diana’s eyes widened and the only thing that saved her from her mother’s wrath was the fact that Fang couldn’t keep herself from laughing at the sight of Lightning with great globs of pumpkin dripping off her face, and neither could Snow.

Things went downhill from there.

By the time that Serah came back, all of the spare pumpkin was either on the lawn or on one of the others. Shocked, Serah could only stop and stare as her normally dignified sister and Fang did their level best to pelt each other with pumpkin while Diana and Averia cheered them on. Claire and Snow, meanwhile, had returned to the pancakes and were eating with gusto.

“What are you doing?” Serah shouted. 

Fang and Lightning paused in mid throw, letting the pumpkin drip out of their hands and onto the lawn.

“You see,” Fang said. “There’s a really good explanation for this.” She pointed at Lightning. “It’s basically all her fault.” 

Serah looked at Lightning expectantly. “Well?”

Lightning made a disgusted sound. “You don’t actually believe that do you, Serah?” She pointed at Fang. “It’s her fault for laughing at me.”

Serah sighed. “How old are you, five?” She threw her hands up in disgust. “Well, there go my plans for making pumpkin pie.” She looked at Snow. “Can you get cleaned off and go and buy some more pumpkins.”

Diana, Averia, and Claire’s eyes lit up.

“And no, you will not be carving them or throwing them, these are for making pumpkin pie.” Serah gestured at the mess on the lawn. “And clean this up, Lebreau and the others will be here to start setting up any minute now.”

As Serah stomped back into the house, Fang looked at Snow. “Are you sure Lightning is the scarier one?”

The big man chuckled. “After being married to Serah for this long, I’m not so sure any more.” He looked at Lightning and held up his hand beseechingly. “But don’t tell her I said that.”

Lightning just smirked and made a whipping motion at him before she bent down to start cleaning up the mess.

“Heh,” Fang said. “She’s right you know.”

Snow rolled his eyes. “As if you aren’t.”

“I am not –”

Lightning scowled. “Stop talking and help me, Fang.”

“Fine,” Fang muttered as she started picking up pieces of pumpkin.

“Yeah,” Snow said. “As if you aren’t.”

Just for that, Fang threw another piece of pumpkin at him. Unfortunately for her, Serah chose that exact moment to come out of the house. Still, even after the younger Farron had given her another lecture on not attacking her husband with pumpkin, Fang was certain that it had been worth it. She was not whipped… okay maybe she was just a little… possibly… a bit, but definitely not as much as he was.

X X X

Fang took a look around at the front lawn. Good, the sun had just set and everything was almost ready. Lebreau and the others had already set up the refreshments, and there were tables set up for the guests to use when they arrived. Set up on the front fence and around the front lawn were the jack-o-lanterns they’d made in the morning and she was pleased to see that the ones she and Diana had made looked particularly scary now that they were lit up from the inside by candles.

The only thing left to do now was to change into her costume and make sure that Lightning changed into hers. Knowing the other woman, it would take a bit of wrangling before she agreed, but it would definitely be worth it. Fang had always wanted to see Lightning in a short plaid skirt. But first, she had to change into her own costume.

A few minutes later, Fang had changed into her own costumes, but Lightning was still nowhere in sight. On a hunch, she made her way up the stairs and over to their bedroom.

“Come on, Lightning,” Fang shouted. “It’s almost time for the party to start.”

“I’m not coming out, Fang,” Lightning growled. “I look ridiculous.”

“You do not,” Fang said as she tried the door only to discover that as usual, Lightning had thought ahead and locked it. 

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t seen me in it yet.” Lightning threw what sounded like a pillow at the door. “Go away.”

“I’m not going away,” Fang said. “And if you don’t come out, then you’ll miss the party and everyone will wonder where you are, so stop whining and come out.”

“Fine,” Lightning grumbled. “I will.”

The door opened slowly and Fang tried very hard not to stare before just giving in and letting her eyes wander up and down Lightning. 

“Well,” Lightning asked. “I look ridiculous don’t I?”

“No, you don’t,” Fang murmured. “You look naughty… very naughty.”

Lightning’s cheeks flushed and Fang gave her another frankly admiring look. Instead of her usual attire, Lightning was dressed as Serah – or rather, Serah from their l’Cie days. She had everything: the sleeveless shirt, the armband, the short-skirt, and even the thigh-high socks. Fang had never really been a big fan of the schoolgirl look, but Lightning was definitely doing a lot to convert her.

“Don’t say things like that,” Lightning muttered. “It’s weird.”

Fang chuckled. “I suppose.” She gestured at herself. “Still, you’re not the only one dressing like their sister today.”

Lightning looked at her and Fang was pleased to note the admiring look in Lightning’s eyes. “It’s a bit strange seeing you dressed like Vanille, but… it looks good, I think.”

“Of course it does,” Fang struck a pose. “I look good in everything.” She waved around the copy she’d made of Vanille’s weapon. “I have to admit though, I still don’t know how she makes this thing work. Give me a good spear any day. Now, come on, let’s go downstairs. The others are waiting for us.”

They headed down the stairs and out onto the front lawn. 

“I still think you’ve got an easier time of it than me,” Lightning grumbled. “You don’t look like a schoolgirl.” She made a face. “I don’t know how you convinced me to wear this.”

Fang grinned. “You did it because you love me.” She struck a pose and waved her staff around. “Besides, it’s not like I’m perfect either. Look at me! I’m Vanille and I use a weird staff thingy and make strange noises when I fight!”

Whack.

“I do not make strange noises when I fight!” Vanille growled as she lowered her spear – thankfully blunted – and pointed the tip of it at Fang’s head. “I prefer to think of it as having a unique kind of battle cry.” She waved the spear around and bopped Fang over the head again.

“Hey! What was that one for?” Fang asked.

“I don’t know.” Vanille waved the spear around. “But no wonder you like using a spear, this feels pretty good.” She struck most Fang-like pose and reached down to adjust the blue sari that she wore. “Do I like good or what?”

“Of course you do,” Fang said. “You look like me and –”

“Yes, yes, you look good in everything,” Lightning said as she pushed Vanille’s spear out of the way. Why couldn’t she have gotten to dress up as Serah from her later adventure? She might not be that good with a bow, but it had to be better than what she was wearing now. “Have any of you seen Serah?”

There was a rustle of cloth before a red-caped figure flipped off the roof and landed in a crouch in front of them. Blue eyes flashed and Serah gave all of them a cold glare as she rose to assume an appropriately epic position with her gun blade pointed straight at them. Naturally, the wind chose that exact moment to kick up, Serah’s cape billowing majestically in the sudden gale.

“You called,” Serah said.

As Lightning gaped, Fang let her eyes run up and down the younger Farron. Serah wasn’t as tall as Lightning, and her chest wasn’t quite as full, but she didn’t look half bad dressed as Lightning. She’d definitely practiced it a little too, as she did a few of Lightning’s trademark flips and waved her gun blade around. “You look good, Serah. Not quite as good as your sister, but definitely pretty good.”

Lightning looked at Fang and scowled. “You know, I’m starting to think what happened this morning wasn’t as accidental as you claim.”

“What happened this morning?” Vanille asked.

“Fang molested Serah,” Lightning said.

“I did not,” Fang growled. “It was an accident.”

Serah put her hands up to her face and pretended to cry. “It was so horrible, Vanille. Her hands were everywhere.” She paused and looked out at them from between her hands. “Everywhere.”

“What?” Fang squawked.

“There, there,” Vanille said, wrapping her arms around Serah. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Serah wrapped her own arms around Vanille and looked up at her with stars in her eyes. “Oh, Fang, you’re so brave and even though I’m not in touch with my feelings, I just can’t resist you.”

Vanille nodded solemnly. “And you, Lightning,” she said to Serah. “I mourn your inability to express your emotions due to your massive emotional trauma. Surely, however, we can bond through our status as warriors and our inappropriately deep fixations on our sisters.”

Serah grabbed Vanille tighter. “Oh, Fang!”

Vanille buried her face in Serah’s neck. “Oh, Lightning!”

“Fang!”

“Lightning!”

“Okay,” Lightning growled, stepping forward and prying the two giggling women apart. “That’s enough.” She scowled at Serah. “I do not have problems expressing my emotions and I most certainly do not have an inappropriately deep fixation on you.”

Serah grinned. “Relax, we were just playing around.” She smirked. “Besides, if we really want to impersonate you and Fang… we’d do this.” With that she tackled Vanille and the two ended up on the ground with Serah on top. “Hey, Fang,” Serah said in her best Lightning voice. “You want to do something intimate at a complete inappropriate moment, like during a massive battle?”

Vanille grinned up at Serah and replied in her best Fang voice. “Of course, Lightning – that’s what we always do, isn’t it?”

“Hey!” Fang said as she pulled both younger women up to their feet and separated them. “That was one time, just one time, and the battle wasn’t that big. You guys handled yourselves just fine.” She made a face. “And why was Serah on top?”

Serah tilted her head to one side. “Because isn’t Lightning usually the one on top?”

“She is not,” Fang spat. “Well… not all the time.”

“They do not need to know that,” Lightning said. “Now, stop fooling around. I’m going to go back inside to check on the kids. You three go and help finish setting up.” And with that she stomped back into the house.

Serah watched her go and winced. “Do you think we went too far?” 

Fang chuckled. “No, she’s just annoyed because her costume is lame.”

“It is not lame!” Serah said. “It’s great.”

“Okay, maybe it isn’t lame – it is pretty nice to look at – but you have to admit, she got the short end of the stick here,” Fang said.

“She did not,” Serah protested.

“Actually,” Vanille said. “I kind of agree with Fang. I mean, Lightning is pretty awesome and so is Fang and, of course, I’m great, but…”

Serah pouted. “Oh come on, I’m not that bad.” She paused. “Am I?”

X X X

Lightning adjusted her skirt as she walked back into the house. By the Maker, how had Serah managed to walk around in this? It was like every gust of wind was determined to flip her skirt up. Damn it, she should have just dressed up as something else, but she just hadn’t been able to say no to Fang, especially not when Serah had gotten in on it too, her sister’s big blue eyes watering as she’d practically begged Lightning to participate in the gag. She should have learned by now that Serah could turn on the water works almost at will. 

And it wasn’t like Serah was really making a big sacrifice either. Not to blow her own horn too much, but Lightning was well aware of how awesome she looked in her usual outfit, whereas Serah’s outfit from their l’Cie days was hardly the kind to inspire awe, at least, not the right kind of awe. On the upside, at least the kids probably wouldn’t make fun of her.

“Okay,” Lightning shouted from the bottom of the stairs. “Are you all done changing yet?”

Lightning caught a flash of red out of the corner of her eye and stood still long enough for Diana to leap onto her back and clamber up so that they were cheek to cheek.

“I got you, mom!” Diana crowed. 

“Yes, you did.” Lightning pulled Diana off her back and tilted her head to one side. “Diana, what are you?”

Diana waved her arms about theatrically and the luxurious crimson cloak she was wearing flared outward like a nest of bloody shadows. “I’m a vampire…” Diana said with a growl. “A vampire… with a soul.”

“Okay.” Lightning made a mental note to always, always get Fang to check with her before letting the other woman put together the girls’ costumes. “But, why do you have a claw?” 

Diana held up the shiny golden plastic claw she wore over her left hand. “Because claws are cool.”

“Right.” Lightning supposed it made a little sense. In Diana’s mind, vampires were cool and so were claws, so naturally, the two just had to go together. “And why do you have a gun?” Diana opened her mouth to reply and Lightning rubbed her temples. “Wait, it’s because it’s cool, right?”

Diana nodded and brandished the toy triple barrelled pistol she had. “That’s right, mom!”

“And your mommy helped you come up with this?” Lightning asked. Diana nodded and Lightning felt a smile tug at the corner of her lips. At the very least, Fang and Diana had definitely had fun putting the costume together. “So, you’re a cool vampire, with a cool claw, and a cool gun. What about your sister?”

“Over there, mom,” Diana said, pointing at the top of the stairs.

Lightning stared. And then stared some more. “Averia… are you… Santa?”

Averia nodded and quickly climbed down the stairs. She was dressed in what was a fairly good approximation of Santa: fluffy boots, floppy hat, and red and white clothing. However, the toy gun blade she had slung over her shoulder was something that could only ever have come from attending one too many of their family’s Christmas parties. “I got the idea from you, mom.” She grinned and pointed her gun blade out to one side, her eyes glaring down along the length of the weapon. “I’m Santa and I’m here to give presents to the good kids and to punish all the bad kids.” She laughed. “Halloween is supposed to be scary, right? So I thought dressing up as Santa would be perfect.” 

“I see.” Lightning could already hear Fang laughing at her. Without doubt, the other woman would have found Averia’s logic hilarious. Well, it wasn’t her fault that the other l’Cie kept voting to have her play Santa each year. She scowled. They could always just have the party at Snow and Serah’s house, since they definitely had a chimney wide enough to fit Snow – Lightning had checked that herself. “Where’s Claire?”

A minute later, Claire came down the stairs and Lightning wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Claire was dressed like a miniature version of Snow, complete with trench coat, bandana, and gloves. The only thing out of place was her hair, which she opted to leave its natural pink shade.

“I’m daddy!” Claire said as she punched her hands and struck her most heroic pose. However, halfway through, she stopped and stared at Lightning. “Uh… Aunt Lightning, why do you look like that picture of mommy that daddy keeps in his wallet?”

Snow kept a picture of Serah dressed like this in his wallet? Lightning felt her eye twitch. She would definitely be having words with Snow later. “The others made me, now, why don’t you three head outside. The guests should be arriving soon.”

Outside, it wasn’t long before Fang sidled up to Lightning. 

“Hey there, pretty girl,” Fang said, wrapping one arm around Lightning’s middle and dropping the other toward the hem of her very short skirt. “Care to keep me company?”

Lightning rolled her eyes but made no move to break free. “Fang, why are our children dressed like that?” she asked, pointing to where the three girls had taken a spot over by the table with the junk food on it.

Fang smiled. “They thought it would be cool.” She pointed at Averia. “See how much you’ve warped out children’s minds?”

Lightning chuckled and gave Fang a gentle punch on the arm. “As if I’m the only whose warped their minds – you’re just as bad as I am.” She grinned. “I guess they do look pretty cool, but how exactly does a vampire get a soul?”

Fang’s lips quirked upward. “I think she got it from some television show or something.”

That was probably it, Lightning thought, before her attention was drawn back to the girls as Averia and Claire got into a rather noisy argument. They were, apparently, arguing as to whose parents were better. It was a pretty ridiculous argument to begin with, but the analogies the children were using had the adults around them in hysterics. Apparently, Fang and Lightning were the greatest parents in the history of forever, whereas Serah and Snow were the best thing since sliced bread. Adding to the sheer strangeness of the argument was the fact that it looked, for all intents and purposes, like Snow was getting into a shouting match with Santa Claus – a shouting match that was soon joined by a vampire in a red cloak.

“Arrr! Isn’t that a strange argument?” Lightning turned and winced as she saw that Snow had arrived – dressed as a pirate. “Have either of you two seen Serah?” he asked with a grin. “I’m off to steal myself some booty.”

Fang opened her mouth to say something, but Lightning quickly put one hand on her lips.

“Fang, if you even think of mentioning something about stealing my booty, I’ll make sure you don’t get any booty for a week.” Lightning’s voice brooked no disobedience and Fang gulped and nodded. “Good.”

“Spoilsport,” Fang muttered before a delighted laugh drew her eyes over to where Snow had finally found Serah. He was quick to sweep the younger Farron up in his arms and Fang found herself involuntarily reaching for a spear that wasn’t there as she took in the rather strange sight of Lightning kissing a pirate. “Look at that,” she said, pointing Lightning toward Snow and Serah. “Please tell me that I’m not the only one who finds that just a little bit weird.”

Lightning grimaced. The sight of someone dressed up as her kissing a pirate Snow was definitely weird. “It’s weird, all right.” A car pulled up in front of the house and she glanced over to it. “Oh, look, it’s the Kisaragis, we should go over and say hi.”

Lightning headed over to the front gate with Fang and opened it to let Godo and Kasumi Kisaragi inside.

“Good evening,” Kasumi said. “You’ve really done a wonderful job with all of this.” She looked around at the lawn. “It’s certainly got a nice Halloween feel to it.”

“Well, it took a bit of convincing to get Lightning on board, but you know how she is,” Fang said with a grin. “Once she’s decided to do something, she does it all the way.”

Kasumi laughed. “Yes, Godo is like that too.” The man beside her gave a curt nod that Lightning assumed passed for hello and then made a beeline for the refreshments. “I’m sorry,” Kasumi said. “He’s been a little surly since Yuffie nearly put out his eye with her shuriken this morning.”

“Shuriken?” Lightning asked.

“Yeah, this!” Yuffie hopped out from behind her mother and waved around a big plastic star. “Mommy made daddy get it for me, and I’ve been practicing it all day.” She grinned. “I almost got him in the head, but he ducked.”

“That’s… nice,” Lightning said. “Now, what are you dressed up as, Yuffie?”

Yuffie giggled and stepped into the shadows cast by some of the jack-o-lanterns. Dressed entirely in black and with a black cloth covering her nose and mouth, she was almost invisible. “I am the awesome ninja, Yuffie!”

Kasumi sighed and patted Yuffie on the head. “She’s been watching some shows on television, and she’s thoroughly convinced that ninjas are the greatest people in the universe.”

“Is that so?” It was things like this that made it very easy indeed to see why Yuffie and Diana were best friends. Mischief had a way of attracting more mischief. “Okay, Yuffie, why don’t you go and find, Diana? She should be over by that table there,” Lightning said, pointing to where the junk food was.

“Thanks, Mrs Yun-Farron,” Yuffie said.

Lightning chuckled. Yuffie was not, by nature, a particularly polite person. She had a tendency to come up with strange nicknames for people, but she had been trying hard to improve. Still, she did sort of agree that ‘stupid head’ was an appropriate way to describe Yuffie’s father, given that Godo Kisaragi was one of the most aggravating people that Lightning had ever dealt with. “Aren’t you polite.”

“Thanks,” Yuffie turned and ran off, only to stop halfway and turn around. “Uh, I’ll be with Diana, mommy.”

“That’s okay,” Kasumi said. “Have fun, okay?”

“I will, mommy,” Yuffie cried, waving her shuriken around and nearly putting out her father’s eye again as he headed back toward them with some drinks.

Smiling softly as Yuffie hurled herself straight at Diana, Kasumi took one drink from Godo and passed the others to Lightning and Fang. “Lightning,” Kasumi murmured. “Could I ask you a question?”

Lightning nodded. “Go ahead.

“Why is Averia dressed as Santa?” Kasumi asked.

Lightning sighed. “Because she thinks Santa can be scary.”

“I see.” Kasumi took a sip of her soda and then asked, more delicately this time, “And why does she have a gun blade?”

Lightning shot Fang a glare as the other woman bit back a laugh and then looked back at Kasumi. “It’s a long, long story.” She took a sip of her own soda. “And you’re probably going to need something a bit stronger than soda to get through it.”

“Ah.” Kasumi’s eyes were filled with understanding. “It’s one of those stories.” She paused and grinned at Godo. “Perhaps after you tell me about that, I can tell you about the time that Yuffie rappelled down the side of our house into our bedroom to steal Godo’s wallet.”

Lightning nodded eagerly It was nice to know that she wasn’t the only one with a somewhat unusual family. “Do tell.”

X X X

Diana giggled as she spun in a slow circle to let Yuffie see the full awesomeness of her costume. Halfway through, she even struck a pose with her claw extended and her gun pointed right at the other girl. “It’s really cool, isn’t it? My mommy helped me get everything for it.” 

Yuffie nodded enthusiastically. “It’s really, really cool.” She pulled down the cloth covering her nose and mouth so that Diana could see her grin. “You make a really good vampire.”

Diana’s eyes widened for a moment and then she threw her arms up into the air. “Finally, everyone keeps asking what I am. You’re the only who has gotten it so far.”

Yuffie nodded sagely. “It’s because I’m the only person as cool as you.” Her stomach let out a loud grumble and she waved her shuriken in the general direction of the food. “Let’s go get something to eat, I’m starving.” 

“We can go over there.” Diana pointed toward the table where the majority of the junk food was. “My mom said it was okay to eat junk food just for today, so I’m going to eat as much as I can.”

“Lucky,” Yuffie said. “My daddy didn’t want to let me eat any junk food, but my mommy made him say yes.” She scowled and then tucked the cloth back into place over her nose and mouth. “I think he’s still mad I almost poked his eye out with my shuriken.” She swung the shuriken around for added emphasis, and in the process nearly blinded at least three people who were walking past. “But if you ask me, I think it’s his fault for not ducking fast enough!”

“Definitely,” Diana agreed as they walked over to the table and sat down beside it. “Look, they’ve got corn chips, you want some?”

Yuffie happily found a plastic plate and piled on as many corn chips as she could. The flavour didn’t particularly matter, so much as the chance to stuff herself with as much junk food as she could in the shortest time possible. “You’re really lucky. I asked my mommy if we could throw a Halloween party, but apparently my daddy said it would be silly.” She bit into one chip with particular viciousness. “He’s such a stupid head sometimes.”

Diana grabbed some dip for her corn chips and winced at the taste of it. It was a little bit bland, but only her and mommy liked the really spicy dip, which meant that they normally got stuck with the bland kind, since that’s what her mom liked. “Well, my mom didn’t want to throw a Halloween party either, but then my mommy, Aunt Serah, and Aunt Vanille kind of made her.” She lowered her voice, looking around carefully to make sure that her mom wasn’t anywhere nearby. “My mom is really, really tough, but she can never say no to Aunt Serah, and she has a hard time saying no to Aunt Vanille too, especially when they both do this thing that makes their eyes go all watery.” Diana sighed. “I keep asking, but they won’t teach me how to do that. I can sort of do it though, just not as well.”

“My daddy is like that with my mommy,” Yuffie said. She piled some more corn chips onto her plate. “Sometimes, when we go shopping, my mommy sees something she really wants and since he’s so stingy, he says he won’t get it, but after she looks at him a bit, he always does.” She lifted her shuriken off the table. “He didn’t want to buy this either, but my mommy made him, even after he said he’d never, ever get it for me because it would be dangerous.”

They spent the next fifteen or so minutes eating close to their own body weight in junk food until finally Lightning headed over to talk to them.

“Don’t eat too much now, Diana,” Lightning said. “The party has only just parted, and there’s going to be lots more food later.”

“But it’s junk food, mom,” Diana said. “And you said I could eat as much as I want, so I will otherwise it’s like I’m losing.”

“Losing?” Lightning asked. “At what?”

Diana furrowed her brows. “You know… losing.”

“Yeah,” Yuffie said. “If she doesn’t eat enough junk food then she’ll lose for sure.”

“Okay.” Lightning looked distinctly unimpressed and Diana bemoaned the fact that as cool as her mom was, even she couldn’t understand the importance of winning the battle against healthy eating. Knowing her mom, she probably wanted her to eat vegetables or something. Yuck. “Anyway, Rikku just got here, so you two should go over and say hi.”

“Rikku is here?” Diana and Yuffie both pushed away from the table. “Where?”

Lightning smiled and pointed over toward the front gate. “Over there.”

Carrying their plates with them – both of which they’d refilled with junk food before leaving the table – Diana and Yuffie quickly ran over to the front gate. Rikku was there along with her cousin Yuna and her parents. Like Diana and Yuffie, Rikku was also in Miss Gainsborough’s class and unbeknownst to the three girls, their teacher had assumed almost mythical status amongst her fellow educators for not only being able to deal with all three of them, but for making it look easy too. 

“Rikku!” Diana shouted as she handed her plate of corn chips to Yuffie and tackled the other girl. “You’re here!”

“Get off me!” Rikku growled as she squirmed out of Diana’s grip and got back onto her feet. “You don’t have to tackle me, you know, and look.” She pointed. “Yuffie is eating your corn chips.”

“She’s what?” Diana said, turning quickly to where, sure enough, Yuffie had begun to make inroads on her corn chips. “Stop eating those, they’re mine.”

Yuffie shrugged and continued to eat Diana’s corn chips. “Not anymore, you gave them to me, which makes them mine.” Even so, she didn’t put up much of a fight when Diana snatched them back. “Spoilsport.”

Diana scowled at Yuffie and brandished her claw. “Don’t make me claw you, because I will.” She paused and then patted her pockets. They seemed lighter than before. “Hey, give back the candy I had in my pockets, Rikku!”

Rikku looked extremely unapologetic. “Drat.” She grinned. “But I’m getting quicker aren’t I?” She tilted her head to one side and pursed her lips. “Hey, Diana, what are you?” 

Diana pouted. “I’m a vampire. Why does everyone keep asking? It’s really, really obvious.”

Rikku shrugged. “Not really. I mean… vampires don’t really look like that.” She paused. “And I’m not sure they have claws and guns.”

“They do too!” Diana swung her claw at Rikku. “And what are you, anyway?”

Rikku grinned and tugged at the edges of the red robe she wore. Rather than wear it normally, she had one of her arms out of the sleeves. She also had a pair of glasses on along with a gourd at her waist. “I’m a monk.”

Diana looked distinctly unimpressed. “Monks don’t look like that.” She made a face. “They look more… monk-like, you know, like monks.”

“They do so look like this,” Rikku said. “My Uncle Braska said they do.”

“I suppose.” Diana looked at Yuffie and the other girl shrugged. Really, what was wrong with everyone? It was pretty obvious that she was a vampire and so what if she had a gun and a claw, it wasn’t like vampires could just go around biting everyone. What if the other people had guns and swords and stuff? “Hey, Rikku, what is Yuna supposed to be? She looks weird.”

Rikku’s brows furrowed. “Don’t make fun of Yunnie!” She took a breath. “She’s a Summoner. My Uncle Braska says that they used to be priests or something. It makes sense though, since we’re supposed to be scaring away the soul of the Cie’th.”

“I guess.” Diana said. “What do you think of Yuffie?”

Yuffie did a lazy cartwheel, somehow managing to keep her corn chips from spilling off her plate. “I’m a ninja… the awesome ninja Yuffie.”

Rikku giggled. “You look cool.” She looked past Yuffie and her eyes widened. “Hey, look, it’s Miss Gainsborough, we should go over and talk to her.” She paused. “And she looks really pretty in that pink dress.”

Diana nodded. “Yeah, but she looks lonely too, she’s just talking to that woman with the big…” she trailed off having learned from her mommy that completing her sentence would result in unfortunate consequences.

“The lady with the big boobs?” Yuffie said with a giggle. “Why don’t we sneak up on her? I bet you anything that I can do it better than you guys.”

Sneaking? Diana smirked. There weren’t many people around who were better at sneaking than she was. “Fine, we’ll do that.” She looked at Rikku. “Whoever can sneak up on Miss Gainsborough the best is the winner and has to… uh… give the others some candy or something.”

Rikku smiled and nodded. “Sounds good.” Then, more softly so that the others wouldn’t here, she added, “Especially since I don’t have any candy.” However, the others did turn to stare when she began to giggle just a little hysterically. “Uh, I just saw something really funny. Anyway, let’s go.”

Diana’s brows furrowed as the three of them split up. Although she was confident in her ability to sneak up on people, she couldn’t afford to get too comfortable. Both Yuffie and Rikku were pretty good at sneaking around, and Yuffie was dressed entirely in black, which would make it much easier for her. Still, she hadn’t spent the past two weeks sneaking up on her sister to lose now. 

There was one problem though. The three of them tried to sneak up on Miss Gainsborough all the time at school, but so far none of them had managed to do it. This party would be their best chance yet, but with Miss Gainsborough’s teacher powers, who knew if they’d be able to succeed? Hopefully, the sounds of the party would distract Miss Gainsborough enough to let her get close.

Diana slunk through the crowd, using groups of adults for cover. Along the way, her mommy spotted her, but she lifted one finger to her lips and then pointed at Miss Gainsborough. Her mommy must have understood, because she nodded and made a zipping motion over her lips. It was lucky that her mom hadn’t seen her, because she probably wouldn’t have liked her sneaking up on her teacher.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Rikku and Yuffie were closing in as well. The ninja was moving quickly from shadow to shadow, while Rikku had commandeered her Uncle Braska as a sort of moving wall to hide her from Miss Gainsborough’s view. Realising that she needed to speed up, Diana put on a burst of speed, but still couldn’t quite beat Yuffie to Miss Gainsborough. However, just as Yuffie was about to prod Miss Gainsborough in the back, their teacher stepped lightly to one side and then turned to poke Yuffie gently on the forehead.

Aerith’s smiled. “And just why are you trying to sneak up on me, Yuffie Kisaragi?” Her smiled broadened. “And why are Rikku and Diana doing it too?” With a grimace both girls stepped out into the open. “Are you all trying to scare me since its Halloween?”

It had to be the teacher powers, Diana thought, because how else could Miss Gainsborough have noticed all three of them? 

“How did you know we were there,” Yuffie whined as Aerith handed her a cup of juice from the table behind her. “I thought for sure I hadn’t made any noise.” Her eyes narrowed. “Do you really have teacher powers?”

Aerith’s eyes widened for a second and the woman beside her with dark brown hair laughed. That did interesting things to her chest, but Diana was still certain that her mommy’s chest was better – her mom certainly seemed to like her mommy’s chest. “Teacher powers? I suppose that’s one way to look at it.”

“Teacher powers, Aerith? I can’t say I’ve ever met someone with those before.” The other woman smiled, and it was a nice, warm smile. “You’ve got to tell me what those are some time.” She took a moment to adjust the gloves she wore before bending down to tighten the shoelaces on one of her high top sneakers.

“Who’s she?” Yuffie asked, pointing at the other woman.

“Well, aren’t you cute?” the other woman said. She reached over to ruffle Yuffie’s hair and the ninja did her best to look aggrieved at the action. “I’m Tifa. I’m helping out with the party tonight, since Lebreau couldn’t handle all of the catering herself.” She grinned. “Kids like you eat a lot, so she decided to put me in charge of drinks.”

“Oh.” Diana perked up. “Does that mean you have cordial?” Cordial was another thing that her mom didn’t usually let her have, but since it was okay to have junk food, it would probably be okay to have cordial too.

“I do,” Tifa said. “But that depends.” She grinned. “Are you allowed to have any?”

“I think so,” Diana said. “My mom said I could eat as much junk food as I wanted, so cordial should be okay too.” She had considered trying to trick Tifa, but with Miss Gainsborough around, that probably wouldn’t get very far. “My mom is over there,” she added, pointing over to where Lightning was talking with Rikku’s Uncle Braska.

“The colonel?” Tifa tilted her head to one side. “You must be Diana then.” Diana nodded quickly. “Well, if you think it would be okay, then I guess you can have some cordial.” She poured Diana a glass and handed it to her. “But if anyone asks, you beat it out of me, okay?” Tifa said with a grin.

Diana grinned back. Tifa seemed nice.

“How about you two, would you like anything to drink?” Tifa asked Yuffie and Rikku.

Yuffie paused, deep in thought, and then looked up. “I want some cordial too.”

Tifa nodded. “And are you allowed any?”

“Maybe,” Yuffie said evasively, but when Aerith looked at her, she cracked. “Okay, no.” She folded her arms over her chest and pouted. “My daddy thinks it will turn me into a monster.”

“Really?” Tifa’s burgundy eyes sparkled with amusement. “Cordial is going to turn you into a monster?”

Yuffie nodded seriously. “Yes, the last time I asked, he got really serious.” She made a face and deepened her voice. “Yuffie, he said, if you have any cordial then you’ll turn into some hyper little monster.” She paused and frowned, voice returning to normal. “But that can’t be right. Cordial doesn’t turn people into monsters.” She looked at Diana who was merrily drinking her cup of cordial and took a step back before she turned her gaze to Aerith. “Does it?”

“No, it does not.” Aerith chuckled. “But if your father said you can’t have any cordial, then we can’t give you any.”

“Drat.” Yuffie perked up. “How about wine? Can I have some of that?”

Aerith shook her head. “Wine is for grown ups, Yuffie.”

Yuffie sighed. “Fine, I guess I’ll have some juice then.”

Rikku giggled. “I’ll have juice too.” She poked Yuffie in the side. “That way Yuffie doesn’t feel all lonely.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Aerith said.

“Hey, Miss Gainsborough,” Diana said as she looked up from her cup of cordial. It was really sweet, but if she could find some sugar, she might be able to make it even sweeter… “Do you have any kids?”

Aerith shook her head. “No, I don’t. Why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s just that I think you’d make a really awesome mommy,” Diana said.

“Yeah!” Rikku and Yuffie said. “You’d be a great mommy.”

Diana raised one hand to her chin. “But you’d have to find someone to be the daddy first.” She paused. “Or the mom, I mean… I have two moms and Claire has a mommy and a daddy, so I guess it works either way.” She shrugged. “So which do you think you’d try to find for your kids, a daddy or another mom?”

Tifa guffawed as Aerith tried to rein in the colour creeping onto her cheeks. “Uh, Diana, that’s not really something you ask someone.”

“Oh.” Diana nodded. “But which one would you try to find?” Beside her, Yuffie and Rikku turned expectant eyes on Aerith.

“Well…”

“Yes, Aerith,” Tifa drawled. “Do tell.”

X X X

Lightning watched from a distance as Averia and Claire talked with Yuna. Although she was glad that Averia and Claire were as close as sisters, she had, in the past, been a little concerned about how few friends they had outside of the family. Yuna had been the very first friend they’d made outside of the family, likely due to the fact that she’d been the only person brave enough to approach them in kindergarten, and since then all three had continued to be in the same class. It probably helped that Yuna was a great deal calmer than both girls, and seemed to have no problems smoothing over their occasionally short tempers. Right now they were camped under one of the trees talking, and Lightning let her gaze linger for a few more moments before she heard a commotion out in front of the gate.

She took one look and then had to bite back a laugh. She had to hand it to Sazh. The man had said that he and Dajh would be making an impression, and they had certainly done that. Sazh was dressed as a ghost, complete with a white bed sheet with holes for eyes, and as the children near the front gate quailed, he let loose a series of scary noises. Right behind him was Dajh, who had chosen to come as Gary the Gorgonopsid. The bright orange of the costume somehow made him scarier as he took up a position behind his father, roaring and making clawing motions with his hands. As he caught sight of her and the other l’Cie, his eyes lit up. Lightning felt a stab of amusement as his gaze dropped to her legs before they quickly snapped back up to her face. Deciding that he probably didn’t need to be embarrassed – Fang would probably tease him senseless before the night was out – she pretended not to have noticed.

And then Chirpy came into view.

As impressive as Sazh and Dajh were, Chirpy was by far the best dressed out of the three of them. The chocobo had come as Bahamut, and somehow they’d managed to dye – hopefully temporarily – his feathers to match the silver, purple, and black of Fang’s Eidolon. Within moments, he was surrounded by a crowd of curious children, and it was a few minutes before he was able to get in through the front gate and amble over to where Diana, Averia, and Claire were.

Not surprisingly, all three girls’ eyes shone like all their Christmases had come at once. Averia and Claire quickly fell into step beside the chocobo, talking excitedly to him as Diana hung back, seemingly unsure of whether to go and grab Dajh/Gary first, or to try and climb onto the back of Chirpy/Mr Snaggles. It was, Lightning thought, probably one of the toughest decisions that her daughter had ever faced in her life.

Moving closer to help with crowd control, Lightning smiled as Diana finally settled on her approach. The girl wrapped one arm around one of Dajh’s legs and then practically dragged the poor young man over until she could wrap her other arm around one of Chirpy’s legs. Eyes wide with awe, she talked a mile a minute to Dajh, and Lightning had no doubt in her mind that Dajh had moved up at least several places on Diana’s list of awesome people. Of course, her spot as reigning number one wasn’t under much threat, but she wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Dajh had leapfrogged over Hope. 

“Can I ride him?” Averia asked loudly. “It’ll be easier to hunt down the bad children if I’m on a chocobo.”

Lightning chuckled. Trust Averia to think of that.

“No, I’m riding him first, everyone knows that vampires ride dragons,” Diana shouted back.

Really? That was certainly news to Lightning. Still, it would probably be better if she stepped in before things got out of hand. Putting on her best imperious scowl, she moved the crowd back and had them form something of an orderly line. Chirpy, of course, was only too happy to be the centre of so much adulation.

One by one, all the children at the party came forward to spend some time with the chocobo. They had probably all heard about him from Diana, Claire, or Averia, but this would be the first time that any of them actually met him. Lightning wasn’t the least bit surprised that all of the girls’ friends seemed to make a good impression on the chocobo. It was funny actually, Chirpy was probably the most popular person at the party and he wasn’t even human.

However, the calm couldn’t last forever. Rather unwisely, Sazh decided that it would be fun to try and sneak up on Averia. To his credit, he actually did manage to take her by surprise, but rather than screaming, the pink haired girl launched into a rough approximation of Lightning’s very own Army of One, complete with acrobatic flips and gun blade swipes. To the delight of the other children, Sazh managed to dodge through the barrage of attacks, but it was a close run thing. When Averia finally realised who she’d just attacked, she could scarcely control her embarrassment. Naturally, she denied being the least bit scared, although that didn’t stop her from shooting a scowl at Sazh every few moments.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Lightning said at last. “You’ve all had a chance to meet Chirpy now, so we should give him a break.” She looked at Sazh and Dajh. “I’m sure that Sazh and Dajh want to talk to some other people too.”

As the children wandered off, both Sazh and Dajh shot Lightning a grateful look before wandering off to find some refreshments. Alone with Chirpy, Lightning patted the chocobo on the head.

“You’re looking pretty impressive tonight, Chirpy.”

The chocobo gave her a long look and grinned. “Kweh.”

“Yes,” Lightning said. “I look ridiculous.” A gust of wind blew and she hurriedly put one hand down to keep her skirt from blowing up. “But you know how the others are.”

“Kweh.” Chirpy certainly did know how the others were. “Kweh. Kweh… Kweh.”

Lightning nodded. “Yes, I know, I could shoot them, but they are sort of my family.” She looked at the chocobo. “Do you think you could maybe peck Fang a little?”

“Kweh.” Chirpy paused and tilted his head to one side before nodding. “Kweh.”

“Hey, what are you two plotting?” Fang asked as she wandered over and took Lightning’s hand. “They’re going to start playing some music. You want to dance?”

Chirpy looked at Lightning and then his head darted forward to peck Fang on the arm. It wasn’t hard, barely more than a tap really, but he felt it got his point across. “Kweh!”

Fang looked from Lightning to Chirpy. “Great, you’ve turned the chocobo against me.”

Chirpy gave her a wry look. “Kweh.”

Lightning chuckled and let Fang lead her off. “Thanks,” she called, looking back over her shoulder. 

Chirpy nodded. Lightning always had the best treats for him when she visited, so it was the least he could do. Besides, she did look a little odd dressed as her sister. “Kweh.”

Over in the area set aside for anyone who wanted to dance, Lightning let Fang pull her close. Even though she wouldn’t trade anything in the world for their kids, it was true that Diana and Averia took up a great deal of their time. “It’s been a while since we’ve danced like this.”

Fang spun Lightning in a lazy circle. “True. We are a bit busier now than we used to be, but it’s a good kind of busy.” She looked meaningfully over to where the girls had once again crowded around Chirpy. “Still, we do try. Remember what happened last Friday?”

Lightning grinned and closed her eyes, letting Fang lead the dance. “Oh, I don’t think I could forget. I don’t know why I keep letting you, Vanille, and Lebreau vote for what we do when we all go out – it never ends well.” 

“Of course, it does,” Fang chuckled into Lightning’s ear and pulled the other woman flush against her body. “It wasn’t like we planned to wander into the middle of a bar fight, and you can’t tell me it wasn’t fun sorting everyone out.”

“Fun for you maybe,” Lightning said. “You weren’t the one who had to fill in all the arrest reports and paperwork.”

Fang grinned and pressed a kiss to Lightning’s ear. “I suppose, but you weren’t complaining when you were kicking that guy over the bar.”

Lightning scowled. “He tried to cop a feel, Fang.”

“And he got what he deserved.” Fang stopped and then began to laugh. “Hey, Lightning, look at that.” 

Lightning opened her eyes and looked over to where Serah and Vanille were dancing. With the way the two were dressed, Lightning couldn’t help but smile at the picture they made. Off to one side, Snow and Sazh were talking, and Lightning felt another smile tug at her lips. A pirate and a ghost, how oddly appropriate – except for the fact that both were holding a can of beer in one hand.

“Is Hope here yet?” Fang asked. “You said he was going to come, but I haven’t seen him around yet.”

Lightning nodded and let Fang spin her around again. She didn’t mind, but she had a feeling that Fang was doing it largely so that she could watch Lightning’s skirt flare out. “He had a shift tonight, so he only just got here.” She smoothed her skirt down and pointed over to where Lebreau and the others had begun to pile the candy for the kids. “Over there.”

Over by the large pile of candy – and watching over it with the eyes of a hawk – was Hope. Instead of his usual Guardian Corps uniform, he was dressed in a large black cape with a cowl and mask that covered his face.

“What is he?” Fang asked. “He looks like some kind of giant… bat or something.”

Lightning chuckled. “In Cocoon, there used to be this legend about a half-man half-bat creature that hunted down and punished criminals. They called it Batman.”

“Batman, huh?” Fang grinned. “Sounds like a scary guy, I’m not sure Hope can pull it off though.” Her grin widened as one of the kids took one look at Hope and ran screaming the other way. “Or maybe he can. Still, it’s good that Hope is the one watching over it, because if I know our kids…”

“They’ll try and steal it right out from under him,” Lightning said.

“Damn straight.” Fang eased away a little as a faster song started to play. “What do you say we give these people something else to stare at, Lightning?”

Lightning smirked. “Think you can keep up with me?”

Fang smirked back. “Oh, you bet I can.”

X X X

Averia looked across the yard and pursed her lips. With almost all of the adults dancing, this was the perfect time to try something. She had hoped to be able to go trick-or-treating. Everyone in the neighbourhood loved Halloween, so she normally came back with a pretty good haul. She’d even brought her Santa sack along just for that. But since they were throwing a party, she hadn’t had any time to go trick-or-treating, which meant she’d just have to get her candy some other way. However, that wouldn’t be easy, not with her Uncle Hope watching it, probably under orders from her mom. What she needed was a plan.

“We need to work out how to get that candy,” Averia said to Claire and Yuna.

“I know,” Claire said. “Junk food is great and everything, but candy is better.”

Yuna, however, was less enthusiastic. “Can’t we just ask for some?”

Averia looked at Yuna. She liked the other girl. Yuna was kind and gentle, and definitely trustworthy. Even better, she was one of the few people who didn’t get all weird after finding out who Averia’s parents were. When it came to plotting though, Yuna probably wasn’t the best person to ask. “I’ve already been to get candy three times. I know I won’t be able to get much more.” She grinned roguishly – an expression that she’d learned could get her mommy almost anything. “Besides, just think of it as trick-or-treating with a difference.”

“I suppose.” Yuna didn’t want to plot, but the thought a little extra candy was very tempting. Besides, her cousin Rikku was always saying she needed to act more her age. “But we better not get caught, my dad wouldn’t be happy if that happened.”

“Don’t worry,” Averia assured her. “We won’t get caught, not if we plan right.”

“Plan what right?” Averia turned and nearly whacked Yuffie in the head with her toy gun blade when the younger girl swung out of the tree above them and landed lightly on the ground. She was dressed entirely in black, which was probably why Averia hadn’t noticed her. “What are you plotting? You were plotting stuff right?” As she said that, Diana and Rikku hopped out of the tree as well and turned hopeful eyes toward Averia.

Averia winced. She hadn’t exactly planned on this, but the younger girls would definitely come in handy. They were certainly sneaky enough. “Okay,” she said after a bit of thinking. “Maybe you can help us.” Quickly, she outlined the situation to the three younger girls, and she wasn’t surprised at all when all three quickly agreed to help. “Now, we can split the candy according to body weight.”

“Nope,” Diana said. “We split it equally.” She made a face and waggled one finger in front of Averia. “You tried that one on me last week. It doesn’t matter if we’re smaller, we can still eat just as much candy as you.”

Good, Averia thought, Diana was learning. She might pick on her little sister sometimes, but that was only because it was the best way to teach her a lesson. Once she’d used a trick on Diana, then no one else could use it on her. “Fine.” She paused to think. “Here’s what we’ll do.” She pointed at Hope. “Uncle Hope is pretty smart, and he’s tough like mom, so we can’t just run up there and steal the candy.” She frowned. “We need a distraction.” She looked at Yuna and grinned. “Yuna, you’re the most trustworthy. You can be the distraction. Ask him about his costume or something and he’ll definitely explain it to you.”

Claire bit her lip. “That won’t hold him for long, and he’ll be expecting something like that.”

“Exactly,” Averia said. “That’s when Rikku and Diana try and sneak past him.”

“But we’ll never get past him,” Diana said, “Not if he’s expecting us.”

“No, you won’t, but you don’t have to.” She pointed at Yuffie. “That’s when Yuffie, Claire, and I all sneak in from different directions and get the candy. He’ll be so busying dealing with you two that he won’t notice us. Even if he does, at least one of us has to get through.”

Yuffie looked at Averia with newfound respect. “Can we be friends?”

Averia’s eyes widened for a moment. “I guess.”

“Cool.” Yuffie grinned and pointed at her father. “You need to help me plan something to get my daddy.” At Averia’s curious look, she clarified. “He’s a stupid head.”

“Right…” Averia looked at the others. “Okay, if you all understand what’s happening, let’s go.”

A few minutes later, Averia watched carefully from the shadows as Yuna walked up to her Uncle Hope. In typical Yuna fashion, it wasn’t long before Hope was smiling and explaining his costume to her. Signalling to Diana and Rikku, she waited anxiously as the pair tried to sneak past. Just as she’d expected, both were quickly caught. However, it was also the opening she’d been waiting for as her Uncle Hope dragged the pair off to lecture them. Quickly, she, Claire, and Yuffie sprang into motion.

They didn’t get far.

There was a swirl of plaid fabric before a firm, but gentle hand clamped down on Averia’s shoulder. “What do you think you’re doing?” Lightning asked.

Averia looked around and winced. Yuffie had chosen to retreat the moment that Lightning had appeared, while Claire seemed intent on trying to blend in with the grass. “Uh, nothing.” Averia smiled innocently. “Are you having fun at the party, mom?”

Lightning raised one eyebrow. “Don’t play dumb with me, Averia. I saw all of you plotting while I was dancing with your mommy.”

“Oh.” Averia scowled. She should have thought of that.

Lightning’s eyes softened and she looked over to where Claire was desperately trying to will herself invisible. “I was talking with your mommy, and we both understand how much you were looking forward to trick-or-treating, so why don’t you and Dajh go the convenience store and pick out some more candy? I know it’s not the same, but maybe you can take Chirpy with you.”

“Really?” Averia wasn’t about to turn down a chance to ride Chirpy, especially not when it involved getting candy. “Thanks!”

Lightning nodded and reached out to ruffle Averia’s hair. “For the record, Averia, it was a pretty good plan, but next time… don’t plot out in the open – both your mommy and I have very good hearing.”

With that Lightning walked off. Claire got back to her feet, apparently convinced that she’d managed to evade detection. “Wow, she didn’t see me.”

“Of course, she saw you,” Averia replied with a roll of her eyes as the others quickly appeared now that things seemed to be okay. “You could have helped, you know.”

The others just shrugged.

“We thought you could handle it.”

X X X

The owner of the convenience store around the corner from the Yun-Farron household had seen a lot of strange things in his life. He’d served a few years in the Guardian Corps, but it wasn’t until the move to Gran Pulse that things had gotten really strange.

For instance, there was the time that Oerba Yun Fang – the Oerba Yun Fang – had turned up at four o’clock in the morning to buy ice cream. The look on her face had been a mix of panic and terror, and he had been sorely tempted to ask just what could terrify one of the legendary l’Cie so badly. Then, just a few weeks ago, she’d turned up with a hamster perched on her shoulder. If that weren’t strange enough, she’d then let the little fellow down to choose his own brand of pet food.

But there was more.

Just under an hour ago, Lieutenant Hope Estheim had walked in dressed like… well… Batman. However, the strangest thing he’d ever seen so far was actually something else. It was the time almost a decade ago when Colonel Lightning Farron had come riding down the street on Odin with murder in her eyes in pursuit of Snow Villiers who was on Shiva. She’d been screaming something about how she was going to kill Snow for getting her sister pregnant, and from the look in her eyes, it was a very, very fortunate thing indeed that Shiva was fast enough to keep Snow out of harm’s way, although not by much. Things like that probably would have disturbed most people, but at his age, a little excitement was something to look forward to.

Tonight, however, he finally had a challenger for the title of strangest thing he’d ever seen.

A chocobo with purple, silver, and black feathers had just pulled up outside his convience store. On its back were Gary the Gorgonpsid and… Santa. And by the Maker, why was Santa carrying a gun blade? Morbidly curious, he waited eagerly for the pair to enter the store.

“Evening,” he said, waving to the pair. He looked at Santa. Oh, it was little Averia. “Hello, Averia.”

“Evening,” Averia replied. 

“What’ll it be tonight?” the owner of the convenience store asked. “Have you run out of drinks or something at that party your parents are throwing?”

Averia’s eyes narrowed and she pointed the gun blade at him. “Where do you keep your candy?”

He chuckled and pointed. “Down the back over there.”

“Thanks.” Averia darted toward the back of the store.

“So,” the owner of the convenience store said, “You’re Dajh Katzroy, right?”

Dajh nodded. “Yes, that’s me.”

The owner nodded. “You’re dressed as Gary the Gorgonopsid.”

Dajh chuckled. “Yes, I am.” He paused. “Diana really likes Gary.”

The owner nodded. “Yes, she does.” He leaned across the counter. “She always tries to get her parents to by the Gary brand chocolate bar whenever they go past.”

“That sounds like her.” Dajh leaned over to take a look down the back. Averia was filling her arms with bags of candy.

“Say, that chocobo out the front… is that the one that was on your father’s journey?” the owner asked.

Dajh grinned. “That’s right. His name’s Chirpy. He wanted to dress up as Bahamut, so we dyed his feathers. It’s only temporary though.”

“He wanted to dress up as Bahamut?” the owner asked.

“Yes.” Dajh chuckled. “Trust me, he’s a smart chocobo.” His eyes widened as Averia came back and dumped her haul of candy on the counter. “You’re getting all that?”

Averia nodded. “Yes, mom said it was okay to buy some.”

“Some,” Dajh quipped. “Not the whole store.” That earned him a scowl. “Fine, fine, I’ll get it.”

The owner rang up the purchase. “Do you want a bag for all of that?”

Averia plonked her sack onto the counter. “Just put it in there.” She looked outside to where Chirpy was waiting patiently, nodding every now and then to the occasional passerby who stopped and stared. “We should probably get something for Chirpy too.”

Dajh laughed. “All right, go find something for Chirpy.” He turned to the owner. “Kids, right?”

The owner laughed. “Kids.”

A minute later, and Dajh and Averia were done. The owner managed to keep a straight face until they had ridden off on Chirpy. After that, he dropped to his knees and laughed until his sides hurt.

He had the best job in the world. After all, who else got to see the things he did?

X X X

It was late in the night when Amodar finally showed up. Lightning excused herself from the conversation she was in and went over to greet him. Since the Fall of Cocoon, he’d been promoted even further than she had. As a general, he was one of the few people who held seniority over her in the Guardian Corps, and she’d been worried that he wouldn’t be able to attend due to his duties. That would have been a shame. With her own parents dead, Amodar had become something of a grandfather to the kids in much the same way that Sazh had. 

“I’m glad that you could make it, sir.”

Amodar chuckled. “Still calling me ‘sir’ after all these years, Lightning.” He accepted a glass of water and led them over to a pair of chairs where he sat down with an exaggerated sigh. “Watching those kids of yours running around definitely makes me feel my age.”

“In all fairness, sir, they are currently running on at least a year’s worth of candy and cordial.” Her gaze turned serious. “And you’re not that old, sir.” Now that she looked at him, he was starting to look a little under the weather, but she refused to think that he might actually be getting on in years. He was fine.

“Relax,” Amodar said as he gave her a playful slap over the shoulder. “I don’t plan on dying any time soon, and given that I’m pretty much a desk jockey now, it’s not that likely anyway.”

“I hardly think a general could be described as a desk jockey, sir,” Lightning said.

He chuckled. “Trust me, all I do these days is push paper.” He flexed his arms. “Still, I have to admit, it is a nice change not worrying about some wild animal trying to bite my face off.” He looked back at the kids. “You know, if someone had told me all those years ago that my scary, aloof sergeant could have a family like this, I wouldn’t have believed them.” He smiled. “I’m glad that I was wrong.”

Lightning took a sip of her own water and watched as the children engaged in a mock battle. “I wasn’t exactly the friendliest person back then, sir.”

“No, no, you weren’t, but things change, sometimes for the better.” He smiled as Diana and Averia engaged Rikku and Yuna in an epic battle pitting a vampire and Santa against a Summoner and a monk. “But I will say this, you and the others, you deserve this happiness – all of you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Amodar eased up onto his feet. “Think you can give me a hand? Diana challenged me to a fight, and I’m not sure these old bones of mine are up to it.” He cracked his knuckles. “It’ll be like old times.”

Lightning grinned. “Of course, sir.”

X X X

Later that night – or rather, early the next morning – Fang smiled as she and Lightning carried the girls up to bed. They’d partied the whole night away before finally succumbing to exhaustion after all of their friends had left. With the clean up all but finished, it was time for them to put the girls to bed before turning in themselves.

“That was some party, wasn’t it?” Fang asked.

Lightning nodded. “It was all right.”

Fang smiled and shot Lightning a teasing look. “Do it again next year?”

“I suppose we could,” Lightning said. “But only if I get to dress up as something different.”

“Okay.” Fang shifted Diana in her arms and pried the bedroom door open before putting the girl into her bed. “How about you dress up as me and I can dress up as you.” 

Lightning put Averia into her bed and walked toward the bedroom door. “You’re horrible, you know that, Fang?”

Fang shut the bedroom door and tugged Lightning into the corridor. “But you love me anyway, right?”

Lightning pretended to think very hard. “I suppose I do.”

“Good.” Fang pulled something from behind her back and put it on her head. “Otherwise, you’d kill me for doing this.”

“That’s a pirate hat, Fang.” Lightning tilted her head to one side. “And where did you even hide it, anyway?”

“Trade secret.” Fang smirked and struck what she hoped was a suitably pirate-like pose. “Arrr… I don’t suppose it’s too late for me to get some sweet, innocent booty, is it, me lady?”

Lightning rolled her eyes but made no move to stop Fang from lifting her into her arms. “I hardly think anyone would call me sweet, Fang, and after all the thing’s we’ve done, I’m far from innocent.” She sighed. “But I suppose you could get some booty.” 

Fang headed toward their bedroom. “Good, I’ll make sure to shiver yer timbers then.”

Lightning laughed and pulled Fang into a kiss. “You’d better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off this.
> 
> About two weeks ago, I was mulling over some possible ideas for a Halloween chapter, when I pictured Serah and Lightning dressing up as each other with Fang and Vanille doing the same. From there, it was only natural for me to start wondering what everyone else would be dressing up as and from that this chapter was born.
> 
> Now, I will say that I was hesitant about including characters from other Final Fantasy games in this chapter. With the exception of Aerith’s cameo in an earlier chapter, they really haven’t appeared much, but I really needed more people for this chapter to work, and rather than coming up with a bunch of OCs, I decided to just run with characters from other Final Fantasy games. However, I am curious to know what you think of my decision. 
> 
> Now, for those of you who missed it, I am going to put up a list of what some of the characters dressed up as:
> 
> Lightning = Serah  
> Serah = Lightning  
> Fang = Vanille  
> Vanille = Fang  
> Snow = Pirate  
> Sazh = Ghost  
> Dajh = Gary the Gorgonopsid  
> Diana = Vincent Valentine  
> Averia = Santa Claus… with a vengeance  
> Claire = Snow  
> Yuffie = Ninja… an awesome ninja  
> Rikku = Auron  
> Yuna = Herself from FF X, i.e., the Summoner’s costume  
> Aerith = Herself from Advent Children  
> Tifa = Herself from Advent Children
> 
> On another note, I wasn’t sure what Yuffie’s mother was named, so I did a bit of searching. Like I expected, she isn’t mentioned in any of the games by name, but in the Final Fantasy VII Ultimania Omega Guide, she is apparently listed as being named Kasumi (reference: The Final Fantasy Wiki), so I guess you learn something new every day.
> 
> Compared to the other chapters, this one has probably undergone the most revision. In fact, there are multiple scenes (e.g., the first scene and Lightning’s talk with Chirpy) that did not appear in the first draft, but appeared in the second (final) draft. On the whole, I think it went reasonably decently, but again, I’m curious to know what you think. I had considered spinning this off into its own story (e.g., like with A Very Farron Christmas) but decided against that because this is a story about the Yun-Farron family as much as it is one featuring some Halloween related things.
> 
> Oh, and this is now the longest chapter of Ordinary Heroes, although there is at least one chapter from Stetesons and Fal’Cie that is longer, and I think one chapter from Sailor Moon: Requiem of Silence is longer as well, but hey, I made you guys wait a while for an update, so I might as well make it a big one.
> 
> Finally, an invisible internet cookie for everyone who spots all the references to anime, television and video games. There are a quite a few in there, but that’s what makes it fun.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	8. Homework 101

**Homework 101**

Fang unlocked the front door and slowly pushed it open. Tentatively, she took a peek inside, but to her immense surprise, she was actually able to walk through the doorway unscathed. Usually, the second she was through the door, she would end up with an armful of overly enthusiastic Diana. The girl seemed to know the exact moment that Fang came home, and was almost always there to greet her with a flying tackle, not to mention a loudly babbled explanation of how her day had been, complete with futuristic sound effects and wild gestures.

Lately though, Fang had been finding it a little more difficult than she would like to keep on her feet when Diana did that. Maybe it was because, in the fashion of children everywhere, Diana was growing with all the tenacious swiftness of a weed. However, it could also be due to the fact that Diana had recently added a run up to her flying tackle, one that turned her into a giggling brunette comet.

More than a little curious now as to why her usual welcome was missing, Fang closed the front door behind her and tiptoed toward the dining room. Almost immediately, her nose picked up the smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen, which meant that Lightning was definitely already home. Still moving as quietly as she could, she paused just shy of the entrance to the dining room and peeked around the corner.

Her children were both at the dining table doing their homework, but the contrast between them could not have been greater. Averia’s mouth was firmed into a thin line as she scowled at the notebook in front of her so intensely that Fang almost pitied whatever was on the page. Diana, however, was the complete opposite. With a cute frown of concentration on her face, the younger of the two girls was kicking her legs in the air as she hummed what only vaguely resembled an extremely off key version of the Gary the Gorgonopsid theme song. 

Fang made a disgusted sound. One of these days she was going to pay the people responsible for Gary the Gorgonopsid a little visit. When she did, she’d be sure to kill them slowly and painfully. She’d have to be sneaky about it though, because Diana would not be pleased if she found out that Fang was responsible for the cancellation of her favourite television show. Still, if Fang had to put up with another inane song about how all animals were friends, or about how orange was the greatest colour in the universe, she was going to snap. 

“Evening, you two,” Fang said as she stepped into the dining room. “Didn’t you hear the front door opening? I kind of miss having you two there to greet me.”

Immediately, two pairs of eyes swung her way.

Never one to indulge in too frank a display of affection for anyone except for maybe Chirpy or her sister, Averia put down her pen. “Welcome home, mommy.” She smiled. “I hope you had a good day.”

“Mommy!” Diana shouted as she chose to adopt a more physical approach. In a great display of agility, she slipped out of her chair, took a few quick steps, and then hurled herself at Fang. “You’re home!”

“Gah!” Fang stumbled back as Diana cannoned into her middle. By the Maker, the girl was starting to get big. Somehow managing to keep upright, Fang swung Diana around in a lazy circle through the air before she set the girl back on her feet. “Good evening to you too, kiddo.” She reached down and with an overly dramatic groan of effort hoisted Diana up onto her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “You’re getting really heavy, you know. Now, how about you let me take a look at your homework. I can’t let your mom do all the work.”

Diana kicked her legs in the air and squirmed. “I got a really interesting assignment today. Miss Gainsborough gave all of us diaries and I’ve already written a lot in mine.”

“Is that right?” Fang plonked Diana back into her seat and reached for one of her own, but the little girl stopped her.

“You don’t need an extra seat, mommy,” Diana said. “We can share.” She patted her lap as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m always sitting in your lap, so maybe this time you can sit in mine.”

Fang chuckled. “That’s probably not a good idea.” Fang didn’t have an ounce of excess weight on her, but even so she’d probably squash Diana flat if she tried to sit on the girl’s lap. Still smiling, she lifted Diana up and sat down before she settled Diana onto her lap. “Here, this is better.”

“But it’s not fair if I’m always the one sitting on your lap,” Diana said. She looked across the table at Averia. “Tell mommy it’s not fair, Averia.”

Averia winced. “Actually, I think mommy is right.” Fang grinned. No doubt, Aveira had just tried to visualise what things would look like with Fang sitting on Diana’s lap, which couldn’t have been a pretty sight. “Besides, that’s how things work. You’re the kid, so you get to sit on mommy’s lap, not the other way around.”

“I guess.” Diana looked a little disappointed, but Fang gave Averia a small nod. Really, the older of the two girls was probably the only person in the world who truly understood what went through Diana’s head sometimes. Certainly, there were times when Fang and Lightning struggled. For instance, just the other day, when Fang had gone to school to pick them up, Diana had asked her to summon Bahamuth. The reason: so that two of her favourite people, Mr Snaggles and Mr Cuddles, could meet and become friends. Averia had come to the rescue, pointing out that Mr Snaggles was probably very busy hunting down all sorts of evildoers. That wasn’t exactly true, but neither Averia, or Fang wanted to be the one to point out that Bahamuth would either scare Mr Cuddles to death, literally, or possibly eat him.

“Mommy,” Diana said as she reached down to poke Fang in the thigh. “If I’m going to sit in your lap, you need to sit properly.” She grumbled and squirmed a little more. “Come on, mommy, sit properly.”

Fang poked Diana in the forehead. “You know, I’m doing you a favour letting you sit in my lap, so you really shouldn’t complain.” She reached over for Diana’s diary and opened it.

“But… but you heard what Averia said. You’re my mommy. You have to let me sit in your lap, and you have to make it comfy. If you don’t then you’re just being mean.” Diana looked utterly scandalised.

“Is that how it works?” Fang asked, shooting Averia a wry look.

Averia just shrugged. “Yes, that’s how it works.” In other words, Fang had dug her own grave inviting Diana to sit on her lap, and Averia wasn’t much inclined to help. Fang grinned. Averia was so very much like her mother when she acted like that. Of course, Lightning was usually a little more sadistic about things like this, but then again, Averia was still a child.

“But what about you?” Fang asked as she clasped her hands together and gave Averia a distraught look. “You hardly ever sit on my lap anymore. With just Diana on it, my lap sometimes gets a little lonely.” In her lap, Diana nodded firmly. 

Averia’s eyes narrowed a fraction. “Really? Then maybe I should go sit on your lap now.” She got up. “Move over, Diana, and I think we can both fit…”

Fang’s grinned. Trust Averia to call her bluff. “Well, maybe not right now since I’m about to take a look at your sister’s diary. But the next time we got to the movies…” Her grin widened as Averia visibly shuddered. Over the past year or so, Averia had begun to develop what Fang liked to refer to as ‘Lightning Syndrome’, an extreme aversion to displays of physical affection, especially in public. 

Fang’s grin slipped a little. It probably wouldn’t be too many more years before Averia started thinking about dating and all that kind of thing. Fang really wasn’t looking forward to that. Frankly, there just wasn’t anyone good enough for her little girl and if any boy – or girl – tried to get their grimy little hands on her, she’d probably have to spear them and then find somewhere to dump the body. Then again, she could always just get Bahamuth to eat them. Still, it wasn’t all bad news. Averia liked to know as much as possible about something before she did it, so she would likely have a lot of questions about dating and love. It would be downright hilarious to shunt all of that off on Lightning and then step back to watch the ensuing train wreck. Or at least it would be fun to watch until Lightning realised what Fang had done and banished her to the couch for the rest of their married lives.

“I am not sitting on your lap, mommy! And definitely not at the movies!” Averia squawked, a deep blush on her face. “I’m too old to be sitting on your lap anymore.”

“Well, your cousin Claire still sits on your Uncle Snow’s lap,” Fang said with a melodramatic sigh. On her lap, Diana once again nodded in agreement. She was definitely on Fang’s side when it came to sitting on laps. Laps were warm and comfortable and for someone small like her, they were just right. “It’s only me whose lap doesn’t get sat in by all her kids.” Fang covered her face with her hands and gave Averia a look of utterly fake sorrow. “Poor me.”

Diana gave Fang’s leg a gentle pat. “It’s okay mommy, I’m still here”

“Mommy!” Averia wailed. “Don’t… don’t do that thing with your eyes and…” She made a frustrated sound. “You always tease mom like this and it’s not going to work on me.” Fang gave Averia another pathetic look and the girl took a step back. “I’m telling you that’s not going to work and… besides, Uncle Snow is huge, so it’s no wonder that Claire can still sit in his lap without it looking weird.”

Well, Averia did sort of have a point about that. Fang might be quite tall, but Snow was on a different level entirely. Heck, he could probably fit both Serah and Claire in his lap at the same time. She chuckled. Claire could sit in Serah’s lap who could then sit in Snow’s lap. They could be a lap-sitting pyramid.

“Fine, if you really don’t want to sit in my lap, I suppose you don’t have to.” Fang smirked. “But you still have to hug me. I’m not letting you turn into the emotional equivalent of a hedgehog like your mother.” She glanced down at Diana. “So, how about we read your diary now?”

Diana grinned. “Okay, but make sure you look at the pictures too. They’re really important.”

Fang looked down at the page in front of her. Covering almost the entire page was a picture that seemed to include virtually everyone that Diana knew. In the middle were the four members of their family, and arranged around them were the other l’Cie and their families. Even the Eidolons were there, along with Diana and Averia’s friends. It was all drawn pretty nicely actually, which was something of a surprise since neither she or Lightning could draw to save their lives, and Averia was not much better. 

On the next page, the diary began in earnest, and Fang soon felt another grin tug at the corners of her lips.

_Day 1._

_Today, Miss Gainsborough gave me this diary. I wanted one with an orange cover, but she only had ones with black covers. I think black is lame. Orange is much better, but pink is good too, or maybe blue, or green. But she only had black. Yuck. Yuffie said I should paint the cover orange, but I think that’s dumb. The paint would make a big mess and then I’d get in trouble. Then Yuffie would probably laugh at me._

_When Yuffie got her diary, she didn’t it like either because she wanted a blue one. When Miss Gainsborough wasn’t looking, she got some paint and tried to make it blue, but the paint got everywhere. Miss Gainsborough wasn’t happy. She gave Yuffie detention and made her clean it all up. Rikku and me laughed. It was really funny. Miss Gainsborough said we were being mean and made us stay back to help Yuffie._

_When we were helping, Yuffie threw some paint at me for laughing. I didn’t like that, so I threw some paint back at her. Then Rikku threw some at both of us. After that, Miss Gainsborough gave Rikku and me detention too. Yuffie laughed at us. She said it was really funny, but it wasn’t. I threw more paint at her._

_While were in detention, I talked to Mr Cuddles. People think he can’t talk because he’s a hamster, but that’s wrong. He can talk and he told me he wanted to go outside. When I told Yuffie and Rikku, they said we should sneak him outside, but I said no. There were a lot of birds outside and Mr Cuddles isn’t very big. One of the birds might carry him away and eat him. I saw that happen on TV yesterday when a big bird carried away a baby gorgonopsid and ate it. That made me really sad, and I don’t want a bird to eat Mr Cuddles. I told Yuffie about that and she said that if a bird tried to get Mr Cuddles, she’d get the bird with her shuriken. She’s not supposed to have it at school, but she’s really good at hiding things._

_I don’t have a shuriken, but maybe I could throw my shoe at the bird instead. I once got hit in the head by a shoe when we were playing and it hurt a lot. Maybe I should ask my mom for one of the shoes she has, the ones with long pointy bits for the heel. I could probably poke a bird really well with those. But I don’t think my mom will give me those shoes because my mommy really likes to see her wear them. She stares at my mom’s legs a lot and sometimes my mom hits her on the head and tells her to stop it, but I can tell she kind of likes it when my mommy looks. I think it’s weird. My mom’s legs are boring. They’re just legs. Maybe it would be cooler if she had claws or something. My mom is already cool, so claws would just make her super cool._

“Mommy!” Diana said. “Stop shaking, I’m going to fall off your lap!”

Fang finally managed to swallow her laughter. Honestly, the things kids came up with. Still, the diary entry did explain why there were little flecks of blue paint in Diana’s hair. However, what really got her was the thought of Diana going after a bird with one of Lightning’s high heels. Note to self though: she would definitely have to leer a little less openly at Lightning’s legs when the kids were around. But who could blame her? They weren’t just legs, although it would be a while yet before Diana understood that.

Fang looked down at Diana. “You know, we do make sure that there aren’t any dangerous animals near town, and that includes really large birds.” She paused. “But you were right not to take Mr Cuddles without permission. He isn’t very big, so it wouldn’t be hard for something to get him, or for him to get lost.” 

Diana nodded and then gave Fang a searching look. “Wait, mommy… the animals that were dangerous… did you… did you spear them?” Diana’s blue eyes were wide and watery, and her lower lip was trembling.

Good grief, Fang thought. That look she should be considered a weapon. She was just lucky that Lightning had too much dignity to pull a look like that too often otherwise Fang would never win any of their arguments. “Uh… no,” Fang lied. In truth, there had been more than a little spearing and quite a lot of shooting. There were dangerous animals all over Gran Pulse, and no shortage of flying animals big enough to carry off small children, and there was no way they could be allowed to settle near town. To be fair, they had tried to relocate them, but some had either refused to move or come back repeatedly and that had left the town’s protectors with little choice but to deal with them the hard way. Of course, she wasn’t about to tell Diana that. Diana loved animals, even the scary ones with lots of teeth – especially the scary ones with lots of teeth. “Okay, how about I keep reading. You really did write a lot.”

_Miss Gainsborough said that we could write about anything we wanted. I don’t know what to write about, so I will write a bit about my family. The picture on the front page is of all the people in my family. I am really lucky because my family is really big and everyone loves each other very much. But sometimes I think my mom doesn’t like my Uncle Snow. She glares at him a lot until my Aunt Serah pokes her. Then she stops, but when my Aunt Serah isn’t looking, she glares at him some more. I think she is trying to kill him with her eyes. I saw that happen on TV once, but my mom can’t shoot lasers from her eyes, so I don’t think it will work. My mom would be really cool if she had eye lasers._

Fang gave Diana’s hair a gentle pat. It was good to know that Diana considered all of the people in the picture her family because really, that’s what the former l’Cie were – a family, albeit a strange, freaky, dysfunctional one, but a family all the same. Still, she wasn’t quite sure what to make of the fact that Diana had included Gary in the picture. Did an imaginary orange Gorgonopsid really count as family? Then again, was that any weirder than including Bahamuth or Odin as part of the family?

There were a few differences of course. The Eidolons were real, whereas Gary was a cartoon. It was silly to put him on the same level as legendary beings like Bahamuth or Odin, but maybe… maybe that was okay. Diana was a kid and kids should be able to dream and come up with silly things. Kids shouldn’t ever have to deal with the sorts of things that Fang and Vanille had suffered through, or that Lightning and Serah had been forced to confront. Reality could be cruel at the best of times, and if Diana wanted to believe that somewhere out there a bright orange gorgonopsid was singing around a campfire with a fluorescent blue Behemoth King then that was okay. Fang would make it okay.

On a less serious note, however, Fang had to admit that she kind of agreed with Diana. Sometimes it really did seem like Lightning was trying to kill Snow with her eyes, although thankfully for him, Lightning had yet to unlock the ability to shoot lasers from her eyes. And that was a good thing too, because Fang would probably be one of the first people to die to if the pink haired woman ever developed any ocular weaponry. It would also probably a good idea if she and Lightning kept a closer eye on what the girls watched on television. By the sounds of it, Diana had taken to watching some of the robot cartoons that had become popular lately. Fang shuddered. Hopefully, Diana would never ask the others if their Eidolons could combine into some kind of super Eidolon. It had been a while since Fang had brushed up on the subtleties of her clan’s religious beliefs, but it had to be a crime against the Maker to try and form a combining robot out of Eidolons.

Looking across the table, Fang saw Averia give her a sympathetic look. Her other daughter must already have read through the diary. With a quick nod in Averia’s direction, Fang turned her attention back to the page in front of her. For someone so little, Diana had written an almost ridiculous amount.

_My mom’s name is Lightning. She is part of the Guardian Corps and in town, she tells everyone what to do. Even my mommy listens to her, and she never listens to anyone else. My mom really likes her job, but sometimes she gets annoyed when she has a lot of paperwork, or when there are a lot of new people to train. When she’s annoyed, she and mommy go off to spar, or sometimes she goes to the shooting range. I like the shooting range. Mommy says I’m too small to shoot anything, but one day, I’m going to have a gun blade just like her and shoot lots of things._

Fang stifled a laugh. Lightning’s distaste for paperwork was so obvious that even their children had caught onto it. Thankfully, Hope had recently been promoted, which meant that Lightning would soon be able to foist most of it off on him. Knowing the other woman, she would probably give Hope some stern but inspirational speech about how dumping all of her paperwork on him was ‘a sign of her great faith in him, as well as a testament to his ample leadership abilities’. It wouldn’t be a complete lie – Lightning didn’t give out compliments like that without meaning them – but a large part of it would definitely be the chance to finally rid herself of some paperwork. 

_My mommy’s name is Fang. Fang is a good name, but I think a better name would be Claw. Or maybe she could be named Spear since she likes to spear things. One time she speared a gorgonopsid and I was really worried because it might be Gary, but it wasn’t, which was good since I like watching him on TV. Sometimes my mommy goes away for a while to help people look for things in the wild, but she always comes back. She always has time to play with me and she’s always smiling and she almost never gets mad, even when I do something bad, like the time I dyed her hair pink. I thought it would look good, like on my mom, but it looked really bad. Maybe some people don’t look good with pink hair. I think I would look good with pink hair._

Fang’s eye twitched. When exactly was Diana going to get over that whole spearing thing? It wasn’t like she’d gone out of her way to spear that gorgonopsid. They had been hunting something else when they’d stumbled across it and she wasn’t about to let a wild gorgonposid anywhere near her children. True, she probably should have gotten Diana to look away, but Averia had taken it quite well. In fact, she had asked Fang quite calmly if that was the best way to kill a gorgonopsid. Fang wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or worried by that. Averia definitely had the deadpan scary voice thing down pat though.

And then there was the hair dyeing incident. That particular shenanigan had earned Diana an entire month without television or any other privileges, which for a girl her age was the equivalent to fifty years in prison. Fang had been furious – she happened to like her hair very much, and the pink would take a lot of work to get rid of – so it had fallen to Lightning to explain to Diana why dyeing Fang’s hair hadn’t been a good idea. Diana was a smart girl, and it hadn’t taken her long to realise that she’d gone too far. By the end of Lightning’s lecture, she had been close to tears at the thought that she might have done something to make her mommy not like her anymore. That wasn’t the case, of course. Vanille had done stupider things to Fang when they’d been kids, and Fang wasn’t about to stop loving one of her own children over some dyed hair. In the end, she hadn’t been able to stay mad at Diana for very long at all, but it had been a good lesson for the girl. Naturally, Vanille had found the whole thing hilarious, although at least she had the decency not to laugh at Fang when Diana was around.

The next entry in the diary was about Averia.

_My sister’s name is Averia. I think her name is strange. I also think my name is better. But even if her name is strange, I still like my older sister a lot. She always takes care of me and plays with me, and when I get into trouble she doesn’t mind if sometimes I blame stuff on her. She even keeps candy in her room, and sometimes she shares it with me. She always hides her candy too, but I can always find it. I don’t eat it without asking first, but I could if I wanted to. My sister has pink hair like my mom. I wish I had pink hair. My sister is also taller than me. Mommy says that it’s because she’s older than me and that maybe one day I will be taller than her. If I ever get taller than my sister, I think it will be funny._

A smirk crossed Fang’s lips. Diana complained quite frequently about being short, but a lot of that really did have to do with how young she was. If she took after Lightning and Fang, then she definitely wasn’t going to be short, although it remained to be seen if would actually end up taller than Averia. Given that Averia seemed to take after Lightning more and Diana took after Fang more, it was a realistic possibility that Diana might end up the taller of the two. After all, Fang was taller than Lightning, a fact that she pointed out just often enough to annoy the other woman.

It also wasn’t much of a surprise to find out that Averia sometimes let Diana blame things on her. Fang had done exactly the same thing back when she and Vanille had been young, and so had Lightning for Serah. It probably explained why Serah, Vanille, and Diana could be utterly incorrigible when they put their minds to it. On the upside, Diana hadn’t built a robot yet, although knowing her, it wouldn’t be nearly as benign as Bhakti usually was. No, any robot that Diana built would probably be huge, painted the most garish shade of orange imaginable, and armed with enough weaponry to level a city. 

“Well,” Fang said as she closed the diary and gave Diana a hug. “I can’t believe how much you wrote. Did you really get all of this done today?”

Diana nodded happily. “I did. I worked on it all day in class and then again when I got home, and it was really hard, but I got it all done today.” She grimaced. “I don’t know if I can do as much tomorrow though.”

“I don’t think you have to do as much tomorrow as you did today.” Fang smiled. “You did a really good job and I’m very proud of you.” Diana made a happy sound and snuggled up to Fang. “How about you, Averia? You’ve been working on something this whole time and that frown of yours has been getting bigger and bigger. Did you get another assignment? Maybe a group assignment?”

At the mention of a group assignment, Averia grimaced. She had good reason to. The last group assignment she’d received had asked for people to work in pairs, so she’d immediately picked Claire. Things had gone well right up until they had to decide who should be in charge. Neither of them were willing to give that up and they’d spent the next few days arguing about it until finally Yuna had come back after being gone for a while with a bad cold. Since there were an odd number of people in class, the teacher had put Yuna in their group. In the end, they’d just put her in charge, and although Averia hadn’t like that too much, it was better than Claire ending up in charge. If they ever had to work in pairs again, they would just have to settle things with scissors, paper, rock. It wasn’t a perfect way of doing things, but short of fighting each other – something that would definitely get both of them grounded – there really wasn’t much else they could do about it.

“We have to do interviews,” Averia said. “Parents day is coming up and so my teacher wants us to interview our parents. We’re supposed to pretend we’re working for a newspaper or something.” She pushed her notebook over to Fang. “I’m having trouble coming up with things to ask mom.” 

Fang glanced down at the notebook. There were quite a few questions there, but even more that had been scribbled out. “What about me? You’re not going to ask me anything?”

“I am going to interview you too, mommy, but I just thought I’d start with mom. Besides, it’s not like I can ask you for help about what to put in your interview. That would be weird.” Averia gave Fang a pleading look. “I’d really like it if you could help me with this, mommy. I bet you know mom better than anyone else in the whole world, so you have to know what would be interesting to ask her.”

Despite how dangerous it was, or perhaps because of how dangerous it was, Fang had always loved to tease Lightning. Since they’d gotten married, she’d done her best to keep the teasing to a reasonable level. After all, it wouldn’t do for Lightning to murder her in front of their children. However, this was just too good an opportunity to pass up. Careful not to let her glee show in case Averia got suspicious, Fang gave her daughter a curt nod.

“All right, I’ll help you.”

X X X

Lightning was supposed to be annoyed at Fang. The other woman had come back from her patrol almost an hour later than usual. It wasn’t that Lightning was worried – there wasn’t anything nearby that could give Fang a real fight other than her, and if something had appeared, the Guardian Corps would have contacted her. No, the real reason she was supposed to be annoyed was because someone needed to help the girls with their homework while she got dinner ready.

After coming third in her class in the previous school term, Averia had begun to show much greater interest in her studies. Coming second was less than ideal, but Averia didn’t mind that, provided that it was Claire who came in first. However, for Averia coming in third was simply unacceptable, and Lightning couldn’t help but wonder if she was at least partly to blame for how driven and competitive Averia could be. Lightning made no secret of her own drive and will to succeed, and she had always made it very clear to her daughters that hard work was absolutely necessary if they wanted to become the best at something, but she had never put pressure on her daughter’s to try and live up to the reputations that she and Fang had. The problem was that Averia was a very observant girl, and there was no doubt in Lightning’s mind that Averia had begun to take notice of all the comparisons people made between her and her parents.

Lightning hated the fact that Averia would probably always be compared to her and Fang. It wasn’t fair, and it definitely wasn’t nice, but people were like that. They looked at her and Fang, and just assumed that Diana and Averia would follow in their footsteps. It didn’t help matters either, that Averia seemed determined to prove that she could be every bit as good as her parents. She was already the fastest person in her school despite her age, and she had a fine mix of Lightning’s analytical smarts and Fang’s more intuitive thinking, but she was always pushing herself, always looking to do just that little bit better. It wasn’t healthy, and Lightning knew that sooner or later, she would have to address it directly. She had walked down that road herself and there was nothing at the end of it except for heartache. She didn’t want Averia to make the same mistakes she had, and the thought of Averia and Diana’s relationship going through the same troubles that she had experienced with Serah was almost enough to make her physically ill.

In any case, Lightning had wanted very much to be annoyed at Fang for being late, but just when her temper had begun to fray, she’d peeked out of the kitchen to find Fang there at the table with the girls. Fang had been talking avidly with Averia, who was nodding quite seriously and writing furiously in her notebook. Diana, meanwhile, was sitting on Fang’s lap and drawing what appeared to be a picture of Mr Cuddles shooting lasers from his eyes at some birds.

Dinner came and went in pleasant fashion as the girls chatted excitedly about what they’d done during the day while trying to negotiate a reduction in the amount of vegetables they had to eat. Their negotiations failed and Lightning had a chance to ask Fang about why she’d been late as Diana and Averia picked tentatively at their broccoli. It turned out that a few Behemoth Kings had been spotted out near the edge of town. They had moved on without causing any trouble, but Fang had wanted to track them for a little bit longer just to be sure. 

It was only after dinner that Lightning began to feel a little uneasy. Normally, after cleaning the table, Fang would head into the living room with the girls, but this time she had chosen to stay at the table with Averia and Diana. Even more worrying was the grave look on Averia’s face, almost like she was going into battle.

“What’s wrong?” Lightning asked. “I thought you were going into the living room to watch one of the shows you like.” 

Averia shook her head. “Not today. Uh, mom, would it be okay if I interviewed you now?”

“Interview?” Lightning felt a chill run through her as Fang’s mouth curved into a smirk. She was walking into a trap now, she was sure of it. “Why do you need to interview me?”

“It’s for school,” Averia said. “We have to interview our parents and I thought I’d interview you first. I had some trouble coming up with questions, so I asked mommy for help.” She looked at Fang. “She was really helpful.”

“Was she, now?” Lightning smiled thinly. No wonder Fang looked so smug, she’d probably come up with any number of embarrassing questions for Averia to ask and since it was for school, it wasn’t like Lightning could refuse. Clever, very clever, but if Fang thought she was going to get away with this, she had another thing coming. Lightning would just have to deal with it for now, but she would definitely get even.

“All right, I guess you could interview me now.” Lightning sat back down at the table. “Do your mommy and sister need to be here?”

“Oh, don’t mind us,” Fang drawled. “We’re just here to offer moral support.”

Diana nodded and waved a napkin around like a makeshift flag. “Go, Averia!”

The first few questions were actually fairly normal and Lightning almost began to believe that perhaps she hadn’t given Fang enough credit. The other woman had certainly matured since they’d married, and although she still liked to tease Lightning, it was more playful than anything else. Then things took a turn for the worse and Lightning had to stifle the urge to reach across the table and shake the smug smirk off Fang’s face.

“So, mom,” Averia asked. “Is it true that you don’t like Uncle Snow because when you were younger you really liked him a lot but he liked Aunt Serah more?”

“What?” Lightning blurted. “I’m not sure that’s the sort of thing you should be asking in an interview.”

Averia tilted her head to one side. “But it’s an interesting question, and interviews are supposed to be interesting.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s an interesting question,” Lightning said.

“Well, I think it is.” Fang grinned. “So maybe we should vote on it.”

Lightning’s eyes narrowed. “Fang, this family isn’t a democracy.”

Fang met Lightning’s gaze evenly. She would definitely being paying for this later, but right now she was having too much fun. “Hands up if you think that the question is interesting.” Three hands went up.

Lightning looked at Diana. “What? Why are you voting that the question is interesting?” 

“But it is.” Diana munched on a cookie that Lightning could have sworn hadn’t been there a second ago. “Answer the question, mom.”

Lightning made a disgusted sound. “No, it is not true that I liked your Uncle Snow when I was younger, and it is definitely not true that I only dislike him now because he liked your Aunt Serah more.” She did her best to kill Fang with her eyes.

Diana giggled. “Cool, mommy, your eyes are getting all bright and flashy and stuff. Maybe you really do have eye lasers!”

“Eye lasers?” Lightning murmured. “What?”

Fang grinned. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Mom,” Averia said, cutting in with a determined look on her face. “Are you sure you’re telling the truth.”

“What makes you think I’m not?” Lightning asked.

“Well, you’re always punching Uncle Snow,” Averia said.

Lightning nodded slowly. “Yes, but that’s because sometimes your Uncle Snow annoys me, although I don’t want you or Diana punching people who annoy you.”

“But you also punch mommy too when she annoys you, and you like her a lot, like more than almost anyone in the whole world.” Averia pursed her lips. “And Yuna told me that sometimes when boys like someone they do dumb things like pull their hair. It sounds to me like maybe you really did like Uncle Snow a lot.”

“That’s different,” Lightning said.

“How?” Averia looked a little too interested for Lightning’s liking. “Mom, how is it different?”

“It just is.” Lightning felt a headache coming on. “Now, can we move onto the next question?”

“Wait,” Diana said. “So, if you like someone, you punch them?” She sprang out of her chair and threw a wild haymaker of a punch at Averia. “Take that, Averia!”

To Averia’s credit, she managed to block the punch without getting out of her chair, and Fang quickly scooped Diana up before she could do anything else.

“Uh, maybe it might just be better if you stuck to telling your sister that you love her,” Fang said. “Punching someone in the face usually doesn’t get them to like you.” She gave Lightning a cheeky grin. “Although it does work sometimes.”

“All right, next question.” Averia tapped her pen on her notebook. “Is it true that Uncle Hope had a crush on you when he was younger, mom?”

Lightning took a deep, deep breath. Although it would be immensely satisfying to walk into the kitchen and come back with a knife, she would be the one to clean the blood off everything if she really did end up murdering Fang. Still, it couldn’t hurt to dream. “Are you really sure that’s the kind of question you should be asking, Averia?”

Averia’s response was immediate. “Let’s vote. Put up your hands if you want mom to answer the question.” Immediately three hands went up.

“Why am I not surprised,” Lightning murmured. She caught a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to see that Diana had yet another cookie in her hand. What was going on here?

Lightning sighed. “When your Uncle Hope was younger, he was going through a very tough time. It was only natural that he look to other people for support.” Both of her children looked back at her blankly. Of course, as smart as they were, they weren’t old enough to understand what she meant. “Trust me, you’ll understand when you’re older. But it’s fine now, he doesn’t like me that way anymore.” Sometimes she wondered how things would have ended up if Hope had been older and his attraction more genuine. Knowing Fang, Hope would have ended up looking like a porcupine, because the other woman could be very possessive when it came to Lightning. 

“Next question then, mom: why did you marry mommy?” Averia looked a little squeamish as she asked the question and Lightning smiled. Her daughter was probably worried that Lightning was going to launch into some overly romantic tale filled with passionate kisses and ardently whispered words of affection. Well, she didn’t have to worry about that. Lightning’s relationship with Fang was certainly passionate, but neither of them was particularly given to sappy displays of love. That was something they left to Serah and Snow.

“Well, your mommy does have a few good qualities.” Lightning gave Fang a wry look and put extra emphasis on the ‘few’. “For instance, I like the fact that your mommy can keep up with me, not many people can.”

“Is that really important?” Averia asked. “I mean… you wouldn’t like someone who couldn’t keep up with you?”

“Not necessarily,” Lightning said. By the Maker it was awkward talking about this kind of thing with Averia, but she supposed she’d have to do it eventually. “But a lot of the time when you like someone, it’s because you have things in common. Both your mommy and I like to fight, for instance, and we’re both strong minded and confident. I’m smarter though, and more responsible.”

“Hey!” Fang said. “That’s not true.” She looked at Averia. “You’re not going to write that down are you?”

Averia shrugged. “Mom said it, so I think I should. This is an interview, isn’t it?”

Lightning grinned at Fang. “Yes, it is, so you should definitely write it down.” She paused. “But your mommy is a really good person. She’s loyal, and that’s very important. I can trust her no matter what the situation is, and she’s also very down to earth. I couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t appreciate things like family.”

“I guess that’s true. Mommy always makes time for us.” Averia pursed her lips. “But do people really have to match to be happy? I mean, Uncle Snow and Serah are really different. He’s so big and sometimes you say he’s dumb as a brick and Aunt Serah is really smart…”

Lightning sighed. “I’m just joking around when I say that. He’s not really as dumb as a brick.” Although she still tossed the occasional insult Snow’s way, she didn’t really mean them anymore. Of course, she wasn’t about to tell him that. He’d probably try to hug her or something. “But when I say that it helps if someone can keep up with you, I don’t mean they have to match you exactly, or in things like how tall your are. It’s different.”

“How?” Averia asked.

Dear Maker, Lightning thought, please don’t let this turn into a talk about the birds and bees. If that happened, Fang was going to be sleeping on the couch for a long, long time. “It’s hard to explain. It’s just… the person that makes you really happy is the person that makes you feel complete. It’s like you match.” Averia frowned. “You’ll understand when you’re older.” 

“I guess.” Averia sounded a little doubtful. “Let’s go to the next question. Is it true that the red cape thing you wore during your journey gave you powers?”

Lightning’s eye twitched. “Averia, that just isn’t a very good question.”

Averia shrugged. “I think it’s okay. Your red cape thing looks really cool, but I don’t really understand why you’d wear it instead of armour or something.” She gave Lightning an apologetic look. “Let’s vote.”

Once again three hands went up.

“Diana,” Lightning murmured as her younger daughter bit into yet another cookie. “Where are you getting those cookies from? There aren’t any on the table and they look an awful lot like the double chocolate chip cookies that I keep up on the top shelf of the cupboard – the shelf for things you aren’t supposed to eat without permission.”

“Uh…” Diana’s eyes flicked over to Fang for a split-second. “I don’t know.”

Lightning’s eyes narrowed. “Diana is your mommy bribing you with cookies so you vote the same way she does?”

“Um… no?” Diana said. Lightning’s eyes narrowed a little bit more. “Uh… maybe…” Lightning’s eyes narrowed even more. “Okay, okay! Mommy said she’d let me have some if I voted the same way as her.” Diana looked at Fang. “Sorry, mommy, but mom did that thing with her eyes and before I knew it I was telling and…”

Fang gave Diana a pat on the head. “Don’t worry, I’ve seen grown men crack faster than you did under that look.” She glanced at Lightning. “The vote still counts, you know.”

“Fine.” Lightning ground out. “No, Averia, my red cape thing does not give me powers.” She scowled. “Next question.”

“Okay, which part of mommy do you think looks the best?” Averia made a face. “Uh, maybe we can skip that one. It sounds kind of weird.”

“Oh no,” Lightning said looking straight at Fang. “I think it’s an excellent question.” She folded her hands on the table and cracked her knuckles. “I like your mommy’s neck. It’s so nice and slender.”

“Okay…” Averia decided to push her chair back a little. Her mom’s hands were tightening a lot and it looked a little like she was pretending to strangle someone. “What are you doing, mom?”

Lightning grinned at Fang. “Just practicing.” She repeated the strangling motion. “For later.”

“If you could have anything for your next birthday, what would it be?” Averia asked.

This question had probably come from both Fang and Averia. Lightning knew very well that she was not the easiest person to buy gifts for. Not only did she give little indication of what she wanted, she really didn’t want all that much. Still, this was one question that had a very easy answer, which she was only too happy to give. “Some time off with you, your sister, and your mommy would be good, maybe at the beach.”

“I’m sure that could be arranged,” Fang said with a big grin on her face. Lightning rolled her eyes. Fang was probably imagining her in a bikini. 

“Okay, mom, last question.” Averia took a deep breath. “If you could change one thing in your life, what would you change?”

Lightning glanced carefully around the table. “Not one single thing.”

“Really?” Averia’s surprise was easy to hear in her voice. “Not one thing?”

Lightning nodded. “That’s right. Listen, Averia, and you too, Diana. We don’t always make the right choices in life. Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes can be pretty big. But we can’t change the past, and wondering about what could have been makes it very easy to ignore what is. Sure, there are things in my past, things that I’ll tell you about when you’re older that I regret, but I still wouldn’t change anything because those decisions, good and bad, are what brought me to where I am today. If I changed something, then there’s no telling what might happen. I might never have met your mommy, or maybe I wouldn’t have had you and Diana.” This was something she’d thought about a lot about, especially since the girls had been born. “People spend all their lives looking for a way to get into heaven, and most people say that you can only get there when you die, but how can it be heaven if you’re there without the people you love.” She paused. “This, right here, is my version of heaven.”

There was a long moment of silence, broken only by the quiet munching of Diana on her cookie. Slowly, Averia reached out to take one of Lightning’s hands in hers. “I don’t think I have to wait till I’m older to understand that.”

“Good, because I’d rather you didn’t take as long as I did to work it out.” Lightning stood. “All right, who wants some ice cream? Since Diana has already started eating the cookies, I suppose we could finish them.” 

X X X

Later, much later, Lightning was lying curling up against Fang, the sheets thrown over them haphazardly.

“I know you came up with a lot of Averia’s questions, Fang.” Lightning sighed. “And I am going to get you back for that.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Fang chuckled. “But can you really blame me? It was such a good opportunity and it was pretty funny.”

“For you and the girls maybe, but not for me.” Lightning poked Fang in the side. “And bribing Diana with cookies - you’re horrible, Fang.”

“But you love me anyway.” Fang pulled Lightning closer. “And you did leave one thing off the list of things you married me for.”

Lightning yawned. “Oh, what was that?”

“The mind blowing sex of course.” Fang smirked. “The frequent mind blowing sex.”

Lightning rolled her eyes. Fang was lucky that she was too tired from the aforementioned mind blowing sex to punch her in the face. “That’s not exactly something I can tell our daughter, and you have to remember that this is going to end up in an interview.” She made a disgusted sound. “I’ll probably have to go over it with her again to make sure she doesn’t include anything strange. I might even have to give her another, more normal interview.”

“Probably.” Fang’s smirk faded. “Listen, Lightning, did you mean what you said at the end there?”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Lightning whispered. Fang wasn’t one to talk about her doubts much, a flaw that Lightning shared. They were both too proud to readily admit feeling unsure, even to each other.

“I guess.” Fang’s voice was soft. “I just… a while back I found something while I was out patrolling. There was this place nearby that Vanille and me used to go to when we were younger – a swimming hole. It’s gone now, dried up, but we carved our names there along with the names of our friends and I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe things had gone differently…” She sighed. “And then I thought about how hard it must have been when Vanille and I went crystal the second time and you had to come after us… you… you must have been really lonely. I don’t know if I could have done it, Lightning, I don’t know if I could have just kept on looking and looking.”

Lightning shifted until she could stare right into Fang’s eyes. “That’s crap, Fang, and you know it. If I’d been crystal, you’d have looked for me too, no matter how long it took. But to answer your question, I meant every word I said. Good or bad, I wouldn’t change a thing. Not. One. Damn. Thing.” She kissed Fang gently. “We make choices, Fang, and all we can do is live with them. I’m more than happy to live with mine.”

Fang smiled tenderly. “Well, so long as you’re happy, I can’t really complain, now can I?”

“No, you can’t.” Lightning yawned and closed her eyes. Pressed up against Fang, she could hear the other woman’s heartbeat. “Go to sleep and don’t forget that turnabout is fair play. I’m sure I can help Averia come up with a question or two.”

Fang chuckled. “I’m sure you can.” She closed her eyes. “In fact, I’m looking forward to it.”

X X X

Aerith Gainsborough had to put one hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter as she read through the latest entry in Diana Yun-Farron’s diary.

_Today Averia was interviewing mommy and she asked a lot of questions. Mommy didn’t complain and she answered all of them. I was a little sad because I wanted everyone to vote again. The last time we voted, I got cookies. Mom didn’t like all of mommy’s answers. Like when Averia asked what mommy liked most about mom, mommy said she liked mommy’s legs. I didn’t get it, so I asked mom why mommy would like her legs so much. They’re long I guess, and she once kicked someone through a wall, so I guess they’re okay. Mommy tried to explain, but then mom tried to strangle her._

_After that, mommy said that she also really likes mom’s hair. Mommy even told me why everyone calls mom Lightning. It’s because her hair is so messy it looks like it got hit by lightning. Mom said that was stupid, but I think mommy might be right because one time when mom woke up in the morning, her hair was all spiky and poking out everywhere. Mom said that mommy had to sleep on the couch, and mommy started complaining. I don’t really get it. The couch is pretty comfy, but maybe it’s because mom is tall, so maybe she’s too big for it. I said I’d keep her company, but then mom said she’d give me a cookie if I left mommy on her own on the couch. I took the cookie._

_Aunt Vanille also came over with Bhakti. I like Bhakti. He’s a really cool robot. One day, I’m going to build a robot. It’s going to be huge and have lasers from its eyes. It will also turn into stuff like my parents’ Eidolons turn into stuff. In one form it will be a gorgonopsid and in its other form it will be a chocobo. That would be cool. Or maybe it could be a giant hamster that turns into Mr Snaggles?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off this.
> 
> So, it’s been a while. I apologise if this comes across as a little rusty, but I’m still trying to shake some off some of the laziness that comes with every holiday. This chapter went through a couple of rewrites because the first draft really was quite abysmal. The basic ideas were all there, but it was like reading alphabet soup – it just came across as really, really choppy.
> 
> Originally, this chapter was pretty much all fluff, but during the rewrites, I thought it read better when I had a few more serious things in it. Of course, most of that more serious stuff is in the half of the chapter that focuses more on Averia’s homework, but that is to be expected. Diana is younger than her and she hasn’t really started to think about more serious things yet, whereas Averia has. At the same time, Lightning and Fang have also been thinking about these things, but like most parents, they aren’t exactly keen to confront them. I don’t know of anyone who rejoiced at giving their children ‘the talk’ and given the other issues that Averia and Diana have to put up with, not to mention the baggage that Lightning and Fang have, it’s not surprising that there are a few things that are going to be put off until the girls are a bit older.
> 
> On another note, some of the homework that primary children get really is quite odd, at least in my opinion. In fifth grade I actually had to interview a doctor. Setting aside the difficulties of finding a doctor willing to subject themselves to that (in my case, an unfortunate family friend), what sort of questions is a fifth grader going to come up with? The answer is: some pretty terrible ones. Things aren’t necessarily any better in high school. I remember one occasion in the twelfth grade where we were asked to write an eight thousand word long story. They gave us the whole year to do it and expected us to keep diaries of our progress throughout the year documenting the creative process. Now, that sounds fine in theory, but several students, myself included, realised that you really didn’t need a whole year to write the story. In fact, with a bit of work, you could easily get it done within a month. So, that’s what I did. Unfortunately, half of the marks came from the diaries we were supposed to keep documenting the hopefully long and arduous journey we took to write out story. As you can imagine, my diary was very short, and not particularly impressive. 
> 
> On a more related note, most of you have probably noticed that all of the chapters thus far occur during Diana and Averia’s childhood. Since I tend to write this story whenever an idea crops up, and not to some nefarious overall design, I do have a few tentative ideas as to what chapters from the future (Diana and Averia’s future) might look like. I am curious to know if you, the readers, would be interested in something set a bit further into the future. Given that the chapters in this story need not occur in chronological order (although they mostly do), I could always just skip back and forth, with a few clues given to indicate what time frame each chapter is in. Let me know what you think.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	9. The Children Strike Back

**The Children Strike Back**

Like most fathers, Snow was firmly convinced that his little girl was the single most perfect thing in the whole damn universe except for maybe his wife. He was a very lucky man and there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't thank the Maker for how his life had turned out.

"Come on, daddy, pay attention!"

Snow's shook himself back to the present and glanced over at his daughter. The two of them were outside doing some training and he was hard pressed not to smile as Claire went after the punching bag in front of her with all the ferocity of a miniature Behemoth King.

"I'm watching, I promise," Snow said. Claire took a moment to frown cutely in his direction before she turned her attention back to the punching bag.

Despite her small stature, although really, pretty much everyone was small compared to him, the little girl could definitely pack a punch. Every attack was delivered with all of her meagre weight behind it, her hips turning just right to generate as much force as possible. Snow allowed a small smirk to cross his lips. That had been one of the very first things that he'd taught her. She wasn't big like him, so she couldn't rely on brute strength the way he could. She would have to rely on technique to generate punching power, and he must have done a pretty good job teaching her because even Lightning had been forced to admit that Claire punched well for someone her age. Not that Lightning had actually said as much out loud, but the fact that she hadn't corrected Claire was reason enough to believe that she approved of what he'd taught the girl.

"All right, Claire," Snow said. "That's enough bag work." He smiled. "Want to do a little sparring?"

Claire's face lit up like it was Christmas and Snow bit back a chuckle. It had to be a Farron thing, but nothing seemed to delight Claire quite as much as the chance to punch something, preferably in the face. It would have been a little worrying if she'd actually been tall enough to reach his face, but for now it was mostly adorable. Of course, it probably helped that Claire just wasn't strong enough to really hurt him, good technique or not. In contrast, Lightning's love for punching people in the face was considerably less adorable, especially when it ended up with people lying unconscious on the ground twitching like they'd been hit by lightning of the more electrical variety.

"Okay, daddy." Claire skipped over to the middle of the yard. "What are the rules?"

Snow followed her into the middle of the backyard and stretched lazily to work a few of the kinks out of his back. Once upon a time, he and Claire had conducted these little sparring sessions inside, but they'd learned the hard way what a bad idea that was. The incident in question had involved a vase that had borne the brunt of a misplaced – but wonderfully executed – spinning heel kick from Claire. To be fair, it was also Snow's fault for dodging, especially, since he could easily have taken the blow without suffering any real damage. The two of them had taken one look at the vase, which was in about a million pieces on the living room floor, and then scrambled to find one just like it. After about an hour of frantic searching at the local shopping centre, they had finally managed to find one that looked almost exactly the same.

But Serah had known the difference. It didn't matter that the vase they'd bought was exactly the same shape and size and only one shade of pink lighter, Serah had known and she hadn't been pleased. Dinner had been especially awkward with the two guilty parties picking at their food as Serah alternated between scowling at them and glaring at the new vase like it was the worst sort of criminal. Snow was man enough to admit that he was in the wrong, but not nearly man enough to tell Serah that she was, maybe, just a little bit, overreacting.

In the end, he'd done the only thing a good father could do and taken all the blame onto himself. He was a man, and men shouldn't be afraid to suffer for their daughters. He'd spent the night on the couch and the next week putting up with Lightning's smirk. The Farron sisters just had to share everything with each other, and Lightning just had to pick up that particular expression from Fang. Why couldn't she have picked up the other woman's more cheerful disposition? Still, it had been worth it. Claire had always looked up to him, but after that he'd been an absolute hero in her eyes.

"Rules, huh?" Snow pursed his lips. "How about we see how much you've learned?" He grinned. "Yes, that's sounds about right. What you'll be doing is trying to hit me. Anything goes, okay? I know you've been practicing with your Aunt Lightning and your Aunt Fang too, so I want to see some of what they've taught you too." He shifted into a loose fighting stance. "Remember, even if it's just practice, you need to make sure to do things properly. If you get used to messing around in practice, you'll mess around when it's time to fight for real, and that's only going to get you hurt."

Claire nodded crisply and moved into her own fighting stance. "Okay, daddy." She clenched her fists. "Here I go!"

Snow's eyes widened a fraction as Claire darted forward. She'd gotten much, much faster over the past year, and he couldn't help but wonder what she'd be like in a few more years. If she was anything like Serah or Lightning, then these little sparring session might become a little more serious than he'd like. A stray thought about Sazh entered his mind – the older man had started to complain about his age recently, and not all that jokingly either. Snow shook his head. He wasn't an old man yet, not by any means, and it would be a while yet before Claire would be able to get the better of him. After all, he was her father. It was up to him to look after her, not the other way around.

Claire rushed forward and her left hand streaked out in a textbook jab. He palmed her hand away, careful not to use too much force, and then shifted his hand slightly to catch the right cross that was only a split-second behind her first attack. Good, he thought. Combinations were the way to go for someone as fast as her, and a good old jab-cross was a fine way to start. But Claire wasn't done yet. Her right leg swept up in a high roundhouse kick that was a testament to the girl's flexibility. Snow winced. He was about as flexible as a brick and kicking people in the head was definitely not something he did very often. That was more Lightning's style, although Serah had a pretty mean right foot too.

Snow backed up a fraction to let the kick miss and then moved to the side as Claire used the momentum from her kick to move forward into a spinning elbow. It was a risky manoeuvre, one that might get her into trouble against a more ruthless opponent and he made a mental note to speak to her about it. Even if he wasn't particularly fast, he was very, very used to fighting people who were, and over the years he'd honed his reflexes and defence to a razor's edge. If Claire ever got into a fight, he didn't want her to think that speed alone would be enough, because it wouldn't be, not against someone who'd learned how to fight properly. To make his point, he reached out and gave her a gentle poke on the forehead as she stumbled past him, committing a little too much to the elbow.

"Daddy!" Claire growled as she slapped his hand away. "Don't poke me!"

Snow chuckled. "Then don't leave yourself open. If you were fighting someone for real that could just as easily have been a punch."

Claire's eyes widened and then she nodded firmly. "Right." She pursed her lips. "But you didn't have to poke me."

Snow raised one hand and beckoned her forward. Teasing was more Fang's department, but he hadn't survived as a father for almost ten years now without becoming at least a little good at it. "Well, if you don't like it, now is your chance to get even."

For the next ten minutes Claire went after him with everything she had, and he was pleased to see that she'd taken his words to heart. She attacked quickly, but intelligently, mixing up her kicks and punches to try and find a weakness in his defence. She nearly found one too with a quick kick to the side of his knee followed by a double hook to the opposite side of his body. Still, he could sense her frustration mount as he continued to ward off her attacks, and her eyes soon narrowed in what he'd come to think of as the 'Farron Death Glare'.

"Do you want to stop now?" Snow asked.

Claire shook her head. "Not yet." She paused, eyes narrowing further. "There's one more thing I want to try… a special move that Aunt Lightning said should work on just about any man."

"Really?" Snow was more than a little curious as to what kind of 'special move' Lightning had taught Claire, or for that matter, if she'd actually referred to it as a 'special move' in the first place. It couldn't be the older Farron's Army of One or anything like that. Claire was still far too young to pull off anything of that nature, and she didn't have a gun blade with her either. Besides, if anyone was learning how to do one of Lightning's signature moves, it would definitely be Averia or Diana. "All right, I guess we can go for a bit longer."

Claire attacked again, but this time all of her attacks were broad sweeping motions aimed at his sides. There were kicks and hooks and Snow found himself wondering just what Claire was up to. Was she trying to get him in the vulnerable area just under his ribs? A hit there would definitely hurt, but Lightning wouldn't have taught Claire a move that she was still too small to do any real damage with. If nothing else, the soldier knew how to fight and win, even if she could be a little extravagant at times with all the flipping and spinning and cape twirling. Diana's ability to put on a pretty impressive chokehold was just one example of how good Lightning was at teaching the basics.

With all of that in mind, what was going on? What exactly was Claire trying to achieve by targeting his sides so much? He got his answer a moment later when Claire faked a swinging haymaker of a punch at his left side. On reflex, he put one hand out to catch the punch, but that was when Claire dropped into a crouch.

Then she flipped up and back, legs extended out in a picture perfect flip kick. That hit him right between the legs.

Pain became his whole world.

Claire – his lovely, sweet, beautiful daughter – had just done a very Lightning-like flip kick, one that had him dropping onto his knees and clutching at his privates. Dimly, he realised that Claire hadn't quite managed to land her flip properly – she'd ended up sprawled on the lawn – but that hardly mattered. A flip kick had a lot of force behind it. He should know, having copped a few on the chin from Lightning over the years, but he could honestly say that this was the first time he'd taken one to the groin.

It hurt. A lot.

Folded over like a paper bag, Snow could only watch as Claire shot to her feet, eyes alight with triumph at having finally bested her father.

"I win!" Claire screamed, dancing around in glee. "I win!"

Snow dragged in a deep, deep breath and did his best not to pass out. Former l'Cie or not, that was one heck of a 'special move' that Lightning had taught the girl. A little uncharitably, he wondered if maybe Lightning hadn't planned for exactly this outcome, but a fresh wave of pain shoved the thought aside. Besides, if Lightning wanted to kick him in the groin, she'd just do it herself, probably when Serah wasn't around to yell at her.

"I guess you do… uh… win… this time…" Snow ground out.

Claire stopped dancing around in celebration of her beyond epic victory. "Uh… are you okay, daddy? You look really pale and you made this weird noise when I hit you."

In a display of absolute manliness, Snow managed to stagger to his feet. He had a reputation to uphold. "No, it's okay." He swallowed thickly and forced a smile. "That was a really special move all right." Somehow he managed to keep the sarcasm from his voice. "Now, how about we stop here for today? You were going to go next door to play, weren't you?"

"Oh yeah." Claire smiled. "Diana and Averia have the new video game that I've been playing and we're all going to play it together."

"That's nice." Snow smiled weakly. "Why don't you go do that now? I… I've got some chores I need to do."

To his credit, Snow managed to keep on his feet until Claire was gone. Then he dropped onto his knees and started the long crawl back to the house. Please, he thought, let there be ice in the fridge, and if the Maker had any mercy, please let them have some painkillers in the cupboard as well.

X X X

Lightning let out a lazy yawn as she ran her eyes over the newspaper spread out in front of her on the dinner table. She could, of course, have looked up the news on her computer, but there was a certain something about holding an actual newspaper in her hands that she liked. Her father had been much the same, and she had spent more than a few mornings in her childhood watching him as he pored over the paper during breakfast.

Across the table from her, Fang was also going through the newspaper, or rather the sports section of the newspaper. The War of Transgression had been something of a downer when it came to organised sports, but the Pulsian had quickly grown fond of the modern sports scene, even if it was a little more contrived than she would have liked. It was just a pity that gladiatorial combat wasn't something people did anymore, because Lightning had a feeling that Fang would have loved that. Her lips curled. No, loved would have been an understatement. They probably would have been hard pressed to keep Fang out of the competition.

"The kids have been playing that new game for a while now haven't they?" Fang commented as she looked up from the paper. "You know, the one where they shoot things?"

Lightning pursed her lips. Now that she thought about it, the girls had been playing for quite a while. "I might ask them to stop soon. It isn't good for them to play too much."

Fang chuckled. "Worried about all the shooting they're doing?"

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Fang, look at what the two of us do. We're both basically in the business of shooting things. The girls know that real life isn't like a video game."

"True." Fang grinned. "But it probably isn't helping much." Right on cue, a maniacal cackle came from the living room followed by a scream of outrage. "It sounds like they're turning on each other again."

"When aren't they?" Lightning asked dryly. It was true, the girls, Claire included, loved each other to bits, but give them a video game where they could go after each other without inflicting any actual injuries and it was open season. Not that there weren't a few complaints. The first night they'd gotten the new video game they'd been forced to explain that it was not, in fact, a hideous betrayal of the bonds of family to shoot each other. Naturally, Diana had been the one complaining, although Lightning couldn't exactly blame Averia for shooting her sister. Lobbing a grenade at someone was not something you did by accident, especially twice, and not when you were as good at video games as the girls were. Then came the incident with the tank…

There was a knock on the door and Lightning gave Fang a look. The other woman stared back for a moment before she sighed and went to get the door. Lightning smirked. Fang might like to think she was in charge, but Lightning liked to think that she had the other woman's measure. Besides, it wasn't like Fang didn't get anything for all her good behaviour. A happy Lightning meant an amorous Lightning and an amorous Lightning meant a happy Fang.

Fang came back into the dining room with Snow and it took every bit of Lightning's willpower to keep her features carefully neutral as the big man hobbled in. She'd broken up enough bar fights to know what that awkward gait meant. Someone had just kicked Snow in the groin, and they must have kicked him pretty hard too.

"You're looking… well." Despite her best efforts, Lightning felt a grin slip across her lips.

Snow scowled, which was something of a rarity considering how cheerful he usually was. "Did you really teach Claire to kick people in the groin?"

The grin on Lightning's lips widened. She really shouldn't find this all that funny, but she couldn't help herself. "I might have. Why?"

"Because she flip kicked me in the groin, that's why!" Snow growled.

Lightning had to clench her jaw to keep from laughing. Fang, however, had no such qualms.

"Claire flip kicked you in the groin?" Fang slapped Snow over the shoulder. "No wonder you're walking like a crab."

"It's not funny," Snow said. "My own daughter kicked me in the groin. I nearly passed out. I had to grab a bag of ice out of the fridge."

Lightning raised one eyebrow. "Please tell me that you didn't put that bag of ice back afterward, otherwise Claire probably won't be the only Farron kicking you in the groin."

Snow's eyes widened. Serah did not like people messing with her fridge. "Of course not… I think." He paused. "But anyway, was it you, Lightning?"

"Yes." Lightning met Snow's gaze evenly. It wasn't often that Snow got annoyed, but when he did, he wasn't one to back down, even to her. That was one of the things she respected about him, even though she'd never admit it. "Claire isn't a boy, Snow. She might spend most of her time sparring with you, or me, or Fang, or the girls, but in real life, if she's going to fight, it's probably going to be against a man, and if that happens, I don't really care how she wins, so long as she does."

Snow sighed. She was right of course, and he knew it. He tried to sit, the motion a great deal more awkward than he would have liked, and scowled as Fang chuckled again. "I guess you're right. But did you really have to call it a special move?"

"Special move?" Lightning's gaze shifted from Snow to Fang. "I didn't call it that. Fang?"

The other woman was suddenly nowhere to be seen and Lightning scowled as the other woman's laughter suddenly filled the living room. "I guess that answers that question."

Snow grimaced. "I should have known." He shifted in his seat and winced. "Hey, Lightning…"

Lightning took one look at him and shook her head. "No, you cannot borrow any of our ice." Snow gave her an absolutely pathetic look and she made a disgusted sound. "Damn it, I'm getting soft. Fine, you can have some, but do not give it back." Her gaze softened a fraction. Snow had, somehow, grown on her over the years. "Don't worry. You're taking it better than Hope did when Averia got him."

"Averia got Hope?" Snow asked. Somehow, he felt a little better knowing he wasn't the only one who'd taken a kick to the groin.

Lightning nodded. "I may or may not have had to drag him inside the house afterward."

"Heh, the kid still has some toughening up to do then." Snow grinned. He'd gotten back into his house under his own power, even if he had been forced to crawl for most of the way. "Say, the girls seem to be having a lot of fun with that new game of there's. Is it any good?"

Lightning gave him an amused look. "If you want to play, then by all means, go ahead." Snow opened his mouth to disagree, but she shrugged. "We've got enough controllers for everyone, and Claire even brought over her console. Fang also moved another television into the living room, so if we need to, we should all be able to play."

"All of us?" Snow chuckled. "You thinking of playing, sis?"

"I'm not your sister." Lightning's eyes narrowed as Fang and Diana cackled madly from the living room. "Besides, somebody has to be the sheriff around here."

"Sheriff?" Snow asked.

Lightning shook her head. "Never mind." She stood. "Still, it probably would be a good idea to check up on them."

When Lightning and Snow got to the living room, they were greeted with quite a sight. The girls were all staring keenly at the television as their characters – all of whom bore a rather disturbing resemblance to their actual selves – attacked each other with all manner of weaponry. At the moment, Diana had what looked like a flamethrower while Claire and Averia were using what looked to be assault rifles. Needless to say, the youngest of the three girls was more than content to set everything around her alight as the two others abandoned any attempt to kill each other in favour of running for their lives.

The match ended a few minutes later with Averia as the winner. However, she had only won by a single point thanks to an unintentional suicide from Diana who had somehow failed to realise that setting a building alight was probably not a good idea while she still in it. Lightning smiled. Not too surprising.

"Hi, mom," Averia said. She tilted her head to one side as she noticed the awkward way that Snow was standing. "Um… do you want to play?"

Lightning looked at Fang who just grinned back. "I guess we could. I'm not very busy now."

"Okay." Averia looked back at the television. "I'll set the game up. Just plug in Claire's console and we should all be able to play."

As they got everything set up, Fang came over to Lightning with a broad smirk on her face. "You're not fooling me, Lightning. You've been wanting to play all week, you just don't want the kids to think that their stoic, serious mom likes video games."

Lightning scowled faintly. "Oh, be quiet." She huffed. "And what's wrong with wanting to play video games?"

Snow looked at the pair of them. "Who'd have thought? The great Lightning Farron is a sucker for video games…" He trailed off as Lightning slowly, deliberately, raised one foot in the general direction of his groin. "Okay… forget I said anything."

A few minutes later and everything was ready to go.

"Okay," Averia said, clearly liking the fact that she had, somehow, ended up in charge of everything. "How about we do kids versus adults?" Beside her, the two other girls nodded eagerly.

Fang shrugged. "Seems fair enough." She glanced at Lightning and Snow. "I've played with the girls a few times already, but do you two know how to play?"

Snow nodded. "Claire and I played a few missions."

Lightning's lips curled a little at the edges. "Watch and learn."

"That a challenge?" Fang asked with a smirk before she looked back at Averia. "Looks like everyone should be fine. Let's go."

X X X

_Snow took a good look at his surroundings. He'd spawned in what looked to be an abandoned warehouse near the edge of the map. The other adults were nowhere in sight, but that wasn't unusual. The settings that Averia had chosen ensured that everyone spawned at random locations throughout the map. Since it was a time limit match, dying wouldn't end the game. Instead, people would continue to spawn until time ran out and the winner was decided by whichever team had the most kills and least deaths._

_There didn't seem to be anyone near him, but he probably should get a move on. Staying in one place was a good way to end up dead, and he really did need to find a better gun. Right now, all he had was the laughably weak default pistol that every character started with along with several clips of ammunition. If he wanted to stand a chance, he needed to get an assault rifle or something, especially since Averia had also chosen to have more advanced energy based weapons allowed on the map as well. He grinned. A plasma rifle would definitely be a nice thing to have._

_As quietly as he could, he crept out of the warehouse and scanned the street outside. The map was set in a rundown city and the streets around him were silent and empty save for the occasional bit of crumpled paper blown about by a faint, stale wind. Eyes narrowed, he moved into the shadows cast by several dilapidated apartment blocks and made his way toward one of the weapon spawn locations._

_Along the way, he heard the sounds of gunfire, and in the distance there was a deep bass boom before a brilliant plume of flame rose up into the sky. A second later, one of the buildings several blocks away began to collapse in a shower of rubble. Someone must have found the rocket launcher and based on the collateral damage involved, that person had probably been Diana. Honestly, the little girl was a little too happy to be blowing things up, something that she must have gotten from Fang._

_Just shy of the streetlight where a fresh cache of weapons would soon be spawning, he stopped. There was already someone there. Peering from the shadows, he reached for his pistol and unlatched the safety. It was Claire, and as far as he could tell, she hadn't noticed him yet. Slowly, he raised the pistol and took aim. It would hurt him to do this, but it was just a game. He squeezed the trigger…_

"You shot me!" Claire wailed as she glared at her father. "You shot me, daddy!"

Snow took one look at the distraught expression on his daughter's face and felt like the lowest, most horrible person on the planet. "I'm sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have shot you, even if this is a game and –"

BLAM!

Snow looked back at the television in horror as his character jerked backward and fell to the ground, stone cold dead.

"Don't worry, Claire," Averia said lightly, eyes still locked onto the television. "I got him with my sniper rifle."

Beside Snow, Fang let out a chuckle. "Keep your eyes on the prize, Snow. I think they're winning now because of that."

Snow looked back at his daughter who, all of a sudden, didn't look the least bit sad. He'd been played. "That's it…" He squared his shoulders and waited for his character to spawn again. "No more Mr Nice Snow…"

BLAM.

"Damn it!" Snow looked across at Averia. "That's cheap, I just spawned!"

"Yes," Averia said. She smiled. "Right in front of my sniper rifle."

Next to Snow, Lightning smirked. That was her daughter, all right.

X X X

_Fang looked across the street at Lighting. It wasn't often that the two of them could stand near an exploding building and honestly say it wasn't their fault. However, this was one such occasion. "You got a plan Lightning?" Another explosion rang out, and with it another building went down, its windows blown out and its walls reduced to half-melted brick. "We can't exactly stay here for much longer. Sooner or later, she's going to get lucky with that rocket launcher of hers and when she does, well, I don't like our chances."_

" _I know." Lightning pursed her lips. "All right, here's what we'll do. Diana is at the end of the street, so we can't exactly charge straight at her. I'm going to get up onto the rooftops to try and pick her off at a distance." Lightning switched her pistol out for a sniper rifle. "What I need you to do is to distract her."_

_Fang gave Lightning a peeved look. "Why do I have to distract the maniac with the rocket launcher?"_

" _That maniac is our younger daughter, Fang," Lightning replied. "And you're the one who unlocked the rocket launcher for her."_

_"True, but that doesn't make her any less of a maniac, even though I do love her very much." As if to justify everything Fang had just said, Diana's latest round of cackling echoed down the street followed by another wave of rockets. Fang grinned at Lightning. "Now, even you have to admit that isn't exactly normal, although to be fair, none of us are particularly normal."_

_Lightning winced. "No, I guess it's not, although you are right. None of us are normal." She glared. "Now, stop talking and start running."_

_As Fang darted out into the open, Lightning ducked into a small alley and scrambled up onto the fire escape that led to the roof. Whoever had made this game had definitely gone all out to create a reasonably realistic map. This might even make a decent simulator for some of the new recruits who still hadn't understood the importance of using the terrain to their advantage._

_Up on the roof, Lightning took a second to glance down at the street only to see Fang running full tilt away from Diana. Her brows furrowed. That was odd. Running toward someone with a rocket launcher wasn't necessarily the sanest thing in the world to do, but Fang only had a pistol and a shotgun. Getting close was probably the only chance she had of winning, especially since Diana was camping on an ammunition spawning site, which meant that she could shoot rockets all day long if she had to._

" _Run!" Fang screamed, looking up at Lightning. "Just run!"_

_Run? Lightning shouldered her sniper rifle and looked through the scope. What was Fang talking about? Then she saw it. No wonder Fang was running._

_Diana wasn't using a rocket launcher anymore. No, she'd found something better, something a lot better: a tank with lasers. By the Maker, they were all going to die._

"Die to my lasers!" Diana screamed, fingers flying across her controller. "Hahahaha!"

Lightning glanced from her younger daughter to her wife. "Okay, you were right," she murmured. "She is a maniac."

Averia must have heard her, because the girl took a moment to look their way. "Don't worry, mom. She's always like this. That's why we don't usually play with the laser tank, but since we were playing against you, we thought we might need it." She grimaced. "But really, she can be pretty scary sometimes."

"The lasers!" Diana screamed as one of the aforementioned lasers melted right through the wall of a building. "The lasers are coming for you!"

"Okay," Fang said slowly. "We are never, ever buying her a tank."

"What?" Diana asked. "But I want a tank." On the television, the laser tank swivelled its main cannon in the direction of first Fang and then Lightning. "Why can't I have a tank?"

The cannon fired and Fang gave a low whistle as the entire top half of the building melted. Somehow though, Lightning had managed to manoeuvre her character around the devastation and onto a neighbouring rooftop. As Diana lined up for another shot, Lightning lobbed a smoke grenade at the tank. Not bad for someone who claimed they hadn't played the game much. Barely able to see, Diana nevertheless opened fire, and the already damaged building tumbled to the ground in a shower of debris.

"That's why," Fang said.

Diana pouted. "But I wouldn't try to melt you or mom with lasers in real life, just bad people." The laser tank swung around to point its main cannon at Fang who had to scramble to keep clear of the line of fire.

"Even so," Fang said as the laser tank blew a hole through the massive billboard behind her character. "No tanks for you."

"Oh." Diana scowled and fired again.

X X X

_Lightning winced as yet another building melted under a hail of laser fire. It probably wasn't very charitable to leave Fang to deal with their tank-driving daughter, but she had an opponent of her own to worry about. From what she could tell, Diana's position at the end of the main street had not been an accident, nor had Claire's movements around the edge of the map. Someone was coordinating everything, directing the two girls so that they could inflict the maximum amount of damage. Lightning had a pretty good idea of who that was: Averia._

_The older of her two daughters was armed with a sniper rifle and from the utterly ruthless way that she'd taken Snow out – a single shot to the head – she was very, very good with it. Since then, Averia had kept active and she had already managed to pick Snow off several more times. Lightning's lips curled. It was a good strategy. The winner of the match was whichever team had the highest score so stalking and repeatedly killing the weakest member of the other team was a sound strategy. That kind of cunning was exactly what she expected from Averia, and Lightning was actually quite proud of the girl for coming up with such a straightforward yet effective plan. However, Lightning was not about to lose to her children, even if it was just a video game. Besides, she thought with cold smile, she wanted to see just what Averia could do._

_With her own sniper rifle in hand, Lightning made her way across the rooftops. She took care to keep behind cover and finally stopped behind a battered, half-melted billboard. Averia had always shown a keen interest in combat and military strategy, and the girl had often come to Lightning with books on the subject to ask for her opinion. They'd spent more than one afternoon huddled over a few hastily drawn sketches of famous battles arguing about whether or not the people involved had made the right decisions. Averia wasn't always right, and sometimes she let her temper get the better of her, but she had a keen tactical mind – a mind that Lightning understood very well indeed._

_The first thing that Averia would do would be to seek out higher ground. A good sniper needed to have a solid view of their surroundings, preferably one that offered them the ability to shoot at anyone trying to close in on them. Lightning's eyes narrowed. That ruled out most of the map. A good sniper would also ensure that they had a lot of cover nearby, not only to protect them from enemy fire, but also to hide their position. A rifle barrel would stick out like a sore thumb in certain places, and one of the biggest advantages a sniper had was the ability to strike before they were noticed. The last thing that Averia would need was to be close to an ammunition spawning point otherwise she would eventually run out of ammunition._

_Lightning had already memorised the layout of the map along with all of the ammunition and weapon spawning locations. There was only one place on the entire map that met all of the necessary criteria, and she felt a thin smile cross her lips as her gaze drifted to the large clock tower that occupied the centre of the map. Averia was there, she was sure of it._

_As quickly as she could, Lightning made her way toward the clock tower. She would have preferred to make the journey via the rooftops, but someone had done a pretty good job of clearing away anything that could have been used for cover on the rooftops closest to the clock tower. Based on the scorch marks that dotted the area, that was probably Diana's handiwork. Forced to pick her way through the rubble-strewn streets, Lightning kept a close eye on the clock tower. Averia was probably watching her right now, but the girl wouldn't fire, not until she was absolutely sure that she wouldn't miss. Anything else would only invite Lightning's counter attack, a counter attack that might very well see Averia's position completely overrun._

_Finally, she reached the edge of the broad open space that surrounded the clock tower. She chuckled softly. This place was even better than she'd thought. There was nothing but open ground for fifty yards around the clock tower. Any frontal assault would be close to suicide and nothing short of a tank – which Diana had – would be able to engage directly. Taking a deep breath, Lighting plucked a flash bang grenade from around her waist and tossed it around the corner of the building she had chosen to hide behind. If Averia was watching her as keenly as she thought, the girl was in for a very big surprise._

"Mom!" Averia wailed as her screen went white. "That's cheating!" She'd been looking through the scope of her sniper rifle at where her mother was hiding only to be blinded by the flash bang.

Lightning simply smiled and gestured back at the television. "Eyes front."

_Lightning sprinted toward the clock tower as a shot rang out. Still barely able to see, Averia's shot went wide as it kicked up a spray of concrete and dug into the pavement. A second shot came, scarcely better than the first, and Lightning's eyes flicked up to place just where the shot had come from. The shots had come from up in the ruined clock face, the glass all but gone, the entire top of the clock tower open to the harsh winds that whipped through the map. Unwilling to slow down, Lightning reached for her pistol and squeezed off a few quick shots in the rough direction of Averia._

"Wow…" Claire stopped what she was doing for a moment as Averia's character flinched away from the bullets. "She nearly shot you with her pistol from way down there."

Averia scowled. "I can't believe my mom is so good at this." Her eyes narrowed. "But I'm not going to let her win!"

_A third shot rang out, but Lightning was more than ready for it. With a growl, she dove for the door to the clock tower. The thin wood of the door shattered as she slammed into it, and slid to a stop against the wall just behind it._

_She was in._

_However, she couldn't afford to let her guard down. Knowing her daughter, there had to be at least a few traps scattered around, and the girl probably had at least one or two close quarters weapons with her, probably a shotgun or high calibre pistol. Both would be extremely deadly in the close confines of the clock tower's interior, and so Lightning had little choice but to switch her sniper rifle out for an assault rifle. It might not have quite the raw power of a shotgun, but it had a very high rate of fire, something that would come in handy if the fight dragged on past the first or second shot. Besides, the assault rifle could kill with just one shot, provided that the shot went straight to the head._

_Quickly, but carefully, Lightning made her way up along the grimy staircase that led up to the higher levels of the clock tower. There were shadows everywhere, and she felt a bead of sweat roll down her temple as she scanned the area around her. This place was like a maze, and even with her keen sense of direction, she was hard pressed to keep track of where she was amidst all the branching corridors and scaffolding that lined the central staircase._

_She reached the top of the staircase and stopped. The path up to the clock face led through a veritable labyrinth of scaffolding, the ragged wood and metal structure shaking slightly in the harsh gale that whipped in through all the broken windows. Eyes narrowed, she put one foot on the scaffolding only to freeze as she heard a faint creak come from above and behind her. On instinct, she threw herself forward, and it was a good thing that she did. A shotgun blast tore a chunk out of the scaffolding where she'd been only a moment ago. She rolled back onto her feet and came up firing. Her assault rifle kicked hard against her shoulder as a spray of bullets ripped up into the shadows. There was a muffled thump – a hit on Averia – before another shotgun blast knocked a good twenty percent of her health off. With a growl, Lightning retreated further as Averia appeared for a split-second only to disappear into the shadows of the scaffolding further up._

_Lightning bit back a smile. Averia was good and from the looks of it, she'd memorised the layout of the clock tower, something that Lightning hadn't yet had a chance to do. However, Lightning still had a trick or two up her sleeve. Palming a grenade, she crept along the scaffolding until she heard the sound of footsteps._

_Averia appeared a moment later and Lightning was forced to strafe wildly through the maze of metal and wood as the girl fired once, twice, three times with the automatic shotgun she had. Each shot sent bits of timber flying and Lightning winced as her health continued to decrease. She returned fire with her assault rifle and as the stream of bullets forced Averia to seek shelter, Lightning pulled the pin on her grenade and lobbed it to where she knew her daughter would be._

_The grenade arced through the air and Lightning saw Averia's eyes widen as the girl struggled to get clear. Averia made a desperate dive just as the grenade exploded. The scaffolding shook and both Averia and Lightning had to fight to keep their footing as the force of the blast rocked the area. The scaffolding beneath their feet gave a deep groan and they scrambled in opposite directions as it began to collapse._

_Averia ended up on a small outcrop of bricks while Lightning found herself on a narrow wooden ledge. The two of them just stared at the suddenly empty space between them – most of the scaffolding was just gone, smashed to kindling on the ground floor far below them – and then opened fire. Averia's shotgun roared and Lightning made a wild jump for another ledge as the blast threatened to knock off the last of her health. She landed on one of the badly damage support pillars and spun to unleash a wave of gunfire in Averia's direction. The girl took a glancing hit and then dove for one of the ropes that dangled over the gap between them. To Lightning's amazement, the momentum of the girl's jump let her use the rope to swing up and onto one of the few stable pieces of scaffolding left._

_Averia was good, Lightning thought, really, really good. Glancing around quickly, Lightning found a rope of her own, and copied Averia's manoeuvre. She ended up on the same piece of scaffolding and the next few moments passed in a blur as they exchanged a hail of gunfire and worked their way up through the remaining scaffolding toward the top of the clock tower._

_Finally, the two of them reached the top of the scaffolding. It was about level with the middle of the clock, the great panels of broken glass giving the area an even eerier look as they stared each other down. They were both out of ammunition for their primary weapons, which meant that in a second they'd both have to go for their pistols. Whoever was faster would end up on top, and Lightning was nothing if not fast._

" _I knew you'd make it up here, mom," Averia said. Her eyes were twin pools of emerald steel, no hint of weakness in them despite the blood that slowly trickled from the wound in her side._

_Lightning let her empty assault rifle drop to the ground. It was useless now. Slowly, her hand drifted to the holster at her side. "And why is that, Averia?"_

_Averia smiled thinly. "Because I saw you practicing."_

" _Practicing?" Lightning felt a bead of sweat roll down her cheek. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

" _I think you do." Averia's right hand drifted to the holster at her side. "I was really thirsty one night so I went down to the kitchen to get a glass of juice. I saw you practicing in the living room." She paused. "I thought maybe I'd dreamed it, but you're really, really good."_

_Lightning's cheeks coloured slightly. Being seen practicing in the middle of the night by her daughter was not what she had in mind, not to mention that Fang would never let her hear the end of it, especially when she'd said she was doing paperwork instead. "So… what now?"_

_Averia chuckled. "Like I said, you're really, really good. I don't know if I can beat you." She smirked, the expression far too similar to Fang's own mischievous look for Lightning's liking. "That's why I came up with something earlier." Her right hand reached down for something, but instead of her pistol, it came up with what looked like a small remote control. "Remember, this is a team game. If we both get killed, then the scores don't really change and my team is still winning."_

" _Yes," Lightning murmured. "That's true. What are you planning?" Her eyes widened as she got a better look at the remote control. "That's a detonator." Her lips curled. "You've rigged this place up with explosives, haven't you?"_

_Averia nodded. "That's right."_

_Lightning laughed softly. "Clever girl."_

"No!" Diana wailed as she glanced at her sister's character on the television screen. "You can't blow yourself up! Just hang on, I'll come save you from mom!"

_Lightning and Averia both turned to stare as the laser tank rumbled toward the clock tower. To their shared disbelief, the tank's main cannon swivelled up to point directly at the pair of them._

"Don't shoot that!" Averia screamed, looking away from her part of the television to glare at Diana. "Diana, don't use the laser tank!"

Too late. Way, way too late.

_There was a hiss and then a boom as the laser tank opened fire. The entire clock tower came apart as the rush of heat ignited the explosives that Averia had set up. Lightning and Averia vanished a second later in a cloud of fire, their battle destined to finish at a later time as they spawned on opposite sides of the map._

_However, that wasn't all that happened. The force of the explosion hurled huge chunks of the clock tower every which way and one particularly large chunk landed squarely on top of the laser tank. As heavily armoured as the tank was, it was no match for block of stone that weighed close to twenty tonnes. Diana never stood a chance and it wasn't more than a few seconds before she too found herself spawning again on the edges of the map._

"Diana!" Averia growled. "Now, they're tying with us!"

Diana shrugged sheepishly. Being crushed by a big boulder wasn't exactly the best way to die. It would have been way cooler if her mommy had gotten her with a plasma rifle or something. It didn't help much either that her older sister was giving her a really scary look. "Uh… oops?"

 

Averia reached across and gave her sister a light bop on the head. "How's that for oops?"

"Mom!" Diana said. "Averia hit me."

BANG. On the television, Averia's character dropped to the ground.

"There," Lightning said as her character lowered its sniper rifle. "That's for hitting your sister, Averia."

Averia's eye just twitched. "Diana…"

Diana laughed weakly and decided that maybe it would be better to sit on the other side of Claire. It would be harder for Averia to reach her that way.

X X X

_Snow turned just in time to block a powerful overhead chop. His opponent's laser sword skittered off his own in a shower of sparks, and he was forced to give ground yet again as Claire swept forward with another powerful strike. He might be stronger in real life, but in this game, they were pretty close to evenly matched in that department. There was also the small fact that even though he'd played a few mission with Claire, his daughter had much, much more experience with the game than him. Heck, he'd barely had the time to put together a character that looked like him, never mind do all the customisation that Claire had._

_A few yards away from Snow, Claire paused, her long black cloak swirling in the breeze as she lifted her red laser sword. The black facemask she wore gave her what she hoped was a fairly intimidating look, although Diana had told her that it looked silly. She frowned. Diana wasn't one to talk, especially not when she'd chosen to dress her character in bright orange. In front of her, her daddy continued to back away along the catwalk, a thin mist rising from the water beneath them._

_"Why are you doing this?" Snow asked. He was sorry about shooting her earlier. He'd even apologised for it, so why couldn't they go back to the way things had been?_

_Claire's response was to dart forward. Their blades met again and then again, the blue of Snow's laser sword a stark contrast to the red of Claire's as they fought along the catwalk. Sparks flews as their swords cut through the railing of the catwalk and then through some of the pipes that ran alongside. Smokes and steam filled the air, and Snow looked around only to find that he'd backed himself into a corner. There was nowhere for him to go now except for into the water below them, the only possible escape route a large drainpipe._

" _Claire," Snow asked again, laser sword held in front of him. "Why are you doing this? I'm your father, not your enemy. We don't need to fight."_

_Claire's laser sword remained pointed right at him. Her voice came out as a rasp through the facemask. "Maybe out in the real world you are my father, but here, in this game, you are my enemy." She paused. "And my enemies must… die."_

_Snow dropped to his knees in utter despair, all will to fight torn out of him by the darkness he heard in his daughter's voice. "NOOOOOO!"_

Fang glanced sideways at Snow who had dropped his controller in favour of screaming in horror at his impending death at the hands of his daughter. Normally, she'd have found this kind of thing funny, but it was starting to get a little bit creepy. "Uh, maybe you're taking this a little too seriously. This is just a game, after all."

Snow looked back at the television. His character had lost one of its hands courtesy of Claire's laser sword before being thrown into the drainpipe. "But… but she just cut off my hand and…"

Fang sighed. She liked Snow, she really did. The man had a cheerful approach to life and a heart of gold, but sometimes… "Looks, it's just a game and…" she trailed off as she glanced around at the rest of her family. Lightning liked to claim that she was the sane one, but right now, her wife was busy trading bullets and grenades with both of their daughters, all three of them with almost frighteningly serious looks on their faces. Somehow, she thought, as Diana let loose a cackle and went after Lightning with a chainsaw, she had ended up being the sanest person left. That was never a good sign.

"Put down that chainsaw, young lady," Lightning growled.

Diana scowled. "No, mom, you put down your rifle."

Yes, Fang thought, definitely the sanest person left.

"Box her in!" Averia shouted. "I'll get her with a grenade!"

Next to Averia, Claire went after Snow again, an eerily calm look on her face.

Fang shuddered. Never mind being the sanest person left. Heck, she was probably the only sane person left. No wonder all these video games came with a warning.

X X X

_The battle had been going for quite some time now, but somehow the adults had managed to keep on even footing with the kids. Fang liked to credit most of that to Lightning. The other woman was taking this entirely too seriously. Of course, Fang had done her part, lobbing the occasional grenade and firing the occasional rocket. Doing the latter had been particularly fun, and she could kind of see why Diana had taken such a shine to the rocket launcher. The explosions were very well animated._

_Right now though, Fang found herself scrambling for cover in the middle of a large park as a grenade hurtled through the air toward her. The explosion tossed her off her feet and gouged a crater next to the fountain. With a growl, she got to her feet and switched her rifle out for a grenade launcher of her own._

_Diana, who had just emerged from behind a tree, gave a wide grin as she took in the grenade launcher in Fang's hands. "Wow, mommy. Do you like grenade launchers too?"_

" _Uh… sure." Fang had to admit that she never thought she'd be having this kind of conversation with her younger daughter, at least not for a few more years. "So… what now?"_

_Diana giggled and hefted her grenade launcher. "Let's play tag."_

_Tag? Fang chuckled. That was one way to think about. "All right." She grinned. "Let's play."_

_Within a few minutes, most of the park was in ruins, and Fang had to bite back a laugh. As crazy as it seemed, it was actually pretty fun to be able to play with high explosives without having to worry about actually hurting anyone. As another grenade came her way, she dove to the right and let it pass through where she'd been only a moment ago. The explosive struck a parked car and the vehicle was blown fifty feet into the air, the doors flying off, before it hurtled into one of the buildings at the edge of the park._

_Fang had to hand it to Diana. The girl was pretty accurate. Lifting her own grenade launcher, Fang fired a grenade in Diana's direction. The girl managed to dodge the worst of the blast, but enough of the explosion caught her to ensure that she lost a fair amount of her health. Fang smirked. She might not be quite as fanatical about this game as Lightning, but she wasn't about to lose to a six year old. However, the smirk dropped off her face as Diana turned and ran._

" _Hey!" Fang shouted as she ran after the girl. "Come back here!"_

_But Diana didn't stop. Instead, the girl ran full tilt out of the park toward a large warehouse. Fang was about to fire a grenade at Diana, when a bullet caught her in the shoulder with enough force to wipe off a quarter of her health. She turned to see where the bullet had come from then had to duck for cover as Averia opened fire from a nearby rooftop. Good girl, she thought, looking after her sister, but only catching Fang in the shoulder would cost her. A second later, the roof was a sea of fire, a pair of grenades making any escape impossible._

" _And now for Diana," Fang murmured only to stop and stare as a giant floating hamster tore through the wall of the warehouse that Diana had just run into._

"Oh come on," Fang said as she glanced away from the television at the girls. "What is a giant floating hamster doing in the game? I know this isn't exactly realistic but really… a hamster?"

Averia shrugged. "Actually, it's a hovercraft. If you finish the whole game on ultra hard and beat the last boss without using an continues, you can unlock it." She winced. "Diana made me play until I got it."

Fang glanced back at the television and at the giant floating hamster that had begun to advance menacingly toward her. "Of course she did."

_Fang backed away as the floating hamster advanced. It eyes glowed a fiery orange and Fang had just enough time to scream before she was incinerated by a cloud of white-hot fire. A flame thrower? Who put a flamethrower on a hovercraft? And what sort of person made the flames come out of the hamster's eyes?_

"Is there anything else like this in the game?" Fang asked.

Averia nodded. "You can also unlock a giant gorgonopsid to use instead of a velocycle."

"Ah." Fang sighed. "Let me guess, Diana made you unlock that one too."

Averia nodded and shuddered. "You have to finish the game on ultra hard without using a single continue and beat the last boss without getting hit even once." A haunted look entered Averia's eyes. "Diana made me get it."

Fang glanced over at her younger daughter whose eyes were glued to the television. Fiery death swirled around the giant floating hamster, an ocean of fire and smoke that made for a sight that was equal parts comical and disturbing. Normally, she wasn't the strict one, but she would definitely have to look more closely at what kind of games the girls played. Maybe there was a nice puzzle game they could play? Something without giant floating hamsters that shot fire from their eyes…

X X X

" _Fang!" Lightning screamed as she watched the flames consume her wife. "No!" Quickly, she darted for cover as Diana and the hamster/hovercraft continued to rain fire down on everything. Damn it, how was she going to get rid of that thing? Her answer came in the form of a plasma rifle that materialised on the opposite end of the street._

_She made a desperate run for the weapon and lifted it to aim. The hamster/hovercraft might be fairly quick and mobile, but it was a lot less heavily armoured than a tank. The plasma rifle should be able to punch right through the armour, which would hopefully be enough to either destroy it entirely, or at least immobilise it. She had the shot lined up when all of a sudden there was a noise from above her before something large and heavy landed on top of her. Her shot went wide and struck the building next to the hamster._

" _Get off me!" Lightning screamed as she tried to shove Snow off her. Honestly, of all the places he had to spawn after getting killed by Claire again, he had to spawn on top of her. "Get off or so help me I'll…"_

_The rest of her words died in her throat as the hamster/hovercraft turned in their direction. Its eyes glowed an ominous orange and then there was only fire._

_Double kill._

X X X

_Fang's eyes narrowed as she crouched behind some rubble with Lightning. This might be a game, but after being incinerated by a giant floating hamster not once, but twice, she was beginning to understand just how Lightning could get so worked up over it. Oerba Yun Fang did not lose to giant fire spewing hamsters, even ones piloted by her own daughter. They were going to win, and damn it, if Snow didn't stop dying and start pulling his weight, she'd shoot him herself._

" _Snow," Lightning barked as the man continued to whimper about his daughter turning against him. "Stop whining and get it together."_

_Fang nodded grimly. "That's right. Get your head in the game. They're killing us out here."_

" _But what kind of evil game turns a lovely girl like my sweet, beautiful little Claire against her own father?" Snow still looked shell shocked, although perhaps he had good reason to. The last time, Claire had gotten him with a chainsaw. "Well?"_

" _The kind of game that we're going to win," Lightning said. "Right?"_

_Fang nodded. "There's not a thing in the world that can take on the two of us, Lightning."_

_The next few minutes were a frantic scramble for points, but by using Snow as a decoy to lure the girls out and working together as a team, Lightning and Fang were able to claw back the girls' lead. However, just as they were about to snatch the lead back with a triple kill involving explosives, Snow, and a great deal of electrical tape, the game froze._

"What's going on?" Fang asked, hunched over her controller. Next to her, Lightning was little better, the pink haired woman's whole being focused on the game.

"It's a tie," Averia murmured. "It's a timed match, so it can end in a tie." She paused as the television flashed a dazzling array of colours. "Now we're going to go into a tie breaker battle."

"What's the tie breaker battle?" Lightning asked. There were a number of options, but she hadn't seen which one of them Averia had chosen at the start.

Diana giggled and punched the air. "Super combining robot battle of death!"

And right on cue, their weapons vanished and their characters reappeared in the cockpits of a pair of giant robots. The two robots towered over the mangled city, each one of them a colossal engine of destruction.

"What… is… this?" Fang asked. "Isn't there some way of settling this that's a little less crazy?"

Averia shrugged. "Diana picked this."

"Ah."

X X X

" _Okay," Fang murmured as she glanced down at the console in front of her. This was like some kind of crazy children's show. She and Snow were seated on either side of Lightning, the three of them surrounded by walls of switches and dials. "What now?"_

_Lightning pursed her lips. She'd studied this mode of the game online, knowing that it might come up. A few of the younger recruits had also discussed it during training, something that had earned them a few extra laps around the training facility. "All right. I know what to do. If the two of you just do as I say, then we should be able to win this."_

_Fang grinned. "Who made you leader?"_

_Lightning scowled. "Because I'm the only one who knows what to do. Besides, haven't you watched those shows, Fang? Whoever is sitting in the middle is always in charge." Her lips firmed into a thin line. "Okay, Fang, the way the game is set up, you're in charge of the arms. Snow, you're in charge of the legs. I'm in charge of the main weaponry."_

_Fang gave Lightning an amused look. "You know, when I married you, I promised to love you in sickness and in health. I never thought our marriage would involve giant combining robots." She paused. "It's actually kind of funny. Despite everything we've been through, I can honestly say that fighting our children in another giant combining robot is probably the strangest thing we've ever done."_

_Lightning was clearly less than amused. "Just worry about controlling the arms." Her lips curled as the girls' approached in their own robot. "And Fang, if you mess this up, you're sleeping on the couch."_

X X X

" _Full speed ahead!" Averia shouted from her position on the command deck of the girls' robot. "Prepare for battle – ouch!" She glared at Diana. "What was that for?"_

_Diana pouted and bopped her sister on the head again. "I'm sitting in the middle." She patted the chair under her firmly. "And that means I'm in charge! You're just controlling the arms and Claire is just controlling the legs." She grinned. "You two have to do what I say. Now come on, I'm going to shoot them with everything! We'll win for sure!"_

_Averia sighed and glanced over Diana's head to share a look with Claire. How exactly had Diana ended up in charge?_

X X X

It was a battle of truly epic proportions – epically bad proportions.

"Stop messing around and fight!" Diana wailed as she flailed her controller at Averia and Claire. "Come on, punch them and kick them!"

_The garishly bright orange combining robot lumbered forward and threw a wild haymaker of a punch at its somewhat more mature looking counterpart that vaguely resembled Odin but with Bahamuth's wings attached. The punch, however, went utterly wide of the mark as the orange robot's legs did one thing and its arms quite another. As it toppled to the ground, it fired the huge laser cannon on its back, which reduced almost a quarter of the city to rubble while somehow managing to miss the other robot._

"Come on!" Diana screamed. "Get up! Get up! Get up!"

Across from the girls, Lightning's mouth curved into a small smile. The girl had tripped over. This was her chance. "Legs forward," she barked. "Arms ready to punch and –" She stopped as their robot staggered badly. "Snow, what are you doing?"

The tall man winced. "Actually, I've never played this part of the game before, so I don't really know how to make the legs work."

Lightning glared. The girls were getting back up. "Well, work it out."

_The white robot lunged forward heroically, ready to smash its orange counterpart to pieces. However, it only got halfway there before it tripped over a pile of smouldering rubble and landed heavily onto top of the other robot. The pair of robots smashed through several buildings and a medium sized park as they grappled for advantage._

"Go for the throat!" Diana ordered Averia. "Strangle them!"

"They're a robot," Averia growled back. "You can't strangle a robot."

"Then punch them or something!" Diana waved her arms about frantically. "Claire, kick them!"

_The orange robot's right leg lashed up and managed to hit nothing but air. Meanwhile, the white robot finally managed to get to its feet only to tumble back to the ground as first one leg then another gave way beneath it._

"Come on, Snow," Lightning ground out. "We almost had them."

Fang looked at Lightning. "You know, this is just a game."

Lightning's eyes narrowed. "I thought you wanted to win."

"Well, yeah, I mean, no one wants to lose to their kids but this is starting to get a bit much." Being fried by a giant floating hamster was bad, but she was starting to get a little bit worried. "I mean –" Her jaw dropped as the orange robot picked up a familiar hamster/hovercraft and smashed their robot over the face with it. Her eyes narrowed. "Never mind. Let's get them."

_The two robots squared off again, but this time, with somewhat more determination. They rushed forward together and the city shook with the force of their blows. One particularly good left hook from the white robot had the orange robot toppling backward as bits of glass and metal broke loose and tumbled to the ground. However, the white robot crumpled like a paper bag as a wildly thrown kick caught it squarely between the legs._

"Snow, what are you doing?" Lightning said. "Get us back up."

Snow grimaced. "But… they just kicked us in the groin."

Lightning pointed at the television and then glared at Snow. "We are a robot, Snow, being kicked in the groin doesn't work on us. Now get up, or sympathetic pain or not, I am going to make you sorry."

Fang pointed at the television. "Uh, Lightning, I don't know what that is, but it doesn't look good…"

_The orange robot rose into the air as a blinding white light enveloped it. There was an ominous rumble as first one, then both its arms transformed into cannons. All along its chest and back, lasers and missile launchers appeared, and the crackle of lightning filled the sky as a pair of giant antennae extended from its shoulders. Within a few moments, the robot was barely recognisable, transformed into a veritable hedgehog of high-powered weaponry._

"Take this!" Diana cried, fingers flying across the controller. "I'm going to get you with everything. It's the super, ultra, mega death laser attack of unstoppable doom." She slammed the last button down and sat back to watch the symphony of destruction unfold. Nothing happened. Her eye twitched and she pressed the button again. Still nothing. She pressed the button again. "Hey…"

"Too many weapons systems engaged, cooling systems insufficient. Weapon systems overheating," the game announced mechanically. "Explosion imminent."

Diana's eyes widened. "Uh oh."

_There was a tremendous explosion. When it cleared, the city was completely destroyed, and the orange robot was nowhere to be seen. Alone, badly damaged, but victorious, the white robot stood silently over the remains of the battlefield. In the cockpit of the white robot, three adults breathed a sigh of relief, albeit for very different reasons. Still, they had won. Dignity preserved._

_Or maybe not._

"That was quite a game you guys had going there."

Lightning turned slowly and almost flinched. At some point in the game – she wasn't sure exactly when – Hope, Sazh, Dajh, Serah, and Vanille had all come in. She hadn't heard them knock, but then again, both Serah and Vanille had spare keys to the house.

"Uh… hi." Lightning did her best to look calm and collected. "The girls were playing and they needed so more people for their game and…"

"Really?" Serah's eyes twinkled and she gave her sister a knowing smile. "Well, we tried knocking, but you were all so caught up in playing that I had to use my spare key." She chuckled. "Who would have thought…"

"I'm telling you, we were just playing a little with the kids," Lightning said stiffly.

"A little?" Serah's grin widened and Lightning cursed the fact that she loved her sister too much to strangle her. "You used seemed pretty into it to me. Well, at least you won."

Lightning turned away. "Of course, we did."

"Well, I think the girls did pretty well," Dajh said as he came over and gave Diana a pat on the head. "You nearly had them there, kiddo. You just have to remember not to turn on all the guns at once, it overheats the robot and makes it explode."

"Do you have this game?" Diana asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Dajh said. He smiled. "Although I don't take it as seriously as all of you seem to." He gave Lightning a wry look. "Your mom especially." The resulting glare from the pink haired woman had him moving behind Diana for cover.

Serah laughed at her sister's expression and clapped her hands together. "All right, how about all of you take a break? We brought some food over, so maybe we can all sit down and have afternoon tea." She lifted a white box. "We have cake."

That got all of the girls' attention.

"Cake?" Claire asked. "Is it chocolate cake, mommy? Is it?"

Serah smiled and nodded. "The very finest."

As the girls dragged the others toward the dining room in a bid to hasten the provision of cake, Lightning found herself hanging back with Fang. Up ahead, she could just hear Snow explaining the horrible day he'd had – from being kicked in the groin by his daughter, to being picked on by her in the game – as Serah lent a sympathetic, but very much amused, ear. A faint smile crossed her face as Diana tried to explain the game to Sazh who did his best to pretend that he understood.

"You know," Fang said. "That was one of the craziest things we've ever done, and that game has a way of turning people into monsters, but you know what, it was actually pretty fun."

Lightning nodded. "I suppose so."

"And you're pretty good," Fang said. "Although I guess you should be since you've been practicing in secret."

Lightning winced. "I was hoping you hadn't heard that." She raised one eyebrow. "And pretty good? I carried the team, Fang. A certain two people weren't exactly pulling their weight."

"That so?" Fang grinned. "You think I wasn't pulling my weight? Those sound like fighting words."

"Maybe they are." Lightning smiled.

Fang's eyes gleamed. "A challenge then? What are the stakes?"

Lightning smirked. "Loser has to do whatever the winner says."

"Well, that sounds pretty interesting." Fang smirked back at Lightning. "And it gives me some actual incentive to do well." She quickened her pace. "Now come on, we better hurry, otherwise those girls are going to eat all of the cake. You know how they get when there's chocolate."

Lightning reached out to grab Fang's wrist. "You don't really think you can win, do you?"

Fang turned and met Lightning's gaze. "Maybe, maybe not, but somehow, I get the feeling I'll like whatever you come up with."

Lightning's lips twitched. "Even if I make you scrub the toilet?"

Fang pulled her hand free and stretched in a way that outlined just how fine her figure was. "Are you telling me that if you could make me do anything you wanted – anything at all – you'd make me scrub the toilet?" Fang's gaze turned molten. "Watching you play that game, I thought you might be crazy, but now I know for sure."

Lightning swallowed thickly. "Well, I would hate for you to think I'm crazy." She glanced past Fang to where Serah was giving her an exasperated look. Lightning returned the look with one of her own – Serah and Snow could be just as sappy as her and Fang – and then let her gaze drift back to Fang. "I'm sure I could think of… something more appropriate if I put my mind to it."

Fang grinned. "I thought so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
> 
> Okay… where do I start with this…?
> 
> All right, I've got nothing.
> 
> This chapter was really something a bit light hearted that I've wanted to do for quite a while. It might sound strange, but the entire video game scenario wasn't actually present when I started the chapter. The original, and really, the only idea I had for the chapter was the first segment. Now, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Snow, but there was something about him getting hit with a cheap shot by Claire that made me smile. It's probably because of the whole situation. Kids like to think their parents are indestructible, and when your father is a guy like Snow, that would be pretty easy to believe. However, big or small, a solid kick to the groin tends to fell even the hardiest of men, and Snow is no exception.
> 
> The video game scenario itself arose when I had Snow go over to Fang and Lightning's house to complain about what had happened and I needed to have the girls occupied with something else. Then it occurred to me that I could easily see them being big video game fans and from there the rest flowed naturally. It also helps that having them fight in a video game was about the only way I could think of to have the girls square off against their parents in a hopefully humorous way
> 
> For those of you doubting the ability of video games to make otherwise loving families turn on each other like rabid wolves, I can tell you from personal experience that they really can do that. I remember very well the many, many games of Perfect Dark that I played with my siblings (for those of you who are curious, Perfect Dark is a Nintendo 64 game that is still my favourite FPS of all time). Now, my siblings and I get along very well, but once the game booted up, it was everyone for themselves. I don't know how many times I've been shot, blown up, stabbed, or otherwise killed in that game, but the number must surely be in the hundreds. Funnily enough, I have the feeling that killing each other on a daily basis brought us closer together. If that sounds weird, it's because it probably is.


	10. Mother's Day

**Mother's Day**

Diana gave her sister a worried frown. She trusted Averia more than just about anybody in the whole world, but they really weren't supposed to use the stove unless a grown up was with them. Well, almost any grown up. Their mommy probably didn't count since she'd almost set the kitchen on fire a few times. It was funny though – their mommy never had any problems cooking something over a fire when they went camping. Aunt Vanille said it was because their mommy was old fashioned, so maybe that was it.

"Averia," Diana said as she clutched Mr Snaggles to her chest, "We're going to get into trouble if we use the stove." Normally she wouldn't have minded breaking the rules too much, but the rule about the stove was one of their mom's rules, and their mom's rules weren't like other rules. Breaking one of their mom's rules meant getting grounded and that meant no going to sleepovers, no candy, and even no television. And there was a really nice television show about gorgonopsids coming up that she just couldn't miss.

Eyes still on the stove as she fiddled with the settings, Averia just shook her head. "No, we won't, Diana. It's Mother's Day today, and that means that some of the rules don't count."

Diana crunched up her face. "What do you mean?" If the rules didn't count then maybe they would be okay, and maybe she could even sneak some candy out of the place where their mom tried to hide it. Besides, if there was anyone better than her at finding a way around rules it was Averia since Averia just hated to lose or get caught doing something she shouldn't.

"Well, it's Mother's Day, so we're supposed to treat our mothers really nice, right?" Averia turned and nodded firmly at Diana. "And that means we have to make them breakfast in bed and them give them our presents."

"Oh." Diana ran one hand through Mr Snaggles's soft fur and pursed her lips. That did make a lot of sense. After all, their parents always made them breakfast in bed on their birthdays and Mother's Day was sort of a birthday. "I guess it's okay then." She turned and glanced at the kitchen door for a moment. "Here, Mr Snaggles," she said as she put the plush toy down on one of the kitchen counters facing the door. "You get to keep watch. That way it'll be a surprise for mom and mommy."

The plush toy nodded solemnly before he tipped over onto his front. Diana sighed and propped him up against the microwave.

"No falling over! You have to keep watch."

There was a low whoosh and Diana turned to see that Averia had lit the stove. Her eyes were drawn to the flames and she was sorely tempted to get a stick from outside and see if she could make a torch or something cool like that. However, the warning look on Averia's face was enough to change her mind. Averia was almost always really nice to her, but a cranky Averia was no fun at all. Just to let her sister know she wasn't happy though, Diana made sure to pout at her.

"That doesn't work on me," Averia said. She pointed toward the pantry. "Go get the pancake mix, I'm going to get the frying pan hot and everything."

Diana grumbled but headed off to the pantry. It was just like Averia to make her do all the carrying things around, which was really unfair. She was smaller than Averia so she couldn't carry as much, and when Aunt Vanille came over, their mommy never made her carry things around. In fact, their mommy was always carrying Aunt Vanille's stuff, and even their mom was always carrying Aunt Serah's stuff too. Now that she thought about it, Averia really should be the one carrying all of her stuff around. Oh well. She'd just have to tell her sister the next time they went to school. She'd make Averia carry her school bag for sure.

It took her a few minutes to find the pancake mix in the pantry, but it wasn't too bad. She found a box of chocolates that her parents had tried to hide behind a box of yucky muesli bars. The pancake mix came in a carton and she gave it an experimental shake. Good, it hadn't been opened yet. Sometimes, their mom made pancakes without using the pancake mix, and Diana thought those tasted even better than the ones made out of pancake mix. It would have been nice if she and Averia could have done that, but neither of them knew how to make pancakes for real. It would probably be fun guessing how many eggs they'd need, or how much milk and flour was good, but it probably wouldn't taste very good. She winced. Poisoning their parents on Mother's Day was probably a crime or something, and if it wasn't, it was definitely pretty evil. And she didn't want anyone to think she was evil.

She went back into the kitchen and put the carton of pancake mix next to the stove. "Okay, here it is." A frown crossed her face as she noticed that Averia was fiddling with the frying pan. "You better not keep the frying pan to yourself, Averia. I want to use it too."

Averia shook her head. "Mom hasn't shown you how to use it yet." She tossed a spoonful of water onto the frying pan and it vanished in a cloud of steam. "See how hot it is? If you don't know how to use it, you might get burned, and it's pretty heavy too."

"I suppose," Diana grumbled. Averia was probably right. She was still a little too little to use the frying pan properly, especially since she still had to reach a lot to get things that were on the stove. "But I get to watch, okay?"

"That's okay." Averia started to open the carton of pancake mix. "Get a chair from the dining room, and maybe while I'm making the pancakes, you can be the one to decorate them. You're much better at doing that kind of thing than me. You can make them look nice and taste really good."

Diana punched the air with one fist. "Yeah!"

She went into the dining room to get a chair and after a bit of huffing and puffing – the chair was a bit big compared to her – she came back to find Averia in the middle of making the first pancake. She dragged the chair over to the stove and them climbed up to take a look, careful not to lose her balance. If she fell onto the stove, she might catch fire and then they'd really be in trouble. Averia would probably get into super trouble since their parents always expected her to look after her.

"Wow," Diana said. "It smells really nice." And it did, and even though the pancake wasn't finished yet, the smell was enough to make her stomach grumble. Nothing smelled as good as pancakes, not when they were fresh and hot and hopefully covered with something nice and sugary. "How much longer until it's done?"

Averia scowled at the pancake and Diana giggled. Averia was just like their mom – she seemed to think that scowling at something could make it work better. One time, their lawnmower broke and their mom had stared at it really hard for a long time, but it hadn't started working again.

"It'll be a little bit longer." Averia poked the pancake with her spatula. The circle of pancake mix on the frying pan was still soft and mushy. "See how it's all sticky and soft? You have to wait until there are bubbles everywhere and then we can flip it over."

"Cool." Diana grabbed a spoon and gave the pancake an experimental poke. "Hey, if we can pour it into a circle shape, we can try other shapes too, right? How about we try and make one that looks like Chirpy?"

Averia pursed her lips. "Maybe, but we have to make some normal ones first." She eyed the carton of pancake mix. "There isn't a lot in the carton so we need to be careful."

Diana nodded. "I guess, and making a Chirpy pancake might be hard." She paused. "Maybe we could make a Gary one too…" Her eyes widened as she saw bubbles appear along the top of the pancake. "Look, Averia! Look! There are bubbles. Flip it over, flip it over!"

"Shhhh!" Averia growled as she put one hand over Diana's mouth. "They'll wake up if you keep yelling." She took her hand off Diana's mouth and pointed at the pancake with her spatula. "We still have to wait a little bit longer until the bubbles are bigger and there are more of them." She looked back at the pancake and then nodded. "Okay, now we can flip them over." Quickly, she slipped the spatula under the pancake and flipped it over. It landed in almost exactly the same spot it had been in before.

"Wow," Diana said, "You're good at this." She grinned. "Maybe if mom and mommy like the pancakes they'll let you make them everyday. That would be nice."

Averia grinned and poked Diana in the stomach. "We'll get fat if we eat pancakes everyday." She looked around. "This one will be done soon, so why don't you start getting ready to decorate it. I think there is some chocolate sauce in the fridge, and I know we've got maple syrup and some other stuff lying around."

"Okay, I'll make the best pancake ever," Diana cried before a glare from her sister made her realise what she'd done. "Oops. I mean, I'll make the best pancake ever," she whispered.

Diana hopped off her chair and then hurried back and forth to gather the things she needed. Once she had everything, she got out a large tray and two big plates. They were pretty heavy, but she got them up onto the kitchen counter next to Mr Snaggles. Then she dragged her chair over to make sure that she could do everything without having to reach up so much.

"This one is done," Averia said. "Come over here and get it."

Diana took one of the plates and walked over so that Averia could lift the pancake out of the frying pan and put it onto the plate. It smelled so good that for a moment she almost bent down to take a bite out of it, but at the last second she stopped herself. This was for her mom and her mommy, so she couldn't just take a bite, even if it was just a small one, and even if it would taste really, really good. Hopefully there would be enough left over for Averia to make a few pancakes for the two of them.

"Okay…" she murmured as she studied the pancake closely. "What should I put on it first?"

She decided to go with the chocolate sauce. Her mom liked sweets although she didn't eat them very much, at least not where Diana could see her. But Averia had told her that sometimes, when their mom thought no one was around, she really did eat candy. Diana wouldn't have believed it from someone else, but it was Averia, and she was sneaky like that. Besides, Averia never lied to her, except for when they were playing around and trying to trick each other, but that was different. Averia never lied about anything that mattered.

She took the chocolate sauce and poured some onto the middle of the pancake. However, rather than spreading easily, it sort of clumped together in the middle. She giggled. Of course, it was still cold from the fridge. Smiling broadly, she poked it with her spoon until it warmed up enough to spread evenly over the pancake. Then, just for good measure, she added some sugar since sugar made everything taste better. Finally, she got some peanuts and put them on top into a shape that she thought looked a lot like her mom's face, only the peanut face was smiling really widely.

Averia walked over. "Oh, that looks interesting." She tilted her head to one side. "But if it's for mom, then maybe you should make it scowling instead of smiling."

Diana giggled. "Maybe, but I think mom would like it more if it was smiling. It would be weird if she ate a frowning one. Maybe we can make mommy's one the scowling one since she seems to like it when mom scowls at her."

"I see." Averia had that funny look on her face, Diana thought. It was a look that she sometimes got when Diana said something weird. Oh well, Averia always knew what she meant anyway so it didn't matter too much. "I think I'll make two more pancakes after this one. That way mom has two and mommy has two. But I don't think there's enough for any more than that."

Not enough for any more than that? Diana's eyes widened. "Does that mean we won't get any?"

Averia sighed. "Well, I could probably squeeze out one more pancake if I shook the carton really hard. You could have it."

"But what about you?" Diana asked. She didn't want her sister to go without a pancake while she had one. That was just wrong. If she had a pancake then Averia just had to have one too.

"I'm not hungry," Averia replied. "I'm still pretty full from dinner last night."

"Oh… okay." Diana pursed her lips. Was her sister lying? She couldn't remember Averia eating that much for dinner, but maybe she'd eaten something else after dinner. Besides, Averia looked the same as usual, with something that was almost a frown on her face. Sometimes Diana wondered if her sister's face ever got tired since frowning took so much more energy than smiling.

It took them a while, but in the end, they managed to get all four pancakes made. And just like Averia had promised, there was just enough for one more pancake for Diana. Of course, she didn't eat all of it. Instead, she ate half and gave the rest back to Averia after saying she was too full to eat anymore. After that Averia made a big pot of hot chocolate for their parents and Diana made some toast.

The only thing left to do now was to go upstairs and give everything to their parents. Diana grinned. She just knew they'd love it.

X X X

Lightning bit back a moan as one of Fang's hands wandered down her front toward her stomach. Maker, it was just like Fang to wake her up with a kiss instead of a 'good morning' like any normal person. Not that she was complaining. As that hand splayed out across her belly and stroked with a perfect mix of tenderness and firmness, Fang's other hand reached out to cup her cheek.

"Happy Mother's Day, Lightning," Fang murmured. She was on top of Lightning, the other woman so close that she could feel her body heat through the pyjamas that she was wearing. Honestly, if it were up to Fang, Lightning would have been banned from wearing clothes in the bedroom.

Almost lazily, Fang lowered her hand a little more, watching Lightning shiver as she touched, stroked, and caressed with an almost lazy rhythm. Good, Fang thought with a smirk. Real lightning might vanish from the sky in an instant, but Lightning, her Lightning, was hers to love forever.

"Happy Mother's Day, Fang," Lightning breathed back. She wanted to switch their positions and pin Fang to the bed so that she could kiss her senseless, but she couldn't seem to find the strength to do anything except rock back against Fang's wonderfully skilled hand. As her breathing quickened, the hand that had been on her cheek dropped lower to stroke her across her collarbone and then down across the top of her chest. Maker, why wouldn't Fang just hurry up?

Some of her frustration must have shown in her eyes because Fang's smirk only widened, but before the other woman could get any further, Lightning heard a giggle come from the corridor outside their door. Immediately, she tensed. "Fang," she whispered harshly. "It's the kids."

"I know," Fang said.

"That means you should get your hands away from my panties, Fang." Lightning shuddered as Fang's fingers skimmed the top of her panties and then down across the front. Well aware of that fact that her resolve wouldn't last that much longer – and even more aware of the fact that Fang knew that – she decided to play her trump card. "If they come in here and find us like this, Fang, you get to be the one to explain the birds and the bees to them."

In a flash, Fang's hands had returned to somewhat more appropriate places, and just in time too. The door burst open and Diana bounded in, waving her arms in the air.

"Surprise!" Diana cried. "Happy Mother's Day!"

Lightning did her best to look surprised and gave Fang a sharp nudge with one elbow to make sure that the other woman did the same. Behind Diana, Averia wobbled in with a large tray that she quickly set down on their bedside table. On it were pancakes, toast, and a big pot of hot chocolate. However, the food had a slightly unconventional look too it. Lightning honestly hadn't known that you could have whipped cream and maple syrup with chocolate sauce and peanuts on the same pancake, but apparently you could.

"Good morning," Lightning said. "Did you two make breakfast for us?"

Diana nodded eagerly. "We got up extra early to make it." She nodded happily. "It's breakfast in bed."

"Thank you, it all looks great." Lightning eyed the toast more closely. Most of it was okay, but a few slices had been burnt almost to charcoal. Just how long had the girls put that in the toaster? Two of the pancakes also featured what looked to be her face outlined in peanuts, one with her scowling and another with her smiling. "Did you two do all this yourselves?"

Averia smiled faintly. "Yes. I made the pancakes and the hot chocolate. Diana decorated the pancakes and made the toast."

Fang grinned and gave the scowling Lightning pancake an experimental poke. It was still a little mushy. "Yes, I can see that." She smirked at Lightning. "Look at that, I get to eat you for breakfast again."

Lightning's cheeks reddened and she was strongly tempted to get her pillow and whack Fang over the head with it.

"Again?" Diana asked as she tilted her head to one side. "Did you already eat a pancake like that one, mommy?"

"Uh, yes," Lightning said. "That's it, isn't it, Fang." She stressed the other woman's name and gave her a smile that promised a world of pain if Fang even thought of making another comment like that.

"Yes, it is." Fang reached over and pulled a plate of pancakes into her lap. There was some cutlery on the plate too and she cut a small slice of the pancake off and raised it to her lips.

"How is it, mommy?" Diana asked eagerly.

Fang put the piece of pancake into her mouth and immediately wished she hadn't. Apart from the chocolate sauce, peanuts, and maple syrup there was also a lot of salt on the pancake. Dear Etro, her mouth felt like it was going to explode and not in a good way.

"Yes, Fang," Lightning drawled. "How is it?" She had noticed the small white grains that were just a little too large to be sugar on the pancake, but had decided to let the other woman hoist herself on her own petard.

"It's great," Fang managed to get out. "You put salt on this, didn't you?"

Diana nodded. "Yeah. I put lots on since I know you like salty food, mommy."

"Yes, I do." Fang forced herself to smile as she ate another piece. "It's great."

"And you have to try yours too, mom," Averia said as she handed Lightning her plate. "We made plenty for both of you."

Now it was Lightning's turn to sweat – and not in a good way – as she eyed the pancakes in front of her. Gingerly, she cut a piece from the pancake closest to her and took a bite. It was sweet, almost overpoweringly so, but as strange as it seemed, the peanuts actually added a nice sort of crunchiness to everything.

"Hmmm… it's quite good." Lightning smiled. "Sweet, but nice." If looks could have killed at that point, Fang would have been convicted of murdering her.

"Cool," Diana said. "Now, just keep eating. I have to go get something." She ran for the door and then stopped. "Remember, I'll be back right away, so don't try and drink the hot chocolate or anything."

Taking another bite of her pancake, Lightning turned to Averia. "How did it go making the pancakes?"

"It was okay," Averia replied. The girl gave Lightning a serious look. "I was really careful, and I checked twice to make sure that I turned everything off just like you showed me, and I was extra careful to not let Diana get burned or anything." She winced. "Am I in trouble for using the stove without an adult?"

Lightning chuckled softly and reached out to pat her daughter on the head. "No, not this time. So long as it's only for special occasions and so long as you're really careful, I suppose I could let it go." She paused. "And good work on taking care of your sister, I know what a handful she can be. The last time she helped me cook, she asked if she could use my gun blade to peel potatoes."

Averia laughed and smiled brightly. "Thanks, mom." Her brows furrowed. "But you didn't let her use your gun blade, did you? Because if you did, I definitely want to help next time."

Diana charged back into the room waving two mugs around. "Here, mom! Here, mommy!" she cried as she handed Lightning one of the mugs and Fang the other.

Lightning took her mug and turned it around to take a closer look at it. On the front was 'Best Mom Ever' in Diana's surprisingly neat handwriting. The whole mug was covered with pictures of her frolicking in a forest with Odin and what looked to be half the cast of Gary the Gorgonopsid. Beside her, Fang had a similar mug with "Best Mommy Ever" on it. However, instead of a forest, the mug showed her and Bahamut soaring through a sky filled with chocobos, which was a little odd considering the fact that chocobos couldn't fly.

"These are really good," Fang said with a smile. "I like the chocobs. It would be nice if they could fly, then Chirpy would be able to go with Sazh and Dajh everywhere. Did you paint them yourself?"

Diana grinned. "Yes. We did it in class. Most people only had one, but since I have a mom and a mommy, Miss Gainsborough said I could do two. Painting them was really fun as well, since Miss Gainsborough let us choose what we wanted to put on them. I just wish I could have gotten bigger mugs, then I could have put more stuff on them."

"Well, I think they look great," Lightning said. She nodded at Averia. "Can you pass me the hot chocolate?"

Lightning poured herself and Fang some hot chocolate and watched in amusement as the other woman handled the beverage as though it were as dangerous as molten lava. Knowing their children, though, that sort of caution might actually be justified. Still, there wasn't anything to do but try it. Slowly, she took a sip. Well, well, well, it was really quite good, although it was very sugary.

"Hey," Fang said. "This is really good. Really sweet."

Averia nodded. "I know mom likes her hot chocolate to be pretty sweet, and Diana said we should add some more sugar to it just to be sure."

As they continued to make inroads into their pancakes – Lightning with considerably more gusto than Fang – Averia handed each of them their toast and then headed for the bedroom door.

"I have a present for you two as well, I just need to go get it."

Averia came back with a bright yellow sunflower in a pot.

"Is that your present?" Lightning asked.

Averia nodded. "It is." She paused dramatically and then added with a huge grin, "I grew it myself."

Lightning was actually stunned speechless, as was Fang. Even Diana seemed amazed.

"But… but it's a plant," Diana murmured. "And… and you grew it… and… and it's alive."

"I know." Averia seemed to be too happy to be put off by her sister's comment. "I saved up some of my pocket money and I bought some sunflower seeds. I asked Aunt Serah if I could borrow some of her old pots and I hid them in Aunt Serah's backyard so you wouldn't know about them. I had seeds in ten pots, but only this one grew." She put the potted plant on the floor. "Since it survived, it has to be super lucky and super strong or something, so I just knew I had to give it to you."

Fang looked at the plant. It looked quite cheerful actually, and very healthy, something that she didn't normally associate with her daughter when it came to plants. "But why sunflowers? I thought you might get us a rose or something."

Averia looked down at the ground for a moment, and Lightning had to fight the urge to ruffle her hair. Fang, of course, had no problem doing exactly that, and Lightning hid a smile as her daughter blushed and tried to slap Fang's hands away. "It's… it's stupid."

"Whatever your reason is," Fang said. "I doubt it's stupid. Trust me, I've seen a lot of stupid people in my life, and you definitely aren't one of them."

"Well…" Averia fidgeted with her shirt for a moment. "It's just… you and mom… you're like the sunshine. You… you always make me and Diana happy all the time and…"

Lightning couldn't stand it any longer. She set her food aside and scooped Averia up into her arms.

"Hugging time, yay!" Diana cried as Averia squirmed. Within moments all four of them were in one big group hug.

"Okay," Lightning said at last. "How about you two go back downstairs? You can watch your cartoons while your mommy and I finish eating. Once we're done, we'll make you two some breakfast and then we can all go to the park."

As the two girls hurried out the door to watch their cartoons, Fang turned to Lightning.

"You know," Fang said. "They burnt a lot of the toast, put enough sugar in that hot chocolate to give me cavities, and I don't even know what they were thinking putting salt on a pancake but… well… this might just be the best breakfast I've ever had." She grinned and then added, "Except for you, of course."

Fang's head jerked back as Lightning whacked her with a pillow.

"Anyway," Lightning said, voice softening as she looked at the food in front of her. "I think you're right. But you do realise that we're going to have to eat all of this. The girls will know if we get rid of it. I'm going to be fine since mine is mostly just really sweet, but how about you?"

Fang squared her shoulders. "We Yun are known for our cast iron stomachs."

Lightning chuckled. "Yes, I know all about how good your stomach is." She glanced down at said stomach and grinned.

"Lightning," Fang said in mock shock. "Are you… ogling me? Keep doing that and we'll never get through breakfast."

Lightning cut herself another piece of pancake and popped it into her mouth. Keenly aware of Fang's eyes on her, she made a show of licking off an errant bit of chocolate sauce from the corner of her mouth. "Mother's Day belongs to the kids, Fang, but I suppose that since you've been very good lately, I could give you Mother's Night."

"Mother's Night?" Fang smirked. "I've never heard of that before, but I like the sound of it." She chuckled and looked down at the likeness of Lightning on her pancake. "Do you think I could have you with chocolate sauce and whipped cream?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
> 
> To be completely honest, this wasn't going to be the next chapter of this story. I actually had an entirely different chapter planned, but when I realised that Mother's Day was coming up (at least it's coming up where I am), I just knew that I had to write something and this chapter sort of just popped into my head and so here we are. I think it turned out okay.
> 
> For those of you who are wondering, salt on pancakes really does taste terrible. I can still recall one particular breakfast when I was adding what I thought was sugar to the peanut butter already on my pancake (try it, sugar and peanut butter taste great on a pancake). However, the second I took a bite out of it, I realised the mistake I had made. I ended up sort of scraping it all off, but even so I could still taste the salt. Not one of my finer moments.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	11. Bath Time Can Be Fun (For Everyone)

**Bath Time Can Be Fun (For Everyone)**

"That was really fun, mom! Thanks for taking me to the park!"

Lightning sighed as Diana flashed her a sunny smile and skipped toward the front door, leaving a trail of muddy water and sludge in her wake. The trip to the park might have been fun for the little girl, but cleaning up after her wouldn't very much fun at all for Lightning.

Over the past few days, it had done little other than rain and with Averia out clothes shopping with Fang and Vanille, Lightning had decided to take Diana to the park before the girl drove both of them crazy. In fact, Diana had spent hours by the window waiting for the slightest break in the rain so that she could go out and play, and once the rain had slowed to a drizzle and then stopped, she had practically dragged Lightning to the window.

"See, mom!" Diana had shouted, pointing eagerly at the window. "It's not raining, we can go to the park now!"

Normally, Lightning would have waited until the sun was out to take Diana to the park, but all the time indoors was making both of them twitchy. Diana could only stay indoors for so long before she tried to convert their furniture into a climbing frame, or a giant slide of some kind, neither of which were likely to lead to good results. Any longer, and Diana would start using her as a climbing frame and although the girl wasn't heavy, Lightning was not in the habit of letting people climb all over her. Well, maybe she sometimes let Diana climb onto her back, but she couldn't let the girl do that too much otherwise, Lightning would end up walking everywhere with Diana clinging onto her like some kind of laughing, mini-Fang monkey.

So, off they'd gone to the park, Lightning with an umbrella and Diana in a bright orange raincoat and gumboots. It looked more than a little odd – they certainly got more than a few stares as they walked along – but at least it kept Diana dry and if a little girl couldn't walk around wearing bright orange then who could?

They'd gotten to the park and Diana had been overjoyed to find Yuffie and Rikku there too. Within moments, the three girls had laid claim to the whole park, rushing to and fro between the climbing frame, the swings, and anything else they could lay their hands on. Kids that age had a lot of energy to burn, and Lightning had no problems grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting on one of the park benches with Yuffie's mother.

And then the girls had found a big, muddy puddle. In retrospect, what they were going to do should have been obvious. Puddles were, by their very nature, very tempting for kids to play in, and muddy puddles were even better. It had started off innocently enough, with the girls considering, out loud, the various merits of the puddle. Apparently, a puddle needed to have a certain shape before it could be considered good, along with a suitable depth, colour, and consistency. These attributes were, of course, confirmed either by sight or by poking it with sticks.

However, once the puddle had been confirmed as good – and it was, by all accounts, a very good puddle indeed – the three girls had decided that it was time to make proper use of it. And proper use entailed jumping into it and flinging mud all over each other. Lightning had been up in a flash, but as fast as she was, by the time she'd gotten there, Diana was already practically swimming in the puddle, locked in a life and death struggle with her two friends and several handfuls of mud. Yuffie's mother, smart woman that she was, had stayed back, sipping her coffee and leaning to the side when one errant handful of mud strayed her way.

As Lightning had pulled Diana out of the puddle – careful to keep her at arm's length as she squirmed and tried to fling more mud at Yuffie – she felt a fleeting moment of pride. Judging by the amount of mud on her, Diana had emerged the winner. However, that pride was swift to vanish when all of Diana's squirming left Lightning a great deal less clean than she would have liked. Mud, she felt, did not go very well with pink hair.

After that, they'd call it a day, and had headed home to clean off. Diana had been quite a sight, a little girl skipping along in a mix of bright orange plastic and brown, sludgy mud.

"All right," Lightning said as she opened the front door. "Boots off and straight to the bathroom. We need to get you cleaned up."

"But I am clean," Diana said, blithely throwing her arms about. An arc of muddy water went everywhere as a bit of sludge oozed out of her hair across her face. "We were just playing in a puddle, mom, it's not like we did anything really messy." She huffed and folded her arms over her chest. "And I don't want to have a bath now."

Drip, drip went the muddy water, drip, drip.

Lightning just stared. The scary thing, she thought, was that Diana was entirely serious. Vaguely, she wondered just what her daughter thought constituted dirty, although it wasn't like she could talk. One time, she had actually come home covered in blood from a mission that had gone slightly awry. Of course, none of it had been her own, but she had been very, very lucky that Fang had been the one to answer the door and not one of the girls.

"Clean?" Lightning gave Diana a dubious look. "I don't think so. Boots off." Helping the girl tug her boots off, Lightning took one look at them and then tossed them onto the lawn. There was way too much mud on them for the mat outside the door to handle. Maybe she could hose them down later. "Now get going, and Diana, try not to touch anything."

Diana grinned and raced through the door and then up the stairs toward the bathroom. Lightning watched her, feeling a little part of her soul die as the perfectly clean carpet and stairs took a turn for the worse. Good grief, she was going to have to clean that, and knowing Fang, the other woman would probably make a snide comment about what a clean freak she was. She scowled. She didn't need comments like that from Fang, especially given how frequently she had to remind the Pulsian that the bedroom floor was not a laundry basket. It was one thing to leave clothes lying on the floor in a fit of passion – if anything, a lot of their clothes ended up needing replacement after their fits of passion – but it was quite another to just wander in and leave something on the floor. Maker, Lightning loved Fang, but sometimes, she could almost strangle her.

Still frowning faintly, Lightning headed up to the bathroom. Diana was already there waiting for her, eyeing the bathtub and shower as though they were mortal enemies hell bent on killing her. It was funny since Diana quite liked water once she was in it. The hard part was actually getting her into it in the first place.

"Okay," Lightning said. "Clothes off. You need to have a shower before you get into the bathtub otherwise you'll turn it into a swamp."

An interested smile replaced the cute scowl on Diana's face. "Really?" Unbuttoning her raincoat, she tried to tug her t-shirt over her head, only for it to tangle around her head. "A swamp?" She was determined to continue talking, even as she grappled with the garment stuck on her head. "That would be really cool. I wonder if there would be snakes and stuff."

Lightning chuckled softly. Her daughter had, to put it politely, a very active imagination. Not that she'd ever want her any other way. "No, Diana, there would not be any snakes and stuff in it, not unless there are some hiding in your hair." Which, actually, wouldn't have been that much of a stretch. Like Fang, Diana had wonderful hair, but unlike Fang, the girl had a tendency to kind of just let it go wild until someone helped her fix it up. That someone was usually Averia, since the younger girl was forever sneaking into her bed or jumping onto her, and being poked in the eye by Diana's hair was not pleasant. "Now come on, get the rest of your clothes off and get into the shower."

A few moments later and Diana had the rest of her clothes off. Lightning shook her head slowly. It was almost admirable how much mud and gunk the girl had managed to get underneath her clothes despite her raincoat.

"I'm ready, mom," Diana said and before Lightning could say a word, she shook herself. Mud and gunk went flying everywhere – mostly onto Lightning.

"Yes," Lightning said, eye twitching a little as reached over to adjust the shower. "I can see that." She waved at the shower. "Why don't you get in now?"

Diana poked one foot gingerly into the shower as though afraid it would try something horrible. Satisfied that the shower was, in fact, not up to something nasty, like perhaps spewing out acid instead of water, she stepped inside.

"Wow, mom," Diana said as the water splashed over her. "Did you play in the mud too? You're all muddy."

Lightning gave a sigh that she was certain parents everywhere were very familiar with. The things she put up with for her children… "Don't worry about me. Just make sure that you scrub yourself properly and don't forget to use soap."

"I know, mom," Diana grumbled. "I know." Her eyes narrowed as Lightning picked up a bottle of shampoo. "That's the good kind, right? The other kind hurts my eyes."

"The other kind hurts your eyes because you keep opening them when you're washing the shampoo out. You're supposed to keep your eyes closed." Lightning smiled faintly. "But, yes, this is the good kind." She pointed to the familiar gorgonopsid on the front. "See, it has Gary on it." Diana waved at the cartoon character and lowered her head. "Now, hold still, I'm going to put it on now."

As Lightning lathered the shampoo into Diana's hair, she took a moment to think about one of her own encounters with shampoo. Merchandise related to the l'Cie was actually pretty common. There was for instance, Eidolon themed cereal, and there was even a line of action figures related to each of them. Her action figure was, of course, the best. It had multiple points of articulation, a working miniature gun blade, and it came complete with a transforming Odin. She knew because she had one, not that she'd ever let the kids know. She did, after all, have a reputation to uphold and awesome, super serious mothers did not collect their own action figures.

But one thing she hadn't been able to go along with was the development of her own personal brand of shampoo. It wasn't that she had anything against shampoo – it was the advertising campaign. The company had wanted to film a commercial of her and Fang frolicking in the ocean before turning to the camera as a gentle breeze sent their hair fluttering all around them. Then the two of them would smile into the camera and say: Nolver, the shampoo of the l'Cie – the only shampoo that keeps you looking your best in the heat of battle.

Lightning scowled. That was just too much. In the end, Fang and Vanille had helped the company put together a shampoo made from some traditional Gran Pulse recipes, but they had – after Lightning very, very emphatic insistence – drawn the line at participating in the advertising campaign. Not that Fang didn't bring the matter up now and then, tossing her hair over her shoulder dramatically and mouthing the words of the slogan.

Looking back at Diana, Lightning decided to add some extra shampoo before she started to wash all of it out. However, she'd only just started when Diana staggered back and let out a terrible wail. Hands over her face, the girl pressed herself against the far wall of the shower.

"Agghh!" Diana screamed. "My eyes, the shampoo is melting them!" She clutched at her face. "The goggles do nothing!"

Lightning bit back a smile and reached over to tug Diana back underneath the warm spray of the shower. "Diana, the shampoo is not melting your eyes and you do not have any goggles." She ruffled Diana's hair. "Now, come on, scrub your hair. You need to make sure you get it clean."

Diana gave Lightning a pleading look. "Can you do it, mom? You're much better at it than me."

Lightning winced. It was almost impossible to say no to Diana, especially when the girl turned her big, blue eyes on her. "Fine. But you won't always have me to do this for you, you know. When you're a big girl, you're going to have to shampoo and wash your own hair."

"Now, I won't," Diana said, smiling happily and almost purring as Lightning cleaned out her hair. "Mommy says you do this for her all the time."

"Does she now?" Lightning asked as she continued to rinse out Diana's hair. It was true, she supposed, she really did do this for Fang a lot. The other woman quite liked her hair – as did Lightning – and Fang loved it whenever Lightning touched it, whether it was to comb it, shampoo it, or just stroke it when they were cuddling. "Well, your mommy can be a bit of a baby sometimes, so it doesn't count." She grinned at Diana. "But don't tell her I said that."

Diana nodded sagely and made a zipping motion over her lips. "Your secret is safe with me."

A few minutes – and one full bar of soap – later and Diana was finally clean enough for the bathtub. Once the tub was full and the water was just the right temperature, Lightning was hard pressed to keep her daughter from just leaping in.

"No jumping in," Lightning said as she helped Diana climb in instead. "It's dangerous and you might get water everywhere."

Diana nodded and looked eagerly toward one of the plastic bottles beside the tub. "Okay. Can I have bubbles?"

"Sure." Lightning opened the bottle and poured out several capfuls of pale pink fluid. "Now, remember, you don't need to –"

Splash.

Splash.

SPLASH.

Lightning ducked for cover as Diana splashed about to make the bubbles. Glad that she'd managed to avoid the worst of it, Lightning looked back into the tub. The entire tub was now full of bubbles. In fact, it was actually a little hard to see Diana beneath all of the white foam.

"Look, mom," Diana said, ducking low and brushing some bubbles onto her hair and shoulders. "I'm hiding."

"Yes, well you should find a better place to hide." Lightning blew a hole in the bubbles. "The bathtub isn't very big."

Diana just grinned. "But I'm not very big either, so it's okay." She poked the bubbles around her and gave them a thoughtful look. "Hmm… I wonder if I can make a snowman out of bubbles."

"A snowman?" Lightning smiled. "Wouldn't it be a bubble man?"

Diana's eyes widened. "You're right, mom." She reached up to cup some bubbles in her hands. "I bet I can do it."

Five minutes later and Diana had her first bubble man. "Cool." She reached over the side of the tub for a bucket, but her fingers came up a few inches short. "Mom, can you get the bucket with my toys?"

Lightning smiled. Bath time had always been a tricky proposition, but after a bit of trial and error, she and Fang had found that the best way to lure Diana into the bathtub was with bubbles and toys. Diana being Diana, she didn't want or like normal toys, like rubber duckies. No, Diana wanted rubber Eidolons, a rubber Gary, and some plastic ships too. Lately, they'd even added a snorkel to the pile after Diana had watched a television program about diving.

"Here," Lightning said as she put the bucket of toys beside the tub. "What are you going to play today?" Her daughter's imagination was a wonderful thing, and she was always happy to get a better understanding of it, even if it could sometimes be more than a little weird.

Diana pursed her lips as she reached into the bucket. Taking a few toys out, she moulded the bubbles around her into several foamy islands. "I'm going to play PSICOM against Guardian Corps." She grabbed two of the plastic ships, making laser noises as she dropped them into the water. "The evil PSICOM pirates are coming to steal all of the treasure and the Guardian Corps have to stop them." The two ships floated along the surface of the water and she reached for her rubber Bahamut. "And now Mr Snaggles is coming to help the Guardian Corps. He's going to eat all the bad people!" She poked the PSICOM ship with Bahamut and made screaming noises. "Aggh… save me, save me from Mr Snaggles!" she cried, lowering her voice in what Lightning assumed was an imitation of a PSICOM officer. "No!" Diana yelled, using her normal voice this time. "Mr Snaggles shows no mercy to evildoers!"

As the one-sided battle continued – Mr Snaggles devouring hordes of PSICOM officers – Lightning had to struggle not to laugh. If only dealing with evildoers was as simple as feeding them to a metal dragon.

"Mom, can you give me my snorkel now?" Diana asked, putting the rubber Bahamut aside. "Mr Snaggles ate all the PSICOM people and I want to play something else."

X X X

Diana reached for her oxygen tank and checked to make sure that it was full before she slipped it onto her back. It was a little heavy, but it would feel much lighter once she was underwater. Next, she checked to make sure that her mouthpiece and goggles were in place. A deep sea dive was always dangerous, but this one would be really dangerous, so she needed to have everything perfect. After all, she would be going up against a giant squid.

With her spear gun clutched in one hand and a scanning device in the other, she dove into the water. It was cold there, and dark, and it wasn't long before she had to flick on a light just to see where she was going. There were a few fish down there, some big and some small, but the deeper she went, the fewer there were. Looking at her scanning device, she frowned. Nothing, but she had to be close.

All of a sudden, her scanning device began to flash. There was movement coming from nearby, but where? Seeing something at the edge of her vision, she turned. Nothing. Wait… behind her. She spun in the water just in time to be hit in the chest by a tentacle as thick as her waist.

It was the giant squid.

Panicked, she brought her spear gun up and fired, but the squid was just too big for the spear to do much. The pointy end of the spear dug into the squid's flesh beside its beak and her eyes widened. That beak had to be three, maybe even four feet long! And the tentacles, they were everywhere and so long that she couldn't even see where they ended.

One of the tentacles wrapped around her waist and squeezed. Frantic, she drew a knife and stabbed as hard as she could. Bubbles spewed up from her mouthpiece as she threw her weight into each blow. Finally, the squid let go, but it wasn't done yet. Suddenly, it was lunging toward her, its beak wide open and –

X X X

"Diana!" Lightning said as she raised one hand to ward off another wave of water. The girl was thrashing around in the bathtub kicking up a spray of water and bubbles. The snorkel had almost come off Diana's face as she engaged in what seemed to be a mortal struggle against a little rubber Hecatoncheir. "What are you doing?"

"Thank the Maker you came!" Diana cried as she dragged in a deep breath and gestured at the innocuous looking Hecatoncheir toy. "That giant squid almost got me!"

"It did, did it?" Lightning asked dryly as she knelt by the edge of the tub. She put on her serious face. "So… how did you get away?"

Diana nodded gravely. "It almost had me, but I stabbed its tentacle with my knife until it let me go. But then it came after me with its beak." Diana waved her arms around. "The giant squid was like die… die to my tentacles and my beak, and I was like, no, how about you die to my knife." She frowned. "Anyway, mom, how do you kill a giant squid? I want to make sure I win next time."

Lightning looked thoughtful. "I can't say that I've ever had to fight a giant squid."

"But you'd win, right?" Diana made a sizzling sound. "I bet you could just thundaga it and it'd be dead right away."

"Maybe." Lightning grinned. "But you need to be careful about using things like thundaga, especially if you're in the water too."

"Why?" Diana's paused. "Oh! You'd fry yourself too, wouldn't you?"

Lightning nodded, pleased with her daughter's astute observation. "Yes, you would. Guns probably wouldn't work too well either, since the water slows the bullets down. Laser would probably be all right though, and if it lunged out of the water you could always stab it with a sword." She pursed her lips. "And sonics might be useful against a squid."

"Sonics?" Diana's eyes gleamed. "I think you told me about those once…"

"Sonics are weapons that use sound," Lightning explained. Diana loved anything that was shiny, pointy, or could explode, which probably explained why she loved Bahamut so much. The dragon was shiny, pointy, and blew things up. "For example, a sonic grenade disables people by making really loud, painful sounds. Sound moves faster in water, and I'm sure you could make something big enough to hurt a giant squid." She shrugged. "But you might be better off just going with depth charges."

"Depth charges?" Diana asked.

Lightning smiled. "They're bombs that sink when you throw them into water. You can use them to blow up things underwater. If you're lucky, the giant squid might even grab some by mistake."

"Hear that," Diana said, waving one fist at the rubber Hecatoncheir as it floated happily on the surface of the water. "Next time, I'll win for sure."

Lightning chuckled. She had a feeling that most parents would consider it inappropriate to discuss weaponry with their children during bath time. Then again, Diana wasn't most children, and Lightning wasn't most parents.

Eventually though, bath time came to an end.

"All right," Lightning said as Diana finished one last skirmish between the Guardian Corps, PSICOM, Mr Snaggles, and a giant squid. "Time to get out of the bathtub."

"I don't want to," Diana said. "I like it in here, and I haven't killed the giant squid yet!"

"The water is getting cold and if you stay any longer, you'll end up looking like a prune," Lightning said. "Besides, you can always kill the giant squid the next time you have a bath."

"But I want to kill it now." Diana slapped the water. "And I won't look like a prune, I won't!"

Lightning leaned forward, face and voice deadly serious. "Do I look like I'm lying about that?"

Diana shivered. "Maybe?" She winced. "Will I really look like a prune?"

Lightning just grinned. "Stay in there and find out."

Not surprisingly, Diana chose to get out, but not before swearing eternal vengeance upon the giant squid. Smirking, Lightning wondered how Vanille would react to hearing that her Eidolon was playing the villain in Diana's games.

Lightning was in the middle of towelling Diana off when she heard the front door open. A few moments later, Fang and Averia appeared. The younger of the two had a rosy blush on her cheeks and instead of the shorts and t-shirt she'd left the house in, she was wearing a pale green dress that brought out here eyes and hair.

"Wow," Diana said earnestly, wrapped up in a fluffy yellow towel. "You look really pretty, Averia."

"I feel dumb," Averia grumbled as she fiddled with the dress. "I can't run properly or kick people and…"

"I think you look beautiful," Lightning said. She knelt down in front of Averia. "Did your Aunt Vanille pick that out for you?"

Averia nodded, still blushing. "She said it make me look cute." She frowned. "She and mommy made me wear it home."

Fang grinned. "There's nothing wrong with wearing a dress sometimes." She glanced at Lightning. "And there's nothing silly about it either. Both your mom and I have worn dresses and we're not silly, are we?" She tilted her head to one side. "Although I have to ask… just why are you covered in mud, Lightning, and why was there mud in the hallway and on the stairs?"

Lightning looked from her muddy clothes to Diana who was marvellously clean. "It's a long story."

"I bet it is." Fang patted Averia on the head, ignoring the vicious scowl she got. "Why don't you take your sister downstairs to see some of the other clothes you bought today, Averia?"

When the two girls were gone, Fang gave Lightning a teasing look. "Playing in the park get a little messy?"

"Very." Lightning winced as she dabbed some mud off her shirt. "I'm going to have to take a shower." She looked at Fang. "Mind getting dinner started while I get cleaned up?"

Fang looked thoughtful for a moment before she grabbed Lightning. Before the pink haired woman could get a word out, Fang yanked the two of them together, pressing them body to body as she covered Lightning's lips with her own. Lightning stiffened for a moment and then relaxed, moaning softly as Fang deepened the kiss.

Finally, Fang pulled away and Lightning gasped. Maker, Fang could kiss. "What are you doing? Now, you've got mud on you as well."

Fang grinned and locked the bathroom door and headed for the shower. "I do, don't I?" She reached for her sari and tugged it off. "But now that we're both dirty, I guess we'll both have to get cleaned off."

Lightning's eyes widened. A second later, she followed Fang into the shower, using her legendary speed to divest both of them of their clothing as quickly as possible. As Fang shifted and pressed her up against the wall of the shower, Lightning felt a grin tug at her lips. "You know, Fang, you remind me a little of something Diana was talking about."

Fang pressed a kiss to Lightning's collarbone and then lifted her gaze to give the other woman a puzzled look. "Oh?"

"Yes." Lightning shivered as Fang ran her hands along her sides. "A giant squid."

Fang stopped and pouted. "A giant squid, Lightning? Here I am trying to do the right thing, and you compare me to a giant squid." Just for emphasis she gave Lightning a most unromantic poke in the side before letting her hands get back to their wandering. Heh. Braille was one thing, but the curves of Lightning's body were a language all of their own, one that Fang happened to be quite fluent in.

Lightning bit back a groan. "Well, your hands are sort of everywhere."

Fang's eyes widened and then she smirked. Her hands were indeed everywhere. "Well, I suppose you're right about that." She gave Lightning a positively wicked grin. "But there's one thing I can do that a giant squid can't."

"And what's that, Fang?" Lightning asked. Most of the time, she liked to meet Fang halfway, but there were times when she was happy just to let the other woman take charge. After all, Diana didn't get her creative side from nowhere – Fang had a very, very vivid imagination.

Fang's grin turned into something that was almost a snarl, wild, possessive, and absolutely adoring. "I can make you scream."

X X X

Downstairs, Averia and Diana looked up. A muffled thump had come from upstairs along with what sounded like their mommy's name.

"What are they doing up there?" Averia asked as she fiddled with her dress. She supposed it wasn't too bad, but she would have preferred pants.

Diana shrugged. "I don't know. Fighting a giant squid probably."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than some of the others, but I'm a firm believer in letting chapters be as long (or as short) as they need to be. There's only so much you can do with a shower, a bathtub, and some mud, and I think I covered what I wanted to.
> 
> With this chapter, I just wanted to have some more interaction between Lightning and Diana. More often than not, it's Fang spending time with the kids, and I wanted to give Lightning a little time in the sun, so to speak. That said, I think Lightning is perfect for the sort of 'loving exasperation' that I wanted to capture in this chapter. Lightning loves Diana to bits – quirks and all – but that doesn't stop her from being a little exasperated by some of her daughter's antics. Indeed, I'm not sure how I would react if I saw my child writhing around in the water and screaming about fighting a giant squid. Hopefully, I'd react with as much grace as Lightning, rather than freaking out.
> 
> One thing that has always amazed me is how fascinating some children find mud and puddles. I myself enjoyed many a fine puddle in my day, much to the loving exasperation of my parents who had to deal with the clean up. In fact, there are still times when I can't help but wonder what it would be like to just jump around in a puddle. However, the closest I've come to that is walking and jogging in the rain, which is something I do enjoy.
> 
> For those of you who missed it… Nolver is Revlon backwards. And yes… I do think Lightning and Fang would make for an awesome Revlon ad. Not that they'd ever agree to making one. Finally, Diana's little quip about the goggles is a tribute to perhaps my favourite moment in Simpsons history.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	12. Fish Have Feelings Too, But What About Hope?

**Fish Have Feelings Too, But What About Hope?**

Fang hated fishing.

Actually, that wasn't quite right. Fang loved fishing so long as it was with Vanille or the kids. Lightning was another story. The other woman was a dirty, dirty cheater who simply refused to admit that using thundaga was cheating. So what if Fang had once summoned Bahamut to help her? It wasn't her fault the Eidolon happened to like fish, and it certainly wasn't her fault if the Eidolon decided to donate a few of the fish it caught to her cause. Nope, it was totally, one hundred per cent different. Maybe, a little… probably not. Okay, it was the exact same thing, but she would never, ever admit that to Lighting.

But what really made her hate fishing – at least for today – was not the act of fishing itself. No, it was all down to whom she was fishing with. Lightning might be a cheater, but Fang happened to love her, and the pink haired woman was always a little frisky after she won, which meant that Fang always had the chance to avenge her loss in other, more interesting, ways.

Right now though, she wasn't fishing with Lightning. She was fishing with Hope. A few weeks ago, this probably wouldn't have bothered her. In fact, a few weeks ago, Hope had been one of her favourite people. Sure, she still teased him, and part of her would always seem him as the kid he'd been on their journey, but he was a good and loyal friend. And then he'd decided to go after Vanille. That single decision had moved Hope from the 'loyal friend' category to the 'kill or maim on sight' category.

It didn't matter that she and Hope had participated in their fair share of idiotic schemes together over the years. In fact, Hope had been one of the first people to really support her in her attempts to court Lightning. He'd even volunteered to spy on the pink haired woman to try and give Fang some information she could use to her advantage. Naturally, that hadn't worked too well. Lightning had spotted him without too much difficulty and after sitting him down for a very long – and hideously awkward talk – about the changes that happened to young men during puberty, she'd turned her ire on Fang. Apparently, Hope might have let slip that he'd been helping her.

But all of the bonding they'd done over mutual suffering was in the past. Good friend or not, Hope wasn't good enough for Vanille. Quite frankly, no one was. Sure, Fang could understand why Hope was drawn to the red head. Vanille was kind, smart, funny, and almost everything anyone could want, but that didn't mean Fang had to like or tolerate any of Vanille's suitors. Even if the suitor was someone she'd known for years, not to mention an up and coming Guardian Corps officer with nothing but a bright future ahead of him. If Hope kept looking at Vanille like he wanted to drag her off to the nearest bed, then the only future he'd have would be one where he ended up very, very dead, courtesy of a spear or four.

Deep down inside, Fang knew she probably wasn't being fair, but Vanille was the closest thing she had to family, at least she had been until Fang had met Lightning and the others. Vanille had been there for as long as Fang could remember and the thought of someone taking her away was, well, scary even to a Yun warrior as awesome as Fang.

However, Vanille liked Hope and that was what made it so hard. If Hope's advances weren't appreciated then it would have been a pretty simple matter of spearing the young man and then finding somewhere to dump the body. However, over the past few weeks it had become increasingly clear that whatever was going on between Vanille and Hope, it was entirely mutual, and extremely serious. So… if Vanille really did have her heart set on Hope then Fang really didn't have much choice other than to let her have him. Still, Fang didn't have to make it easy. In fact, she was planning on making it very hard.

Fang chuckled. Yes, Vanille might love all of the modern conveniences that Cocoon society offered, but she was also a stickler for a few of the old Gran Pulse traditions. Admittedly some of those traditions were a bit barbaric. For instance, there was no way that Fang was going to make her children strangle something to death with their bare hands as Yun tradition dictated, but there were a few traditions that were actually a little more romantic.

One tradition that could be seen as quite romantic was something that had been passed down through generations of Yun and although Vanille was technically a Dia, Fang was still her closest relative and Fang was a Yun. The tradition was actually quite simple. Before a man could marry a woman, he had to prove to her relatives that he was worthy. Of course, being a Yun tradition, the way that a man proved his worth was through combat – brutal, bloody, vicious combat. And who would Hope's opponent be? Well, Fang was Vanille's closest relative so she supposed it would have to be her. Heh.

It was hard to think of anything better. She had a chance to spear Hope and not get into trouble. Unfortunately, Lightning had caught wind of her plan – her maniacal cackling while sharpening her spear had probably given her away – and the pink haired woman had made it very, very clear that the law frowned on people spearing each other over matters of honour. So, instead of facing Hope in glorious combat, Fang had been reduced to simply giving him the evil eye at every possible opportunity.

Vanille, smart cookie that she was, hadn't taken long to notice. In an attempt to smooth things over, the red head had suggested that they all go off on a fishing trip to 'bond'. Not a chance. The only kind of bonding that Fang wanted to do with Hope was the kind that involved her, a spear, and him running (futilely) for his life. Unfortunately for Fang, however, Vanille was far, far too good at getting her own way. After less than a minute of being subjected to Vanille's puppy dog eyes, Fang had caved. So, here she was on a fishing trip with Hope. Naturally, it wasn't just the two of them. The kids had come along and so had Lightning, presumably to make sure that Fang didn't just kill Hope and dump the body when no one was looking.

But Vanille's deviousness hadn't stopped at simply getting Fang to go on the fishing trip. No, Vanille didn't do devious in small doses. When Vanille did devious, she did it all the way. Apparently, there hadn't been a boat big enough for all of them to fit on. Instead, Vanille, Lightning, and the kids were on one boat, and Fang and Hope were on another boat. Wonderful. Beautiful. Fang could just about throw up.

It didn't matter that it was a lovely, sunny day, or that the lake was still and calm. The only thing that mattered was that right now she was on a small boat with someone she currently considered to be her sworn enemy and she couldn't spear, strangle, or otherwise kill him. It was really a pity too, since dumping his body into the lake would have been such a tidy way of doing things.

Across the boat from her, Hope put on his best winning smile. "So… uh… you like fishing much, Fang?" So far, Fang hadn't said a word to him. Instead, she'd gone all quiet, although she did occasionally mumble words like 'stab' and 'spear'. She'd also tried to kill him with her eyes a few times, but luckily he'd been exposed to Lightning enough not to let Fang's glare bother him. Her snarl, however, was a different story. It showed off all her teeth rather nicely.

Fang looked up from the surface of the water. Her eyes narrowed. "It's okay." She smiled thinly. "But I prefer spear fishing more than using a fishing rod. It's quicker. Bloodier."

Hope swallowed thickly. It didn't take a genius to work out that Fang wasn't talking about spearing fish. He'd been sorely, sorely tempted to come in his Guardian Corps armour but Vanille had been quite adamant that Fang wouldn't do anything to him. That was easy for her to say, Fang wouldn't harm a hair on her head. Him… he'd be lucky to still have a head by the time Fang was finished.

"Oh." Hope shivered. "Well… I was kind of thinking that maybe we could talk a little… maybe." Fang's eyes narrowed into little more than emerald slits and Hope felt around for his gun blade. Damn it, he'd left it at home. "I know you're not too happy with me considering the whole… uh… Vanille thing…"

Fang's lips drew back into a snarl. "Not happy? You could say that." She glared and Hope wondered if maybe the fish could somehow feel the woman's rage. That would certainly explain why neither of them had caught one yet. "Tell me, Hope, just how serious are you." He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "And think very, very carefully before you answer."

Hope winced and then gathered himself as best he could. It was time to show Fang what sort of man he'd become. "Well…"

X X X

"I bet mommy's going to spear Uncle Hope," Diana said. She was on a boat with her sister, her mom, and her Aunt Vanille. As for her mommy and her Uncle Hope, they were on another boat on the other side of the lake. "Then she'll probably throw him into the water." She giggled. "Splash."

Lightning stared at her younger daughter. Diana had been a little too enthusiastic about that. "Diana, your mommy isn't going to spear your Uncle Hope."

"Yes, she will." Diana nodded sagely. "Remember, she almost speared Mr Cuddles once, and she wasn't even angry with him. Well, she looked pretty angry at Uncle Hope and she does like spearing things."

The girl had a point, but Lightning chose not to acknowledge that. "That was an accident, Diana. She didn't mean to almost spear Mr Cuddles."

"And don't forget that mom said she couldn't spear Uncle Hope." Not far from Diana, Averia nodded firmly. "And you know what happens when mommy doesn't listen to mom. Besides, mom likes Uncle Hope. If mommy spears him and he dies, mom will make her sleep on the couch for like… a whole year or something. Maybe even two."

Beside Lightning, Vanille chuckled. "I wonder what Hope would think if he knew that spearing him would only get Fang two years on the couch," she whispered.

Averia rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "But maybe she could spear him and not kill him. I was talking to her yesterday, and she told me about all the places you could spear someone and they wouldn't die." She reached over to give Diana a poke in the side. "Like if you speared someone there, they wouldn't die for ages, but they'd be in lots of pain and –"

"No one will be spearing anyone," Lightning said firmly. "Okay?" Both girls nodded, although they both seemed a little disappointed. Honestly, she was going to have to talk to Fang about what she was teaching Averia. Teaching their daughter how to use a spear was fine, but Averia did not need to know how to maim someone – not yet, anyway. Maybe once she was in high school. "Now, how about you worry about your fishing?"

"Maybe mommy could call Mr Snaggles," Diana said. "It wouldn't be spearing then…"

"Diana," Lightning said. "No one is going to get speared or eaten." She sighed. "Now, how is your fishing going?"

Diana frowned and gave the water a petulant whack with her fishing rod. "I haven't caught anything yet. The fish are cheating."

"They're not cheating, you're just not doing it right." Unlike her sister, Averia already had two fish in a container next to her. "You keep waving your fishing rod around like this." She waved her fishing rod around in the water. "That just scares the fish away."

Diana scowled. Stupid fish. "It does not… maybe."

Watching the two, Vanille felt a small smile slip across her face. For all of her cleverness, Diana did not have the right temperament for fishing. Averia though, seemed to be just right for it. Averia didn't mind keeping calm and quiet, even if it took hours, and when she did get a bite, she had the patience and skill to reel in her fish without losing it. Unlike Diana, Averia understood that catching a fish was less like combat, and more like art.

Indeed, it wasn't that unusual for Vanille and Averia to go fishing – just the two of them. It gave Averia a chance to have a little peace and quiet, something that the Yun-Farron household often lacked. And it wasn't like Vanille minded. Averia was good company for the most part, and sometimes the girl would even ask her about girly things, the sorts of things she was still a little embarrassed to talk to her parents about. Fang and Lightning were great parents, but when it came to certain issues, Fang had a tendency to be a little too blunt, while Lightning sometimes treated things a little too clinically. Besides, it was kind of funny watching Averia stammer and blush as she asked about things like clothes, or how to tell if she liked someone.

"Diana, your sister is right. You need to put yourself in the fish's shoes," Vanille said.

Diana frowned. "Fish don't have shoes."

"It's just a saying," Averia replied. It was a little tempting to maybe give her sister a gentle bonk on the head, but their mom was watching. That, and Diana would probably try and push her into the lake. "You have to… to think like a fish. Imagine you're swimming around and you see this thing going all over the place." She waved her hands around for emphasis. "Would you bite it?" Diana grinned and nodded. "Well, most people, I mean, most fish wouldn't. You have to move your fishing rod around naturally, like this." She demonstrated. "See, if you make the bait move around like a small fish, then the bigger fish are going to try and get it." Right on cue there was a nibble on her fishing line and she grinned. "See?"

"You got another one!" Diana cried. She neatly stepped over a can of bait and leaned over to look over the side of the boat next to Averia. "What is it? What is it?"

"A big one, I think." Averia pursed her lips and pulled. "It's heavy!"

Lightning smiled. "Here." Quickly making her way over to her daughter, she helped the girl pull. A few moments later there was a splash as the fish came out of the water.

"Wow!" Diana pointed at the fish. "Look how big it is!"

And it was big. The fish was a mean looking thing with a scowl on its face and bristle-like whiskers. All up, it was probably as long as Lightning's arm. Eyeing the girls menacingly, the fish continued to thrash and squirm until Lightning had no choice but to take hold of the fishing rod and carry the fish over to the other side of boat.

"Hey, look at that," Vanille said as Lightning dropped the fish into a large container. "It's almost as big as you are, Diana." Experimentally, Vanille gave the fish a poke with one of the spare fishing rods. "Maybe we could feed you to it."

Diana frowned. "I am not fish food." She jabbed at the fish with one of the other fishing rods. "Take that, fish!"

"Leave it alone," Lightning said. "Besides, I don't think you have to worry about it eating you since we'll be having it for lunch."

Vanille grinned. "Yep, that fish might look nasty, but trust me, it tastes good."

Diana gave the fish one last glare and then sat back down. "I wish I could catch a fish."

Averia patted the spot next to her. "Come here. I'll show you how."

Diana smiled. "You will?"

"Yes." Averia shrugged. "It's not too hard once you know how."

As Diana ignored Averia's suggestion to sit beside her in favour of climbing onto her lap, Lightning turned to Vanille.

"So, you and Hope?" Lightning wasn't really good with this sort of thing and frankly, she'd have preferred to let Serah handle it, but her sister was out of town visiting friends with Snow and Claire. "I can't say I saw that coming."

Vanille smirked. "Well, you're not exactly the most observant person when it comes to this sort of thing." She took a quick look at the kids. They weren't listening at all, content to grapple with the intricacies of proper fishing technique. For her part, Vanille wasn't really paying much attention to her binding rod either, although she did keep one hand firmly around the weapon to make sure she could reel it in if she got a bite. "I remember how long it took you and Fang to work things out. Heh. Serah and I were about one week from just locking the two of you in the same room naked."

Lightning scowled. "I wasn't that bad." Vanille just raised one eyebrow. "Okay, maybe I was, but this isn't about me. It's about you." She paused. "So, you want to tell me how it started?"

Vanille chuckled. "There isn't much to tell really." She gave Lightning a grin. "He wasn't taking a hint so I jumped him."

"You what?" Lightning blurted.

"Mom," Averia said. "Don't shout. You'll scare away the fish."

Diana turned in her sister's lap and frowned. "Yes, mom, you'll scare away the fish."

"Sorry." Lightning lowered her voice. "You jumped him?"

"Well, yeah." Vanille smiled. "Look, Lightning, you know how I am. If I want something, I'll do what it takes to get it. If I want someone then –"

"Please," Lightning said, making a face. "Don't give me the details."

Vanille laughed. "Fine, but you're missing out because Hope is really, really –"

Lightning shuddered. "Vanille, I really don't want to know." She paused and her eyes softened. "But he makes you happy, right?"

Vanille nodded. "Maybe the happiest I've ever been."

There was a strange note to the other woman's voice. "What do you mean?" Lightning asked.

Vanille paused, seemingly unsure of whether she should answer. Finally, she spoke. "Look… I love you and Fang, you know that right?" Vanille sighed and turned her eyes to the smooth surface of the lake. "It's just… sometimes I get jealous." Her eyes drifted from the water to Averia and Diana. They had finally gotten a bite, and Diana's whole body was taut as she grappled with her unbelievably evil underwater adversary. "But it can be hard sometimes looking at you two and seeing everything you've got." Vanille laughed quietly. "Maker, that makes me sound like such a jerk. What I mean is… you've got a tough job, but it's one you love, and you've got Fang, and you've got the girls." Vanille bit her lip. "It's fun being the crazy aunt and everything, but I'd love to have what you and Fang have, you know."

Lightning sighed. "You're not a jerk, Vanille, and believe me, I do understand."

"You do?" Vanille tilted her head to one side. "Personal experience then?"

"In a way." Lightning winced. "I was actually a little jealous of Serah for a while. It's not that I wanted Snow or anything." Lightning shuddered. "But I used to look at her and see how happy she was and wonder why I couldn't have that same kind of happiness. I'd given up so much for her – and damn it, I'd do it all again if I had to – but why couldn't I get my happy ending?" She chuckled softly. "But I was just too blind to see what was right in front of me, or rather, who was right in front of me." She looked over to the other side of the lake where Fang and Hope were. "And even if you and Serah did go a bit far sometimes, you did help me and Fang work things out. So, if Hope makes you happy then I guess that's fine with me."

"He does make me happy," Vanille said. "Very happy." She gave Lightning a curious look. "But I am kind of curious. Why aren't you threatening him or anything?"

Lightning shrugged. "Oh, he knows what I'll do to him if he hurts you. Besides, Fang is much more creative when it comes to threats." She scowled. "But I hope you realise that if he hurts you then I'm going to have to kill him." Her voice was deadly serious.

Vanille leaned over to give Lightning a hug. "I know, but he won't hurt me."

Lightning smiled faintly. "Still, I kind of wish I could hear what the two of them were saying to each other." She gave the other side of the lake another glance.

Vanille sighed. "I love Fang, Lightning, really, I do. But you know how she gets." She rolled her eyes. "I think it's probably for the best if she gets the whole overprotective thing out of her system before the wedding."

"Wedding?" Lightning asked sharply.

"He hasn't said anything just yet." Vanille grinned. "But he will." She frowned. "And that's why Fang better not spear him."

"Don't worry, Averia wasn't lying. I did tell Fang that there was to be no spearing." Lightning's eyes narrowed. "I also said she couldn't strangle him or anything like that, and I even put in a no Eidolon clause too. Still… you can use fishing line to garrotte someone, although that could be considered strangling…"

"Fishing line?" Vanille made a face. "I don't think Fang would use fishing line. Probably."

Just then there was a splash and Lightning looked over to see Diana holding up her fishing rod. A fish was wriggling about from the end her fishing line sending water everywhere. "Take that, fish!" Diana cried as she shook one of her fists at the fish. "Diana: one, fish: zero."

X X X

Across the lake, things were going somewhat less well.

There were very, very few people that could really frighten Hope, but Fang was one of them. He'd seen her at her best and at her worst, and he was not keen on fighting someone that had actually managed to kill a Behemoth King with her bare hands. However, if that was what he had to do to get Fang's approval, then that was what he would do. Even if Vanille didn't need Fang's approval – she was a grown woman, after all – he knew how much it would mean to her.

"I'm as serious about Vanille as I can be." Hope squared his shoulders. "I… I love her, Fang, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her." He smiled. "I want to have kids with her and grow old with her, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am to have her. And I am lucky, damn lucky."

"That serious, huh?" Fang studied him closely. Her eyes were hard, unreadable. "You know how this would have worked back in the old days?"

"Not really, but I can guess." Hope tensed.

Fang nodded. "That's right. You'd have to fight me, or barring that, you'd have to fight Lightning seeing as how I'm Vanille's sister and Lightning is my wife. Heck, depending on the circumstances, you might have had to fight both of us."

Hope blanched. Fighting one of them was bad enough, fighting both of them sounded more like suicide.

"But like you said, you're lucky. This isn't the old days, and Lightning's made it pretty clear that nobody will be killing anyone." Fang's lips firmed into a thin line. "And you know, Vanille isn't perfect. I love her, but I know how she can be."

"You're right, but like I said, love her – everything about her." Hope met Fang's gaze evenly.

Fang stared back. "You know you can't do this halfway, Hope. You court her, you marry her then it's forever. You don't get to take things back, you don't get to say 'oops'. If you court her, it's because you're right for her, right enough to be with her for always."

"I know." He and Vanille hadn't discussed marriage yet, but if he had his way, that would change, and soon. "And I'm Vanille's, for as long as she'll have me." He took a deep breath and then leaned forward. His eyes blazed. "I understand how much you want to protect her, Fang, but I'll fight you any damn day of the week – hell, I'll fight you every damn day of the week – if that's what it takes for me to be with her."

"Is that so?" Fang's lips curled. She chuckled and shook her head. "Damn, kid, you've grown up and turned into a man while I wasn't looking." She dragged in a deep breath. "All right. I guess I'll let you try. If things work out and Vanille will have you, then I guess I won't get in the way."

Hope breathed a sigh of relief. That had gone much more easily than he'd expected. He didn't even have a bruise. "Thanks –"

"Oh no, don't thank me just yet." Fang smirked. "You said you'd be willing to fight me every damn day of the week, that's what you said right?" Hope nodded slowly, suddenly feeling very, very ill. "Guess what, you will be fighting me every day of next week." Fang gave a happy whistle and turned back to face the water, feeling much happier than she had in weeks. "Try not to disappoint me." Seeing the horrified look on Hope's face she shrugged. "Well, since I do kind of like you, I guess I could make it Monday to Friday only."

X X X

Lunchtime came and the group met up on the shore of the lake to enjoy a meal of smoked fish. They all had their fair share, except for Diana, who seemed determined to eat as much of the fish as possible, shooting the poor thing a vicious glare the whole time.

"Are you okay, Uncle Hope?" Averia asked. "Did my mommy spear you or anything?"

"No." He winced. "Or at least not yet."

"That's good," Diana said. "I'd be kind of sad if you got speared." She took another bite of her fish.

"Kind of sad?" Vanille grinned and gave Hope a playful poke in the side. "I, for one, would be very sad."

"That's nice to know." He glanced at the fish they'd caught. Fang had caught one, as had he, but it looked like Vanille, Lightning, and the girls had done a much better job of things. "So, who caught all of these fish?"

Diana smiled and pointed at one of the fish. "I caught that one and Averia caught three, but Aunt Vanille caught the rest."

Averia glowered at Vanille. "She cheated. She used her binding rod."

"How is that cheating?" Vanille asked.

Averia pointed at Vanille's binding rod. "It's like using four fishing rods at once. It's totally cheating."

Fang smirked and looked at Lightning. "Wait, am I hearing things right? Lightning didn't catch anything?"

Lightning glared. "I wasn't really trying. Vanille and I were talking."

"Right. But Vanille still caught a lot of fish." Fang grinned. "Well, I guess you can't win them all, Lightning, either that or your glare scared all the fish away."

Diana looked at Lightning. "Your glare can do that?"

"No, it can't." Lightning sighed. "I was just a little unlucky today." She scowled at Fang. "And aren't you just a little bit too happy?"

Fang gave Hope a toothy smile. "Oh, I just worked out my schedule for next week. It'll be a lot of fun."

X X X

Monday. Whack.

Tuesday. Crunch.

Wednesday. Thump.

Thursday. BOOM.

Friday…

"Not bad, Hope," Fang said, leaning on her spear. "Not bad at all."

Hope groaned and dragged himself off the ground. He felt like someone had spent the last week hitting him with a big piece of metal – wait… that had actually happened. As it was, he had bruises in places he hadn't even known he could get bruises and he was sure he had at least one broken rib. On the up side, he'd managed to rough Fang up as well, although she'd definitely gotten the better end of things.

"Thanks." Hope lifted his gun blade back into a ready position.

"Hey, enough of that." Fang lowered her spear. "I guess you'll do. But remember, you make her cry and I'll put you six feet under."

Hope nodded. "I'll remember that." He winced. "Think you could give a man a bit of help back to his office?"

Fang grinned. "Sure, but you should watch your feet. You know how Lightning gets when people get blood on the floor."

Later, much later, Hope was over at Vanille's apartment. The pair of them were curled up in bed. He'd arrived earlier that evening, and Vanille had been very quick to offer him some help with his injuries. She'd even offered to kiss all of them better. Suddenly, all of those bruises hadn't seemed so bad.

"You know," Vanille murmured, running one hand lightly over his chest. "According to Yun custom, a man isn't allowed to share a bed with woman until they're married."

Hope smiled. "Is that so?"

Vanille nodded. "Yes, it is. It's a good thing I don't like custom that much."

Hope chuckled and pressed his face into her hair. "And it's a good thing that Fang doesn't know that we're sleeping together yet." He closed his eyes. "Maybe we can tell her… after we're married."

Vanille grinned. "Is that a proposal?" She yawned. "Still, I think you're right. It'd be a shame to lose you before the wedding."

X X X

Fang grinned and opened the door to Vanille's apartment. The red head had given her a spare key a while ago, and now it was time to make use of it. She knew how much Vanille loved spending time with the girls, and since their school was throwing a festival today, she thought that maybe Vanille would like to come. Unfortunately, Vanille hadn't been answering her phone, so the girls had suggested that they go over to get her. They could make a surprise out of it.

"Hehehehe." Diana was creeping down the corridor like a little ninja. "We'll surprise her for sure."

Just behind her, Averia was also doing her best to move down the corridor as silently as possible. "This can be our revenge for the time she snuck up on us last week." She scowled. "I almost dropped my ice cream because of that."

Fang grinned. If the girls actually could sneak up on Vanille, they deserved a little moment of triumph. "Sure, go ahead."

As the girls continued down the corridor to Vanille's bedroom, Fang's eyes narrowed. There was a jacket on the ground and it wasn't one of Vanille's. Actually… it looked like a Guardian Corps jacket and she knew for a fact that Lightning would never be careless enough to leave one of hers at Vanill's apartment.

At the end of the corridor, Diana took a flying leap and kicked open the door of Vanille's bedroom.

"Surprise!" Diana screamed. "Prepare to meet your… huh?"

Huh? Fang looked away from the jacket. Was something wrong? It wasn't like Diana to just stop in the middle of shouting like that.

Averia frowned and looked into the room and then back at Fang and then back into the room. "Uh… good morning, Uncle Hope."

Uncle Hope?

Uncle Hope?

"What?" Fang blurred into motion. In an instant, she was peering through the bedroom door and the moment that Vanille and Hope laid eyes on her, all hell broke loose. There was a flash of movement, a flash of bare skin, and then a crash. Vanille ended up face-first on the floor, the blankets wrapped around her to preserve her modesty. As for Hope, the poor man had taken one look at Fang and frozen, unsure of whether he should run, scream, or plead for mercy. In any case, it was only sheer, dumb luck that let one of the pillows fall in the perfect place to keep him from exposing himself.

"Averia," Fang growled. "Take your sister back to the car and then bring me my spear."

Averia looked at her Uncle Hope. He was looking at her and though he hadn't said a word, his eyes were practically begging her not to leave him alone with her mommy. She didn't really want to leave him alone with her mommy either. She might not see him again. "But mom said you weren't allowed to spear him."

Fang's jaw clenched. "Oh, that's right. Get me the wrench out of the boot then."

"Uh…" Averia gave her Uncle Hope an apologetic look. He should be okay even if she got her mommy the wrench, right? After all, her Aunt Vanille was there. "Okay." She shrugged at Hope's horrified look. "Sorry, Uncle Hope."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
> 
> I've been waiting for a while to get this chapter out – it's set after Chapter 5 of Tell Me a Story – but other things came up. As you can tell, this chapter assumes that Vanille and Hope have entered into a pretty serious relationship, and as you can imagine, Fang is somewhat less than impressed.
> 
> Incidentally, this isn't the first fishing chapter I've done. I visited the esteemed art of fishing in one of the chapters of my Naruto fanfic (Hyuugas, Hot Springs, and Hinata-chan). Unfortunately for me, I'm actually quite terrible at fishing. In fact, I'm not sure that I've ever met anyone worse. The fish probably have their own sport wherein they gather around my hook for the purposes of laughing at me. Sigh.
> 
> I'm not going to say too much else about this chapter – I think we all know how it feels to think more with our heart than with our head – but I will say that I feel for Fang. Whatever else may have happened, Vanille is her little sister and it's a scary thing to realise that your little sister isn't so little anymore, that's she's getting involved in a serious relationship, going to get married one day, and may even *gasp* be involved in a healthy, sexual relationship. And if you thought what Hope went through was bad, just imagine what Fang and Lightning are going to do once Diana and Averia start dating…
> 
> As always, I appreciate your feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	13. Life, Death, and Taxes

**Life, Death, and Taxes**

Lightning glanced across the kitchen counter at Snow. The tall blonde was engrossed in one of the many maps he'd brought over, but she could tell that something was wrong. Whatever it was, it must be big, because he was a lot… twitchier than usual, even taking into account the fact that it was her he was dealing with.

As for the maps, there were plans for another settlement about a dozen hours north of Bodhum near a cluster of natural springs. Given Snow's heavy involvement in the reconstruction effort after the fall of Cocoon, the settlement's planners wanted his input. Of course, they wanted her input too, but they were smart enough to realise that it would be a lot easier – and arguably a lot safer for them – if they tried to reach her through Snow. Not only would they sidestep much of the paperwork that cluttered her desk at the Guardian Corps, any irritation she might feel would be directed at Snow first and them second. It was a clever plan, overall, if a little underhanded, and she wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that Fang or Vanille had been the ones to suggest it. Still, that didn't explain why Snow was so twitchy.

"Have you finished looking at that one yet?" Lightning asked. He'd already had a few days to look over the maps, so he should have had them all but memorised by now. Oh well, Snow had never been very good at that sort of thing, whereas it was practically a necessity for her.

"Almost." Snow reached for another map and stopped to compare the two. No one had actually gotten around to doing a complete, thorough survey of the area, so for the moment, everything was still sketched out on paper instead of on a computer. "But we're no in a hurry. We've got maybe another week before they need to hear back from us."

Lightning frowned and was pleased see Snow wince. "Unlike you, some of us have a lot of paperwork to do." She tugged another one of the maps over and scowled. She'd passed through the area it depicted a few times, and she was certain that the map was wrong. "I've got yearly personnel reviews coming up, and I would like to have this finished before then."

"Oh." Snow shrugged. "We can work late tonight, I guess."

Lightning nodded absently, her attention on the map in front of her. It couldn't be right. She could distinctly remember there being only a single river in that area, although… maybe it was a seasonal thing? She'd have to ask Fang. "That should be all right. Vanille won't mind staying over a bit longer to watch the kids. I'm just worried about what they'll get up to before she goes."

Snow chuckled faintly, and then got back to the maps. Once she was sure he was focused entirely on the work in front of him, Lightning took another long look at Snow. Normally, he'd be blathering on and on about how exciting the idea of a new settlement was, and frankly, she'd kind of been looking forward to that, not that she'd ever admit it. Whatever faults Snow had – and Lightning kept something of a mental encyclopaedia on the subject – he had learned a surprisingly large amount about town planning and security.

His rather unconventional way of looking at things had also come in handy a few times over the years, and despite her many comments to the contrary, his boisterous nature was occasionally a welcome change to the way her subordinates acted. It was nice to know that her troops had practically deified her, treating her with an amusing mix of awe and terror, but it was a little depressing to realise that not one of them except for Hope had the guts to stand up to her. She was actually thinking of proposing an 'Everyone Wear Bright Pink Except For Me Day' just to see if any of them could work up the guts to complain.

But right now there was none of Snow's usual good cheer or decisiveness on display. Instead, he'd spent the past hour or so brooding, and looking like he wanted to tell her something. Only, each time he opened his mouth, he'd stop short and go back to his maps. And then there was the fidgeting. If he kept tapping his fingers on the top of the counter, she was going to reach over and strangle him. She'd have to make it quiet though, since Claire was only a few rooms over.

Lightning frowned. "Snow."

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

"Snow!" Lightning barked. "Stop tapping and tell me what's wrong."

Snow paused mid-tap, and opened his mouth only to stop. "It's nothing," he said at last, looking back at the maps. "Let's just finish this."

Lightning took a deep breath. She was used to Serah and Vanille trying to give her the run around, and it didn't normally bother her too much, but Snow was sorely, sorely mistaken if he thought she'd cut him the same leeway she cut the two younger women. Honestly, he should know by now that irritating her was the very opposite of a good idea. With a growl, she reached over and pulled the map out of Snow's hands. "You've got five seconds." She glared. "One… two… three…"

"Okay, okay." Snow winced. "It's just, I've been trying to find the right time to tell you, but…"

"But what?" Lightning scowled and reached for her coffee. "Well? Stop wasting time."

Snow looked like he was about to throw up. She only hoped that he would have the decency to go to the sink first if he did. "Serah and I are going to try for another kid."

"Bleargh!" The spray of coffee caught Snow right in the face, and Lightning quickly tossed a few tissues his way. "What did you say?"

Snow dabbed at his face and gave Lightning one of those roguish grins that she knew Serah loved. It had less than no effect on her. In fact, it kind of made her want to punch his teeth in. "Like I said, Serah and I… we're going to try for another kid."

"I see." Lightning was surprised by how outwardly calm she was. In her mind, however, it was a different story. In her mind, she'd already leapt across the counter and was well into the process of throttling her sister's favourite blonde.

It was a good thing for Snow then that she'd mellowed a little over the years. The first time she'd heard about Snow getting her sister pregnant almost a decade ago, she'd grabbed her gun blade and gone after Snow on Odin. Only the timely intervention of the blonde's own, speedy Eidolon had kept him alive – that and the fact that Serah had screamed like a banshee before throwing herself at Lightning in a blaze of protective fury. Lightning had never been able to bring herself to hit her sister, and knowing that Serah was pregnant had made it even harder to defend herself from the younger woman. Naturally, Fang had found the whole thing hilarious, as had Bahamuth apparently, since the pair had followed just to make sure Lightning didn't actually kill Snow before settling down to watch the show. Stupid dragon.

Now, however, all Lightning felt was a mild stab of irritation at the blonde, and even that soon faded. It was probably because of Claire. Lightning hadn't been sure what kind of father Snow would make, and really, she hadn't been too optimistic to begin with, but over the past nine years, Snow had proven to be an excellent father. Claire adored him and he was right up there on Diana's list of favourite relatives, albeit below Hope because the younger man always brought her candy.

"Tell me," Lightning murmured. "What exactly brought this on?"

Snow sighed and sagged back into his chair. "Phew, I was worried you were going to shoot me or something. You almost did the last time."

Lightning gave him a flat look and then tossed a quick glance at her gun blade, which was only a few steps away. "I can do that if you want. I'll even give you a few seconds head start since you're family now."

Snow waved his hands. "Uh, no, talking should be fine." He paused and gathered up all of the maps and other documents scattered across the counter. "We've been thinking about it for a long time, actually. You know I've always wanted to have a large family, and so has Serah, and lately Claire's been asking about when she's going to get a sibling of her own." He grinned. "I think she wants one so the girls can have even teams when they play."

Lightning's eyes narrowed. "Please tell me that you have a better reason than that. Stop messing around, Snow. It's not like you. Get to the point."

He dragged in a deep, deep breath, and looked down at the counter top. "Remember when Claire was born?" His voice was just a little bit hoarse. "Remember that?"

Lightning shuddered. That had been… hard. The birth had been difficult, and Serah had needed so much medical assistance just to get through it. There had been a few minutes – probably the worst few minutes in Lightning's life – when she had been afraid that she might lose her sister. What made it even worse was that it wasn't something she could shoot, stab, or kill. All she could do was wait outside and let the doctor's do their work. And Snow had taken things just as hard as she had. She could count on one hand the number of times she'd ever seen the big man cry – he'd been sobbing like a baby the first time he'd seen Claire, and he'd sniffled a bit at the altar when he'd married Serah – but that day… she'd never forget the sight of him bent over in a chair, his head in his hands, weeping like his world was ending.

"I remember." Lightning shook herself to force the memories back. It was fine now, her sister had gotten through the birth, and Claire had been perfectly healthy.

"After that, I was afraid." Snow rubbed his hands together like he was very cold. "Seeing Serah like that… I love my daughter, Lightning, I love her so damn much, but if having another kid meant putting Serah through that sort of pain again, I'd never forgive myself." He swallowed thickly. "But you know, Serah, when she wants something… anyway, she's been seeing some doctors lately – specialists – and they think that with a bit of help, things should go much better this time. There's no reason for me to say no anymore, and both Serah and I have always wanted to have more kids."

Snow glanced in the direction of the living room as Vanille's mad cackling echoed through the air followed by cries of lamentation from the girls. "Watching Diana and Averia grow up, they're so close, the way sister should be, and they treat Claire the same. But I'd like it if maybe Claire had a sibling of her own, someone she could look after the way Averia looks Diana because you know how possessive Averia can be sometimes."

Lightning felt a small smile tug at her lips. Avera took her role as a big sister very seriously. Claire could, and did, play the part a lot, but there were some 'big sister things' that Averia refused to let anyone else do, even her cousin. "Yes, I do."

"And a lot of the teachers at the school where Serah works have been having children too, so it's hard for her not to think about." Snow sighed. "You know how I grew up, Lightning. I had a tough time, and there's nothing I want more than to have a big, happy family with Serah, but sometimes I wonder… Serah's a great mother. Claire can go to her for anything, and Serah's always the one keeping on top of all the things like school, and doctor's appointments." He shook his head. "I never really had a father, so I don't know if I'm doing it right. I can't stand the thought of being a bad father, and if we have another kid… what if I mess up?" He chuckled softly and scratched his head. "Listen to me, I must sound like an idiot."

Lightning took a moment to gather her thoughts. Years ago, she might have laughed, but she'd changed since then, and she liked to think it was for the better. Biting back a grimace, she reached across the counter to pat his hand. "Snow, you do sound like an idiot – you're a great father."

Snow gaped. "What?"

Lightning took a quick look to make sure that no one else was around. "You heard me. You're a good father, Snow, and Claire is lucky to have you." She caught and held his gaze. "So don't worry about messing up, because I know you won't. And if you and Serah want to have more kids, well, you don't really need my approval, but you've got that too, for what it's worth."

Snow's smile was so bright Lightning was tempted to lift one hand to shield her eyes. "Really?

"Yes, really." Lightning folded her arms over her chest and did her best not to blush. Damn it, when had she gotten so used to the big lug? Just for that, she wanted to give him a good left hook to chin, but he was too far away for her to reach without getting up.

"Thanks." Snow smiled. "It really means a lot to me, and I can't wait to tell –"

"You are not saying a word to anyone." Lightning ground the words out and scowled. "I have a reputation to keep."

Snow laughed. "Fair enough, but can I at least tell Serah?" He smirked. "It'll get you into her good books for at least a month."

A month? "Fine, but only Serah." Lightning frowned. "Because if Sazh finds out, I'll never hear the end of it. I swear, he thinks the two of us are best friends or something."

"That's just Sazh," Snow said. "He thinks everyone's friends. Vanille must have infected him or something when they first met."

Lightning could easily imagine that. Vanille's enthusiasm and zest for life were highly contagious. If Vanille had run into Snow all of those year ago instead of Sazh… the fal'Cie might easily have died from the resulting avalanche of smiles, optimism, and ridiculously heroic thinking.

The sounds of yelling came from the living room, and Lightning tilted her head to one side.

"Care to bet what all the fuss is about?"

Snow shook his head. "After seeing what the girls get up to on a regular basis? Not a chance."

X X X

Vanille studied the monopoly board and struggled not to stroke her metaphorical beard. The three foolish girls who had chosen to stand against her were doomed. Already, two thirds of the board belonged to her, and the rest would not be far behind.

"Your turn, Diana." Vanille handed the dice to the little girl with an evil grin and barely restrained a cackle. "And try not to land on anything of mine." She paused. "Oh wait, that's impossible."

Diana gave her a dirty look and shook fist at her. "Just you wait, I'll show you, Aunt Vanille!"

With her face set into a mask of concentration, Diana began to shake the dice in her hand. Normally Eidolon Monopoly was awesome since she got to be Bahamut. Claire was always Shiva, and she could always pout and look sad until Averia agreed to be Odin, but things were different this time. Her Aunt Vanille had come to play, and she was really, really tough.

Diana stood to her full height, and pointed one finger defiantly at her Aunt Vanille. "I won't land on any of your spots, Aunt Vanille, and then you'll land on all of mine, and then you'll lose!"

Vanille politely refrained from pointing out that Diana had a grand total of three properties, all of which were on the cheapest part of the board. "Is that so? Well, go ahead and roll the dice then, Diana. We'll see who the winner is."

Diana hurled the dice at the board. "Take this, Aunt Vanille!" The dice skidded across the board and then came to a stop. "Seven? But a seven puts me on…" Her eyes widened. "Uh oh."

Vanille grinned. "That's right, a seven puts you on the most expensive spot of all – one that just so happens to belong to me."

"Ah!" Diana pointed at Vanille again, her arm trembling in a mixture of horror and outrage. "That's not fair! I want a reroll. I bet you used your powers or something."

Vanille wasn't sure what kind of powers Diana thought she had, but a reroll sounded interesting. "I guess we could do a reroll, but… if you land on that square again, then you owe me double."

"Double?" Diana pouted and clasped her hands in front of her. "But why are you being so mean to me, Aunt Vanille? I'm just a little kid and…"

"Not going to work on me, kiddo." Vanille grinned and ruffled Diana's hair. "After all, I was the one who taught you how to do that. So, what do you say? Take the reroll and risk double?"

Diana pouted. Her Aunt Vanille was too tricky. "Fine, I'll take the reroll, but I won't land on the same spot. I'm too lucky for that!"

Diana rolled the dice.

One came up three. The other came up four. Seven. Again.

"But… but that's impossible." Diana stared at the dice before looking toward Averia and Claire for support. "She did something, right? She cheated, didn't she?"

Averia winced. She'd been watching her Aunt Vanille very closely, and she hadn't seen a thing. "Actually, I don't think she did."

"But… but… that means…" Diana swallowed thickly.

Vanille nodded. "That's right, you owe me double now, and that means you're in a lot of trouble." She counted the small pile of gil in front of Diana. "In fact, unless I'm mistaken, you don't have enough to pay me, not even if you give me all of your money and all of your properties." She gave Diana a keen look. "So, how are you going to make up the difference?"

Diana smiled as cutely as she could at Averia and Claire. "Lend me money?"

Both girls shook their heads. The way their Aunt Vanille was playing, they needed every gil.

"We've barely got enough for ourselves," Claire said.

"Averia?" Diana tugged at her sister's sleeve, her big, blue eyes watering. "Sister? Please?"

Averia twitched and had to fight to keep her hands in her lap. Her sister was faking. She had to be. "If this was real life, I'd lend you lots of money, but this is just a game and…" She winced. "Sorry."

Vanille gave Diana a gentle pat on the shoulder. "That's all right, Diana. If you can't find the money, then there's always another way you could pay me." She reached over and lifted Diana into her lap. "Since you can't pay me, I get to have you as well as all of your property and money. Hehe." Vanille smirked. "From now on, you have to be my minion."

"Your minion?" Diana's eyes widened. "Noooooo!"

Averia shot to her feet. "You can't do that. Diana is my minion – I mean my sister."

"Well, she wouldn't be my minion forever,' Vanille replied, settling Diana more comfortably onto her lap. "It would only be for this game, and it's not like being my minion would be all bad." She handed Diana a big wad of monopoly money. "Since you're my minion now, Diana, I have to pay you, and now it's the two of us against Averia and Claire."

Diana looked from the wad of gil in her hands to her sister and her cousin. "Cool, I'm your minion now!"

However, Diana didn't turn out to be quite as good a minion as Vanille had hoped. After letting the girl roll the dice for her a few times, she found her leading beginning to slip away.

"I'd like to buy my sister back," Averia said. "How much?"

Vanille looked at the big pile of gil in front of Averia and bit back a smile. Perfect. "I don't know, Averia," Vanille said, wrapping her arms around Diana. "Diana is quite a good little sister. She's cute, and cuddly, and one of only three people in the world with Yun blood. Why, I'm not sure you have enough to buy her back."

Averia's eye twitched, and Vanille fought the urge to laugh. The girl was so like Lightning sometimes that it was scary. Of course, Vanille would never mess with Lightning like this, but Averia was a different story. Besides, what were aunts for? "I know what you're doing, Aunt Vanille, and I'm not going to give you all of my money. How about if I buy just her legs back?"

Vanille grinned and shifted to examine the legs in question, prompting a wave of giggles from Diana who had, over the past few minutes, begun to stuff her pockets with Vanille's gil. "These are good legs, too, Averia. I guess I could sell you half a leg for half of what you've got."

"Half a leg?" Averia frowned. "That's not fair. Diana's legs are okay, I guess, but it's not like she's our mom or anything. Our mom's got great legs – at least according to our mommy – and she can run really fast and even kick people through walls. Diana can't do any of that."

Diana twisted in Vanille's grip, nearly kicking the red head in the face. "Hey! I'll be able to do those things when I'm older."

Vanille nodded sagely. "That's a good point. But fine, Averia, how about I sell you one leg for a third of what you have."

"Fine." Averia grabbed Diana's right leg. "I want this one."

And so the game continued, but now, instead of just being in Vanille's lap, Diana's right leg was stretched over the board into Averia's lap.

"How about an arm?" Claire asked a few mintues later. Vanille had started to claw back the lead, but Claire had quite a bit saved up. "How much would an arm cost?"

"Hmmmm…" Vanille took a long look at Claire's stack of gil. "I'll give you an arm for a quarter of what you've got."

Claire nodded and ignored the dirty look Averia sent her way. She was only trying to help. "I think I'll take Diana's left arm."

"Uh… I'm not so sure this is a good idea." Diana scratched her head with her right hand. She was still mostly in her aunt's lap, but now Averia had one of her legs, and Claire had her other arm. "It isn't too comfortable either and I might fall on the board."

Vanille giggled and patted Diana on the head. "Quiet, lackey."

Diana bristled. "Hey, I thought I was a minion!"

"Lackey, minion, same thing." Vanille grinned. "Now, how about we get back to the game."

The game continued with Diana stretched over the board like some bizarre kind of pretzel as Vanille slowly, but surely, pulled further and further ahead. Finally though, it was over, and Vanille took a moment to savour the sight of yet another monopoly board completely under her control.

"You're too good at this, Aunt Vanille," Claire complained. "We never win against you when it's monopoly."

Averia scowled and grabbed hold of Diana. Now that the game was over, Diana was her minion/little sister again. "And you didn't even cheat or anything. You're just really, really good, and really, really lucky." Somehow, her Aunt Vanille almost always managed to avoid landing on her properties.

"Yeah." Diana took the opportunity to latch onto her sister's middle. Being her Aunt Vanille's minion had been sort of cool since it meant that in a way, she'd won too. "How come you're so good?"

Vanille chuckled. "Back in my day, girls, there were two rules that people always followed." She smirked. "First, never pick a fight with a Yun, and second, never bet against a Dia when there's money involved." She pointed at the monopoly board. "See what I mean?"

"I bet our mom could beat you," Diana said. "She wins at everything. Well, almost everything." Her mommy was better with a spear than her mom, for example.

Vanille cackled. "As a matter of fact, I have played your mom at monopoly before, and I beat her too." It wasn't a lie either. On one of their more recent girls' nights in, they had decided to play monopoly. Vanille had ended up richer than she imagined possible while Serah, Fang, Lightning, and Lebreau had ended up just their underwear in a desperate bid to stay in the game and beat her. Needless to say, the older Farron had not been pleased, but Vanille was just awesome like that.

It was the same in poker too. Lightning had a heck of a poker face, and the pink haired woman could count cards like nobody's business, but Vanille could count cards too, and even if her poker face wasn't the best, she possessed the great gambling equaliser – more luck than she could shake a stick at. The look on Lightning's face after Vanille had managed to put together five – that's right, five! – consecutive straight flushes had been something else, especially when it became obvious that Vanille hadn't cheated. It was a shame she couldn't convince Hope to play strip poker more often – not that she needed to anymore, although it was kind of fun to watch him squirm.

"I am the champion when it comes to anything involving luck or money," Vanille declared. "Challenge me at your own peril."

"I guess." Claire rolled onto her back. "Has anyone got another game? I don't want to play again if Aunt Vanille is just going to win anyway, and it'd be lame if we had to ask her to take it easy on us." She glanced at Diana. "How about that new video game, the one with all the zombies? We could play that."

Diana perked up at once. "I know a game, and it's even got zombies in it. Even better it's not a video game – it's real life."

Averia gave her sister's cheek a squeeze. It was nice having her little sister/minion back. "You can't have zombies in real life."

"Yes, you can." Diana huffed. "In this game you can."

"Really?" Vanille was interested now. Diana's games were always interesting, although they were often a little weird – no, scratch that, they were usually amazingly weird. "What's this game called?"

Diana nodded smugly. "Super mega zombie apocalypse survivor tag… version two." She paused. "Point two."

Claire and Averia looked at each other and then at Vanille. The red head could practically see the wheels in their head turning: why exactly was it version two point two?

"So… how does super mega zombie apocalypse survivor tag… version two point two actually work?"

"I'll tell you, but you have to keep it a secret." Diana looked about furtively. "It's a special game that's been passed down through generations of my class – it's even been around longer than Miss Gainsborough has been at school." Diana looked and sounded so awed that Vanille couldn't quite bring herself to point out that Aerith had only been at Diana's school for three years. Besides, she had a feeling that the game was something Diana and her friends Rikku and Yuffie had come up with after playing the zombie game that Claire had mentioned. Either that, or they'd seen a zombie movie. "And only the coolest and most awesome people can play. But don't worry… you guys can play since you're my family and stuff."

It took a moment for the meaning of Diana's words to sink in, and then it took another five minutes for Vanille to calm Averia and Claire down. Apparently, it was all a horrible misunderstanding. Both Averia and Claire were cool and awesome, Diana explained, they were just less cool and awesome than her. Cue another scuffle before the trio made peace with all three of them agreeing that they were all, in fact, equally cool and awesome.

Despite the name – which Vanille had to admit was pretty cool and mostly awesome – the rules of the game were actually quite simple. There were two teams: survivors and zombies. The goal of the survivors was to get from their starting location in the burnt out ruins of a zombie-infested city (Diana and Averia's room) to a secret research lab (a tree in the backyard) where they could retrieve a sample of the cure to the zombie virus (a can of cola) before fleeing to a transport hub (the front gate) that would take them safely to a secure Guardian Corps facility (the living room where they would, presumably, feast on candy and junk food until such time as Lightning told them to stop).

After listening to that, Vanille was convinced that the game really was based on a zombie movie that had been on television a few nights ago – the same night that Diana had happened to be over at Yuffie's house for a sleepover with Yuffie and Rikku.

As for the zombies, their goal was to stop the survivors from completing their objective. They could attack the survivors by either biting them or clawing them, although Diana was very adamant that absolutely no real biting was allowed. Vanille suspected that had something to do with Diana having a wobbly tooth, which put her at a considerable disadvantage when it came to biting. However, some level of clawing seemed to be okay, which made Vanille wonder what had happed the last time Diana had played the game, especially if she'd played it with Yuffie and Rikku.

Anyway, any survivor who got bitten became infected. If it was in the neck, then they turned into a zombie after ten seconds, and if it was somewhere else, they had thirty seconds, although they could 'cut off' an infected limb to stop the infection and stay as a survivor. Naturally, no real cutting off of limbs was allowed, although any limb that got cut off could not be used for the rest of the game. Likewise, any limb that got clawed was also useless. All things considered, it was actually pretty realistic.

The survivors could also kill the zombies, but only by shooting them with foam bullets from toy guns that the girls oh so conveniently happened to have lying around. The vulnerable areas would be highlighted by pieces of orange cloth, but the zombies only stayed dead for twenty seconds before coming back to life. However, they weren't allowed to bash zombies to death, and Diana gave a long, florid description of how Yuffie had gotten into trouble for bonking Rikku in the head the last time they'd played. And that, Vanille thought, would explain the bump on Rikku's head and the sour look on Yuffie's face when Vanille had gone with Fang to pick Diana up from the sleepover.

All in all, it sounded like a fine game, albeit one that made Vanille wonder about what went on in the mind of the average – or not so average – first grader. With Averia and Claire only too eager to start, there was only one small problem… who should be the leader of the survivors?

"I'm going to be the leader!" Diana stood, her chest puffed out, and her hands on her hips. She looked for all the world like someone utterly assured of the complete and inevitable totality of her victory. It lasted about three seconds.

"No," Averia stood up, using her extra height to its full effect. "You were the leader last time. This time, I'm the leader."

Averia's statement was met by a glare from her younger sister and Vanille could only watch as the scene unfolded. It was like one of those nature documentaries that Diana loved to watch, and as the sisters argued, she could hear Sazh's voice in her head narrating the whole thing.

_Although young, the Averia is a dangerous predator, gifted with great speed and agility. The Averia is also renowned for its superb reflexes._

With a growl, Diana threw a quick kick at Averia's shin, only for the older girl to ghost out of the way. Scowling, Averia put one hand on Diana's head as the younger girl flailed away with both arms, completely failing to make contact with anything but the air.

_The Diana, although lacking the speed and strength of the Averia, is still a dangerous creature. Where the Averia seeks to use its superior strength, speed, and reach to fight from a distance and with devastating precision, the Diana relies on its cunning and ability to grapple to even the odds._

Shifting her weight, Diana leapt into the air, and wrapped her legs around her sister's arm. It was, Vanille thought, an almost perfect attempt at an arm bar. The pair tumbled to the ground, and Averia immediately rolled, preventing her sister from locking the arm bar in.

"Does your daddy teach you how to do things like that?" Vanille asked Claire as the pink haired girl looked on with interest. It was nice that the girls knew how to defend themselves, but did a six year old really need to know how to do an arm bar?

Claire nodded. "Yes. He says that the earlier I start learning, the better I'll be." She tilted her head to one side as Diana switched from trying to get Averia into an arm bar, to simply trying to strangle the older girl with her legs. "A triangle choke? Not bad."

Vanille nodded slowly.

And in her head, Sazh's voice continued to drone on…

_In the battle for leadership, tenacity is an important attribute. However, due to their immense stubbornness, it is not unusual for stalemates between the Averia and the Diana to occur. The results can sometimes be terrible to behold. At other times, they can be quite comical._

Averia had managed to break the choke, but Diana had managed to keep hold with her legs, and despite the fact that she was hanging upside down, she started throwing punches at her sister's stomach, almost all of which were either evaded or blocked.

_But apart from the Averia and the Diana, there is also the Claire. Although capable of the same ferocity as the Averia and the Diana, the Claire will sometimes rely on a rarely used tactic – logic – to support its case for leadership. Studies of its parentage suggest that this stems primarily from the mother's side._

"Diana was the leader the last time, but you were the leader the time before that, Averia." Claire sidestepped neatly as Averia staggered past, Diana still latched onto her. "That means that this time, I'm the leader." Claire folded both arms over her chest and struck her most heroic pose – one she'd learned from studying countless photographs of her daddy. "And that's final."

Silence. Dead silence.

Vanille had to give Claire credit. The girl had guts – guts she'd probably picked up from watching her father boldly butt heads with Lightning over the years. She just hoped that Claire would have more success with it than Snow, since unlike Serah she couldn't pull the little sister card on her cousins.

Diana slithered off Averia and the pair rounded on Claire.

_However, the use of logic can often backfire, turning both the Averia and the Diana against the Claire. Luckily, however, there is a fourth species often found in the Yun-Farron household that neither the Averia, the Diana, nor the Claire can resist. The Vanille – the most cunning and intelligent of all predators, and the only species except for the Serah capable of fighting both the Lightning and the Fang and surviving._

"All right, that's enough." Vanille clapped her hands together. "Let's vote on it."

Diana let go of Claire's leg. "I vote me." She grinned. "Because I'm awesome."

"Well, I vote me." Averia scowled. "Because I'm more awesome." And for that she got a kick in the shins. "Ouch. That was cheating, Diana, Aunt Vanille said we were going to vote!"

Diana grinned. "But mommy always says to cheat if you're fighting someone bigger than you, and you're both a lot bigger than me."

Claire took a step away from Diana. "And I vote for me, which makes it a tie."

Vanille smirked. "Aren't you forgetting someone? There's four of us, and I get to vote." She nodded at Claire. "I vote for you too."

"What?" Diana threw herself at Vanille's feet dramatically. "But you can't do that, Aunt Vanille. I'm your favourite youngest niece so you have to vote for me."

"So what? I'm her favourite oldest niece," Averia countered.

Vanille chuckled. "I'm voting for Claire because she was right – it is her turn – and I know how bossy you two can be." She nodded sagely. "A good leader knows that in order to lead, it is also necessary to know how to follow." She gave Averia and Diana a serious look. "That's an old Yun saying, one that your mommy taught me. After all, didn't your mommy follow your mom's lead during our journey? And weren't there times when even your mom trusted Claire's daddy to lead?"

"I guess." Averia nodded slowly and gave Vanille a thoughtful look. "You know, that's a really smart saying, Aunt Vanille, but I don't think mommy has ever said anything like that to me."

Of course Fang hadn't, Vanille had just made the whole thing up, although the girls didn't need to know that. They also didn't need to know that at least part of the reason that Fang let Lightning take the lead was because liked walking behind the other woman. Not only was she safe from Lightning's killer glare, the view wasn't too bad either, especially when they were going uphill. As for letting Snow take the lead while Fang and Lightning went ahead to scout, Vanille didn't believe that for a second. The two had gone off to do their weird fight/flirt thing, and no one would ever persuade her otherwise.

However, Diana still wasn't convinced. "What about if we got our mom and Uncle Snow to vote. They'll be playing too."

"It wouldn't work." Averia shrugged. "Mom would definitely vote for one of us, but Uncle Snow would definitely vote for Claire. She'd still win."

Claire smiled sunnily. "Yep." She gave Diana a pat on the head and was rewarded with a glare. "So, my faithful minion, is there anything else we need to practice before we play?"

"There's a few things," Diana said. "And don't call me your minion. Anyway, we need to practice moving each other around. When I was playing with Yuffie and Rikku, it was really hard moving someone around when their legs got clawed, so we should practice that."

Vanille watched as Diana flopped onto the ground and gestured for Averia and Claire to grab her by the legs. This ought to be fun to watch.

_Despite years of careful study, researchers have yet to determine the exact causes of the often bizarre behaviour of the Averia, the Diana, and the Claire. Some researchers have even argued that there are no causes, that the three species in question simply do not plan their behaviour in any rational way. Perhaps there is some truth to that. It certainly seems plausible enough._

X X X

"Ouch!" Averia shouted. "You're pulling off my legs!"

Lightning paused at the living room door and looked at Snow. Completely serious, she asked, "Are you still sure that you want to have more kids?"

The big man laughed. "Sure, it'll be at least a few years before any new kid gets up to the same mischief as the girls." He shuddered. "Frankly, I'm more worried about what the girls are going to get up to in their teens."

Lightning was also worried about that, especially since all three of the girls took after their parents in the looks department. She had a feeling that her gun blade would be seeing plenty of use warding off potential suitors, but on the upside, she was also the commander of the Guardian Corps in this area and on track to become a general, which should make it much easier to hide all of the evidence – and the bodies.

Smiling slightly, she opened the living room door and then stopped. She'd seen a great many unusual things over the years, and part of her was almost expecting the girls to have put together a functioning combining robot with Vanille's help. What she found, however, was a game of monopoly off to one side – all of it probably owned by Vanille – and Averia on her back being dragged across the living room by Claire and Diana while Vanille shouted words of encouragement.

"Ouch!" Averia hissed. "Diana, you stepped on my hair."

The younger girl made a face and jabbed one finger at the offending lock of hair. "It's not my fault it keeps getting in the way." She threw her hands up, letting Averia's left leg drop to the ground, which had the added effect of almost tripping Claire over. "Rikku was way easier to drag around than you."

Lightning was almost tempted to ask what Diana meant by that before realising that she almost certainly didn't want to know. And so long as she didn't know, she had plausible deniability. "So… anyone care to explain what you're doing?" She pinned Vanille with her gaze. "Well?"

What followed was a swift but spiteful retelling from the girls about how their evil Aunt Vanille had cruelly bullied them in a game of monopoly, using her powers of evil, treachery, and unmatched grownup duplicity to seize control of the game. There was even a description in there of how the red head had auctioned off parts of Diana's body – and at tremendously inflated prices too. After they had finished pillorying Vanille, the girls then moved on to explaining the rules of a strangely realistic zombie survival game that Diana had, apparently, received from other members of her class in an ancient and sacred first grade ritual that predated Aerith's arrival at the school by at least several millennia.

"Right." Lightning rubbed her face with one hand and did her best to ignore the big grin on Snow's face. The big lug really was still a kid inside. "Now, if you're going to drag people around, I might as well show you how." She bent down and grabbed Averia under the armpits. "Drag someone like this if they're too heavy for you to lift. Otherwise, you can use a fireman's hold."

"Here, I'll show you." Snow reached for Lightning only to freeze as the pink haired woman shot him a glare. "Or maybe not. How about I show you using your Aunt Vanille?"

Vanille eyed the glare on Lightning's face. The pink haired woman guarded her personal space more viciously than a hedgehog. Only a select few people were allowed to dive in for a hug, and Snow, unfortunately, was not one of them. "Sure."

After Snow had demonstrated a few other ways that someone could be carried, it was almost time to start. All they had to do now was to give the zombies – the grownups – the orange patches that defined where they could be shot with the foam bullets. Claire went off to find the weapons while Averia and Diana rummaged around for some orange pieces of cloth.

Averia and Diana came back a few minutes later with two bandanas and some patches of orange cloth.

"Put these on your head," Diana said, waving the bandanas at Vanille and Snow. "And you can tape the patches to your shirts and stuff."

After a bit of fumbling, both Vanille and Snow had orange bandanas on their head. The red head also had a single orange patch over her heart while the blonde had several orange patches scattered across his chest.

"You know, this seems a little unfair." Snow poked one of the patches on his chest. "I'm wearing a lot more orange than your Aunt Vanille."

"It's because you're big." Claire ambled back into the room with three toy guns and several magazines of foam bullets. "You're like a super zombie."

Snow perked up. "A super zombie? Cool."

Claire nodded eagerly. "Yep, since you're bigger, you've also got longer arms and stuff, so it'll be really easy for you to claw us. If you only had one patch like Aunt Vanille, you'd be way too strong."

"Are you the leader this time, Claire?" Snow asked.

Claire smirked. "Yes, and there's no way I'm going to loose." She struck a pose. "Heroes never lose."

And then it was Lightning's turn. Wordlessly, Diana and Averia handed their mother an orange bandana – and a long-sleeved orange shirt, orange trousers, and orange shoes.

Vanille stared for a second and then started to snigger. "Do I even want to know why you have an entirely orange outfit?"

Lightning shot the Dia a dirty look. "You know Fang's idea of having a 'let's do everything as a family day' every month? Well, when it was Diana's turn to choose, she decided that we should have an 'everyone dress up in orange day'."

"Ah." Vanille turned to Diana and gave her a big thumbs up. "Good job."

The little girl beamed. "Thanks, Aunt Vanille, maybe next time you can wear orange too."

"Yes, that sounds lovely." Lightning stepped out of the room for a moment to change. "But why do I have to wear so much orange? Won't this make it too easy to hit me?"

The girls looked at one another for a second before Claire decided to speak up.

"Not really. I mean, you can almost dodge real bullets, so if we didn't have you wearing this much orange, we'd never hit you." She scratched her head. "Oh, and no powers and stuff, and that includes no Eidolons. Zombies don't get Eidolons."

Lightning stepped back into the room and to their credit Vanille and Snow just barely managed to keep from bursting into laughter. Lightning sighed. The things she did for her children. "Fine, let's get started."

X X X

Claire gazed intently at her cousins. The two other girls weren't professionals, but she'd take them over any of the new recruits at the Guardian Corps if there was a zombie fight, especially if all the things her Aunt Lightning said about the new recruits were true. Right now, the three of them were holed up in Diana and Averia's bedroom. They had a few minutes before the game started, so as team leader, it was up to her to plan.

It was a good thing that she knew her cousins well, maybe even better than she knew herself. Averia was the fastest runner in the whole school and she was only in the fourth grade. She was strong too, and her reflexes were lightning fast. If they needed someone to go up ahead and scout, Averia was their best bet. Claire was stronger and probably had more endurance than Averia, but those probably wouldn't matter too much when it came to fighting off endless waves of the hungry dead.

As for Diana, the youngest of the group wasn't as strong or as fast as Claire, but a lot of that had to do with how young and little she was. But what Diana lacked in strength or size, she made up for in sneakiness and cunning – a lot like their Aunt Vanille. So if they needed someone to sneak around and look for traps, or even set up an ambush, Diana was perfect for the job.

And then there was her. Claire liked to think she was balanced. She was strong, and fast, and clever, and she was good at most things, and she was more even-tempered than both of her cousins too. In a harrowing battle like the one they were about to walk into, perhaps her greatest strength would be something she got from her daddy. She would never ever give up, and nothing would ever get her down. It didn't matter how bad things were, or how many zombies they had to fight, she'd stay upbeat. She had good aim too, and she liked to think she got that from her mommy, since her mommy was the only one who could get even close to outshooting her Aunt Lightning.

Claire grinned. Whenever a carnival came to town, she always spent at least an hour going to all the shooting and archery booths winning as many stuffed animals and prizes as she could. It was a lot cheaper to win a stuffed animal from a booth than to buy one from a store, and if she got too many, then she could always give them away to her family and friends. But things wouldn't be so easy this time. Targets didn't hit back – zombies did. Once the game started, she'd hang back a little, offering supporting fire and giving orders.

"So what's the plan?" Averia asked, breaking Claire out of her thoughts. "We could try going down the stairs and out the backdoor. Once we grab the can of cola – I mean the cure – we can circle around the side to the front gate."

Diana shook her head. "That won't work. Mom's too tricky, she'll get us for sure."

Claire bit her lip. "Your mom's really smart. She'll be expecting us to go the quickest way. What we need to do is lure them out into the open so we can pick them off." She grabbed Averia's arm. "Averia, I want you to scout a little bit ahead of us. If they see you then run back to us and we'll get them. Diana, I want you looking for any tricks or traps – you're good at that."

"Okay." Averia checked her rifle to make sure it was loaded properly. "I can do that, but what route are we going to take to get to the backyard?"

"We'll go downstairs," Claire said. "And then we'll try the laundry room door. They won't be expecting that. Once we've got the cure we can double back into the house. If they chase us – and they will – we can hold them off at the door or in the laundry room since it'll be too narrow for even your mom to dodge if we're all shooting together."

Diana smiled toothily. "Cool."

"It sounds good." Averia frowned. "But why do I have to be the bait?"

Claire stood up. "Because you're the fastest. Now, come on, let's go."

"Right." Diana hefted her rifle. "Let's go kill some zombies!"

Claire took a deep breath and put one hand on the bedroom door. In a single, flowing motion, she yanked it open. In a flash, Averia was through the door, rolling into a crouch, her rifle pointed one way as Claire and Diana swept through the door and checked the other way. The corridor was empty, or at least, it looked like it was empty, and the path to the stairs seemed clear.

"It's quiet," Averia whispered as they inched down the corridor, careful to maintain their formation. "Too quiet."

"I know." Claire squinted ahead. Nothing. "Don't bunch up otherwise we could all get clawed at once. Diana, you're in the middle. I'll watch the back." She tipped her head at Averia. "Averia, you've got point. Diana, don't forget to warn us if you notice something strange."

Diana flashed Claire a jaunty salute. "Aye, aye, captain!"

Captain? Claire's lips curled. She liked the sound of that. "All right, lieutenant." Averia cleared her throat expectantly. "Fine, Averia, you can be a lieutenant too, I guess."

The pink haired girl nodded. She'd rather be a general, but everyone had to start somewhere.

Carefully, they crept down the corridor, but before they could reach the stairs, Diana signalled for them to stop.

"Wait," Diana whispered, pointing to the closet ahead of them. "See that? It's not closed properly, and mom always closes it properly."

"That's right." Averia swallowed thickly and slunk forward. "Stay here, I'll open it."

Averia stopped in front of the closet, and Claire could see a lone bead of sweat trickle down the other girl's temple. She was nervous – they all were – and then Averia yanked the closet open. Nothing, there was nothing in there but linen.

"It's a trap!" Diana shouted. "Behind us!"

"Rah!"

A door behind them burst open and Claire spun around in time to see her father leap out of the bathroom. He was dressed in his normal clothes, but his eyes were wild and crazy, and his arms were extended out in front of him. Alas, her beloved father had become a zombie. But for a moment, she hesitated as she remembered all of the great times they'd had. To think that their time together as father and daughter would come to an end like this, that she would have to take up arms against her father and –

"Die zombie!" Diana screeched as she emptied an entire magazine of foam bullets into Snow's head and chest. The big man slumped to the ground.

Claire stared at Diana. "You didn't hesitate at all."

Diana's eyes narrowed ominously. "He's a zombie, Claire. We can't afford to hesitate." She shuddered. "Hesitating got Rikku turned into a zombie when we played, and then she got Yuffie and then it was just me."

Averia put one hand on Claire's shoulder. "Come on, Claire, we need to keep moving. He'll come back to life soon."

"Right." Claire gestured at the stairs. "Let's get going then."

They made their way quickly down the corridor, checking all of the doors, the walls, and even the ceiling until finally they reached the staircase. There were little pieces of paper with writing on them scattered around, and Claire bent down to pick one of them up.

"Abandon hope, all ye who enter here?" Claire tossed the piece of paper back onto the ground. "Aunt Vanille must be close." The other two girls nodded in agreement and Claire felt her lips curve up into a small smile. "Well, we're not afraid are we? She's the one who should be abandoning hope."

They came to a halt at the bottom of the stairs. The living room was right there, and it was the quickest way to the laundry room, but it would be dangerous to try and go through it. The couches would give their Aunt Vanille plenty of cover, and she might even be hiding somewhere else like the kitchen or laundry room. It would be risky, but with Snow getting back up soon, they had no choice but to go forward.

"Quick," Claire cried. "Averia, you've got point again. We'll cut through the living room. Watch out for traps and stay away from the couches."

But that was easier said than done. As soon as they stepped into the living room, there was a loud bang from their right as a large pile of plastic blocks tumbled to the ground.

"Don't look!" Diana shouted. "It's a trick!"

Too late.

Claire turned, but her Aunt Vanille was already there. For one horrible moment, everything moved in slow motion. Averia was shouting, her rifle firing again and again until it clicked empty, but her Aunt Vanille was dodging everything, and then – just like that – Averia was down, her right leg clawed, and her Aunt Vanille was looming over Averia ready to finish her off with one more good claw –

"Help!"

"Averia!" Diana screamed, shooting her rifle in a vain attempt to try and bring down their Aunt Vanille, but the red head was too crafty. She ducked behind a couch for cover as Snow lumbered into the living room behind the girls.

Averia's eyes widened. "Behind you, Claire!"

Claire turned and fired. Her first shot caught her father in the leg, and as per the rules, he began to limp forward. Her second shot caught him in the head, and he went down in a heap. However, he'd be up soon, and with her leg clawed, there was no way that Averia could walk.

"Come on, Averia," Diana wailed, grabbing her sister under the armpits like their mother had taught her. "You have to get up!"

Claire moved in front of her cousins as their Aunt Vanille lunged forward. She'd hesitated before and it had gotten Averia clawed. She wouldn't make that mistake again. Two well-placed shots later, and their Aunt Vanille was down.

"I can't walk on one leg," Averia muttered. "You two should leave me. I'll hold them off as long as I can."

Diana shook her head frantically. "We can't leave you!" She grabbed Claire's arm. "We're not leaving her are we? Claire?"

Claire looked at her cousins. Averia only had one more magazine of ammunition – hardly enough to hold off two regenerating zombies – but taking her with them would only slow them down. Her jaw clenched. "Get on my back, Averia. I'll carry you. Diana, you're on point."

With Averia slung over her back, Claire trailed after Diana into the laundry room. The youngest of the three was three steps ahead, her eyes in constant motion as she scanned the area for any possible threat.

"This is bad," Diana whispered as they opened the laundry room door and stepped into the backyard. "We haven't seen my mom yet, so she has to be planning something."

"I know." Claire adjusted Averia's position on her back so that the other girl could at least help by shooting. "But we have to keep moving. My daddy and Aunt Vanille will be up soon."

However, getting through the backyard would not be easy. The lawn was about to be mowed, so the grass was still long. It tickled Claire's feet through her sandals, and she shivered as a cool spring wind rustled past. But it was the washing line that really worried her. It was spinning slowly, the clothes on it flaring out as though someone had only recently bumped into it. With all the trees around, not to mention the orderly rows of flowers and shrubs, the backyard seemed almost monstrous. Claire had once seen her Aunt Lightning vanish into thin air while fighting, so there was no telling where she could be hiding in a place like this.

"Keep moving," Claire murmured. "Diana, if your mom comes try to back up so we can help you." She frowned and knelt to examine an indentation in the grass. It looked a lot like a footprint. "Keep your eyes and your ears open. Once we've got the cure, we can get out of here."

They loped through the grass, their rifles trained in all directions, but by the time they reached the tree and grabbed the cure – a can of cola – there was still no sign of Lightning.

"Where could she be?" Claire muttered. "She's not behind us or in front of us, and she's not to the left or the right either."

"Above." Diana's eyes widened. "She's above us!"

Claire stuffed the cure into one of her pockets and looked up just in time to see an orange-clad figure leap out of the tree. The figure spun easily through the air before landing in a perfect crouch.

"That's not fair, mom!" Diana yelled as she opened fire. "Zombies can't climb trees!"

Lightning lips curled and then she… she blurred. Diana's bullets went wide, and Claire watched in disbelief as the pink haired woman dodged not only Diana's bullets, but hers and Averia's as well. A heartbeat later, and Lightning was beside Diana.

"Got you." Lightning gave Diana a kiss on the forehead.

"Yarrrrggggghhhhh!" Diana wailed as she fell to the ground and began to convulse. "I've been bitten, run!"

And so they did. Claire could hear Averia screaming for them to go back, but this wasn't like before. Diana hadn't been clawed – she'd been bitten, and on the head too. They had a few seconds at most before she became a zombie.

"Go back, Claire. We can't leave her!"

"She's a zombie now!" Claire growled as Averia thrashed about on her back. And sure enough, Diana lumbered back onto her feet, an orange bandana on her head, and an orange patch over her heart. "You can't help her anymore, Averia, you have to shoot her!"

"I can't!" Averia cried. "She's my sister!"

"She's a zombie! Shoot her!"

Jaw clenched, Averia opened fire. The first foam bullet caught Diana in the leg and the girl went down. Four more bullets came, hitting Diana in the head and the chest, and she put on a spectacular show, her arms and legs flailing in all directions. Lightning was forced to stop mid-stride, and it was only her superb footwork that kept her from stepping on Diana.

"Get into the house." Averia let go of Claire and slid to the ground by the laundry room door. "I'll hold them off here."

"Averia…"

Averia grabbed Claire's leg. "Finish the missions, Claire. Finish it for all of us."

Claire's fists clenched. "We were supposed to finish it together."

"It's all right." Averia lifted her rifle up as Lightning and Diana got back onto their feet. "None of this was your fault. You were a good leader. Now go, get to the transport hub!"

Claire drew in a ragged breath and then turned away. As she ran, she could hear Averia roar in defiance, the cry soon swallowed up by the inhuman wails of the two zombies accosting her. Chest heaving, she sprinted through the house. In the living room, she tripped over a plastic block, and as she fought to regain her footing, her Aunt Vanille and her daddy appeared. She snarled. She hadn't come this far only to fail. For Diana, for Averia… for their team, she would find a way to win.

With a harsh cry, she leapt over the couch, rolling into a crouch as she caught her Aunt Vanille with a pair of shots to the head. The red head screeched to a halt, but Claire had eyes only for her father. As he lumbered forward, arms outstretched, she jerked to the side, only to wince as her arm got clawed. Desperately, she switched her rifle to her other arm and squeezed off three perfectly aimed shots. Her father went down, and Diana burst out of the front door.

Her heart was racing, but the front gate was right there only… only her Aunt Lightning was there too, along with Diana and Averia, and all three of them were zombies. Claire skidded to a stop. She only had three bullets left, and even if she could hit Diana and Averia, there was no way she'd be able to get her Aunt Lightning with only one bullet.

But she couldn't give up now. All she could do was try and hope that she'd bee good enough. With one last, epic cry, she charged. Diana and Averia raced forward to meet her, their eyes wide with berserk, zombie bloodlust. She leapt over Diana's wild tackle, and the younger girl gave a cry of surprise as Claire caught her in the forehead with a foam bullet. Averia was next, and as the other pink haired girl lunged, Claire stopped and twisted just out of reach. Averia gasped and Claire shot her in the head too. Now it was just her and her Aunt Lightning. The older woman's lips twitched and then she vanished, moving faster than Claire imagined possible, so fast that Cliare could barely even see her.

"Lightning?" Serah asked as she stepped out of her car and walked over to the front gate. "What are you doing, and why are you wearing so much orange?"

For a split-second, her Aunt Lightning looked away, and Claire hurled herself at the front gate. She sailed through the air, her one good arm fully extended as the very tips of her fingers brushed against the front gate. Behind her, her Aunt Lightning's face was drawn into an expression of utter disbelief.

Claire clattered into the front gate. She'd done it. They'd won.

"We won! We won!" Diana cheered as she tore the orange bandana off her head. "Zombie apocalypse defeated! Yay!"

"You did it," Averia murmured as she helped Claire back onto her feet. "You made it."

"I did, didn't I?" Claire's eyes widened and she gave a happy cry as her mommy stepped through the front gate. "I did it, mommy! I did it!"

"Uh, okay." Serah hugged Claire. "But what exactly did you do?"

Claire looked up at her mommy. "We were playing zombies and Aunt Lightning turned Diana into a zombie, and then Averia became a zombie, and Aunt Vanille and daddy were already zombies, but I got to the front gate with the cure so we won!"

"Good work." Serah smirked at Lightning. "So, I'm guessing you were supposed to stop her from reaching the front gate. I never thought I'd see the day someone got past you."

Lightning chuckled. "Claire did well, although she had a little help. You distracted me Serah."

Serah smirked. "Aren't you the one who always says that it's important to stay focused?"

"I guess I am." Claire grinned as her Aunt Lightning came forward and extended one hand to her. "Good work, Claire, and well won."

Claire gave her Aunt Lightning's hand a very enthusiastic shake. "Survivors: one. Zombies: zero."

X X X

After the girls' epic victory – a victory made even more glorious by the fact that they had pizza for dinner – they settled down to watch a movie in the living room. It might have been because of all of the excitement, but the movie wasn't even halfway through before all three of the girls were asleep. Lightning had Averia leaning up against her while Claire was nestled in between Serah and Snow. Vanille, meanwhile, had taken steps to reclaim her faithful minion, and Diana was dozing in her lap.

Lightning's lips curled as she took in the sight of her younger daughter on Vanille's lap. "You know, you're going to have to give her back before you leave."

Vanille pouted. "Do I have to? Just look at her, she's so cute and cuddly, and she's so small as well." She ran one hand through Diana's hair. "I bet I could carry her all the way home – she's travel-sized."

"So, it seems like you all had quite a day." Serah's eyes twinkled. "I wonder what Fang would think."

"About the fact that I dressed up in orange, or that I participated in and lost a game called 'super mega zombie apocalypse survivor tag version two point two'?" Lightning smiled wryly. "Knowing Fang, she'll want to know when the next game starts. I'm just glad she'll be back from that expedition the day after tomorrow."

"Miss her already?" Vanille smirked at the scowl Lightning sent her. The pink haired woman was adorable when she got all mopey without her Fang. "You have to admit though, it was an interesting game." She shot Serah a crafty look. "And speaking of interesting things, what's this I hear about you and Snow trying for another kid?"

Serah flinched. "Who told you?" She gazed at Snow. "Snow?"

Realising the trouble he was in, Snow was quick to shake his head. "It wasn't me. I only talked to Lightning about it, and you said that would be okay. Seriously, it's like Vanille has a sixth sense for gossip or something."

Vanille waved one hand at Serah. "Don't blame, Snow. I was helping the hospital upgrade some of their equipment when I saw you with your doctor. Considering what she specialises in, it wasn't too hard to put two and two together." She gave Serah's stomach – still very much flat – a keen look. "So, are you pregnant yet, or what?"

Serah's face flushed. "No – I mean not yet – we've been trying." She covered her cheeks with her hands. "Vanille!"

"Sorry." Vanille looked the very opposite of sorry.

"Anyway," Serah said, very deliberately changing the subject. "Snow said he talked to you, Lightning."

"He did." Lightning shrugged. "I told him you don't need my approval anymore, but you've got it for what it's worth. You're a good mother Serah." The younger Farron's smile was breathtaking. "And Snow is… he's a good father." She had to force the words out.

"Was that really so hard to say?" Serah asked.

"Yes, now stop asking." Lightning glared, putting an end to that part of the conversation. "But promise me you'll do everything you can to stay safe, Serah. Go to the best doctors and make sure you've got everything planned. Don't take any risks."

"I know." Serah looked down at Claire and then back to Lightning. "I've wanted another child for a long time, Lightning, and I know Snow wants one too. We're in a good place financially, and if I have to take some time off, we'll be fine."

"Serah, if you ever need money –"

"Thanks, but we've got this." Serah took one of Snow's hands in hers. "Snow makes more than enough to look after us, even if I do have to stop working for a while, and the school has already promised to rehire me if I do need to take some time off." She smirked. "I suppose being famous isn't all bad."

"How do you think Claire will take having a younger sibling?" Vanille asked.

"She'll love it, I think." Serah laughed softly. "She's always trying to steal Diana away, and you know how well Averia takes to that."

"Badly," Vanille replied. "Very badly, although I don't blame her. Diana does make a good minion."

"Minion?"

"It's a long story." Vanille grinned. "So, what do you want more, a boy or a girl?"

"We'd be happy to get either," Snow said. He ran one hand through his hair. "As long as it's ours, we don't mind. Who knows, we might even get twins, and I have to admit, it would be nice to have another man around the house."

"Boy or girl, I'm sure the girls will love them." Lightning's lips twitched. "And Diana would love not being the smallest anymore."

Vanille giggled. "All of this talk makes me wonder about when I'm going to have any children. Hope hasn't proposed or anything yet, but a little bird told me he's been looking at rings recently." Her little bird was actually a spy by the name of Averia, who had spotted the blonde Guardian Corps officer looking at rings in a jewellery store during a recent trip to the supermarket.

"A ring, huh?" Snow leaned forward conspiratorially. "You know, Fang is going to come after him again when he proposes. I just hope he's smart enough to run away this time instead of fighting. It worked for me."

Serah gave Snow a playful slap over the shoulder. It had been kind of fun to watch her sister chase Snow around. "You're forgetting that you had Shiva. There is no way that Hope is going to outrun Fang and Bahamut on Alexander."

"That's a good point." Vanille stood up and handed her minion over to Lightning. "Well, I need to get going. Hope's shift is about to finish." She gave Serah a jaunty salute. "Don't forget to keep me posted about the baby situation. When you get pregnant, I am absolutely in charge of your baby shower."

X X X

That night, Claire was unable to fall asleep. She hadn't really been sleeping when the adults had been talking, and what she'd heard was far too exciting to ignore. A sibling? Her eyes widened. How awesome would it be if she got a new little brother or sister, or maybe even both?

A part of her – a very, very small part – was worried. What if her parents liked the new kid more than her? However, deep down inside, she knew she was being silly. Her daddy had always told her that love was special, that it wasn't something you could run out of. It was different, he'd always told her, because the more people you loved, the more people you could love.

It made sense too. He'd her loved mommy for a long, long time before she'd been born, but he didn't love her mommy any less now that Claire was around. In fact, her mommy always said that Claire being born just made them love each other even more. It was the same with her Aunt Fang and her Aunt Lightning too. Everyone said they were even more in love with each other after Averia and Diana had been born.

And speaking of Averia and Diana… it would be nice to have a real sibling. Her cousins always treated her like a sister, and she always felt that way when she was with them, but at the end of the day, she wasn't their sister. She went back home to her own house and she slept alone in her own room, and she knew that there were lots of things they did together with each other but not with her. It wasn't because they were mean or wanted to exclude her, but they were around each other all the time.

Her mommy and her Aunt Lightning were the same. Her Aunt Lightning was married to her Aunt Fang, and she knew her Aunt Lightning thought of her Aunt Vanille as a sister, but sometimes it was like her mommy and her Aunt Lightning were in their own little world. They'd say things, or do things that no one else could follow. Claire wanted something like that for herself – a real sibling for her to look after and spoil the way that Averia looked after and spoiled Diana. She just hoped that her sibling didn't try to kick her in the shins the way Diana sometimes kicked Avera in the shins, and it would be nice if her sibling wasn't as good at choking people as Diana, although maybe it might be better if they were, in case they needed to fight bad people.

But would it be a boy or a girl? A girl would really cool. They could be best friends and do everything together, even if Claire was older. She could look after her little sister and do all the stuff that big sisters did. She'd probably have to ask Averia about it though, since the other girl had a lot more practice at it than her. And if it was a boy, they could still be best friends, and he might even grow up to be bigger than her. She grinned. Yeah, if her little brother grew up to be as big as her daddy, then they'd never lose a tug-of-war when they were playing against Diana and Averia. Maybe he could even give her a piggyback sometimes. But she'd have to look after him at first since he wouldn't start off big. And what if he had blonde hair like her daddy instead of pink hair like her? That would be nice, since he'd look weird with pink hair and the other kids might pick on him, although she could just punch them or glare, the way Averia did whenever someone made fun of her hair.

She pulled her blankets up to her chin. What if her mommy had twins? That would be the coolest thing ever. She'd get two siblings instead of one, and her mommy and her daddy would be extra happy since they wanted more kids.

But what would they name them? Averia and Diana would probably try to name them 'Claw' or something, but she didn't think that would be good at all. Her mommy and daddy would probably talk about it a lot, and maybe they might even let her help decide too. That would be awesome.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
> 
> Wow, it's been a while hasn't it? It seems strange, but I only realised how long it's been since I updated this story when I went to my own author page and checked. Part of the blame has to go to Tell Me A Story since the ideas for that story and this one come from the same part of my imagination (in my head, they're all one big pile of stories under the heading of 'Yun-Farron family stuff'). In any case, my apologies for the delay, and I hope the big chapter makes up for the long wait.
> 
> Now, let's talk about the chapter. From a writing standpoint, this chapter was quite tortuous to get finished (it was much easier writing Chapter 12 of Whispers of the Gods – it certainly took fewer drafts). I started off with what I thought was a good idea of how things were going to go, only to see that blow up in the first draft. Simply put, it sucked. None of the scenes fit together properly, and it was a complete mess. In fact that first draft was so dodgy I ended up scrapping it in favour of writing another 'first draft' that I felt moved the story in a direction that actually worked. However, that first draft still wasn't where I wanted it to be, so I wrote another one, which finally did get the job done. The chapter you've just read is a final copy based on that second (third) draft.
> 
> One of the things I think people have wondered while reading this story is why do Snow and Serah have only one child? They're both people who I think would like to have a large family. The idea of Serah having a difficult first pregnancy and delivery was my way of explaining why they haven't had more children. It was also a way to squeeze in some good old Snow/Lightning friendship time. Lightning might not have liked Snow much to begin with, but I think she'd warm to him a little over the years after seeing what kind of man he is during their l'Cie journey, and seeing how well he treats Serah, and what a good father he is to Claire. Luckily for Snow and Serah though, they've finally got the medical thumbs up, and now it's full steam ahead (although Lightning would probably puke if Serah tried to share any of the details of what 'full steam ahead' entailed).
> 
> The monopoly game was something I've wanted to write for a long time now (I think I mentioned it earlier somewhere too). The girls are all competitive, so they all want to win, but they're up against Vanille, and not only is Vanille very smart, she's very lucky too (a deadly, deadly combination). Perhaps if they'd teamed up against her from the start, they might have won. But they didn't, and it cost them the game – and Diana (well, sort of, they were able to buy back an arm and a leg). Funnily enough, the entire part where Vanille seizes Diana as collateral and turns her into her minion was something that popped up relatively late in the writing process, but I thought it was too much fun to not include it.
> 
> You can probably also tell that I'm a fan of Sir David Attenborough's work from Vanille's little imaginary documentary. The choice for Sazh as the narrator of that imaginary documentary is not a coincidence, apart from Chirpy (who isn't even human), Sazh is probably the sanest person in the group. I'm only sad I wasn't able to use it a bit more. Consider, for instance, what a Vanille-style documentary on the mating habits of the Fang and the Lightning would be like.
> 
> And then there was the zombie role playing game. When I was young, my friends and I used to come up with crazy games like this all the time, and they were always fun to play even if we could never lure our parents into playing them with us. It didn't always work out for the best though. During the course of one of these games, I was once hit in the head by a big block of wood. I didn't suffer any permanent brain damage (I think), but I did get a black eye, which was kind of cool. The zombie game is also a nod at Wasteland, which I plan on updating soon.
> 
> As always, I appreciate your feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	14. There's No Night Like Friday Night

**There's No Night Like Friday Night**

The bartender knew trouble when he saw it, and the young woman in front of him had trouble written all over her. She had long pink hair and the coldest green eyes he'd ever seen. She had a regal look about her too despite the jeans and the leather jacket. It was the way she held herself. Most girls with a face and figure like her liked to show off, but not her. She'd spent the whole night at the bar, calm and quiet, nursing a glass of cola.

He'd seen her type a few times before. She was the kind of lady – and something about her screamed lady, never mind how young she was – that all the boys and girls liked to chase but none of them ever caught. Quite a few had tried already, but he hadn't seen even a glimmer of interest in those steely eyes.

This one was trouble, all right, trouble with a capital 'T'.

X X X

Averia took another sip of her cola then sighed. She'd have to order another one soon. Stupid Claire. Now that they were finally old enough to get into a club legally, her cousin had decreed that every Friday night would be Clubbing Night.

But how on earth had Claire gotten all of their parents to agree? Averia could understand her Aunt Serah and Uncle Snow agreeing. She could even understand her mom agreeing. But getting her mother – Lightning Yun-Farron – to agree? That had to be some sort of miracle because there was no one, not even the Maker, who could make Lightning Yun-Farron do something she didn't want to.

Besides, what was all the fuss about? Averia couldn't see what was so great about paying money for the privilege of being crammed into a dark, sweaty nightclub with a bunch of strangers, most of whom were loud drunks. At least the cola wasn't that expensive.

But the crowd itself wasn't the worst part. No, the worst part was all the people who thought she wanted company. She didn't mind the polite ones too much. It took a lot of courage to approach someone, and she respected that. It was actually a little flattering. But the rowdy ones, the ones who eyed her up like a piece of meat on display, they made her want to get violent. And she could be very, very violent.

She was about to order another glass of cola when a slim, young woman dropped onto the stool beside her.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look even better from the front than the back?"

The pick up line was so absurdly idiotic that for a moment, all Averia could do was stare, her cola forgotten. The other woman – more of a girly, really – had long, jet-black hair and bright green eyes. There was something familiar about her voice, but Averia couldn't quite figure out what.

"Are you just really quiet, or did I take your breath away?" The girl smirked, and there was something familiar about the expression too.

Rather than reply, Averia took a closer look. The girl was a few inches shorter than her, and she wore a pair of short shorts and a shirt that both hinted at and displayed her still developing figure to perfection.

"Aren't you a little young to be in a place like this?"

The girl's smirk widened. "Maybe, but what are you going to do? Call the Guardian Corps?"

Averia shuddered. The further her mother stayed away from this place, the better. If her mother didn't fly into an overprotective fury, she would probably end up arresting everyone for public indecency. Although, all things considered, that might actually be a good thing, considering how some of the people here were dancing.

"No."

"Good." The girl was still smirking as she leaned in. "Because there are a few things I'd like to do to you that might get me arrested."

Averia's lips curled in amusement. She'd never met someone so young who was so forward, and there was something to be said about that kind of bravery – even if it wasn't anywhere close to working. But this close, she could actually smell the girl's shampoo, and it happened to be a smell she knew very well. Her eyes narrowed. Of course, that voice, that smirk, oh, she knew exactly whom she was dealing with now.

Clever girl, but two could play at this game, and she hated to lose, especially to this girl.

"Really?" Averia smiled – the smile she knew made people look twice and blush. "What were you thinking?"

The girl gave a startled squeak as Averia wrapped one arm around her and squeezed her thigh just below where her shorts ended. "Uh… um…"

"You're cute, you know that?" Averia tugged the girl up to her feet. "How about we go somewhere more… private?"

The girl waved her arms about in a desperate bid to escape as Averia half-carried and half-dragged her toward the women's bathroom. Out of the corner of one eye, Averia spotted two familiar faces, Rikku and Yuffie, watching the whole thing unfold with wide eyes Heh. They should have known better than to mess with her, and now she had absolutely no doubt at all about the identity of the girl in her arms.

There were half a dozen women chatting in the bathroom.

"Get out. Now." Averia glared and pointed at the door.

"Who do you think –"

"I said, get out." Averia cut the woman off mid-sentence and let the full force of her glare settle on her. Not surprisingly, she decided to stop talking. "Now."

The women practically ran out of the bathroom, all but tripping over their own feet in their haste to get away from the pink haired psychopath who had commandeered the bathroom for what looked to be a quick tryst with the cute, young thing in her arms. The cute, young thing did her best to get away, but Averia wasn't having any of that.

With a quick shift of her weight, Averia had the girl pressed up against the wall. Putting on her best pair of 'bedroom eyes' Averia moved in for the kill, lips drifting toward the girl's ear.

"Wait!" The girl flailed. "Aren't you moving a bit too fast? Uh… um… wait!" The girl screeched and then went stiff as a board as Averia reached up to cup her cheek tenderly with one hand.

"Why wait?" Averia closed the gap to the girl's ear. "So… do our parents know you're out clubbing, Diana?"

"GAH!"

Diana shoved her sister back and swung one fist straight for Averia's jaw. The older girl leaned out of the way and smirked.

"Don't do that!" Diana dragged in a deep, deep breath, her face the colour of a tomato. "For a second there I thought you were… were…"

"That I was going to what? Have sex with you in a nightclub bathroom." Averia scowled. "If I was going to have sex with someone, it would definitely not be in a nightclub bathroom, and it definitely wouldn't be with you." Her lips twitched. "Despite what our Aunt Serah and Aunt Vanille sometimes say, I do not take after mother. That is, I don't have an inappropriately deep fixation on my sister."

"But you dragged me in here and –"

"Please, as if I wouldn't know it was you." Averia grinned. It was nice to get one up on her mischievous younger sister for a change. The other girl was far too good with pranks.

"But how did you know it was me?" Diana folded her arms over her chest. Now that she wasn't worried about being molested by her older sister, her natural curiosity had begun to take over. "And why did you even let me go so far with it?"

"To teach you a lesson." Averia gave her sister an affectionate whack over the back of the head. "Besides, you were the one who decided to sit next to me and flirt." She poked Diana on the nose. "And please tell me those weren't your best pick up lines."

Diana shook one fist at her sister. "If you must know, it was Yuffie and Rikku's idea. They thought it would be funny." She looked away. "And sorry if I'm not exactly smooth yet."

"Diana…" Averia sighed. "It's not about being smooth. Just be yourself and you'll be fine."

"I guess." Diana's eyes narrowed. "So how did you know it was me?"

"Well, I used my big sister powers."

"Those don't exist."

"I remember when you were younger and you used to believe they did." Averia chuckled and grabbed Diana's hands before the younger girl could throw another punch. "You still smile the same, and I could smell your shampoo."

"Damn it. I have to remember that next time." Diana reached up for her hair. "I even got a wig for tonight." Beneath the wig was her usual, still slightly spiky, dark hair. "And some coloured contacts for my eyes too."

"How did you change your voice?" Averia asked. Diana still said her words the same way, but the pitch was different.

"Oh that?" Diana pulled off the strange looking necklace she wore, and her voice was back to normal. "It's something Aunt Vanille came up with to help the Guardian Corps with their undercover work. She hasn't got all the kinks worked out yet, so I asked her if I could take it for a test drive."

"You little idiot." Averia's voice was filled with affection. "I need to keep a closer eye on you. Can I assume that you used a fake ID to get in since you're still only fifteen?"

"Yep. Rikku's gotten pretty good at stuff like that." Diana grinned and pretended to cover her chest with her arms. "So, can we go back outside now, or are you still planning to do something horribly inappropriate to me?"

Averia leaned in, grinning as Diana's face turned red again. "Why, would you like me to?" She pulled away and scowled as she took another look at Diana's shirt and shorts. "You are not going out dressed like that." She pulled off her jacket. "Put this on."

"But –"

"I am not going to have a bunch of drunk perverts ogling my sister." Averia frowned. "And in case you haven't noticed, they are ogling you. You aren't as flat as a board anymore."

Diana puffed out her chest and grinned. "Yep, I'm finally starting to take after mom."

One of the veins in Averia's temple twitched. Diana had spent most of her puberty so far bemoaning her lack of height and figure. However, over the past year and half, she'd shot up like a beanstalk. She'd also started to develop a chest that would, in time, rival their mom's. The attention all of those changes brought – not to mention Diana's warm, friendly nature – meant considerable trouble of the romantic kind.

To put it simply, Averia hadn't met a single person good enough to go out with her sister. In this, at least, her mother agreed. So she'd done what any good sister would have and done her level best to scare off every lackadaisical, hormone-crazed suitor, male or female. It had worked, for the most part, but sooner or later, she'd run into one of those idiots that she couldn't scare off.

Hopefully that idiot would be good for her sister, much like her mom was good for her mother and her Uncle Snow was good for her Aunt Serah. If they weren't, then she would simply have to get rid of them. Her mother could even help her hide the body since being a general of the Guardian Corps came with more than a few privileges.

"I'm not a kid anymore." Diana pouted quite childishly. "Stop babying me."

Averia didn't bother to reply. Instead, she crammed Diana into the jacket. She wasn't too happy about it - that was her favourite jacket – but she was not about to let her little sister parade around in those clothes a moment longer. Hell, the ends of the jacket went further down than Diana's shorts.

"Don't be dumb. You're my little sister. It's my job to baby you."

"Meanie." Diana smiled and hugged Averia. "But I love you anyway even if you are an overprotective psycho with an inappropriate fixation on your little sister." She grinned and danced out of reach before Averia could strangle her. "Now, come on, let's get back out there! I bet I can drink more vodka than you!"

"What?" Averia screeched. "You've been drinking vodka?"

X X X

Diana did not, in fact, get to have any vodka whatsoever. Averia made sure of it. Instead, the younger girl was restricted to water and soda. But that didn't mean there wasn't trouble. On the contrary, they were sitting at the bar discussing all the latest gossip – well, Diana was discussing it while Averia pretended to listen – when one of the young men in the crowd behind them decided that he liked the shape of Diana's posterior.

So he decided to grab it.

To her credit, Diana didn't panic. Instead, she simply turned and beckoned the young man over. Then she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him into a head butt that broke his nose. It was so smoothly done that Averia couldn't help but be pleased. Her little sister could look after herself.

It could have ended there. It didn't.

"You bitch!" The young man had friends and whether it was the alcohol they'd drunk or their wounded pride, they were spoiling for a fight.

One of them stepped forward and grabbed for Diana's arm. Averia did the first thing that came to mind. She decked him. The left hook caught him square on the point of his chin, and he went down like a puppet with its strings cut.

"You even think of touching my sister, and I'll put you in a box." Averia growled. "Understand?"

Clearly, they didn't. "You can't just hit a guy."

"And you can't just grab my sister's backside, but you did, and so here we are." Averia glanced at the unconscious man on the ground and the snivelling wreck nearby clutching at his broken nose. "Now, you can back off, or I can keep hitting you until you do."

Beside her, Diana scowled. "I'll be hitting you as well, just so you know."

Averia sighed and turned. "Walk away."

They should have, they really should have, and she would have let them too. But they didn't. She saw a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye and that, combined with Diana's cry, was enough warning. She leaned to one side to let the wild punch pass over her shoulder before she caught the man's arms and heaved him up onto the bar. He landed with a crash, sending alcohol and broken glass everywhere.

"Get her!"

The others rushed at her, and Averia allowed herself a savage smile, one she knew was mirrored on her sister's face. Maybe, just maybe, she might have some fun tonight. She ducked and twisted around the punches and kicks thrown in her direction. These people weren't only slow. They were damn sloppy. A kick to the head dropped one of them, a right cross to the jaw floored another, and she knocked down a third with an elbow to the temple. Beside her, Diana kneed one man in the groin then threw him head first into the bar before an uppercut drove another back to collapse over a nearby table.

"Well," Diana said. "That solves that." A bottle flew at her head, but Averia caught it out of the air before it could do any harm. "Or not."

They might have dealt with one group, but their little fight was not so little anymore. Instead, it had begun to spread beyond the bar until the whole club was one mass of yelling, angry, fighting bodies.

"What did you do?"

Averia fought the urge to cover her ears as Yuna waved one hand in her direction while huddling between Tidus and Claire. The young man levelled one drunk with a textbook punch to the jaw while Claire silenced a screaming banshee of a woman with a punch to the gut. Another woman, dressed in a skirt that was so short it couldn't possible have been legal, took the opportunity to jump onto Claire's back. Instead of panicking, Claire simply reached up, grabbed the woman's arm, and threw her at the closest wall.

"We were supposed to be having a fun night out and now there's a fight and –" Yuna ducked a wild swing from a young man and swiped a bottle from a nearby table to break over his head. "See? Even I'm hitting people now!"

Averia pointed in the vague direction of the first person Diana had hit. "What was I supposed to do, Yuna? He grabbed my sister."

A drunk woman wielding what looked to be a lighting fixture lunged, and Averia splintered the fixture with one kick before another sent the woman flying backward. In front of her, someone tried to bite Diana and ended up eating boot for their trouble.

"Tell me, Yuna, what was I supposed to do?"

"Not start a huge fight!" Yuna grabbed a tray and hit two people over the head with it in quick succession. Next to her, Tidus flashed them all a big thumbs up.

"Just relax." Claire grinned at Yuna and Tidus. "Think of this as a bonding experience. There's nothing quite like a friendship forged in adversity." She struck her most heroic pose. "Now stay close and make sure to hit anybody who looks at you funny."

Somehow, in the moments that followed, Averia ended up back-to-back with Claire in the middle of the melee, punching and kicking anyone who took a swing at them. They were going to get into so much trouble for this, but at least she'd managed to get Diana safely behind the bar and –

"Eat chair, jerk!"

Averia looked back and nearly tripped over. Diana was on top of the bar wielding a chair like a club as she laid into a veritable horde of angry drunks. On either side of her were Yuffie and Rikku. The former was hurling bottles and coasters like shuriken while the latter was using two broken chair legs like daggers.

"I told you to stay behind the bar!"

Diana tossed the chair at someone trying to sneak up on Averia and then flung herself into the melee beside her sister and cousin. Her first attack, a picture perfect jump kick, caught one of their opponents right in the middle of the back.

"Take this: Super Flying Kicking In The Backing Technique… Version Two!" Diana landed and whipped around into another kick. "Like I'm going to hide behind the bar while you two fight."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Averia couldn't help but grin. It was the three of them again, just like it always was, Averia, Diana and Claire.

"Besides, Averia, someone needs to watch your back."

"Stop talking and punch someone." Claire's uppercut lifted one man clear off his feet. "I can't believe I wore a skirt today."

"That isn't a skirt." Averia scowled. "It's more of a belt. You're practically flashing people whenever you kick."

"Why do you think I'm punching everyone?" Claire elbowed a crazed young woman in the head then grabbed a chair to throw at the legs of an oncoming drunk. "Besides, I think it looks cute."

"Does your dad know you're wearing it?"

Claire flushed. "Well, no. And you're not telling him."

"Do you do this every week?" Diana giggled. "Because if you do, no wonder people like clubbing so much." She smirked. "But there's still a lot of them left. How about we use… Army of Three."

"What do you mean use Army of Three? That's not even a move. You made that up when we were kids." Averia threw someone over her shoulder and then ducked beneath a haymaker to drive her elbow into the gut of the person behind her. "Besides, it's Army of One, and mother still hasn't taught you how to do that."

"She said she'd do that soon." Diana launched herself into the air, kicking two people in the head. Averia caught her before she could fall, and Diana laughed as her sister swung her around like a weapon, her feet catching another half a dozen people in the head and chest. "And Army of Three isn't anything like Army of One. It's just us beating the crap out of everyone else."

"Is that so?" Claire brought her hands together, punching her palm with her fist. "I suppose we can do that."

And so their Army of Three cut a merry swathe through the crazed revellers, right up until they heard sirens. The Guardian Corps had finally come.

"Crap!" Diana looked about frantically. "We need to get out of here."

And they did. As the crowd scattered for the all the exits, Averia caught a glimpse of the responding officer in charge. Colonel Hope Estheim had decided to take over the evening's patrols, and his keen, blue eyes were already scanning the crowd. If they got caught, she wasn't worried about the Guardian Corps, but their mother would kill them – or make them wish they were dead.

"This way." Diana grabbed Averia's arm. "There's a fire escape out the back that we can use." She waved at Claire, Tidus, Yuna, Rikku and Yuffie. "Come on, guys!"

They shoved their way through the crowd and sprinted through the dark, twisted hallways at the back of the club. The fire escape was right in front of them now, and they broke the door open. An alarm sounded, but there was no time to worry about that. They practically flew down the stairs into the alley below. Now, if they could just get onto the street they'd be fine. Downtown New Bodhum had a bustling nightlife, so it wouldn't be too hard to blend in.

"Almost there." Claire giggled. "Not a bad way to end the week, don't you think?"

Averia bit back a smile. The club hadn't been very fun, but the brawl was another story. "Yeah, it was –"

Thud.

A very, very familiar gun blade thudded into the ground in front of them. Then an even more familiar figure vaulted off the roof to pull it out of the concrete.

"Imagine my surprise when a report came in about trouble at a club downtown." Lightning Yun-Farron stalked forward, menace present in every single step. The group of young people backed away until they were pressed flat against the alley wall. "I do miss being out on regular patrol, so I thought I'd go with Hope to check things out. So… do you have anything to say for yourselves?"

Yuffie waved cheerfully. "Uh, hi, Mrs Yun-Farron. We –"

"I wasn't talking to you." Lightning's sunny smile was a million times scarier to her daughters and niece than the glare they'd expected. "I was talking to them."

Averia looked at Claire, and then both of them looked at Diana. The younger girl had always been the best at talking her way out of trouble. Maybe, just maybe, she could talk them out of it again.

"Well, it's like this." Diana winced as Lightning tapped one boot on the ground. "There was… uh… and then…" She shrugged and looked at Averia and Claire. "Sorry, guys, I've got nothing."

"I thought so." Lightning scowled. "The rest of you go home and tell your parents what happened. If I even think you haven't done that, I will tell them myself. As for you three." Her lips curled. "You're coming with me."

X X X

Averia and Diana sat on opposite ends of the living room couch. They were waiting for their parents to come back from the dining room with their punishment.

"You've got nothing?" Averia scoffed. "Seriously, that was the best you could do?"

"What was I supposed to say? Mother would have seen right through us, and you know it. The moment she got there, we were doomed." Diana sighed. "I still can't believe you started another brawl."

"Me? Oh no, you're not pinning this one on me. You head butted that guy. That's what started all of this."

"Because he grabbed me."

"I'm not saying he didn't deserve it, but facts are fact." Averia scowled. "You started it."

"Fine, maybe I did start this one." Diana leaned back on the couch and giggled. "It was kind of fun though, wasn't it?"

"Maybe, but we're in big trouble this time. I'm betting we'll be grounded for at least a month, so that means no going out at night, no hanging out after school – the works."

Diana made a disgusted sound and then gave Averia a teasing smile. "You were pretty cool back there, you know." She did her best impression of Averia. "Walk away." She chuckled. "Talk about being bad ass."

"That was kind of cool, I guess." A small smile tickled the edges of Averia's lips. "You weren't half bad with that chair either. Who taught you that?"

"Aunt Vanille." Diana smirked. "And I liked that bit where you kicked some guy's legs out from under him then kicked him again while he was still in the air. That was like something out of a video game."

Averia sniggered. That had been pretty cool. "What about you and your 'Super Flying Kick To The Back Technique… Version Two!' What was that all about?"

"He was pretty big, so I didn't think kicking him in the front would have worked." Diana shrugged. "And Version One involves a chainsaw, so I couldn't have done that either."

X X X

In the dining room, Fang and Lightning weren't discussing the girls' punishment so much as they were listening to them talk.

"She actually shouted the name of her attack in the middle of a fight?" Fang grinned. "Even you have to admit that's kind of cool, and I have to see that Version One."

Regardless of how curious Lightning was, and she was very curious as to what kind of flying kick in the back involved a chainsaw, she wasn't about let Fang know. "Cool? I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry." Lightning scowled. "And don't forget, they got into a brawl. They could have been hurt."

"But they weren't." Fang chuckled. "And don't pretend like you weren't in your fair share of brawls when you were younger. I've talked to Serah, and Amodar pulled your records for me. They've got a long, long way to go before they can match what you got up to." Her voice softened, and she put her arms around Lightning. "Look, you're completely right. They deserve to get punished, and whatever you come up with, I'll support you. Right now, I'm just glad they looked out for each other and that all of them are okay."

"That's true, I suppose." It was bad enough they'd started a fight at a nightclub – a nightclub that Diana's wasn't even supposed to be allowed into – but she would have been beyond furious if they'd left each other to fend for themselves. They were family, damn it, which meant they stuck together. Sighing, she relaxed a little into Fang's embrace. "But don't think I'm going to go easy on them. We're lucky that no one is pressing charges since the whole thing was such a confusing mess."

"So, what are you going to do to them?"

Lightning's smile was utterly ruthless. "They'll be spending the next month scrubbing toilets."

"That doesn't sound too bad. Our toilets are already close to spotless." Fang shrugged. Lightning tended to be a little bit obsessive about stuff like that.

"I never said they'd be scrubbing our toilets. The toilet block at the Guardian Corps training centre could use a good cleaning." Lightning's lips twitched. "They've always talked about joining, so they might as well get started early."

Fang laughed. "You are so evil, but that's why I love you." She tilted her head to one side. "Did you already talk with Serah about this or –"

A bloodcurdling shriek came from the house next door.

Lightning smiled thinly. "That sounded like Claire. Serah must have finished telling her." She pulled Fang toward the living room. "Come on, let's tell the girls. We can't have Claire suffering alone."

X X X

"On the upside, at least mother is only making us scrub the women's toilets." Diana leaned back and was about to wipe the sweat off her brow before she thought better of it. Her gloves were coated in a great deal of stuff she preferred not to think about.

"How can you be so cheerful about this?" Averia was hunched over, scrubbing the floor.

"I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it could be worse."

"She has a point." Claire walked in carrying enough toilet paper for every stall in the toilet block. "It sucks not having much free time anymore, but I've kind of gotten used to it." She chuckled. "And at least your mother let us use proper toilet brushes to scrub the toilets."

"Oh?" There was a story behind that, Averia was sure of it.

Claire grinned. "When your mother caught my mom sneaking into a nightclub, she made her scrub toilets with a toothbrush."

"No way." Diana stared at Claire. "You're saying that our mother, the same woman who lets Aunt Serah get her way on pretty much everything, that same person made her scrub toilets with a toothbrush?"

"Yep. My dad told me all about it. It was one of the few times my mom ever picked a fight with your mother until he came along."

"I guess you're right then." Averia shuddered. Scrubbing toilets was bad enough, doing it with a toothbrush would have been horrible.

"And don't you feel like you're part of the Guardian Corps now?" Diana gestured at some of the other people scrubbing the toilet block with them. "Well?"

As usual, Diana had a point. Their Uncle Hope had caught a few of the newest recruits slacking off and had assigned them to help the girls with their unwelcome duty. The women were working alongside them in the women's toilet block while the men cleaned theirs. Right now, there were almost a dozen other unfortunates scrubbing, cleaning and generally being miserable.

Diana smirked. "Besides, one day, I'm going to run the whole Guardian Corps. When that happens, it'll be me ordering mother to scrub toilets."

"Is that so?" Lightning appeared so suddenly that Diana nearly jumped into the wall beside her in surprise. "You've got a long way to go before that ever happens. In the meantime, how would you feel about using a toothbrush to do all the cleaning?"

"I'll get back to work right away, ma'am!" Diana flashed a quick salute.

"Good, there's been too much talking and not enough cleaning." Lightning turned and headed off to terrorise the new recruits with Hope. "I want this floor clean enough to eat off by the time I get back. If it isn't, I can promise you that you will be eating off it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
> 
> I remember, many moons ago, that I promised you a chapter about the girls in the future. Never let it be said that I don't keep my word. Here it is, and what you make of it is completely up to you.
> 
> As you can see, Diana is still a prankster and still more than a little weird. Likewise, Averia is still looking out for her sister and still picking on her just a little bit (in a nice way). And, of course, Claire is still mostly normal with the same sort of happy-go-lucky nature that got Snow into so much trouble.
> 
> The joke about an inappropriately deep fixation with her sister is one that I've made before about Lightning and Serah. Given how protective Averia is of Diana, I thought it would be nice to make it again. Having Averia completely freak her younger sister out is just a big, big plus. And, yes, I did make up Diana's pick up lines. And, no, I've never used them. Give me at least a little credit. However, feel free to use them if you think they'll work (I doubt they will).
> 
> The girls' punishment is definitely something that Lightning would come up with. It combines usefulness (the toilets do need to be cleaned regularly) with sheer, mind numbing horror (I doubt there are many teenagers who want to clean the toilet, never mind an entire block of toilets). It also lets her keep a very close eye on them.
> 
> So, there you have it, a chapter set in the future. If you would like another one, do let me know, and I'll see what I can come up with. For those of you who are curious, I decided to go with Averia's point of view for most of this because she hasn't really gotten as much "screen time" as Diana or Claire. Given my love of symmetry, any other chapters set in the future are likely to feature more sections written from Diana and Claire's points of view.
> 
> Note: Tidus, Yuna and Rikku are from Final Fantasy X. Both Yuna and Rikku have made earlier appearances in this story, Yuna as Claire and Averia's friend and Rikku as one of Diana's. Yuffie is from Final Fantasy VII and also made an earlier appearance as one of Diana's other friends (she has wonderful taste doesn't she?).
> 
> As always, I appreciate your feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	15. Sometimes It Just Runs In The Family

**Sometimes It Just Runs In The Family**

Sergeant Major Averia Yun-Farron was a badass. No, scratch that. When it came to young, up-and-coming Guardian Corps officers, she was  _the_  badass.

She had graduated at the top of her class at the New Eden Guardian Corps Academy with the highest scores ever recorded. But her accomplishments hadn't been limited to the classroom. No, she'd taken to fieldwork like her little sister, Diana, had taken to live fire exercises. Whether she was on beat patrol or part of a criminal investigation, she'd completed each one of her missions with skill, speed, and unwavering resolve.

Her fellow officers weren't sure what to make of her. On one hand, everyone wanted to be part of her squad. She was notoriously protective of her squad members. Given her success rate, membership meant safety and a quick path to promotion. On the other hand, it was hard to be around her sometimes since most people came off as mediocre in comparison to her. Not everybody could be the daughter of two living legends and actually live up to the family legacy.

But despite Averia's well-earned reputation as a frighteningly gifted and absolutely fearless soldier, there were still a few people who terrified her. She was standing in front of one of them right now. The fact that Diana and Claire were right there beside her didn't help much either. If anything, they were probably more terrified than she was.

"Explain to me, sergeant major, why you thought it would be a good idea to engage ten advanced, heavy combat robots on an open highway."

The general folded her hands together on top of the table and turned the full force of her cold, blue eyes on Averia. There was no room for backchat here, not room for disobedience or lying. If Averia told anything less than the complete and utter truth, she was a dead woman, regulations be damned.

Averia swallowed thickly and took a few moments to regain her composure. On either side of her, Diana and Claire were so quiet and were standing so straight that they might as well have been statues. Most of the time, Averia liked being in charge, but not now. Besides, Diana had always been better at talking her way out of trouble, and they were definitely in trouble now.

"I am waiting, sergeant major." The general's eyes narrowed. One did not keep the head of the Guardian Corps waiting. "Well?"

"My apologies, ma'am." Averia took a deep breath. All she could do was tell the truth and hope for the best. If that didn't work, she might have to use Diana and Claire as human shields and run for it. "I was with Sergeant Villiers and Private First Class Yun-Farron when we received reports of an attack on a research facility. The culprits were identified by witnesses as ten advanced, heavy combat robots, most likely controlled from a mobile command station."

"I am under the impression that these robots were also involved in an attack several days ago on another research facility."

"That is correct, ma'am. I believe they were. I've been told that they are based on a design not unlike the Juggernauts but with an emphasis on speed, mobility, and ranged weaponry as opposed to brute force."

"I am well aware of their combat specification, sergeant major." The general's voice snapped out like a whip, and Averia had to fight to keep from visibly cringing. "Those combat robots were based on a design that was stolen from a weapons manufacturing company roughly six months ago. They are designed for high-mobility urban action with a specialisation in anti-personnel warfare. In other words, sergeant major, they were purpose-built to kill people like you. That is why regulations stipulate that at least one full squad is deployed when engaging two or more of these combat robots. There were ten of them, sergeant major, and only three of you."

"With all due respect, ma'am, those robots weren't built to fight people like me. And they certainly weren't built to fight people like Private First Class Yun-Farron and Sergeant Villiers." Averia was one of the few people in the world who could match the general's glare, at least for a little while. "Given the speed the robots were travelling at, I couldn't afford to wait for reinforcements. And based on previous experience, calling in more officers would only have guaranteed more fatalities. The two women standing on either side of me were my best option for removing the threat without further loss of life."

"Are you certain of that?" The general's voice was quiet but cutting. "What would you have done if one of them was injured or even killed?"

Just thought of losing either Diana or Claire was enough to make Averia feel sick. But the general wasn't giving them enough credit. "I know both of them very well. I knew they could handle it. I wouldn't have asked them to come with me if I wasn't sure of that."

The general leaned back in her chair and folded her arms over her chest. She was no longer a young woman, but her refined features were as regal as ever. There were still times when Averia thought the general looked more like a queen, stately and proud, than a military officer. But no queen could fight the way the general could. And only someone baptised in the fire of a thousand battles could have an aura like the general, an aura of sheer, indisputable, and overwhelming authority.

"I see. Continue, sergeant major. Tell me what happened next."

"Together with Private First Class Yun-Farron and Sergeant Villiers, I attempted to intercept the robots before they could reach the highway."

"You failed. They reached the highway."

"Yes, ma'am, they did, and I considered calling off the pursuit. However, I was then informed by the commanding officers of several other squads that the highway ahead had been evacuated and sealed to regular traffic. That was when I made the final decision to engage the enemy."

"I will need the names of those commanding officers along with a full transcript of any and all communications relevant to the battle. The fact that they were able to evacuate and seal off the highway so quickly is commendable. However, their inability to provide reinforcements in a more timely manner is unacceptable."

"I will be sure to forward those details to you, ma'am."

"See that you do. Now continue. I want a complete breakdown of the engagement. Leave nothing out." The general's full lips firmed into a thin line of displeasure as she pinned all three of the young women in place with her infamous glare. "If I even think that you're withholding information, I will bust all of you back down to private, and you will be scrubbing toilets for the next twenty years. Am I clear?"

"Most definitely, ma'am." Averia shuddered. She'd already scrubbed enough toilets to last a lifetime. "Here is what happened…"

X X X

Averia growled as one of the combat robots spun and opened fire. Thanks to advances in the same technology that powered her velocycle, the combat robots had attainted unprecedented levels of speed and agility. Each of them hovered a few inches above the surface of the road and could turn, spin, and rotate almost freely while still moving forward along the road at high speed. It would have been almost beautiful if the robots weren't currently doing their best to kill her, Diana, and Claire.

She jerked her velocycle sharply to one side as a hail of bullets ripped up the road in front of her. The laser mounted on the robot's shoulder hummed, and she reversed direction just in time to see the road where she'd been evaporate in a cloud of super-heated concrete. These things were packing some heat, all right. If she wanted to take them out, she needed to get closer. She dodged another round of gunfire and gestured at Diana and Claire with one hand. Then she revved her velocycle up to full speed.

The wind tore past as Averia leaned lower, pressed almost flat against her velocycle. Her eyes darted back and forth from the road ahead to the weapons mounted on the robot. The robot's right fist twitched before it transformed into a plasma cannon. Interesting. The weapon gave a low whine before a ball of searing plasma rippled toward her. She leaned sideways to avoid the attack, the velocycle almost completely horizontal for a split-second, before she reached for the folded-up spear slung across her hip.

Her weapon was a product of her Aunt Vanille's genius – a spear that could fold into something about a third of its usual size for easy transport while still being able to transform into a gun. The spear unfolded to its full length, and she scowled as another one of the robots turned to offer supporting fire.

The robot fired its laser and when that missed, and Averia closed the gap, it heaved one enormous fist down to try and crush her. Her eyes narrowed. She wasn't that easy to kill. She swung her velocycle into the narrow gap between the robot's oncoming arm and its body. As the robot's fist smashed into the highway, she drove her spear up and into its armpit.

There was a hideous shriek as the point of her spear hit home, and her velocycle's engines gave a howl of protest as she braced herself and shoved upward. The robot's arm came loose in a shower of sparks and severed metal, and she spun wildly and somehow ended up in front of the machine as it rounded on her, its laser already angling for another shot as it brought its remaining arm up for another attack.

With her velocycle still spinning, Averia tossed one glance back at the robot and then leapt up and off her vehicle. Under normal circumstances, jumping off a velocycle spinning around at high speed would have been suicide. But these weren't normal circumstances, and she'd come prepared. Averia had a Grav-Con Unit. And while using a Grav-Con unit was more art than science, it was an art her mother had spent years beating into her on the sparring courts, all for moments like these.

Averia twisted through the air. She dodged the robot's laser by a hair's breadth and drove her spear deep into its chest. Sparks flew, and she heard something inside the robot screech to a halt. Whatever armour her opponent had, her spear had been crafted according to the finest Yun traditions. The robot brought its arm down to knock her off, and she dropped, grabbing hold of her spear and then kicking off the robot's arm for added momentum as she swung herself up and over her spear.

She swung around with enough force to yank her spear free and throw herself up over the robot's head. It tracked her, firing bullet after bullet, until she came down and rammed her spear right through the top of its head. A savage twist of her wrist was enough to rip the head off entirely. The robot gave a low whine and tumbled out of the air. It hit the surface of the road and sent up a shower of debris. Averia tapped a button on her spear, and her velocycle angled back toward her. She leapt off the downed robot and landed on her velocycle just in time to dodge another wave of gunfire.

Averia scowled. What was taking Diana and Claire so long? They needed to move now if they wanted to take these robots down.

Almost as though she could read her mind, Diana blazed past. There was a maniacal grin on her lips as she launched herself up off her velocycle, right at the robot in front of her. She landed on its outstretched arm and hacked down into the limb with her gunblade. There wasn't enough force behind the blow to sever the limb completely, but she'd aimed for the elbow joint. The robot did the rest when it yanked its arm up to try and throw her off. The arm snapped at the elbow, and Diana used the upward momentum of the robot's sudden movement to hurtle over its head. She transformed her gunblade in mid-air and peppered the top of the robot's head with bullets until the armour cracked.

A laser beam lanced through the air, but Diana was already moving. She let herself fall back off the robot as she gestured with one hand.

"Firaga."

Diana's manadrive pulsed and a cloud of fire enveloped the top of the robot. It went down, burnt from the inside out, and Diana landed back on her velocycle. She grinned and then swept backward, away from a stream of bullets, to join Averia.

More of the robots turned, and Averia felt a stab of worry. She forced it back. Diana could handle it. She knew she could. Without a word, she closed the gap on the robots again, willing Diana to follow her lead. At this speed, she didn't have time to explain her plan. She needed Diana to anticipate her and keep up, and Diana didn't disappoint. The younger woman slipped seamlessly into the space behind Averia as, up ahead, Claire worked to buy them a little more time.

The oldest of the Villiers children had taken after her father in more ways than one. Apart from being taller than both Averia and Diana – a fact neither woman appreciated in the least, especially Diana – she had also developed a, perhaps unhealthy, love of hand-to-hand combat. Along with a modified gunblade – another gift from their beloved Aunt Vanille – Claire sported a pair of specially modified gloves.

Claire's gloves were designed to act much like the emblems on her father's coat, enhancing her strength and channelling magic. She angled around a plasma blast and drew her gunblade. In many ways it was more similar to her mother's bow than the standard Guardian Corps weapon. It couldn't fire nearly as fast, but it packed a much bigger punch. Her first shot cracked the chest armour of the robot in front of her, and her second shot took out its laser cannon.

The robot reeled, and Claire threw herself up and forward. She grabbed hold of the arrow-like bolt her gunblade had left imbedded in its chest and drew back her right arm. Then she punched. The robot's chest armour cracked open, revealing its core, and she put another bolt right in the middle of it. The machine groaned and tumbled back, its limp body forcing Averia and Diana to split apart as Claire jumped back onto her velocycle.

That was three down… and seven more to go.

Averia gunned her velocycle back to top speed, glad that there weren't any civilians around. She wouldn't have to worry about holding back. The feeling didn't last long. A plethora of signs loomed up ahead: roadwork. Perfect. The combat robots sped along, heedless of the danger, and Averia cursed as the usable width of the highway all but halved.

Behind her, Averia saw Diana wave one fist at a pair of robots as they got within inches of putting a hole in her skull. A little further off, Claire managed to get alongside one of the other robots and blow out its engines. It went down in a cloud of smoke and fire before it smashed into a guardrail, pin-wheeled, and then exploded against a hillside.

Her eyes narrowed. She really, really didn't like it when anybody but her shot at her little sister. She looked ahead. Good, there was a ramp there. It was only half-finished, but it would do. She just hoped that Diana would figure out what she was doing before it was too late. Averia swung out onto the ramp, and Diana gave a startled yelp as the pink haired soldier went airborne, her velocycle aimed right at the robot that had shot at Diana.

BOOM.

The velocycle hit the combat robot right in the head. It jittered in the air, its head a smoking ruin, before it crashed into a wall alongside the road. Arcing through the air, Averia angled herself toward another one of the robots. But it had learned from the others. It sent a stream of bullets toward her. She deflected a few with a sweep of her spear, but she had no choice but to dive when it fired its laser. She landed on its back – right between two of its engines. She drove her spear into one and then transformed her spear into a gun to take out the other. The robot shuddered but managed to remain aloft, and she hissed as one of its hands almost closed around her head. This was bad. If she stayed on its back it would eventually manage to grab her. With a growl, she leapt upward.

"Thundaga."

The spell stunned her opponent, and she regained her footing up on its shoulder. Metal screeched as she shoved her spear into its head and twisted. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Diana swing her velocycle around like a knight out of a storybook, wheeling the vehicle around to dodge a crushing blow from one of the robots. The younger woman cut right through the robot's wrist and then raced around to fire at the robot's back. A combination of spells and bullets blew out her opponent's engines before a blizzaga sent it off the road and into a river. Then Diana was headed right for Averia. She knew exactly what her older sister was about to do.

Beneath Averia, the robot continued to thrash and flail until one final twist of her spear took out its central processor. It slammed into the ground, and they skidded toward the edge of the road. Wonderful.

"Jump!" Diana stretched out one hand as she pulled alongside, somehow managing to keep the velocycle clear of the out-of-control robot. "Come on!"

Averia didn't have to think twice. She jumped, her hand closing around her sister's as Diana, finally taller and stronger if a little bit slower, pulled Averia into place behind her.

Diana chuckled. "Heh… mother's going to kill you when she finds out you totalled your velocycle. Do you even know how much one of those things costs?"

Rather than reply, Averia chose to tighten her grip around her sister's middle until Diana gave a little yelp. "I blew it up to save you from getting shot, you little brat. You could at least show some gratitude."

Diana glanced back and smirked. "Little? In case you've forgotten, I'm taller than you now, 'big' sister." She laughed and reached down to loosen Averia's hold. Averia had always accused her of being a crazy driver, but it wasn't like she could talk. "There are still three of those things left, but I've got an idea. Care to go for a flight?"

Averia's eyes widened as the last three robots fell into formation ahead of them and opened fire. Claire was alongside them, grinning from ear-to-ear as she wove back and forth through the streams of gunfire and the occasional laser beam or plasma blast.

"Are you two thinking what I'm thinking?" Claire shouted. "Because if you are, I'm definitely in."

Diana cackled. "It's not everyday I get to throw my sister around and not get punched for it."

"Enjoy it while it lasts." Averia leaned over her sister's shoulder. "Now!"

As Claire blazed forward, firing her heavily modified gunblade, Diana threw her velocycle into a spin. Averia shifted in her seat, and as they came out of the spin, she let Diana grab her by the wrist and fling her right at the lead robot. She led with her spear, and the weapon went right through the robot's head.

Beside her, Claire and Diana double-teamed one of the other robots. The pair wove back and forth on either side of it. Claire smashed its legs out from under it, and then Diana swung by, leaning sharply to one side as she cut off its head. The last robot unleashed a storm of bullets, but Diana was far, far too good on a velocycle to be hit. She duked back and forth, and her gunblade jerked hard against her as she took out the robot's plasma cannon and laser to clear a path for Claire. The pink haired soldier jumped off her velocycle and smashed the robot's head in with one fist before another pair of blows cracked open its chest and broke its core.

The three robots toppled to the ground, and Averia flipped off, landing behind Claire. The other woman smirked as Diana pulled up alongside with a playful scowl.

"Give back my sister!"

Claire grinned. "Not a chance, shorty."

And then they skidded to a stop, so they could turn to survey the damage. They hadn't done half bad for only three people.

X X X

There was a long moment of silence in which the general said nothing and did nothing except for stare at Averia. To her disgust, Averia found herself fidgeting beneath the older woman's scrutiny. No matter how old or experienced she was, she'd never been able to stand this look from the general.

"So, I am to understand that your version of tactics involved throwing yourself at the robots multiple times while dodging copious amounts of gunfire along with laser beams and plasma blasts. I am also to understand that both Private First Class Yun-Farron and Sergeant Villiers came close to death on multiple occasions, and that you used your velocycle as a projectile weapon. Is that correct, Sergeant Major Yun-Farron?"

Admitting the truth had never been so terrifying. "Yes, ma'am."

"And what convinced you that doing any of those things was a good idea?"

"I simply asked myself what you would have done, ma'am."

The general sighed. "I see." Then her lips twitched up ever so slightly at the edges. "I can't say that you're wrong. I probably would have handled things in a similar manner." She tapped her desk with one finger. "But there will have to be an investigation. A non-negligible amount of damage was done to the highway and its surroundings. However, it may please you to know that the controllers were apprehended shortly after you dealt with the last of the robots."

"That's good to know, ma'am."

The general stood and walked out from behind her desk. Despite the fact that she was the same height as Averia and actually shorter than both Diana and Claire, all three of the young women cringed at her approach. She stopped in front of them and let her eyes wander over each of them. She was taking their measure. The only question now was whether she would find any of them wanting.

Finally, she spoke. "You should be proud of yourselves. Most people would have died in your situation." She paused. "However, you are right. You are not most people. But even so, if you ever do something that reckless and stupid again, if you ever put yourselves in that much danger without personally informing me beforehand, I will strangle you myself."

"Uh… ma'am?"

The general pulled Diana and Averia into her arms. "If you ever frighten me like that again, I'll kill you and ground you for life? Is that understood?"

Claire snickered. How exactly could the general ground them after they were dead? However, her amusement was short-lived when the general hugged her too.

"That goes for you, as well, Claire."

General Lightning Yun-Farron allowed herself another moment to hold her daughters and niece before she cleared her throat and walked back to her seat behind her desk. "That will be all for now. You are dismissed, but I want you to see the medics on base before you go anywhere." Her eyes narrowed. "And Averia, you, Diana and Claire will all be coming over for dinner tomorrow, and I expect you to bring your girlfriend. It's about time you introduced her."

"My girlfriend?" Averia squawked. All of her composure fled at the realisation that her mother knew, which meant that her mom knew, which meant that her Aunt Vanille knew, which meant that her Aunt Serah knew, which meant… and was that Diana trying to sneak out the door? She turned and grabbed her little sister. "You told!"

So much for being a refined, mature member of the Guardian Corps.

"I couldn't help it." Despite being taller and stronger, the younger woman couldn't seem to break her older sister's grip. "Mother did that glaring thing and then there was pouting and a guilt trip and…"

Lightning chuckled softly. "Don't blame your sister. When I want to find out about something, I find out. It's that simple."

"Fine." Averia ran one hand through her hair. Could this day get any worse? "I can bring her to dinner. But please, please, don't scare her away."

"I can't make any promises." Lightning waved at the door. "You can go."

Diana made a face. "I don't think you have to worry about them scaring her off, Averia. I remember walking in on you two and – oh crap."

"Oh?" Lightning's smile was terrifying. "So it's that serious then?"

Averia sputtered. If looks could kill, Diana would have been a mangled corpse. It didn't help one bit that Claire was grinning like her mother now. "I… uh…"

"Should I be expecting grandchildren, Averia?"

Averia waited until she was out of her mother's office before trying to strangle her sister. It took Claire and five other officers to restrain her. Diana winced. It might be better if she spent the night over at her Uncle Hope and Aunt Vanille's house rather than at the apartment that she, Averia, and Claire shared. Her little cousin Raine would definitely be happy to see her, and she wouldn't have to worry about Averia murdering her in her sleep.

Well, that was probably an exaggeration. Probably. Diana knew how much Averia loved her, but she did look pretty angry. Once Averia calmed down a little though, Diana would definitely go back to teasing her again. By the looks of it, her mom and mother would be only too happy to join in too.

X X X

Lightning waited until the girls were all out of her office before she let loose a deep sigh and sank back into her chair. She'd received word about the attack on the research facility during a budget meeting and had immediately postponed it so that she could go to the operations centre to observe the pursuit. Several other squads had already sealed off the highway, but to her frustration, none of them were in a good position to provide reinforcements in a timely manner. She'd been forced to set aside the part of her that was a mother and an aunt so that the general in her could observe.

She'd lied to Averia. She hadn't needed to know what had happened because she'd seen all of it unfold courtesy of the Guardian Corps' surveillance aircraft and the aircraft of several prominent news channels. If the girls weren't already famous, they would be after this. Tomorrow, after dinner, she'd discuss it with them. Tonight, they needed to rest.

But watching the battle had been one of the hardest experiences of her life. It had been an amazing fight, and each success had made her heart swell with pride. But she'd been close to having a heart attack several times over. Only her faith in the girls and the training she and the others had given them over the years had kept her from charging out there herself. It reminded her of how she'd felt watching Hope in action for the first time.

Even now, Lightning wasn't sure if she wanted to congratulate them, kill them, or never let them go. They might be grown women, but Diana and Averia would always be her daughters, and Claire would always be her niece. Part of her would always see them as that ragtag trio causing mischief around the house.

With another sigh, she dialled a number and looked over at her computer screen.

"Hey, beautiful." Fang grinned back at her from the screen. "How are you?"

Lightning rolled her eyes and bit back a smile. "Fang."

"What? You are beautiful." Fang's smile faded, and her voice took on a more serious tone. "How are the girls, Lightning? And how are you?"

"They're fine, thank the Maker, all of them. But… I'm not sure how I feel. I'm proud, but… you know. They're our girls." Lightning paused. "How are the ones you caught?"

"There were about a dozen of them in that mobile command centre. The girls bought us a lot of time – we were able to track the transmissions back and catch them off guard. They're in our custody now. It looks like an inside job – some of them are employees at the weapons manufacturing company."

Fang's voice was calm, but Lightning knew her wife better than anyone. And she hadn't missed the blood on Fang's knuckles. "Should I send some medics over?"

"I'm fine."

"I wasn't talking about you. They need to be alive to stand trial."

"Oh, they're alive." Fang's voice hardened. "But their leader might have fallen down a few flights of stairs after confessing."

"I see. How unfortunate." Lightning smiled. "By the way, Averia will be bringing her girlfriend over for dinner tomorrow. I'm under the impression it's quite serious. Diana walked in on them. She's probably scarred for life."

"I doubt it." Fang laughed. "Remember us? Vanille and Serah must have walked in on us heaps of time and –"

"Fang!"

"Fine, fine." Fang chuckled some more. "We can put her girlfriend through the grinder tomorrow, but there's still tonight to think about. How about I come pick you up from your office?" Fang's gaze warmed. "The girls have their own apartment now, so we have the whole house to ourselves. We can go out to dinner, have a nice bath, and then… well, you know."

Lightning most certainly did know. Some things never changed. "You are quite good at getting my attention. How far are you? I can go home and change first –"

"Nah." Fang grinned. "I like you in uniform. Plus, we're guaranteed to get the best seats in the house. Besides, I can always get you out of that uniform later."

X X X

Perhaps it was fate that brought Lightning and Fang together.

Lightning liked to think it was.

But it may also have been fate that Fang and Lightning had chosen the exact same restaurant as Averia. The young woman was in the middle of explaining the upcoming dinner to her girlfriend – and stealing a kiss or two – when her parents walked in. And being a general had its perks. Fang took one look at the amorous young couple and whispered in Lightning's ear. Lightning called the maître d over, and it wasn't long before they had a table right next to Averia and her girlfriend. They could make it a double date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
> 
> I had originally planned for the next chapter of Ordinary Heroes to involve camping. In fact, I am around 4500 words into that particular chapter although things are a bit complicated since I'm trying to incorporate material from about four different versions of it (some of the earlier versions had good ideas but just didn't work out, others worked out but weren't very interesting at all).
> 
> In any case, this chapter was originally supposed to be part of a collection of three glimpses into the future that would have constituted the next chapter for The Cookie Jar. However, as I was writing this chapter, it quickly became evident that it was too long to go in The Cookie Jar, and it could actually stand on its own. So here we are. For those who are curious, I do have drafts of the other two parts lying around, one focusing on Diana, and the other focusing on Claire in much the same way that this part focused on Averia. I'll get around to them eventually. But I'm not sure they can stand on their own the way this chapter could.
> 
> A lot of people have asked what exactly the girls get up to when they're older. I gave an answer of sorts in an earlier chapter, but this chapter is set even further into the future than that one. Here, the girls are young women in their own right. They have, as I mentioned in the chapter, moved into their own apartment. They are all members of the Guardian Corps with Averia the most senior member and Diana the least senior.
> 
> There are a few other important things to note here, apart from all three of the girls following in the badass footsteps of their parents. First, Diana actually did get taller – a lot taller. In fact, she's taller than Averia is (Averia is the same height as Lightning whereas Diana is the same height as Fang). Somewhat, humorously, Claire is taller than them both since she took more after Snow than Serah in terms of height. She also isn't an only child anymore (she is the oldest of the Villiers children, implying there are others). Hope and Vanille are also married and have at least one child, Raine, who is particularly close to Diana (not surprising, all things considered).
> 
> Averia also has a girlfriend. Now, you might be wondering why she kept that a secret (and how given that she's sharing an apartment with Diana and Claire). Let's just say that Lightning and Fang are very overprotective. Averia knows exactly what kind of grinder they'll put her girlfriend through, which is why she's been trying to put off introducing her. Well, she's out of luck now. But who is her girlfriend? I have a few ideas, but I'll let you guys speculate about who it might be. And as for Diana and Claire's relationship statuses… that's a story for another day.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


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